Chapter 1: Love Is In The Air
Naruto was rubbing his head every few moments as he walked to the point Kakashi had told Team 7 to meet at in the woods. He knew that Kakashi would be late but he figured that the one day he decided to show up late himself, Kakashi would be on time and grill him for it. With a sigh of discontent, Naruto rubbed his eyes and continued walking. It was strange, he had a weird sensation in his head, not pain, just... weird. Walking past the trees that were marked to show the way, Naruto saw his team mates Sakura and Sasuke and they were...
"Oh my shit!" Naruto screamed in outrage. There, in the small clearing, his arch-rival Sasuke and the love of his heart, Sakura, were making out the way only two pre-teens could. "Had Sakura done something to melt the ice around Sasuke's heart?" Naruto said aloud. "Wait, what the hell did I just say?" he spoke again, watching the display of awkward tonsil hockey. After a moment they took notice of him.
"Yo, Naruto-kun." Sasuke said with a small wave.
"You!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke, "and you!" he pointed at Sakura, "What the hell is going on here?!" he demanded.
"Didn't you hear, Sasu-kun and I are going out!" Sakura said, cheerfully.
"When did this happen...?" Naruto said, sorrow and disappointment replacing the anger and shock.
"Last night," Sasuke explained, "Saku-chan invited herself over. I made her a nice dinner, and when we finished, I pinned her onto the couch and we had sex! Do you know what this means!"
"...rape?" Naruto hazarded a guess.
"Naruto-baka!" Sakura said cheerfully.
"No silly, because I had sex with her and she didn't say 'no,' it obviously means tru luv!" Sasuke beamed. Before Naruto could make any protests, Kakashi walked into the scene, reading Cum Cum Paradise, as if it was grafted to his person. As if he could not live if this book was not in his hand. As if him and the book shared a symbiotic relationship; Kakashi got his rocks off, and the book was given a sense of fulfillment. As if the best way to characterize Kakashi was by having him read this fucking book, CONSTANTLY. Before Naruto could ask Kakashi the finer details about consensual sex, the jounin half-whispered to himself.
"Ah my dolfin, ware r u?"
"What the hell did you just say?" Naruto asked bluntly.
"lol, nothing ^_^;;" Kakashi replied.
"Wait... did you just... 'say' a facial expression?" Naruto asked, confused.
"hahaha silly baka. n e ways, no traning 4 2 day. I must find my dolfin." Kakashi said.
"Then why did you have us come here today?" Naruto asked, slightly distracted by Sasuke and Sakura's renewed make-out session. Kakashi opted to not answer and walked off to find his 'dolfin,' and the two love-birds continued to be oblivious to everything but one another. Confused and scared, Naruto ran back to Konoha.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ omg sene change lol
Meanwhile, in the desert, Garaa, Temari and Kankuro were standing on a sand dune. They had no reason to be there, its just like, hard to make stuff for them so its totally convinent to have them just be "in the desert" somewheres.
"Fuck its hot out." Kankuro stated the obvious, looking up at the blinding hot sun.
"Well, if you didn't dress liek a faggit black cat then there wouldn't be a problem you homo." Temari snaped back at him.
"You cunt." he replied.
"Both of you, stop being fags." Garaa said in a snarl.
"Garaa you little queer, you should like sleep and smile and shit. It's like you are a total dick for no real reason." Temari said, forgetting that their mother died to allow him the ability to
command sand, or the repeated attacks on his life, or the total alienation during his childhood.
"Haha Temari you showed the little fag." Kankuro laughed.
"Yea I did let's fuck." she replied.
"Sure."
As Kankuro and Temari began to do the nasty, Garaa's eyes bugged out as he watched his older siblings go at it.
"Oh snap sloppy seconds." he said, whipping out his junk and using his aformentioned sand powers to jerk him off.
ilol k R&R no flamez plz! Chappy 2 is coming soon!!!!!!/i
Naruto was rubbing his head every few moments as he walked to the point Kakashi had told Team 7 to meet at in the woods. He knew that Kakashi would be late but he figured that the one day he decided to show up late himself, Kakashi would be on time and grill him for it. With a sigh of discontent, Naruto rubbed his eyes and continued walking. It was strange, he had a weird sensation in his head, not pain, just... weird. Walking past the trees that were marked to show the way, Naruto saw his team mates Sakura and Sasuke and they were...
"Oh my shit!" Naruto screamed in outrage. There, in the small clearing, his arch-rival Sasuke and the love of his heart, Sakura, were making out the way only two pre-teens could. "Had Sakura done something to melt the ice around Sasuke's heart?" Naruto said aloud. "Wait, what the hell did I just say?" he spoke again, watching the display of awkward tonsil hockey. After a moment they took notice of him.
"Yo, Naruto-kun." Sasuke said with a small wave.
"You!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke, "and you!" he pointed at Sakura, "What the hell is going on here?!" he demanded.
"Didn't you hear, Sasu-kun and I are going out!" Sakura said, cheerfully.
"When did this happen...?" Naruto said, sorrow and disappointment replacing the anger and shock.
"Last night," Sasuke explained, "Saku-chan invited herself over. I made her a nice dinner, and when we finished, I pinned her onto the couch and we had sex! Do you know what this means!"
"...rape?" Naruto hazarded a guess.
"Naruto-baka!" Sakura said cheerfully.
"No silly, because I had sex with her and she didn't say 'no,' it obviously means tru luv!" Sasuke beamed. Before Naruto could make any protests, Kakashi walked into the scene, reading Cum Cum Paradise, as if it was grafted to his person. As if he could not live if this book was not in his hand. As if him and the book shared a symbiotic relationship; Kakashi got his rocks off, and the book was given a sense of fulfillment. As if the best way to characterize Kakashi was by having him read this fucking book, CONSTANTLY. Before Naruto could ask Kakashi the finer details about consensual sex, the jounin half-whispered to himself.
"Ah my dolfin, ware r u?"
"What the hell did you just say?" Naruto asked bluntly.
"lol, nothing ^_^;;" Kakashi replied.
"Wait... did you just... 'say' a facial expression?" Naruto asked, confused.
"hahaha silly baka. n e ways, no traning 4 2 day. I must find my dolfin." Kakashi said.
"Then why did you have us come here today?" Naruto asked, slightly distracted by Sasuke and Sakura's renewed make-out session. Kakashi opted to not answer and walked off to find his 'dolfin,' and the two love-birds continued to be oblivious to everything but one another. Confused and scared, Naruto ran back to Konoha.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ omg sene change lol
Meanwhile, in the desert, Garaa, Temari and Kankuro were standing on a sand dune. They had no reason to be there, its just like, hard to make stuff for them so its totally convinent to have them just be "in the desert" somewheres.
"Fuck its hot out." Kankuro stated the obvious, looking up at the blinding hot sun.
"Well, if you didn't dress liek a faggit black cat then there wouldn't be a problem you homo." Temari snaped back at him.
"You cunt." he replied.
"Both of you, stop being fags." Garaa said in a snarl.
"Garaa you little queer, you should like sleep and smile and shit. It's like you are a total dick for no real reason." Temari said, forgetting that their mother died to allow him the ability to
command sand, or the repeated attacks on his life, or the total alienation during his childhood.
"Haha Temari you showed the little fag." Kankuro laughed.
"Yea I did let's fuck." she replied.
"Sure."
As Kankuro and Temari began to do the nasty, Garaa's eyes bugged out as he watched his older siblings go at it.
"Oh snap sloppy seconds." he said, whipping out his junk and using his aformentioned sand powers to jerk him off.
ilol k R&R no flamez plz! Chappy 2 is coming soon!!!!!!/i