Hi! I hope you like this fic made by me and my friends. This is the cast:
Part-Time Worker Mary: Famine
Garnet: Owa
Zidane: Shinji
Kuja: Relm (Skuld)
Beatrix: Owa
Audience: Seifer
We brought this play as a copout of Jerry Springer to you, made possible by The Pale
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hello! Welcome to the Part-Time Worker Mary show! We're talking to women who are having MANY affairs on MANY people. Meet Garnet.
Audience: Oooooh!
Garnet: Hi, Mary *waves*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hi! What's your story?
Garnet: Well..I've been going out with this guy for a while now. He's sweet, cute, and uh..a tad horny..*sweatdrops*. And I brought him here today to hell him a few secrets.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oooh. Spicey secrets?
Garnet: Yes.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oooh. How exciting. Let's bring out your boyfriend. Here's Zidane!
Zidane: -Walks out,and looks around and waves at the crowd.Heads next to Garnet and looks at Mary and whistles-Looking good there Mary! ^_~
Part-Time Worker Mary: Well aren't you just the Casanova. Garnet has something to tell you, Romeo.
Zidane: Hmm? -Turns to Garnet- If it's about the whips and chains in my closet...um..Someone putted them there..
Part-Time Worker Mary: Whips and chains, huh? I don't wanna know what they do in their spare time. *winks at audience*
Audience: Ooooh!
Garnet: *giggles nervously* Actually, it's not about that ^_^;;
Zidane: Ehehehe ^_^;
Part-Time Worker Mary: What do you want to tell him, Garnet?
Garnet: Well..
Zidane: Well..Garney -puts his arm around her shoulder-You can tell me anything!
Garnet: As nice as you are...I have...been cheating on you.
Audience: Oooh!
Zidane: -Gets up from his chair and throws it nearly hitting Mary-Wha..what!?!?! With who!?!? Who's the damn guy!? Do i know him!?
Garnet: Actually..you kinda do.
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Let's bring this 'surprise guest' out!
Audience: Yay! *claps*
Zidane: -Falls to his knees-...I like saved your kingdom..-Gets up with fire in his eyes-Bring out the little %$#$^&
Kuja: *Charges through back door, smashing the door down with an axe twice his size* WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?!?!?!
Kuja: Garney-baby! *Sits beside her, reaching hand behind her chair and grabbing her fine ass* ^_~ *Coughs and pulls back hand* Why am I here?
Zidane: -Looks at Kuja-..Him!!?!?
Kuja: *Looks at Zidane disguistedly* Eww, what's this biznatch doing here?
Garnet: Well..*points to Zidane* I've been cheating you..with him. *turns to Zidane* And I've been cheating on you with him.
Zidane: Garnet..I thought you were only into guys..
Part-Time Worker Mary: As I understand it, you two are brothers, am I right?
Kuja: Yes, we are.
Zidane: Sadly..yes..
Kuja: He's a poor excuse for a brother if you ask me. Hell, he doesn't even wear a thong.
Zidane: Well..atleast I have a penis.
Kuja: Thongs are SO in, not wussy pants!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Kuja, do you not have male genitalia?
Kuja: I do.
Garnet: Yes he does ^_^;
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oh really? How big is it?
Part-Time Worker Mary: I mean UHM!
Zidane: -Coughs-
Zidane: Well..Mary..my so called "bro" is nothing but a wussy..
Kuja: Excuse me?!
Zidane: HELL, he wears make up!
Zidane: And a thong!
Zidane: C'mon now..
Kuja: *Stands up and throws bag of cosmetics at Zidane*
Zidane: He makes a sexier woman than me!
Kuja: Zidane, dear brother, your attempts in sainthood has failed. Thongs are in; chicks dig men with thongs and makeup. Not fluffy pants and white collars. That was SO last week.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay, Garnet, what do you have to say about this?
Zidane: ...Atleast I have a penis.
Kuja: And, seeing as I am aware of how envious and jealous you are of my outstand beauty, you may want to shut up.
Kuja: I have one. Unlike some blonde-haired freaks.
Garnet: First of all..both of you, please be quiet.
Kuja: Yes, Garney-poo!
Zidane: What was that!!?
Part-Time Worker Mary: You heard her. Shut your traps before I open a can of whup-girly butt.
Kuja: *Whispers to Zidane* Dumb Blonde.
