A/N: Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. Captain of Pride of Portree.

TRIGGER WARNING! ABUSIVE THEMES!

Prompt: "The Dead Parrot." Best line? "Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there." Write about a character talking their way out of a situation

Blow after blow after blow reigned down, and Sirius wished he could just die. He wasn't even sure what happened. One minute he and Sky were kissing, the next she was punching him, in the face and anywhere else she could reach. He knew from experience that it didn't take a lot to set Sky O'Brian off.

"Sky, please stop!" cried Sirius. He was loathed to touch the girl, but if she didn't stop, Sirius was considering hitting her back.

Finally, the blows stopped coming.

"Holy Circe, I'm sorry Sirius!" Sky panted. "I don't know what came over me."

Sirius looked up at the girl incredulously. Was she serious? Not a moment ago she was punching the living daylights out of him - for kissing her.

"What?" asked Sky having just seen the look on his face.

"What in the name of Morgana happened? One minute we're kissing, the next you're beating the crap out of me! How does that work?" Sirius shot back as he got up and dusted himself down. Merlin his ribs hurt.

"I dunno," shrugged Sky.

"What do you mean, you don't know? Did I touch you somewhere I shouldn't have?" asked Sirius. His mind was working fast on a list of possible things he could have done to deserve such a beating.

"No."

"You need to help me out here, Sky. Right now, I'm baffled," said Sirius as his fingers examined his lips for any blood. Finding a small amount, Sirius lifted his wand and fixed the problem.

"Dunno, just felt like it!" Sky said menacingly. "And if you tell any of your little friends or the teachers about it, I will hurt you again. I'll tell everyone that you hit me first because I wouldn't let you have sex with me. Do you really want everyone to know what a wimp you are if you do tell? Do you understand?"

Sirius stared in complete horror. Was this girl for real? Had she just threatened him? Surely she couldn't be serious? Could she?

"Sky?"

"I mean it Black, you're to meet me here again tomorrow, and who knows, maybe I'll be nice to you." She smirked before disappearing out of the classroom door, her Ravenclaw robes billowing behind her.

Sirius sunk on to the desk beside him and tried to gather his scattered thoughts. What in hell had he gotten himself into? He wished fervently he hadn't asked Sky out, no wonder some of the Ravenclaws had looked so worried. He understood now, the minute shakes of the head, and the pleading looks in some of her classmate's eyes. They knew but were too scared to say anything outright. He had to figure out a way of getting himself out of this situation, and it was going to take all of his cunning to do so.

Realising that he was losing light fast, Sirius left the classroom behind him for now.

"Mr Black, what are you doing out in the corridors after curfew?" called Professor McGonagall.

Sirius froze in his tracks, his mind working fast. He'd been so lost in his own head that he hadn't even seen her coming out of the classroom to his left. The rustle of her skirts told Sirius she was almost behind him.

"Minnie, how ravishing you look!" said Sirius as he whipped around and gave McGonagall a brilliant smile.

Overlooking for the minute the fact that one of her own house had called her 'Minnie,' McGonagall asked again in a tight voice what Sirius was doing in the corridors after curfew.

He watched her as she screwed up her face and intently studied his for a moment.

"Mr Black, you appear to have a black eye. How did that happen?" asked McGonagall kindly.

Sirius swore softly before replying that he had walked into a door frame while he was checking out a hot Ravenclaw.

"I hope you at least got a punch in, young Sirius," said McGonagall quietly. She hoped there was nothing serious going on. She knew a little of his home life and the regular beatings from his mother. "Get to the common room now!"

Sirius almost jumped for joy at the free pass he'd just been given. He ran the entire length of the third-floor corridor before hiding in a concealed alcove to get his breath back. After which he made the trudging journey back to Gryffindor tower.

"Mate, what happened to your face?" asked James as he entered the boy's dormitory.

"I walked into a door frame," replied Sirius.

"Does this door frame have a name?" asked James coldly.

"Seriously, no one has hit me. I really did just walk into a door frame," said Sirius defensively.

"Okay, okay no need to bite, is there," said James with a shrug.

Sirius headed to the boy's bathroom on the pretext of taking a quick shower, but instead, he wanted to check out the damage. He studied his face first; indeed his right eye was puffy and bruised. He peeled off his uniform, wincing as he did so, his ribs showed mass bruising too. Sirius grimaced and quickly changed into the pj's he'd brought with him before anyone else could see the state of him.

