John Paul swayed slightly in his chair as he poured the last of his semi warm pint into his mouth. The liquid trickled smoothly down his throat and added to the buzz of alcohol that was already coursing through his veins.
His soft blue eyes were somewhat unfocused as he looked towards his friends to see whose round it was next.
That is he looked towards where his friends had been, sat with him around a table at the Dog in the Pond, but now only empty chairs accompanied him. His brow wrinkled with the effort of remembering where they had gone until, one by one, the memories of their goodbyes returned to him and he recalled saying how he would stay a little longer, just until he had finished his pint.
John Paul's eyes wandered around the familiar décor of the familiar pub. How many times had he sat in this very room before? How many illegal drinks had he consumed before the legitimacy of his 18th birthday took all the fun out of it? And how many times had he sat across a table like the one he now occupied and looked into the deep brown eyes that had stolen his soul?
Of course for every happy memory of this place he carried a painful one. Not least of which was the memory of the day he walked into the middle of an engagement party that he had no knowledge of. The day he walked into another lie to stack on top of the lies he already lived with until he could stand it no longer. That had been the day everything changed and he thought he had found happiness. He soon learned that happiness could sometimes be very short lived.
John Paul sighed as he pushed his chair back. The lateness of the hour and the alcohol in his system were making him melancholy and it was time to go home.
As John Paul pushed open the door of the bar he found himself face to face with a pair of deep brown eyes. They weren't the eyes of the man who had broken his heart, or was it John Paul who had broken his lovers heart? Sometimes he wasn't quite sure.
But they were deep brown eyes all the same. So similar that sometimes he thought that he could see Craig reflected in them. Most of the time, however, all these eyes looked on him with was disgust and hate and tonight was no different.
"Get out of my way," Jake spat as John Paul stood in the doorway.
"Let me out and I will," John Paul replied without moving an inch.
"I said MOVE."
"Make me."
Jake's lips curled back in a snarl as he took an aggressive step forward. He expected the younger man to back down or at the very least flinch but instead John Paul stood his ground impassively.
"What IS your problem Jake?" John Paul asked levelly.
"YOU are… what you are… you make me sick."
John Paul shook his head. "Now tell me what the real problem is."
Jake ran his tongue over his lips. He was never certain why that young blue-eyed boy made him so uncomfortable but being observed under that bright gaze made Jake look away.
"What you did to Craig… it's disgusting."
"I didn't DO anything to Craig," John Paul laughed, "At least nothing he didn't want me to!"
"There!" Jake exclaimed with revulsion, "Why do you have to say things like that… it's just WRONG."
"Well fell in love Jake, what's so wrong about that?"
"It's not normal…"
"Well I know he's a bit older than me but…"
"That's not what I meant and you know it." Why did Jake suddenly have the feeling of drowning? Talking to John Paul was like trying to drag his way out of quicksand.
"WHAT? You mean because he's another man… news flash Jake… I'm GAY so falling in love with a man IS normal!"
"But Craig isn't… wasn't… just get out of my way."
John Paul giggled drunkenly to himself as he leaned forward. His breath was hot and laced with alcohol as he spoke so quietly that Jake had to lean in himself just to hear the words.
"You know what Jake," John Paul breathed into Jake's ear, "Sometimes I think maybe you were jealous… maybe Craig managed to admit something you've always wanted to… maybe Craig got to DO something you always wanted to… is that it Jake… did you always fancy a bit of man loving yourself? Come on … you can tell me… it won't any further!"
John Paul laughed as Jake pushed him out of the way.
"You're sick McQueen you know that!"
John Paul was still laughing as he walked away. He didn't notice Jake still standing in the pub doorway watching him.
Jake still felt like he was drowning.
He could still feel the heat of John Paul's breath on his skin and the mysterious glint in his eyes.
Jake shook his head as he walked into the pub and tried to ignore the unfamiliar sensations that had raced through his body as John Paul had leant against him.
Jake couldn't sleep. He turned his head to look at Nancy. She looked so peaceful just lying there and so beautiful. Her chest rose and fell with each soft breath and her eyes flickered as a smile played across her lips at some secret dream.
Jake hadn't expected to fall in love again. Not after Becca and certainly not with Becca's kid sister. But falling in love was exactly what he had done. She was strong and beautiful and feisty and a million other things that made her perfect.
So why was it when he closed his eyes all he could see were two hypnotically blue globes staring back at him?
John Paul was still chuckling to himself as he lay in his bed. It was probably very childish to take such pleasure in winding Jake up, but honestly, the bloke was asking for it.