Zidane: -Gets his chair and throws it at Kuja-
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Garnet: I said...BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE &*$*# UP!
Zidane: You stupid #%@%$#
Kuja: *Dodges chair and whispers to Zidane* Dumb Blonde.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Stop fighting this instant! Garnet has something to tell you both.
Audience: Oooh! Mary! Mary! Mary!
Kuja: Yes ma'am.
Zidane: -Bitch slaps Kuja then he sits down-
Garnet: Anyways..I have another secret to reveal to both of you.
Kuja: *Sits down and listens intentely to Garnet*
Zidane: -Looks at her-..What else?
Kuja: Yes, Garney-poo?
Garnet: Well...I've been cheating on both of you..again..
Kuja: WHAT?!
Zidane: .....
Kuja: You've been cheating on.. m-me?!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Let's bring out the fourth wheel!
Kuja: Of all people! Who could be more beautiful than me?! And why would you want someone? Didn't you say I was all that you wanted in a guy?!
Kuja: I need answers, damn it!
Kuja: Err, I meant someone else.
Zidane: -Looks at Kuja-Shut up!..Since when did you starting thinking your better than me!
Beatrix: *comes charging out of the back room dragging a bloody security guard in one hand and Save the Queen in another* Garney!
Kuja: Since the day you were born.
Audience: Booooo!
Zidane: What the #$%^!?!?
Kuja: *Gasps and kicks Beatrix* Stay away from my Garnet!
Zidane: Beatrix!?
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hi Beatrix. You're known throughout the land as the Slut of Alexandria. You're even sleeping with the Princess?
Beatrix: Damn right, I am!
Kuja: GARNET!
Beatrix: And she likes it too!
Garnet: Eheheh. ^_^;;
Zidane: Dagger!?
Kuja: I thought you loved me! *Glares back and forth at the two with teary eyes*
Garnet: Well..she is supposed to protect me ^_^;
Garnet: I do I do!
Part-Time Worker Mary: You got a secret for them, though, don't you Be a bitch...I mean Beatrix?
Beatrix: Yes..protect you in my own special way *grins*
Beatrix: Yes.
Garnet: WHAA?
Beatrix: Well, Mary. First of all..I am a man.
Kuja: ....!
Garnet: ................
Audience: Oooo!
Zidane: ....
Garnet: But but but but...you have a penis!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *giggles* Tell us something we DON'T know.
Kuja: *Grabs Silver Dragon plushie and throws at Beatrix* You... you CROSSDRESSER!
Beatrix: Sex changes exist, baby.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Now hold on a minute.
Beatrix: Well..atleast I look damn good as a woman unlike SOME PEOPLE
Audience: Oooh! Mary! Mary! Mary!
Zidane: Beatrix..what about Rusty!?!?
Beatrix: What about him? He sleeping with that Quina thing.
Part-Time Worker Mary: As I understand it, you were born a man, then changed female, then reverted back to male. How does that go?
Zidane: I thought both of you had the hots for each other!
Kuja: You biznatch! *Bitch slaps Beatrix*
Zidane: You %^&%$#% She-man!
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Kuja: And you! *Bitch slaps Garnet, too* Nobody loves me.. *Sulks in chair depressingly*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Now shut up both of you. *takes out a sniper rifle* One more word out of ANYONE but Beatrix up there and I blow your head off, got me?
Kuja: ...*Nods*
Garnet: ... *does the same*
Beatrix: Well...Being born a male was rather - how should I say this? - boring. Besides, women are hot. So one day, I found a big bag of cotton *points to breasts* and I do have a sword..soo..you know.
Beatrix: And poof..I was one sexy bitch.
Kuja: *Grabs peice of paper and a pen from audience, and writes the word "YOU BITCH-ASS SLUT" in big, black letters and hands it to Beatrix*
Beatrix: Bring it, GIRL.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oh. Okay. Well, Garnet. Who are you gonna stay with?
Kuja: *Coughs*
Kuja: *Cries and gives Garnet puppy dog eyes*
Kuja: *Raises hand* Excuse me...
Zidane: Damnit Dagger..I know you get around alot..but DAMN..
Zidane: I was your savior!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *shoots Zidane in the leg*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I said no TALKING bitch!
Kuja: *Raises hand and coughs again*
Garnet: C-Can't I have all three of them? I enjoy Zidane's sexual energy..*cough*, and Kuja's just sexy as hell..and Beatrix is umm..pretty good..
