Before I start blabbing about how I was all inspired and everything for this fic, I have one note: THE JUNE WRITER/READER REVERSAL ENDS TODAY AT MIDNIGHT. PLEASE CHECK OUR BIO FOR DETAILS, AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SUBMIT!! Thanks.
Actually, I've got no time to blab about this, because Mom says we're going to leave in about two minutes and I'm not ready. So, just know the characters are a bit OOC, this fic was thought up while Arashi and I were washing Mom's car, it's kind of based off a book (see if you can guess which one!), and ARASHI AND I JUST GRADUATED FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! POWER TO THE CLASS OF 2008!! GO FRESHMEN!!
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It's A Lot Of Fun!
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"Isn't it beautiful, Shuichi?""Of course, Mother." Kurama stood outside, staring at the shiny new red minivan his human mother had just bought. Why had she bought it? To make a good story—I mean, uh...she felt like it.
"It gets great mileage!" Shiori said, running her hand lovingly over the hood of the car. Kurama didn't want to spoil her fun, but a minivan? There were only two of them, after all (this is before Kazuya and the other Shuuichi)...for Inari's sake, why something so big?!
"What about the price of gasoline, Mother?" His mother waved a hand absentmindedly.
"That's no matter," she mumbled, "Look at how shiny it is! I can see my reflection!"
"Of course, Mother."
At the beginning of Week One, the shiny new red minivan was...shiny and new. At the end of Week One, Shiori had driven it to a couple places (only everywhere she went—gotta love the new red minivans!) and her reflection wasn't so visible. By the end of Week Two, there was a light layer of dirt over the shinyness, and by the end of Week Three, it was just plain ugly—I mean dirty.
Kurama was doing his homework one evening (how he hated the stuff!) towards the beginning of the Fourth Week when there was a knock on his door.
"Oh, Shuichi, would you like to do something for me?"
Anything to get away from the homework! thought "Shuichi". "Anything for you, Mother."
"Well, the minivan needs washing, and I thought if you weren't busy—"
On second thought, bring on the homework. He sighed. "I'll get right to it, Mother."
And that was how Shuichi Minamino, a.k.a. [Yoko] Kurama, came to be standing in his driveway with a hose, a sponge, a bucket of soapy water, and a dirty red minivan.
This was ridiculous. Why should he, the greatest thief in all of Makai, have to wash a minivan? It was unheard of!
(It was really his own fault that he was stuck doing something he really didn't want to do, because he could have just said "NO" to Shiori, but he did that once, and...well, that's another story and shall be told another time.)
Sighing, he turned the hose on and began spraying the car down. He really didn't want to do this...
The moment he sensed a different energy, his mind switched from "I don't want to do this why am I doing this" mode to "I wonder how I can get out of this" mode, and he began to formulate a plan...
Hiei was in a very bad mood.
I HATE EVERYTHING, he thought angrily, I'M GOING TO GO VISIT KURAMA SO I CAN TELL HIM HOW MUCH I HATE EVERYTHING!! His reasoning made perfect sense, as always. Misery loves company, and so does an angry Hiei.
When Hiei arrived at the Minamino household, he noticed Kurama wasn't in his room. Rather, he was in the driveway, happily scrubbing away at a dirty red minivan and whistling.
"Good morning, Hiei," Kurama said happily, as Hiei landed in the driveway.
"What are you doing that could put you in such a damn good mood?" Hiei asked sourly. The fact that Kurama was in a good mood and he was not did not go well with the little fire demon.
"I'm washing Mother's car," Kurama replied cheerfully, "It's a lot of fun!" Hiei snorted.
"I'm not in the mood for fun."
"It's also a good outlet for anger," Kurama ad-libbed, sensing Hiei's angry mood, "You just scrub and scrub all your angers away!" Hiei, despite all appearances, was actually interested.
"Really?"
"Of course. Tell you what, I'd be willing to let you use this great anger- relief method for a price..."
"What kind of a price?"
"What do you have?"
And that was how Kurama came to own a nuclear bomb, stolen directly from the terrorists in Iraq.
So angry Hiei was angrily scrubbing away at the car, and not-really-happy- but-happier-now-that-he-had-someone-to-share-the-work-with Kurama was not- really-happy-but-happier-now-that-he-had-someone-to-share-the-work-with-ly washing as well, when along came Yusuke!