John Paul used to think that Jake was a pretty decent kind of guy. He always seemed fair and honest and of course he always looked out for his little brother. John Paul had often thought that if he'd had an older brother he would have liked one like Jake.
All of that was before John Paul came out. Once he had everything with Jake changed. For some reason he could no longer see John Paul as the same person and John Paul always got the feeling that Jake was wondering if he fancied him. Of course John Paul had only ever had eyes for Jake's brother, not that anyone knew that for a while, but if things had been different… well Jake WAS a pretty good looking fella!
John Paul chuckled as he snuggled himself deeply into his duvet. Him and Jake, just imagine… Hollyoaks would never recover.
John Paul watched himself in the mirror as he washed his hands. His eyes shone brightly and his cheeks had a soft pink flush to them as the fresh intake of alcohol ran warmly through his veins.
He tried to pretend that he had no ulterior motive for wanting to return to the Dog again when most of his friends had opted for the SU Bar. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't hoping to see Jake again, that he hadn't been carefully rehearsing what jibes he might be able to get in next time they met. But as John Paul held his hands under the warm air of the hand dryer he wasn't convinced in the slightest.
The door to the gents opened and Jake strode in. John Paul hid his smile and instead let out a sigh as if annoyed at seeing the man again so soon.
"You again," Jake spat trying not to notice how brightly John Paul's eyes were shining.
"Been missing me Jake?" John Paul replied with a smile.
"Trust me… if I had a shotgun I wouldn't miss."
John Paul pressed a hand against his heart dramatically. "Oh you wound me Jake… and I thought we were friends."
"You're nothing to me McQueen," Jake snarled, his lips curling back to show the whiteness of his teeth, "Just a disgusting little annoyance that won't seem to go away."
"Funny that," John Paul replied walking slowly but deliberately over to the older man, "Coz it seems like it was YOU that followed ME in here."
"I didn't follow you anywhere…" Jake could feel heat rising to his cheeks and he ground his teeth together in frustration.
"No?" John Paul looked around him for a second, "Well you don't seem to be wanting anything else in here… but honestly Jake… following me into the toilets… isn't that a bit tacky? You only had to ask you know."
"You think you're really funny don't you McQueen," Jake growled emphasising the "queen" portion of John Paul's name.
"What do you think I am," John Paul asked stepping a little closer.
"You're nothing but a dirty little queer."
"So why are you still standing here talking to me?" John Paul took another step forward until he was face to face with Jake. "Why is it you haven't taken your eyes off my mouth for the last two minutes?" John Paul leaned forward until his breath was hot against Jake's ear. "And why is it that right now you can't help but wonder what it would feel like to share your bed with another man… but not just ANY other man, right Jake?"
"You're insane."
"But you're not walking away."
Jake's hands grabbed at John Paul's shoulders as he slammed the blonde haired man into the wall forcing the air from his lungs at the sudden impact.
Before John Paul had time to react his breath was stolen from him again as Jake's mouth covered his with a kiss so hard and angry that it almost bruised his lips.
Jake still held John Paul firmly against the wall as his tongue forced his way into John Paul's mouth, tasting and exploring every forbidden inch. He felt possessed as the heat of John Paul's mouth seduced him and he sank deeply into a kiss he had never anticipated sharing.
John Paul slid his hands around the back of Jake's neck and the contact seemed to break the spell.
Jake stepped back shaking his head and wiping at his mouth with his hand.
"What the fuck d'you think you were doing?" He asked accusingly.
John Paul laughed and ran the tip of his tongue over his lips suggestively, tasting the last remnants of Jake that clung there.
Jake almost sprinted from the toilets despite the shaking of his legs and the pounding of his heart. He had no idea how that had just happened but he was damn sure it would never happen again. It had been as if he were captivated and unable to escape, was that what had happened to Craig?
"You know where to find me," John Paul called out after him, "You only have to ask."
The door swung closed and John Paul was left alone. He smiled to himself in satisfaction. He had always known there was more to Jake than the man had ever admitted, John Paul just hadn't realised how much more.
---
John Paul wasn't overly surprised to find a dark figure waiting near the McQueen's front door when he got home and it took all of his effort to hide the smug smile that was desperate to run across his lips.
"No one in?" John Paul asked casually in an enquiry as to why Jake was standing outside.
"I didn't knock," Jake admitted. The last thing he wanted was for anyone else to know he was there.
"So what d'you want?"
"You know…" Jake shuffled his feet uncomfortably. He still didn't know what had possessed him to make the journey over from The Dog. He was risking so much just by being there but something inside him wouldn't rest. He had an itch that wouldn't go away until he scratched it and it seemed that only John Paul knew exactly where that itch was located.
