Author's Note: This fic is based on a song off of Destiny's Child's new CD, Survivor. The song is called Emotions, and I think it's really sweet. Parts of the song are in italics. Hope you like it! ^^ It's a Mimato! Enjoy!
Emotions
It's over and done,
but the heartache lives on inside
And who is the one you're clinging to,
instead of me tonight?
Mimi Tachikawa lay perfectly still in her room, in her cold, dark apartment. She didn't want to get up, or move, because she knew that would just make everything worse. Although, through the loss of the one she loved the most, she dare not cry. She promised to herself, and silently to Matt Ishida, that she wouldn't cry.
A few weeks back, Matt told Mimi that he and Sora were getting married. Unluckily for Mimi, that was the last thing on earth she wanted to ever hear. The one thing she never thought possible was coming true. And so she lay there, as the cold, autumn winds blew in her room, and circled the fire that was lit at the other end. The room smelled of flowers, fragrances and burned papers and items. Everything Matt had ever given her, was thrown into the fire to burn for all eternity. Although she had many things to cry about, she dare not shed a tear.
And where are you now? Now that I need you
Tears on my pillow, wherever you go
Cry me a river, that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart
Usually her room, and house was always bright and cheerful. You'd smile just by looking at it, but not today. She turned off all the lights, appliances, and even the heater. She didn't want anything to disturb her train of thought.
That day, Mimi was supposed to go over to Sora's to help her pick out bridesmaid dresses. She'd rather go to hell, then go over to Sora's. She had suddenly grown jealousy towards the red-head for stealing Matt away from her. The answering machine clicked on, and a monotone voice rang:
"There are 5 new messages. Would you like to play them?"
Mimi slowly moved her hand over to the play button. She pressed it, and dropped her hand on the receiver, as the messages played.
Friday, 2 pm. "Hey Mimi, this is Sora. Weren't you supposed to come over earlier? I'll keep waiting, though. Bye."
Friday, 2:45 pm "This is Sora again. Just to tell you, if you aren't here by 3, I'll have to leave without you. Later."
Friday, 3pm "A-"
Mimi turned the machine off and groaned, "Why doesn't she just leave? I wasn't planning on going anywhere with her anyway."
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotions taking me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in the soul.
And if you don't come back, come home to me darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, Goodnight
She slowly looked back at the ceiling. Visions of his face appeared. She wasn't so thrilled of being reminded of him anyway. She wished she hadn't even met him, if she knew this was going to happen eventually. How…could he just dump me like that? Why did he have to… She stopped in mid-thought, and covered her eyes, oppressively. She felt like not seeing anything, or not seeing anyone. Especially not him. Hey Mimi, a voice in her head rang. Remember all those memories with you and Matt in high school?
"I miss them…so much." She muttered, to herself.
They were good memories, and you can't let them go. That might be all you have to keep of him. They're a part of you, and you should accept that. Just like how he's a part of you too, and you're a part of him.
She grumbled, slightly. He doesn't need me anymore. He's already got someone else. The phone rang. She looked at the phone, fearfully. "If she calls me one more time, I swear I'm going to kill her…" She reached over to the phone cord, and pulled it out. Just then, her cell started ringing. In frustration and anger, she picked it up and threw it against the wall, causing it to snap in half, and fall apart. She collapsed back on her bed, as a single tear rolled down her face. "…I'm not supposed to cry…" She tried to wipe away her tears, but they wouldn't stop falling. "…I'm sorry…"
I'm there at your side
A part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've gotta go find your own shining star
She was hungry, starving, in fact. She got up and walked to the kitchen, searching for something, anything, to eat. She might as well forget about him, because there was no way he was going to come back. She forced herself to smile, but soon dropped it. She rummaged through the kitchen, for awhile, but realized that there wasn't anything edible in her house.
Suddenly, the door bell rang. She figured it was Sora who wanted to ask where she was, or show her the bridesmaid dress she picked out. She walked back in her room, and grabbed her thick, woven blanket. It was getting colder in her apartment by the minute, and the floor felt like ice. She chained the door yet opened it slowly. She stared outside into the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen.
"…Matt?"
And where are you now? Now that I need you
Tears on my pillow, wherever you go
Cry me a river, that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart
She stared at him, with her eyes open, for some time. I can't believe it…has he actually come back to me? She was paralyzed and couldn't seem to move a muscle. She was completely frozen.
"…Mimi, can I come in?" he asked, quietly.
"…sure." She said, uneasily, taking the chain off. She opened the door wide, as he stepped inside, both hands in pockets. She closed the door behind her. I wonder what could bring him here. I can't let him see me like this. He can't see how…utterly depressed I am. "…listen, if this is about Sora, I'm really sorry-"
"It has nothing to do with the dress." He sighed.
