A/N: Ever since Avengers I had this idea of Tony being drunk, pissed off at Steve for just being there, and ranting at Steve about what it was like growing up with Howard as a father… No Slash… just teammates… Also I want to thank my Beta, Tari Roo, She has been amazing. She was such a great help in expanding my ideas and I think she really helped to make this an really good story... I hope you all enjoy the angst... so without further ado, on with the story…
Tony Stark was in his workshop thoroughly drunk. He'd been there the whole night, steadily working through several bottles of high class booze. It was his father's birthday, if his father had still been alive, so he wasn't particularly in the mood to be around people. Currently it was 8am and he was tinkering – as best one could when drunk - with the newest Iron Man suit, designing a few upgrades. He looked up at the 3-D rendering floating before him, while taking a drink of whiskey straight from the bottle, having foregone the pretense of a glass in the wee hours of the morning. The whiskey burned on the way down, making him hiss.
The lights were turned down low by J.A.R.V.I.S. and when the morning light had begun to pour in through the floor to ceiling windows, Tony had ordered J.A.R.V.I.S. to close the metal shutters, thrusting the lab back into the dimly lit state it was before and gloomy enough to fit his mood. The lab in the Tower was similar in design to the lab in Tony's Malibu home, minus the cars and bikes since it was on one of the top floors. The organization and cleanliness of the lab was in contrast to the man who was occupying the space, except for the desk in front of him. The desk and surrounding area, was littered with empty bottles of liquor. When the evening began he had started with beer, but as the night went on, he graduated to harder liquors, like vodka, tequila, and now whiskey – Johnny Walker Blue to be precise. Tony had a little more than 5 o'clock shadow on his cheeks, the dark stubble thick and gritty. He hadn't shaved since the morning of the day before. He had dark, heavy looking bags under his eyes, and his eyes were bloodshot and pupils dilated.
Several floors below, Steve was in the common space the Avengers shared, standing at the bar, wishing he could get drunk. His hair was still a little damp from the shower he took earlier. He was wearing a nice button up shirt and khaki pants, which were neatly pressed; Steve fingered the cap and seal of a fancy looking bottle. He was the only one around, since everyone else had 'somewhere' else to be. Not Steve though. Today was Howard Stark's birthday, if he had still been living. It seemed like just yesterday, Peggy, Howard, Bucky and Steve were all at a little pub in England celebrating Howard's birthday. He knew, once the confusion subsided, after waking up from being on ice, that he might still have some familiar, if older, friendly faces around him still. He had taken the news hard when he heard that Howard had died.
Since waking up from his frozen 70 year nap, he had been doing pretty good at moving on and adapting to the new century he found himself in, however at times like this, he found himself wishing things could have been different. He missed the simpler times when there wasn't so much technology, so much rushing about. It seems like everybody from three year old kids to eighty year old grandparents had cell phones, smart phones and things stuck in their ears. Not to mention the big flat screen T.V.'s, Blu-ray players, DVD's, and CD's, iPads and half a dozen other whatsits. It was enough to make his head spin, especially when the technology in Stark's Tower was so much more advanced than what the average person had access to, like J.A.R.V.I.S. Sometimes he felt like he would never catch up with all the changes. Heck, he still wasn't completely used to the disembodied British voice that seemed to be all seeing and all knowing, just there…
Tired of staring at the pointless liquor cabinet, he turned on his heel, a vague notion of finding the one person still alive who would remember and have a connection to Howard forming in his mind. So many of those who would remember him are either dead or had lost all their memory to dementia or something. Surely, Tony would also want to commemorate this day.
Steve started walking out from behind the bar, to search for Tony when he paused, realizing he didn't know where Stark was – there was a good chance he wasn't even in the building. 'Have suit, will fly' was pretty much Tony's attitude. Steve bit his lower lip and furrowed his eyebrows, not really wanting to search the entire tower for the guy as it's a pretty big tower. Just when he was about to turn around and go back to the bar, he remembered there was one way to find Tony without any legwork and determine if he was home.
"Uh… J.A.R.V.I.S.?" Steve asked hesitantly, unsure where to look when speaking to the disembodied voice.
"Yes, Mr Rogers?" J.A.R.V.I.S.' clear British voice answered coming from everywhere and nowhere.
Blinking, and licking his lips, Steve asked carefully, "Where's Tony?"
Without a second's pause, J.A.R.V.I.S. answered, "Mr Stark is currently in his workshop. However, I do not think he wishes to be disturbed at the moment, Mr Rogers."
"Uh… as in, Tony asked not to be disturbed?" Steve questioned, unconsciously turning a bit, trying to 'find' J.A.R.V.I.S.' voice.