John Paul shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry Jake," He said innocently, "Don't know what you're talking about."
"Stop playing games," Jake grumbled, "You know as well as I do why I'm here."
"Why don't you tell me?" John Paul slipped his key into the door and turned it slowly.
Jake's hand gripped his shoulder and John Paul turned his head to look at the older man.
"John Paul please…" The sight of Jake's eyes pleading with him, Jake's voice begging sent shivers down John Paul's spine knowing that Jake wanted him, knowing the power he suddenly had.
"What is it Jake?" John Paul ran his hand lightly over Jake's arm as he leant into the man's ear, breathing hotly against it. "Just tell me what you want… say it Jake…"
Jake licked his lips nervously. The closeness of John Paul was making him feel very uncomfortable and the heat of John Paul's breath on his neck was making him feel flushed. "John Paul… I…"
"Go on Jake… say the words… you'll feel much better for it… Say "I want you to fuck me John Paul"… say "I want to feel your cock inside me"…"
"I… I want…"
John Paul laughed as he turned back to the door and pushed it open. "Oh well, if you don't really want to."
"I want you to fuck me." Jake's voice was a mere whisper but it still gave John Paul great satisfaction to hear the words from those lips. John Paul was surprised to realise that hearing Jake "homophobia" Dean admit that he wanted him, that he wanted sex with another man, was an incredible turn on.
Entering the McQueen house John Paul stood back as Jake followed him inside. Jake looked around the room nervously.
"Is anyone in?" Jake asked uncertainly.
"Maybe," John Paul teased fully aware that the house was empty, "You'd better get upstairs fast before someone sees you!"
Jake took the stairs two at a time, hesitating at the top until John Paul directed him to the correct room.
John Paul pushed the bedroom door closed behind him and leant against it to watch Jake pace the room. The man's obvious discomfort and uncertainty fed John Paul's arousal until he found it hard to keep his hands to himself but he knew that he would get far more pleasure out of making this last.
"Well?" John Paul looked at Jake with enquiring eyes.
Jake stopped pacing as he looked into those fathomless blue depths. "I don't know what you…"
"Tell me what you want."
"I already did…downstairs…"
John Paul walked forward until he was only inches from Jake. Reaching out a hand he ran it lightly over Jake's chest. "But I want you to tell me again… I want you to beg for it Jake."
"You're enjoying this aren't you?"
John Paul ran his hands over Jake's thighs, squeezing at the flesh as he went. "You'll enjoy it too Jake," He said with a lusty grin, "Believe me you will. Now tell me again."
As he spoke John Paul continued to trace his hands over Jake's trembling body, never pausing long in one place until every inch of the other man was on fire and his jeans stretched uncomfortably over his groin.
"Oh god," Jake closed his eyes as John Paul's hand rested on top of his growing erection, his thumb running lightly over it making it throb desperately. "Please… I want you to… I want you to fuck me."
The words felt so wrong in Jake's mouth but the feel of John Paul's hands on him felt so fight. John Paul slipped down the zip of Jake's jeans and pushed his hand inside. The man was even harder than he had expected and he felt another surge of satisfaction that he had been able to turn Jake on so easily.
"Get your clothes off," John Paul instructed releasing his hold on Jake's cock and stepping back as he pulled his top over his head.
Jake's clothes were quickly dropped in a pile on the floor and he stood naked and expectant in the centre of John Paul's bedroom.
John Paul looked him over slowly, taking in every inch of a body that should have been totally forbidden to him. Returning to Jake he ran his hands over the man's bare chest and down towards his groin.
"Would you like me to suck you Jake?" John Paul licked his lips slowly and suggestively as he spoke.
Jake swallowed hard and nodded as John Paul fell down to his knees.
John Paul's tongue was hot and wet as it licked over the length of Jake's cock, coating its underside with his saliva and the running over its top. The tip of John Paul's tongue probed at the head of Jake's cock, pressing into its sensitive slit and lapping at the drops of precum that glistened there. Jake's legs trembled at the sensations running through his groin and he had to hold onto John Paul's shoulders to stop his knees from buckling.
Parting his lips John Paul sucked the hardened cock deep into his mouth causing Jake to gasp loudly and grip tighter onto John Paul's shoulders.
Taking Jake's cock as deeply as he could John Paul sucked it with fervour, his tongue massaging over its pulsating length as Jake's hips moved slowly driving his cock deeper into John Paul's throat before pulling it out slightly only to plunge back in a second later.