The next day when Sirius got to the Great Hall be was greeted by a bubbly Sky who was all smiles, and sweet kisses.

"Good morning," she said shyly.

Sighing inwardly, Sirius played along.

"Good morning," said Sirius softly.

"I hope you slept well," Sky said as she kissed the shell of his ear.

"I did, thank you," lied Sirius. He had had a lousy night, and he'd been in so much pain that he didn't get a wink of sleep.

"Meet me at potions at break." Sirius could see the threat in her eyes if he didn't; it was a demand, not a request.

"I will," Sirius found himself saying.

"Good!" Smiled Sky before swiftly turning on her heel, her long black ponytail hitting him in the face causing him to splutter.

Inwardly sighing again, Sirius went to join his friends at the Gryffindor table.

"Everything okay?" asked Remus as he watched Sirius wince as he sat down.

"I'm fine," lied Sirius.

Remus knew Sirius was lying.

Break time rolled around, and Sirius was desperately trying to find a way to get out of meeting Sky. But he found his feet carried him down to the dungeons to meet her anyway. She smiled brilliantly at him as she spotted him waiting for her.

"You came," she smiled a little wickedly.

"Of course I did, I wouldn't let you down," said Sirius loudly. It sounded as if he wasn't only trying to convince everyone around them, but himself too.

"Come on, let's go," said Sky as she grabbed his hand tightly. She started dragging him further down the potions corridor to a disused closet. She pulled the door open and roughly shoved Sirius inside. He suddenly felt nails rake his scalp as a hand closed on Sirius' hair. The hand in his hair pushed his head back, so it smacked off the shelf behind him, causing him to see stars.

"Who's a good boy then? Who's a good dog?"

Sirius froze, his arms halfway to his head. Did she know about his Animagus form? Or was it just mocking words?

Again his head bounced off the shelf behind him.

"You're my bitch now, Sirius Black, remember that," said Sky in a soft voice before biting his neck.

Thankfully Sirius was literally saved by the bell that rung to indicate break was over. As she let go of his hair, he peered through the dark and watched as she messed her hair and face up making it look like they'd had a hot and heavy make-out session.

"I'll see you at lunch," said Sky silkily, leaving Sirius feeling dazed and sore.

This went on for weeks like this. Every day the same. Every time Sirius tried to talk his way out of the situation he now found himself in, she threatened to run to Dumbledore and say Sirius had raped her. He was trapped. He couldn't risk her saying something like that. Not only would he likely be expelled, but his parents would beat the life out of him. Also, what would his friends think? They'd probably label him a monster, a disgusting pig who took what he wanted. He couldn't take that. He couldn't take the looks of disappointment and disgust. He was going to have to find another way to get out of this.

"Are you okay Mr Black?" asked McGonagall one lesson.

Sirius had almost slid out of his seat in shock. He'd fallen asleep in his Transfiguration lesson.

"What?" asked Sirius his eyes looking around wildly.

"I asked if you were okay, Mr Black. I would like to know why you're sleeping in my lesson," said McGonagall sternly.

Sirius looked at James, Remus and Peter. At this moment he felt betrayed. Why had they let him fall asleep in the first place? His friends just shook their heads and carried on working.

"I think detention is required. Be here straight after dinner," said McGonagall briskly as she swept away.

Despite having felt betrayed, this was a way to get away from Sky! Maybe if he kept getting detentions, he wouldn't have to see her.

"I always knew you couldn't resist me, Minnie," catcalled Sirius.

Everyone in the room whipped round to stare at Sirius. Even his friends looked at him incredulously.

"Mr Black, that's detention every day for a week."

"Is that all? Alas, and I thought you fancied me a bit more than that," said Sirius desperately.

"Out, get out, go and see Professor Dumbledore, NOW!" thundered McGonagall.

"Come with me and hold my hand," Sirius suggested with a smirk.

"Mate," said James, nudging Sirius with his elbow in his ribs causing Sirius to yowl in pain. "Sirius?"

"It's nothing, I'm going," said Sirius as he rose he automatically wrapped a protective hand around himself.

"Mr Black a quiet word outside," demanded McGonagall.

"I said I was going, didn't I?" Sirius snapped.

"Outside now!"