"Mr Stark has not specifically requested not to be disturbed. However, based on past occasions, it is highly probable that Mr Stark would not enjoy company at the moment," J.A.R.V.I.S. responded pleasantly. But there was an edge to his voice – if you could believe that – a worried edge.
"And uh, you uh… you came to that conclusion all on your own?" Steve asked, not really sure if 'you' was the correct pronoun to use.
"Yes, Mr Rogers. I am capable of analysing data and determining the most likely outcome."
"Right, okay, thanks…" Steve said, and made his way up to Tony's workshop. He knocked on the door a few times but got no response. Steve tried the door handle and pushed the door open after finding it unlocked.
"Hey, Tony, you in here?" he asked even though J.A.R.V.I.S. already told him Tony was in the workshop. Computers could be wrong, right? Steve could hardly see anything when he first walked in. Once his eyes adjusted he spotted Tony sitting at his desk in the dark. In the middle of the desk was a 3D hologram of the inner workings of an Iron Man Suit hovering a few inches above the table, its glow the only illumination in the room. If the empty liquor bottles that surrounded Tony were not an indication, it was clear Tony was nearly blind drunk.
"Whadda ya wan' Capcicle?" Tony slurred, not even looking up from the 3D model, idly working, pulling things around on the design. He sounded very tired… and very drunk. To Steve's perspective, it seemed like the engineer was grieving. Steve was also a little jealous that Tony could get drunk.
"I just wanted to know if I could hang out in here with you. It's Howard's birthday and last time…" Steve asked cautiously trailing off – feeling a bit uncertain as Tony stiffened at the name 'Howard'. Tony Stark was an unpredictable man, or at least had been a bit unpredictable with him.
Tony whirled around in his chair. "Imma stop ya right there Spangly Pants! If yer here t'rem'ness 'bout Howard, ya can forget it…" Tony growled, eyes dark and hard, full of anger.
"What is your problem, Stark?" Steve asked, crossing his arms over his chest, refusing to back off but slightly perturbed by his reaction.
"My problem? My problem is you an' your perfect lil' heroic ass, Mr. Can-Do-No-Wrong Perfectly perfect World's First Super Duper Hero, Captain America," Tony slurred sarcastically, mock saluting him at the end, sneering all the while.
Trying not to get angry himself, Steve couldn't help but become defensive, and said sharply, "I never said I was perfect."
Tony rolled his eyes, and uncorked a new bottle of Johnny Walker Blue and took a big swig off the bottle, and laughed, "I know that… but according to Howard nobody could be better than you! I got into MIT, that's Massa… Massachu…"
Tony struggled for a while, mouthing the word a little before yelling, "M. I. mother fuckin' T at 15 years old… 15!"
He paused, taking in an unsteady breath, "By 19, I had not one, but two master's degrees!" He held up his hand, a shaky two fingers jabbing at Steve.
"D'ya see Dummy over there?" Tony ranted, pointing to his clumsy robot, "Built that my first year at M.I. mother fuckin' T. Told my dad 'bout it… but he didn't care."
Stark dismissed Dummy with a contemptuous wave, and did a whirling motion with his hand over his hand, "Started working on J.A.R.V.I.S. my second year! He was my final project for one of my Masters but did good ole dad care that I made the world's first actual fucking AI?"
Tony laughed loudly, coughing a little and spluttered, "Hell no. He didn't fucking care about me, 'bout what I did, what I achieved… all he could fuckin' do was search fer your stupid fuckin' perfect ass, build weapons an' get drunk off his mother fuckin' ass. D'ya know how he died?"
The sudden shift in topic nearly caught Steve off guard, and he nodded. "Car accident, I think I heard." Steve said quietly, trying to defuse some of the tension. Stark stared at him for long second, pupils wide and blown before shaking his head, like he was shaking away a memory.
"Bastard was drunk off his damn ass an' he was driving from some damn charity event with my mom…" Tony said, suddenly a lot quieter than he was before. "He turned onto the freeway goin' in the wrong direction. Crashed head on with some teenager at 80 miles an hour."
He added in a near whisper, "Killed my mom, the teenager an' himself."
"I'm sorry." Steve meant it, he really did. Tony though, waved it off, like Steve's sympathy meant nothing. Like Howard meant nothing. Some of the anger seemed to have leaked away, and Tony sagged into the chair, empty and lost.
"He never once told me he was proud of me, or that he loved me… never even said if he liked me or not…" Tony trailed off, perhaps realizing he was saying more than he normally would. Liquor can do that to a man. Loose lips sink ships, as they say.
