okay before you preach about how shitty this fic is i'm gonna disclaim a lil something: I'M USED TO WRITE LUCAS/MAYA. they have a much different dynamic than charlie and riley. like way... way way way way,...and i have no inspo for them and i KNOW that zaley is my #1 riley ship but i for some damned reason can't get their dynamic down. i've tried and tried but they don't have enough scenes together for me to do so. so here is riarlie in the place until i figure out why i can't do anything with zaley at the moment. I'M STILL TRYING TO WRITE IOL but it's so dry... don't know if i can continue pick your poison i might just leave it at two. anyway, let's go...
You think you fall in love with her in the seventh grade. Something about her chocolate eyes and the way her hair melts onto her shoulders or the way that she smiles manages to dim out anybody else was probably the cause, you figure. Something melted your body into goo and made your insides turn out, you didn't really understand it at the time. Misplaced it as only a crush, only and will ever be.
Because she was with that Lucas guy. At least, that's what you had heard. They never really made any other interaction other than awkward stares and goofy laughs, but you didn't think much of it. Besides, they were only in middle school, nothing would come of your relationship and the Lucas and Riley dilemma would become a whole new Cory and Topanga, or so you've heard.
You met in seventh grade year, when she got paired up with you for an assignment in science class. She didn't take it lightly, hoping to get paired with her long lost and will forever be lover, however only failing and you ending up as the apparent second choice. But she attempted to suppress her disappointment in with a strained smile and she turned to you, the boy with the short hair and eyes as wide as suns.
That's how you get to know her, and that's how you get to love her. She talks to you about a lot of things during science while everyone does aimless experiments and while she nearly burns your eyebrows off while mixing the wrong chemicals together. She has a panic attack and apologizes profusely for a whole two weeks before you finally beg her to stop, because it's okay. It really was, despite the fact you nearly got third degree burns, but it's okay.
You meet her best friend, Maya, once when you come up into the hall to ask Riley a question about your science project you were doing. Maya was quite a contrast from her best friend, she was loud and rowdy and did whatever she wanted. She liked combat boots and leather jackets, while her best friend liked sundresses and smiles.
You didn't really understand how they came to be, but they did, so you accept it. You meet her infamous lover during band class when he sits next to you in the trumpet section. He's a nice dude, he truly really is. But you think for a moment or two, he won't ever live up to her crazy expectations. Because you can read people like an open book, and you know there's much more than his façade he had managed to hide under, he was more than just a pretty boy with a pretty face and a perfect life.
But you keep your thoughts to yourself.
/
You know that she had been waiting to be asked since ten months before the semi formal, and when it's only one week before, you can see her desperate glances back at the boy who broke her heart on numerous accounts without even realizing it. Your heart swells in your chest as she complains to her best friend only five months before the formal and your head turns, watching her as you walk past.
You've fallen head over heels for a girl you barely know and you don't even realize it.
Your history teacher subjects you to watch a useless film you couldn't even care less about, but you do so anyway, as you realize that you'll be asking her out to the dance. If her so called long lost lover was unable to do so, you could. You've talked to her much less than you've liked, but much more than you've expected.
So you set up something elaborate, something you know she'll enjoy. She likes big stuff, she likes romantic stuff, you know this with the way she's shown you her notebook and the way she's complained to your about her long lost lover in science class.
First, the balloons in the locker. Your throat hurts. Second, you get everyone in your drama class to hand one rose until she has a bouquet. Third, comes the disco ball. You had to pay janitor Harley to even consider putting that up on the ceiling. Fourth, music blasting throughout the halls. Something romantic, sweet, but doesn't scream creepy. Fifth, Yogi on skates. That took forever to teach the little man to even get up without breaking his ankles. Last, the banner.
Somehow, Maya managed to recall all of your intentions on how you were going to ask Riley out to the semi formal. Perhaps she remembered when you told her ten months previous on how you were going to ask a special someone out, but she managed to do so anyway. Then you're cued.
She says yes and your heart leaps in your ribcage, her familiar smile that you had grown to love placed on her features, but then it drops, regret filling her porcelain face as she walks away slowly, realization slapping her in the face.
"A girl like you deserves to be swept off her feet." And then he comes, and you're struck with the realization that he thinks that Riley's easy. That he just assumes that she'll go with him, and you realize that she doesn't deserve him. Nor does she deserve you, but she deserves better. She certainly deserves better, and will always deserve better. So you shove your disappointment deep into the base of your stomach as she turns you down in a polite manner and you smile.
But she turns up anyway, looking as beautiful and as gorgeous as ever with her golden peach dress and her hair fanning out her face and her smile as bright as the sun.
/
You hear from Zay about the whole Riley and Lucas dilemma that managed to conjure up in only two days of being in Texas. You also hear from your friend that Maya and Lucas are possibly, and could possibly be a thing. You think you like that much better, but perhaps you're bias because you're completely in love with the girl with the chestnut hair and eyes like doe.
So you ask her out via paper. You somehow showed up in her history class, you don't really know how it came to be but it is how it is. Her body turns around and she accepts your ask out with a shaky smile. You know that you're her rebound, you know you know you know, but just the mere thought of being near her is enough for you so you shove your disappointment down in your stomach and move on.
You want to go bowling like Japan and France, she wants to go to the movies. She doesn't want to talk, to touch. But that's okay, she's getting over her heartbreak with Lucas. You understand, at least you think you do. So when she whisks Farkle away and you come out later, wondering where she is, you see the tears gleam in her eyes and the sad smile stretch out on her soft skin.