"Hello, Yusuke!" said Kurama (Hiei was too busy letting his anger out to say hi), "What are you doing on this fine summer day?"
"Hiding from Keiko," Yusuke responded promptly, "She made me promise to go to the movies with her, and I don't want to! What are you doing?"
"Washing Mother's car," Kurama explained.
"Why are you doing that?" Yusuke asked.
"To let out my anger," Hiei offered savagely.
"It's a lot of fun." Suddenly, Kurama got another idea. "If you wash the car, you could hide from Keiko."
"That sounds great!" Yusuke exclaimed, and reached for a sponge.
"There is a price, though," Kurama admitted slowly. Yusuke quickly dropped the sponge and dug around in his pockets.
"Let's see, what do I have..."
And that was how Kurama came to own a pack of cigarettes, stolen directly from Atsuko.
The work was going much faster when suddenly, Kuwabara appeared!
"Hey, guys, look who I have!" He held out Eikichi, "Isn't he cuuuuute?" Most of them ignored him. "What are you doing?"
"Washing Mother's car."
"Why?" Kuwabara was confused.
"To let out my anger."
"To hide from Keiko."
"Plus, it's a lot of fun," Kurama added, "Besides, Yukina likes men who wash cars."
"Really?! Then let me help! YUUKIIIIINA!!!!"
"But there's one little catch..."
And that was how Kurama came to own Eikichi, stolen from...uh...Kuwabara?
This went on for a while when lo and behold, who should show up but Keiko and Yukina!
"YUSUKE!" Keiko exclaimed, heading over to him, "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Washing Kurama's car," Yusuke replied, knowing full well that if he told Keiko the real reason he was there, he'd get slapped.
"It's not my—"
"Why are you doing that?" Yukina asked.
"To let out my anger."
"To hide from Keiko."
"Yusuke! You promised you'd go to the movies with me!" Keiko looked as if she was about to slap him.
"You can keep an eye on Yusuke if you stay and help," Kurama said, ignoring Yusuke's angry protestations.
"Can I help, too?" Yukina asked.
"Sure you can, Yukina!" Kuwabara popped up from the other side of the car, "All you have to do is pay Kurama something!"
"Pay?" Yukina's eyes welled up with tears. "But I don't have any money..."
And that was how Kurama came to own a couple Hiruseki stones.
With five people washing the red minivan, Kurama felt he didn't really have to help any more. Especially when the Shinobi showed up and became convinced (with a little help from him) that washing the car was a special form of training.
And that was how Kurama earned five cloaks, which the Shinobi had worn for the Dark Tournament, and an ice cube, courtesy of Touya.
Kurama's plan was working out better than he had hoped: not only did he not have to wash the car, he now had a nuclear bomb, a pack of cigarettes, a kitten, a couple Hiruseki stones, five cloaks, an ice cube, a six-pack of beer and a bag of yo-yos (Chu and Rinku had shown up).
Life was good.
There were twelve people washing the now-clean minivan when Koenma showed up.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Washing Kurama's car!"
"It's not my car!"
"Yes it is."
"Why?" Koenma was confused.
"To let out my anger."
"To hide from Keiko!"
"Yusuke, I'm right here."
"I knew that."
"To train!"
"I still don't get how washing a minivan is training..."
"Nobody asked you to get it, Touya."
"Risho, stop being so mean!"
"Because Yukina likes men who wash cars!"
"I do?"
"Of course you do, sweetums."
"Oh."
"Plus it's a lot of fun," Kurama cut in before Chu and Rinku had a chance to contribute, "Why are you here?"
"I'm avoiding my princely duties," Koenma stated proudly, "If I help you wash your car, it'll look like I'm doing something!"
"It's not my—" Kurama started to say, but Koenma ignored him and grabbed a sponge.
"Wait a second!" Yusuke cut in, "How come Koenma didn't have to pay?"
And that was how Kurama came to own a pacifier and Jorge's contract.
Thirteen's an unlucky number, and unlucky for Kurama, a certain person decided now would be a good time to make an entrance.
"Hello, Kurama."
"Goodbye, Karasu."
"What are you doing?"
"Washing Kurama's car!" Everyone chimed in.
"It's not my—"
"Of course it is, Kurama, you don't know what you're talking about," Karasu said, "Why are you all washing it?"
"To let out my anger."
"To hide from Keiko!"