Spinning back to his desk, he spun the model with his hand. "The only good thing he ever really did was discover the element that's keepin' me alive right now…" Tony growled angrily, tapping the muted blue glow under his black shirt. "Good ole Dad to the rescue…but if he had the technology to synthesis the element himself, he would've. He wouldn't have passed it on t'me." Tony paused, lost in memories, his fingers tapping against his chest, on one of the most miraculous inventions the world had seen. Howard would have been proud of that achievement, wouldn't he?
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but Stark flipped him off before he could and sneered, "So ex-squeeze me if I don't feel like being around you or anybody else fer that matter, Spangely Pants. Howard was an asshole, bastard, drunkard, never-there father… so I really don't wanna hear how fuckin' great you think he was."
He finished off the rest of the bottle, which was about half full, chugging it down. Once he emptied the bottle, it slipped from his hand, shattering on the concrete floor. Unconcerned at the noise and mess it made, Tony belched, then staggered to his feet, swaying wildly. Before Steve could reach him, Tony finally passed out. Tony's limp body soon followed the way of the bottle, crashing to the floor.
Steve sighed, unable to rationalize the man he knew from the man Tony described. He knew Howard could be wild, but he never thought Howard would do the things Tony had said. The Howard he had known was obviously not the same man Tony remembered. Sighing again, he bent down and picked Tony up off the floor. He couldn't leave his teammate on the cold concrete passed out drunk, on top of broken glass even if he had put himself there.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., could you please get one of Tony's robot arm things to clean up the broken glass?" Rogers sighed as he gingerly made his way over the glass to the door, easily keeping Tony out of harm's way.
"Of course, Mr Rogers," J.A.R.V.I.S. answered, and sent 'You' with the broom and 'Dummy' with the dust pan to clean up the broken glass.
Closing the door to the lab behind him, Steve carried Tony to his room, and put him on the bed. He took off Tony's shoes then covered him with a sheet and left the room.
Steve went down to the training facility and set up a punching bag. He wrapped his hands, and then began to punch the bag with most of his strength. As Steve punched the bag, he thought back to the man he knew as Howard Stark. He had been wild and reckless, a bit of a womanizer, but he had had a good heart. The Howard Stark he knew was funny, smart and a great friend. Someone he missed.
The first time he and Tony had met, he came in guns blazing, taking over the PA system on Natasha's Jet to play some sort of 'music' (not that Steve would call that noise 'music'). And then Thor had showed up and took Loki off the Jet, and Tony went after them guns blazing again, with no real plan. Tony was definitely as wild and as reckless as his father had been. Steve then thought back to the argument he and Tony had had on the Helicarrier. Squaring off, chest to chest and somehow he told Tony he wasn't the one to make the sacrifice play. Tony's response: the only thing special about Steve came out of a bottle. Not that much later, Tony had proved Steve wrong when Tony guided the nuke into the portal.
Steve still wasn't sure if he was just wrong about Tony, or if Tony had done it in part to spite Steve. Either way, by guiding the nuke into the portal, and destroying the mother ship, it had affected the alien soldiers on the ground, effectively ending the battle. But even before that argument, Tony had been abrasive and rude. Was he like that with everyone?
Now that Steve knew, at least from Tony's perspective (which is all he will ever have), what kind of father Howard had become. Steve was, at least in part, the reason why Howard wasn't around as much for Tony. Steve was a reminder for Tony of every time Howard had missed an important life achievement in Tony's life. It suddenly all made sense why Tony seemed to hate him and why Tony still acted so abrasive and rude towards Steve sometimes.
A/N: So I hope you all liked my story… Again I have to thank my Beta, Tari Roo. She's got a very cute Avengers fic everybody should read... oh and btw there are no pairings, just teammates, nothing more. Tony has Pepper and Steve is just too nice to leave a drunken person lying on broken glass on a cold floor.
So, ever since watching Iron Man 2, The Avengers and Captain America, I've been fascinated by the dynamic between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. From IM2, it is clear that Tony has some resentment towards his father. He loves his Dad, and was desperate for his approval but never got it. Steve and Howard had a pretty good friendship, and I would guess that Steve would have had a certain expectation of Tony to be similar to his father… until he read Tony's SHIELD file. Also, I noticed in the Avengers that, while Tony is always sarcastic, the only person he was really abrasive and rude to, was Steve. And the quip he made of 'This is the guy my Dad never shut up about?' to Bruce in the Helicarrier Lab makes me wonder if part of Tony's attitude was being compared to the late, great Captain America…but enough with my ramblings…
Review please! Hopefully you enjoyed the story.
As Always… Take What Ye Can… Give Nothin' Back!
Vampire Solidarity, Rah, Rah, Rah! (and all that)
Mrs. Capt. Jack Sparrows