Garnet: So I was wondering, can't I keep them all? I mean..I h-heard groupies are fun.
Kuja: *Waves hand frantically in the air in front of Mary's face*
Beatrix: Aha..poor girly *laughs at Kuja*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Get that stank hand out of my face! I don't know where it's been!
Kuja: ...
Kuja: :*Kicks Beatrix*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Especially since you were playing with Garnet's doggy, Froo Froo!
Beatrix: Oo..harder, baby :P Wasting too much energy?!
Garnet: WHAA?
Garnet: T-This can't be true! Can it?!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay now shut up Beabitch. Kuja what's your question?
Kuja: Well, Mary...
Garnet: *listens*
Kuja: I need to share something...
Kuja: I need to share something...
Kuja: *Kneels down next to Zidane, grabs his hand, and kisses it* Zidane... I love you!
Zidane: -Raises hand-
Zidane: ......
Part-Time Worker Mary: Yes, Zidane?
Garnet: GAAA!
Zidane: Uhm..
Beatrix: *eyes gleam* YAOI! And incest too!
Kuja: That's why I've been crossdressing and wearing a thong. I-i thought if I was pretty enough you would LOVE me!
Kuja: Zidane, I've ALWAYS loved you! *Sniffles*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Well! Isn't this interesting. It looks like Garnet's going home alone!
Garnet: Waahh ;_;
Zidane: -Blushes slightly-...Well...^_^;;
Garnet: *latches onto Zidane* But but but..you're not gay!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay let's take some questions from the audience.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Yes, you.
Beatrix: *smacks Garnet* We all love yaoi, ya bitch!
Audience Member 1: yeah
Zidane: ...-Pushes her off-You don't know me at all!
Kuja: Zidane... will you marry me?
Audience Member 1: This is for the man in the Thong!
Garnet: !!!!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *takes out railgun and shoots Beatrix down*
Audience Member 1: If you're really a man, how do you hide your thang.
Beatrix: *dies*
Zidane: Yes..Kuja...-clings to him-
Garnet: Well..If I grow a penis..will you love me too?!
Garnet: I don't wanna sleep alone tonight ;_;
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay. First of all, how DO you hide your male genitalia, Kuja? Secondly, if Garnet DOES grow a penis (I heard Miracle Grow really works) will you go back to her, Zidane?
Kuja: Simple, darling. "Magic". ^_~
Garnet: *puppy dog eyes*
Kuja: Whatever. I don't need you anymore Garnet!
Zidane: -Smacks Dagger-No!,Kuja is sexier than her! -Continues making out with Kuja-
Garnet: ;_;
Zidane: Uhm..depends..how big Dagger?
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Garnet: *whistles* 8 1/2, 9 inches?
Zidane: Hotdamn..
Kuja: *Cries* Mine's bigger!
Part-Time Worker Mary: No it's not!
Garnet: 12!
Kuja: AH!
Part-Time Worker Mary: I mean....O.O
Zidane: Well..Kuja looks better..
Garnet: 12 Inches is my final offer! Plus a can of vaselin!
Zidane: So..NO!
Kuja: Yay!
Garnet: *vaseline
Garnet: ;_;
Zidane: -Clings back to Kuja-^_^;
Kuja: *Grabs Zidane's butt* I knew we were meant for eachother!
Zidane: Oh..we sure are.
Kuja: Yes yes.
Garnet: M-Mary! What should I do now?
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay let's take one more question and then we gotta end this segment. Yes, you?
Zidane: -Plays with his hair-
Audience Member 2: *raises hand*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I SAID WHAT?
Audience Member 2: *raises hand*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I SAID WHAT?
Audience Member 2: Hey, Garnet, I'm a transexual hermaphrodite called Herb. I'm lonely tonight..so..will you sleep with me?
Garnet: *looks at Kuja and Zidane and shrugs* Okay.
Kuja: What the hell?
Audience Member 2: Score! *gleems*
Kuja: We didn't need you anyway, bitch =\
Zidane: -Laughs at Herb-Good luck getting anything outta her!
Garnet: That's not what you said last nigghhtt..