"To slap Yusuke whenever he says something stupid, like now." Slap.
"Ow!"
"That's your own fault, dimwit."
"Genkai, when did you get here!?"
"I never did."
"I knew that."
"To train!"
"Bakken's doing too much training, P.U.!"
"I agree with Risho."
"I agree with the greasy pot of grease. Also known as Risho."
"Hey!"
"Because Yukina likes men who wash cars!"
"I do?"
"Of course you do, sweetums, we went over this before"
"We did?"
"Of course we did, sweetums."
"Oh."
"Plus, it's a lot of fun!" Kurama said out of habit, once again interrupting Chu and Rinku.
"You know what I think is a lot of fun?" Karasu asked.
"Yes, and I don't like it," Kurama responded.
"Let me show you."
"NO!"
"Oh, come on, it can be my payment."
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!! AT ALL!! GO AWAY!!" At this point, Yusuke's Spirit Gun flew over the top of the red minivan to hit Karasu and propel him up, up, and away!, where he vanished with a little sparkle in the sky.
(If you want to know how that happened, Yusuke was about to shoot Risho for contaminating the soapy water with grease (Risho said it was from the wheel, but we all know better than that) but due to the sudden gust of wind that came out of nowhere (no thanks to Jin, who happened to be trying to dry his side of the minivan at the exact same moment), the bullet was propelled over the car and into Karasu. (That's what's known as a "coincidence", because there are no real accidents in fanfiction. Remember that.))
"How did Karasu get here?" Kurama asked Koenma, "I thought I killed him."
"So that's where his soul went," Koenma muttered.
When Botan arrived, the minivan was so clean it was sparkly, but people were still cleaning because they did not feel fulfilled yet.
"Hello, everyone!" Botan exclaimed cheerfully, "What are you doing?"
"Washing Kurama's car!"
"It's not my car, I told you already!"
"Yes it is. You don't know what you're talking about, Kurama."
"GO AWAY, KARASU."
"No." At this point, another well-timed Spirit Gun from Yusuke sent Karasu flying into the sky to disappear with a sparkle once again (Karasu's blasting off again!!).
"Why are you washing his car?"
"It's not my—"
"Yes it is."
"KARASU—" Karasu decided to leave before another one of Yusuke's "accidental" Spirit Guns forced him to "blast off again!"
"Anyway, I am washing the car to let out my anger."
"To hide from Keiko!"
"Yusuke, I am right in front of you."
"Just checking; I knew that."
"To train!"
"WASHING A MINIVAN IS NOT TRAINING! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU?!"
"Touya, shut up."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"You shut up, Risho."
"Because Yukina loves men who wash cars!"
"But Kazuma, I never knew that about myself."
"Well, you do sweetums."
"Oh. That's nice...to know."
"Avoiding my princely duties!" Koenma cut in, completely out of order.
"Koenma, sir!" Jorge appeared out of nowhere, "You've been a bad boy!"
"Shut up, Ogre."
"Okay." Jorge then disappeared.
"Plus, it's a lot of fun." Kurama added, cutting off Chu and Rinku once again.
"Fun? I love fun!" Thrusting her oar into Kurama's hands, she grabbed the hose and turned it on.
And that was how everyone became soaking wet, the car went from sparkly to rainbowy because the sun was shining on it and it was wet, everyone decided to leave, and Kurama came to own Botan's oar.
Good thing everyone left, because Shiori decided to come outside the moment after they'd all left.
"Wow, Shuichi!" she gasped, "The car is so clean, it's shiny! No, it's sparkly—no, it's rainbowy! How did you get it so clean?" Kurama shrugged.
"Hard work, Mother."
"I'm so proud of you." She gave him a hug. "Here, have some milk and cookies for your effort." Out of nowhere, she produced a big glass of milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies (which everyone loves!).
At this point, everyone who had left decided now was a good time to come out, so they all came out of the bushes where they'd been hiding, mobbed Kurama and his mother, stole the cookies and milk as their payment for helping, and left.
Shiori blinked.
"That was...odd." Kurama entirely agreed. "Well, let's go out and get some ice cream to celebrate the rainbowy car!"
So they got in the rainbowy-red minivan and drove off into the sunset.
But in getting to the Sunset (which was actually the name of the ice cream place), Shiori accidently drove through a large puddle of mud.
...but that's another story and shall be told another time.