Sirius followed McGonagall out of the classroom into the quiet corridor.

"Mr Black I don't know what kind of stunt you were trying to pull in there, but you are now in detention break time, lunch time, and after dinner for the next month. No arguments," McGonagall said in a voice deadly calm. "Be here straight after dinner."

With that McGonagall strode back into the classroom and slammed the door.

Sirius almost wanted to dance with glee down the corridor; he wouldn't have to see Sky for a month. He could only hope she'd get bored waiting for him and move on. Of course, when she found out about the months worth of detentions, Sky almost lost her poise but promised she would wait for him. Sirius felt his heart sink into his shoes. The look in her eyes said it all; she would wait, and when that wait was over he was going to get the beating of a lifetime.

James, Remus and Peter couldn't fathom Sirius' outrageous behaviour. Yes, he could be crass and cheeky, but this was something else. This was something that they were determined to get to the bottom of.

During the first week of Sirius' detentions, Sky would appear at the Gryffindor table at meal times and plop down next to him and be all sweet words and shy eyes. She would smile softly at him, and press small soft kisses to his cheeks.

During the second week, Sky tried to catch Sirius between lessons, not that she was so lucky doing this, especially when Sirius knew so many secret passages, but she did catch him a couple of times and complained loudly saying that his friends had made her feel very uncomfortable and very unwelcome at the Gryffindor table. This alone made Sirius mad, his friends had tried for his sake to be nice to the girl when she had joined them, but she'd been the one to brush them off.

By the third week Sky seemingly gave up trying and made do with glaring at Sirius across the Great Hall and in the corridors if she saw him. This was a huge relief for Sirius, dirty looks he could deal with. Merlin knows how many Sirius had dealt with at home during holidays.

End of the fourth week and of course, Sky demanded that Sirius meet her in classroom four on the third floor that night. He could only agree, lest she caused a scene. When he got there, Sky grabbed him by the front of his robes and hurled him to the ground before sitting astride.

First, she kissed him ardently, then she punched him hard in the mouth.

"Did you really think a months worth of detentions would be enough to stop you from seeing me?" A hand curled into his hair and made him bang his head off the cold stone floor. "You are my bitch, remember?"

"No Sky, I am not your bitch!" Sirius spat back. "It's been bliss this last month not having to see your pasty ugly face every single day!"

"What did you say?" asked Sky dangerously.

"You heard me! Enough is enough; I want out. I'm sick of being your puppet and punch bag!" said Sirius as he shoved Sky off of his lap and scrambled to his feet.

"You're not going anywhere," screamed Sky.

"Oh, but I am," said Sirius as he moved towards the door. Sky tigerishly sprung towards Sirius and started flailing her fists. She connected with his back and sent him pitching. Sirius rolled over onto his back and put his arms over his face to protect himself. Sky stood over him, and he felt a couple of punches land before he heard her scream. He moved his arms and saw Dumbledore using his wand to restrain the girl.

"Are you okay, Sirius?" asked Dumbledore.

"I will be, Sir," winced Sirius.

"As for you, Miss O'Brian, you are coming to my office. Come along," said Professor Dumbledore his voice calm and steady, his eyes flashing like fire.

As Professor Dumbledore exited, Professor McGonagall entered.

"Come along Sirius. Let's get you to the hospital wing."

James, Remus and Peter came to visit Sirius while he was in the hospital wing. He told them the whole sorry story of what had been happening in his relationship with Sky. He then went on to explain how Sky got caught.

"You remember that day McGonagall threw me out of class and I had to see Dumbledore? Let's put it this way; nothing gets past that bloke!" joked Sirius.

"Why didn't you tell us?" asked James in a hurt voice.

"Couldn't, could I? She was threatening to yell rape! Do you think I want to be remembered as a rapist?"

"So I'm guessing Dumbledore figured it all out, and between the two of you, you planned a trap for O'Brian?" asked Remus, there was a hint of something dark flaring in his eyes.

"You'll be happy to know that Sky has gone," smiled Peter.

"Yeah, on our way here we passed her and her parents," Remus continued. "Her father had a vice like grip on her arm."

"She gave us some right dirty looks, I can tell you," chuckled James.

Sirius smiled and relaxed.

"Dumbledore did. I'm just glad it's over. For once, I couldn't talk my way out a situation."