Kuja: :*Holds Zidane's hand* ^___^
Zidane: ^___^
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay I'm afraid that's all the time we have left. This is Part-Time Worker Mary saying Byeeee!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Famine
Garnet: Owa
Zidane: Shinji
Kuja: Relm (Skuld)
Beatrix: Owa
Audience: Seifer
We brought this play as a copout of Jerry Springer to you, made possible by The Pale
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hello! Welcome to the Part-Time Worker Mary show! We're talking to women who are having MANY affairs on MANY people. Meet Garnet.
Audience: Oooooh!
Garnet: Hi, Mary *waves*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hi! What's your story?
Garnet: Well..I've been going out with this guy for a while now. He's sweet, cute, and uh..a tad horny..*sweatdrops*. And I brought him here today to hell him a few secrets.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oooh. Spicey secrets?
Garnet: Yes.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oooh. How exciting. Let's bring out your boyfriend. Here's Zidane!
Zidane: -Walks out,and looks around and waves at the crowd.Heads next to Garnet and looks at Mary and whistles-Looking good there Mary! ^_~
Part-Time Worker Mary: Well aren't you just the Casanova. Garnet has something to tell you, Romeo.
Zidane: Hmm? -Turns to Garnet- If it's about the whips and chains in my closet...um..Someone putted them there..
Part-Time Worker Mary: Whips and chains, huh? I don't wanna know what they do in their spare time. *winks at audience*
Audience: Ooooh!
Garnet: *giggles nervously* Actually, it's not about that ^_^;;
Zidane: Ehehehe ^_^;
Part-Time Worker Mary: What do you want to tell him, Garnet?
Garnet: Well..
Zidane: Well..Garney -puts his arm around her shoulder-You can tell me anything!
Garnet: As nice as you are...I have...been cheating on you.
Audience: Oooh!
Zidane: -Gets up from his chair and throws it nearly hitting Mary-Wha..what!?!?! With who!?!? Who's the damn guy!? Do i know him!?
Garnet: Actually..you kinda do.
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Let's bring this 'surprise guest' out!
Audience: Yay! *claps*
Zidane: -Falls to his knees-...I like saved your kingdom..-Gets up with fire in his eyes-Bring out the little %$#$^&
Kuja: *Charges through back door, smashing the door down with an axe twice his size* WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?!?!?!
Kuja: Garney-baby! *Sits beside her, reaching hand behind her chair and grabbing her fine ass* ^_~ *Coughs and pulls back hand* Why am I here?
Zidane: -Looks at Kuja-..Him!!?!?
Kuja: *Looks at Zidane disguistedly* Eww, what's this biznatch doing here?
Garnet: Well..*points to Zidane* I've been cheating you..with him. *turns to Zidane* And I've been cheating on you with him.
Zidane: Garnet..I thought you were only into guys..
Part-Time Worker Mary: As I understand it, you two are brothers, am I right?
Kuja: Yes, we are.
Zidane: Sadly..yes..
Kuja: He's a poor excuse for a brother if you ask me. Hell, he doesn't even wear a thong.
Zidane: Well..atleast I have a penis.
Kuja: Thongs are SO in, not wussy pants!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Kuja, do you not have male genitalia?
Kuja: I do.
Garnet: Yes he does ^_^;
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oh really? How big is it?
Part-Time Worker Mary: I mean UHM!
Zidane: -Coughs-
Zidane: Well..Mary..my so called "bro" is nothing but a wussy..
Kuja: Excuse me?!
Zidane: HELL, he wears make up!
Zidane: And a thong!
Zidane: C'mon now..
Kuja: *Stands up and throws bag of cosmetics at Zidane*
Zidane: He makes a sexier woman than me!
Kuja: Zidane, dear brother, your attempts in sainthood has failed. Thongs are in; chicks dig men with thongs and makeup. Not fluffy pants and white collars. That was SO last week.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay, Garnet, what do you have to say about this?
Zidane: ...Atleast I have a penis.
Kuja: And, seeing as I am aware of how envious and jealous you are of my outstand beauty, you may want to shut up.
Kuja: I have one. Unlike some blonde-haired freaks.
Garnet: First of all..both of you, please be quiet.
Kuja: Yes, Garney-poo!
Zidane: What was that!!?
Part-Time Worker Mary: You heard her. Shut your traps before I open a can of whup-girly butt.
Kuja: *Whispers to Zidane* Dumb Blonde.
Zidane: -Gets his chair and throws it at Kuja-
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Garnet: I said...BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE &*$*# UP!