Jake's breathing began to get heavy as he fucked the heat of John Paul's wet mouth. It had never felt so good before and he could feel his balls begin to ache with the need for release.
Sensing that Jake was close to climax John Paul ceased his attentions on the man's cock, letting it fall from his mouth as he got to his feet.
Jake looked into the dark blue of John Paul's eyes with disappointment but John Paul's dark smile let him know that things were far from over.
"Get on the bed," John Paul said, "Now I'm gonna show you what this is really all about."
Jake climbed eagerly onto the bed and sat waiting for John Paul to join him. John Paul shook his head and laughed.
"All fours Jake," John Paul said, "Let's not pretend you don't know how this works eh?"
Jake immediately did as instructed he had long since gotten over the strangeness of the situation, he was acting purely on instinct now and his instincts were telling him that this felt too good to stop.
Pausing for a second to take in the sight of Jake Dean kneeling on his bed waiting for him John Paul subconsciously licked his lips. The truth was that it had been a while since John Paul had gotten any action and he was that horny he would have been prepared to fuck almost anyone. But the fact that it was Jake really was a bonus.
Dropping his jeans to the floor John Paul joined Jake on the bed and knelt behind him.
His hands were hot as they stroked Jake's back running down to the soft firmness of his buttocks. John Paul squeezed at that rounded flesh kneading it with his hands, parting it to reveal that small puckered, and John Paul assumed virgin, opening hidden inside.
Jake gasped with pleasured surprise as he felt the heat of John Paul's tongue pressing between his buttocks, circling firmly around his anus. How could something that he knew to be so wrong feel so good? Jake's fingers curled into the duvet as he closed his eyes and gave in to the insistent pressure of John Paul's tongue.
John Paul lapped greedily at the opening he soon planned to possess enjoying the confused grunts of pleasure that rumbled low in Jake's throat. Slipping his finger into the dampness of his mouth John Paul moistened it with saliva before pressing it into Jake's tight entrance.
Jake tensed at the sudden intrusion into his body as a moment of doubt and uncertainty gripped him.
"Relax," John Paul coaxed, "Trust me, this will feel so fucking good in a second you won't want it to stop."
Taking a deep breath Jake gave in to the push of John Paul's finger and, after a moment's discomfort, he was rewarded with the rush of pleasure that John Paul had promised. Soon a second finger and then third were pushed inside him, moving slowly and deeply until they stimulated every inch of his body with fire. Jake couldn't help but wonder if John Paul's fingers felt that good how much better would his cock feel.
With his fingers ploughing deep into Jake's hot body John Paul used his other hand to stroke slowly over the length of his own cock. It throbbed heavily in his hand and he could hardly wait to plunge it deep inside the man on his bed. Fucking Jake was never something he had seriously thought about before and now that he had the chance John Paul intended to enjoy every second of it.
Slipping his fingers from the grip of Jake's flesh John Paul pressed the head of his cock against that hot hungry hole that wanted him inside.
Circling his hips John Paul teased Jake's opening, pressing against it but not actually entering, as much as he wanted to fuck Jake he wanted Jake to ask for it more.
Jake bit down on his lip in frustration. As much as he didn't want to want this, his body ached for John Paul to be inside it and for some reason John Paul seemed to be resisting.
"What are you doing?" Jake asked breathlessly.
"Something wrong Jake?" John Paul asked pushing against him a little harder, but still not hard enough.
"Why have you stopped? Why aren't you…"
"You want it Jake… you've gotta ask for it… no beg for it… come on Jake… beg the queer to fuck you, you know you want me to."
"Fuck you," Jake snarled.
"Oh Jake if you're not gonna play nice maybe we should just forget it." As he spoke John Paul pulled back from the heat of Jake's body until the tip of his cock was barely touching against Jake's body.
"No wait…" Jake pushed himself backwards in an attempt to force John Paul into him.
"Ask for it Jake, that's all you have to do… just ask."
"Please…" Jake's voice shook with pent up frustration and lust, "Please do it…"
"Do what Jake?"
"Fuck me, please just fuck me… please I…"
Jake's words were cut short as John Paul's thrust his cock forward, hard and fast, slamming into Jake's tender flesh without mercy.
Jake cried out with shock at the sudden pain but John Paul didn't care as he plunged deep inside the body of the man who had always put him down.
"Relax," John Paul said without sympathy, "This is what you've been wanting for long enough so just relax and enjoy it."
As the initial pain subsided Jake felt the pleasure of John Paul's cock filling him, pushing deeply inside him and stretching his body in a way he had never experience. As the younger man thrust into him Jake gasped with surprise at the sudden unexpected rush through his body when John Paul's cock grazed against the part deep inside him that had never been touched before.