"..oh." She muttered, sitting down beside him. "Then…why are you here?"
"I could always talk to you about these kinds of things," He said.
"What kinds?"
"…feelings. Those kinds of things I could never understand because I'm too deliberative." Matt nodded. "I needed to ask someone for help."
"Sure I can help you," Mimi replied, softly. "But why couldn't you ask Sora?" The name still made her shiver.
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotions taking me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in the soul.
And if you don't come back, come home to me darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight.
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.
Goodnight, Goodnight
Matt sighed, "…Sora's the person I need to ask someone else about. …you see, I don't really think I have the same feelings for her like I used to in college."
"…why not?" Mimi asked. She couldn't believe what she was saying. Why not? She'd been killing herself softly, and hating on Sora for the past 5 days, and now she's asking him why he doesn't want to be with her anymore. …I don't want to be selfish. I just want him to be happy.
"…she's changed." He began. "She used to be a sweet person, always caring about everyone and everything…but ever since I've asked her if she wanted to get married, she's been…I dunno…selfishly absorbed in her own life. Do you know why she would act that way?"
"…I've known Sora for a long time," Mimi nodded. "She probably…just feels pressured and seems forced into this, even though this is her own decision."
Matt glanced at her for a few times, "…I also want to know why I don't love her anymore."
"…do you feel anything when you're around her?"
"…not really."
"Do you feel uncomfortable, like if you're in a public place with no one you know around you?" Mimi asked.
"Sometimes." Matt replied.
"It's her attitude change. She'll grow out of it."
"Even if, it's not like my feelings are going to come back."
She stared into his eyes again. She could see that he was easily confused by most of this. She smiled, "…I'm sure everything will be fine."
He smiled, slightly, as well, but didn't try to look at her.
"…between both of you, of course." Her smile soon faded. Matt noticed instantly and turned to face her.
And where are you now? Now that I need you
Tears on my pillow, wherever you go
Cry me a river, that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart
A single tear rolled down her face, as she covered her face in her hands. "I'm sorry about this, I really am…it's just that…" She sobbed, quietly.
"What?" He asked, softly, wrapping his arms around her.
She buried her face in his chest, and sighed, "…nothing. I'll be okay."
"Are you sure? You don't look very well."
"I'll be fine." No I won't. Tell him the truth. Suffering from a broken heart should be easier than this. Usually ice cream cures it, but this is a serious impact that can not be healed so easily. "…Matt…you'd understand if I tell you the truth, wouldn't you?"
"You'd understand more if I tell you what I haven't told you yet." Matt smiled.
"…sure."
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotions taking me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in the soul.
And if you don't come back, come home to me darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight.
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.
Goodnight…
"…there was this one day in high school. The first day that I began to lose you."
"Matt, you never lost me." She said.
"It seemed that way. It was the first day Sora came into my life-" Mimi shuddered, slightly. Matt looked up at her, "…I can tell you're starting to hate her."
"I am not. Continue." Mimi lied.
"Anyway, a few weeks ago when I asked her if she wanted to get married, it was only after that I realized what a big mistake I had made. I didn't know how to get out of it. I thought it would've been okay, and so I kept believing that. It was wrong. I was wrong. She became more obsessive over me, more concerned about herself. She had totally changed into a different person only someone close to her would've known. I admit, I never paid her much attention as a child, but during my first year of college, my attention grew for her, and so had my interest. But it's all faded away. I'm not saying that I hate her, it's just that the person she's turned into, is a different person, someone I've never known before. I don't love her anymore."
This all came as a sudden shock to Mimi. After she'd realized she'd been depressed over nothing, she became to feel shameful. She sniffed, as tears welled up in her eyes. "…Matt…I…I'm so sorry about that. I never thought it would be like that for you and Sora."
"It was." He sighed, getting up. "Hey Mimi, I'm still glad I can talk to you about these things."
She smiled, wiping away her tears, "Anytime."
He got up, and began to head for the door. He gave her a quick smile before he left.
Mimi smiled herself, and for the first time in 5 days, she opened the curtain, as the sun flooded the room. She ran to the door, and opened it. She hollered down the hallway, "Matt! I love you!"
Matt stopped in his tracks and turned around. He smiled back, "I love you, too," And he kept walking, down the other end stairwell.
Mimi shut the door, and walked over to her room. She lay down again, this time, smiling to herself.
Goodnight…
********
That was it!! ^^ I think it was very touching. The song, and the fic. I love that song on the album, it's so nice…if I had a chance to let you guys hear it, I would! ^^ Whoever's heard it, you know what I'm talking about. Anyhow, please review if you liked it! Thanks again!