Zidane: You stupid #%@%$#
Kuja: *Dodges chair and whispers to Zidane* Dumb Blonde.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Stop fighting this instant! Garnet has something to tell you both.
Audience: Oooh! Mary! Mary! Mary!
Kuja: Yes ma'am.
Zidane: -Bitch slaps Kuja then he sits down-
Garnet: Anyways..I have another secret to reveal to both of you.
Kuja: *Sits down and listens intentely to Garnet*
Zidane: -Looks at her-..What else?
Kuja: Yes, Garney-poo?
Garnet: Well...I've been cheating on both of you..again..
Kuja: WHAT?!
Zidane: .....
Kuja: You've been cheating on.. m-me?!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Let's bring out the fourth wheel!
Kuja: Of all people! Who could be more beautiful than me?! And why would you want someone? Didn't you say I was all that you wanted in a guy?!
Kuja: I need answers, damn it!
Kuja: Err, I meant someone else.
Zidane: -Looks at Kuja-Shut up!..Since when did you starting thinking your better than me!
Beatrix: *comes charging out of the back room dragging a bloody security guard in one hand and Save the Queen in another* Garney!
Kuja: Since the day you were born.
Audience: Booooo!
Zidane: What the #$%^!?!?
Kuja: *Gasps and kicks Beatrix* Stay away from my Garnet!
Zidane: Beatrix!?
Part-Time Worker Mary: Hi Beatrix. You're known throughout the land as the Slut of Alexandria. You're even sleeping with the Princess?
Beatrix: Damn right, I am!
Kuja: GARNET!
Beatrix: And she likes it too!
Garnet: Eheheh. ^_^;;
Zidane: Dagger!?
Kuja: I thought you loved me! *Glares back and forth at the two with teary eyes*
Garnet: Well..she is supposed to protect me ^_^;
Garnet: I do I do!
Part-Time Worker Mary: You got a secret for them, though, don't you Be a bitch...I mean Beatrix?
Beatrix: Yes..protect you in my own special way *grins*
Beatrix: Yes.
Garnet: WHAA?
Beatrix: Well, Mary. First of all..I am a man.
Kuja: ....!
Garnet: ................
Audience: Oooo!
Zidane: ....
Garnet: But but but but...you have a penis!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *giggles* Tell us something we DON'T know.
Kuja: *Grabs Silver Dragon plushie and throws at Beatrix* You... you CROSSDRESSER!
Beatrix: Sex changes exist, baby.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Now hold on a minute.
Beatrix: Well..atleast I look damn good as a woman unlike SOME PEOPLE
Audience: Oooh! Mary! Mary! Mary!
Zidane: Beatrix..what about Rusty!?!?
Beatrix: What about him? He sleeping with that Quina thing.
Part-Time Worker Mary: As I understand it, you were born a man, then changed female, then reverted back to male. How does that go?
Zidane: I thought both of you had the hots for each other!
Kuja: You biznatch! *Bitch slaps Beatrix*
Zidane: You %^&%$#% She-man!
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Kuja: And you! *Bitch slaps Garnet, too* Nobody loves me.. *Sulks in chair depressingly*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Now shut up both of you. *takes out a sniper rifle* One more word out of ANYONE but Beatrix up there and I blow your head off, got me?
Kuja: ...*Nods*
Garnet: ... *does the same*
Beatrix: Well...Being born a male was rather - how should I say this? - boring. Besides, women are hot. So one day, I found a big bag of cotton *points to breasts* and I do have a sword..soo..you know.
Beatrix: And poof..I was one sexy bitch.
Kuja: *Grabs peice of paper and a pen from audience, and writes the word "YOU BITCH-ASS SLUT" in big, black letters and hands it to Beatrix*
Beatrix: Bring it, GIRL.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Oh. Okay. Well, Garnet. Who are you gonna stay with?
Kuja: *Coughs*
Kuja: *Cries and gives Garnet puppy dog eyes*
Kuja: *Raises hand* Excuse me...
Zidane: Damnit Dagger..I know you get around alot..but DAMN..
Zidane: I was your savior!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *shoots Zidane in the leg*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I said no TALKING bitch!
Kuja: *Raises hand and coughs again*
Garnet: C-Can't I have all three of them? I enjoy Zidane's sexual energy..*cough*, and Kuja's just sexy as hell..and Beatrix is umm..pretty good..
Garnet: So I was wondering, can't I keep them all? I mean..I h-heard groupies are fun.