"Oh god," Jake said with a shaky voice.
"I told you that you'd like it," John Paul replied smugly, "I knew you'd like getting fucked."
Jake's cock hung heavily between his legs, neglected and hard. Jake raised one hand to it and began to stroke himself in time to the hard thrusts of John Paul behind him.
"Allow me," John Paul offered as he brushed the older man's hand away and took a firm hold on his throbbing cock.
John Paul closed his eyes as he increased his speed. He rammed his cock as hard and fast into Jake as he could manage, gripping the man's cock tightly and running his hand over its length, pushing the foreskin over its head and then pulling it back to smear the drops of precum along it.
Fucking Jake felt incredible. But it wasn't just the sex. It wasn't just knowing that no other cock had ever been inside him before. It was knowing that he was fucking Jake. John Paul felt like he was fucking the smugness right off his face and, as he closed his eyes, an image of Nancy came to mind spurring John Paul on even more.
His forehead glistened with sweat as he fucked Jake hard, he could feel the pressure of his climax building and the thought of coming inside Jake excited him beyond measure.
Jake's cock was throbbing heavily in his hand and John Paul knew that it wouldn't be long before the man came, he knew it wouldn't be long before this was all over.
"Oh god, god I shouldn't be doing this," Jake whispered as John Paul's cock hit deep inside him time and time again, the pleasure shooting through his flesh making his cock tremble with the need for release.
Jake's doubt spurred John Paul on, he drove his cock harder into the hot tight body that gripped him until he could hold back no longer. Yelling out an animalistic cry John Paul thrust forward as his climax poured from him and he came deep inside Jake, pushing into him again and again until the last drops of his orgasm had poured into the man.
Jake's breaths were coming in short gasps as John Paul came inside him as John Paul's tight grip finally gave him the satisfaction he had craved for hours.
"Oh fuck," he cried out as his climax spilled from his cock, covering John Paul's hand with its sticky heat.
John Paul slipped back until he was sitting on his feet and his rapidly deflating cock slid from the grip of Jake's body.
Jake collapsed onto the bed, breathless, satisfied and very quickly filled with regret and shame.
He jumped from the bed and, quickly gathering his clothes, Jake pulled them onto his body.
"That shouldn't have happened," he said quickly, "I don't know what the fuck you think you're playing at…"
Jake's eyes flashed darkly at John Paul. "You fucking faggot," he spat before racing from the room.
John Paul fell back on his bed with laughter. "Déjà vu," he chuckled to himself.
---
John Paul wasn't an especially malicious person. He wasn't one for seeking out revenge or deliberately hurting other people. He didn't usually revel in other peoples discomfort and he didn't usually try to cause that discomfort. But then most people weren't Jake Dean. Most people hadn't looked down on him like he was a piece of filth since he first came out. And most people hadn't made it so difficult for Craig to do the same that he ended up unable to do it.
Walking slowing into the Dog the next evening John Paul felt a warm glow about him. He knew what he was planning was at the least cruel and possibly much worse than that but he couldn't help himself. Jake Dean deserved everything he got.
The pub was filling up quickly and John Paul walked to the bar with a smile. Jake was serving and he visibly blanched when he saw the young blonde man approaching. His eyes flicked to one side and John Paul followed his gaze to see Nancy sat at a table. His smiled deepened.
"Hey Jake," John Paul called out loudly enough for the whole bar to hear, "You left something in my bed last night."
Pulling his hand from his jacket John Paul threw something over the bar. It hit Jake in the face and fell to the floor. Jake stood frozen to the spot, his boxer shorts by his feet where John Paul had just thrown them and a flush rising to his cheeks.
Nancy had jumped to her feet and now stood staring at her boyfriend with puzzlement written over her face.
"And you know what Jake," John Paul continued, "You were a crap shag, your brother was much better."
All eyes were fixed on him and for once John Paul didn't care. And then he realised that actually all eyes were looking at a spot just behind him.
"I'm glad to hear it," a familiar voice said behind John Paul's back.
John Paul turned in slow motion, his breath catching in his throat. "Craig?"
"I came back for you," Craig said his face impassive, "I didn't expect you to have moved on so quickly… and especially not with my own brother." Craig's eyes flicked between his ex-boyfriend and his brother. "Well, John Paul? Jake? Something you'd like to tell me?"
Jake's mouth moved silently as he tried to find the words. "I never… he didn't…" Jake looked around the room for support but found non. "I'm not gay."