You want to ask about it, but you don't. You really don't.
/
You don't really stop seeing each other. She starts to tend to grab your hand in the middle of the hallway. You know she's forcing something that has yet to come but you smile through it anyway, taking her hand in hers as she deals with her Lucas problem.
When she's ready, you know she'll come to you.
Because she deserves the best she can get, and even though you can't compare to what she deserves to have, you're pretty damn close.
You're pretty damn close.
/
She kisses you for the first time at the bowling alley. She says that this is where you were supposed to have your first date, lane 12 with three games and loads and loads of cheese fries with a bunch of giggles. So she grabs your collar, her breath tasting like cheese and cherry, and she pulls your lips down to hers. She doesn't know what she's doing, really, but your body turns into a pile of goo as she smiles.
You really really really think you love her.
You really really really know you love her.
/
You start to realize the little things about her as you spend more time with her. The scar that's right under her left eye that was caused from her scooter accident in the second grade. The way she scratches her nose whenever she's uncomfortable (you learn to change the topic of conversation after that). You remember the way she looks at something she desperately wants in a store window as you walk past it - remembering the price and the store name so you can come back to it later.
You eventually, basically, buy her a whole jewelry store.
You begin to notice when she really, truly gets over Lucas. She's less tense around you, she holds your hand a little more tight and smiles a tiny bit more bright than you had seen before. She lingers around your soft hugs for longer than you'd expect, but shorter than you'd like.
And you realize, finally, that she'll be okay. She may still be hurting over seeing her best friend completely happy with her former boyfriend, and she may be upset over her former boyfriend being totally in love with her best friend, but she'll be okay. Because she accepts that he wouldn't ever make her happy, he wouldn't ever be who she needed him to be. But you think you will.
You know you will.
/
She tells you something one time, something so far from romantic but makes your heart leap a thousand miles a minute.
"You were supposed to be the rebound."
Not the best way of putting it, but you smile.
You know you're so much more than that now.
/
She breaks up with you in your Junior year, only one week after you tell her you love her. You remember the night vividly, her warm embrace in yours and you say the words once, twice, thrice and you truly realize that you really do love her. You repeat the words over and over and over again in your brain until it's ingrained in there like a mantra. You take the break up lightly, not wanting to push her into something she doesn't want.
Besides, she deserved better. She deserved better than you. Were you ever really more than the rebound?
You think it's because of Lucas. You see the way he looks at Maya, like she's the light of his life. Like she's everything good to come out of this awful, awful world. You looked at Riley like that, you think. Because she really, truly was like that to you. And so much more. So you told her you love her.
But it's over now, you think. So you've got to move on.
/
You try to see other people but your hands shake as you greet them and your heart plummets as you hug them. You smile is strained and fake, and eventually, your dates pick up on the fact that you're not over her. That you'll never be over her. That you'll always love her in the completely and totally romantic way.
Friends doesn't work with you two. You figure that out eventually and stop talking to her all together. Not because you're petty, because it hurts you way too much to talk to her. To realize that she'll never be yours again.
You think you're going to cry.
/
After endless amounts of other people and other people and other people, you give up. So you walk up to her apartment, all the way across the other side of town in only seven degree weather, and you knock on her door loudly, waiting patiently like the gentlemen you are for her to open up the door.
Because you deserve a happy ending too.
You hear the shuffling of her feet behind the door and you wait a moment or two before the old thing creaks open and she drops her popcorn in surprise from seeing you. Her hair is tied up tightly and she's wearing footsie pajamas with two handfuls of popcorn stuffed in her mouth. "Charlie.." she says slowly, taking a moment or two to chew her popcorn.
"We need to talk," you say.
So she takes your hand in hers and pulls you outside, giving her best friend a threatening look before leaving the premises of her apartment. She asks you why you're here, and you tell her. You tell her that you deserve to know why she broke it off with you, because you know you won't be able to move on without knowing. And you desperately need to move on, or you don't think you'll ever be happy. You know you'll never be happy
"You're not supposed to move on," she says, picking at her sleeve and refusing to look up at you. "I.. I was dealing with something, Charlie, and I didn't know how to deal with it other than break it off with you."
Her breath shakes and your heart shatters. You never intended to make her cry, you never wanted to make her cry. But your hands stay shoved down deep inside your pockets and you stare solemnly at the foot of her pajamas where's she's nervously hitting the floor with her toe. "Was it because I wasn't Lucas?" you ask her.
"No, no!" she reassured you with a soft pat on your shoulder, bringing your body closer to hers so you're forced to stare at her in the eyes. "That was never it, I swear to god. I know I was upset with Maya and Lucas getting together, but that was never it."
She tells you why. She says that when you told her that you love her, a feeling erupted inside of her that she had never felt before. Something she had never felt with Lucas, and never did think she was going to. Because she realized that she loved you the way her father loved her mother, and she thought she had finally found her Topanga.
And that scared her.
So you tell her you love her again, and again and again until it seems as if it's only you two standing in the middle of the dark hallway, holding each other and you're crying for some unknown reason but you love her, you really do. You really do.
Because it's Japan and France, and you think it will always be that way.
this is in the same format i write my lucas/maya fics. i've transferred some feelings in the mix but i had to switch things up to match personalities and dynamics. this was way harder than i liked and i'm sorry if it's ooc. i'm actually gonna refuse to write anymore fics from here on out until i get a zaley fic out and finish iol and pyp...okay here we go.
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