Kuja: *Waves hand frantically in the air in front of Mary's face*
Beatrix: Aha..poor girly *laughs at Kuja*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Get that stank hand out of my face! I don't know where it's been!
Kuja: ...
Kuja: :*Kicks Beatrix*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Especially since you were playing with Garnet's doggy, Froo Froo!
Beatrix: Oo..harder, baby :P Wasting too much energy?!
Garnet: WHAA?
Garnet: T-This can't be true! Can it?!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay now shut up Beabitch. Kuja what's your question?
Kuja: Well, Mary...
Garnet: *listens*
Kuja: I need to share something...
Kuja: I need to share something...
Kuja: *Kneels down next to Zidane, grabs his hand, and kisses it* Zidane... I love you!
Zidane: -Raises hand-
Zidane: ......
Part-Time Worker Mary: Yes, Zidane?
Garnet: GAAA!
Zidane: Uhm..
Beatrix: *eyes gleam* YAOI! And incest too!
Kuja: That's why I've been crossdressing and wearing a thong. I-i thought if I was pretty enough you would LOVE me!
Kuja: Zidane, I've ALWAYS loved you! *Sniffles*
Part-Time Worker Mary: Well! Isn't this interesting. It looks like Garnet's going home alone!
Garnet: Waahh ;_;
Zidane: -Blushes slightly-...Well...^_^;;
Garnet: *latches onto Zidane* But but but..you're not gay!
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay let's take some questions from the audience.
Part-Time Worker Mary: Yes, you.
Beatrix: *smacks Garnet* We all love yaoi, ya bitch!
Audience Member 1: yeah
Zidane: ...-Pushes her off-You don't know me at all!
Kuja: Zidane... will you marry me?
Audience Member 1: This is for the man in the Thong!
Garnet: !!!!
Part-Time Worker Mary: *takes out railgun and shoots Beatrix down*
Audience Member 1: If you're really a man, how do you hide your thang.
Beatrix: *dies*
Zidane: Yes..Kuja...-clings to him-
Garnet: Well..If I grow a penis..will you love me too?!
Garnet: I don't wanna sleep alone tonight ;_;
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay. First of all, how DO you hide your male genitalia, Kuja? Secondly, if Garnet DOES grow a penis (I heard Miracle Grow really works) will you go back to her, Zidane?
Kuja: Simple, darling. "Magic". ^_~
Garnet: *puppy dog eyes*
Kuja: Whatever. I don't need you anymore Garnet!
Zidane: -Smacks Dagger-No!,Kuja is sexier than her! -Continues making out with Kuja-
Garnet: ;_;
Zidane: Uhm..depends..how big Dagger?
Audience: Mary! Mary! Mary!
Garnet: *whistles* 8 1/2, 9 inches?
Zidane: Hotdamn..
Kuja: *Cries* Mine's bigger!
Part-Time Worker Mary: No it's not!
Garnet: 12!
Kuja: AH!
Part-Time Worker Mary: I mean....O.O
Zidane: Well..Kuja looks better..
Garnet: 12 Inches is my final offer! Plus a can of vaselin!
Zidane: So..NO!
Kuja: Yay!
Garnet: *vaseline
Garnet: ;_;
Zidane: -Clings back to Kuja-^_^;
Kuja: *Grabs Zidane's butt* I knew we were meant for eachother!
Zidane: Oh..we sure are.
Kuja: Yes yes.
Garnet: M-Mary! What should I do now?
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay let's take one more question and then we gotta end this segment. Yes, you?
Zidane: -Plays with his hair-
Audience Member 2: *raises hand*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I SAID WHAT?
Audience Member 2: *raises hand*
Part-Time Worker Mary: I SAID WHAT?
Audience Member 2: Hey, Garnet, I'm a transexual hermaphrodite called Herb. I'm lonely tonight..so..will you sleep with me?
Garnet: *looks at Kuja and Zidane and shrugs* Okay.
Kuja: What the hell?
Audience Member 2: Score! *gleems*
Kuja: We didn't need you anyway, bitch =\
Zidane: -Laughs at Herb-Good luck getting anything outta her!
Garnet: That's not what you said last nigghhtt..
Kuja: :*Holds Zidane's hand* ^___^
Zidane: ^___^
Part-Time Worker Mary: Okay I'm afraid that's all the time we have left. This is Part-Time Worker Mary saying Byeeee!