Rose awoke with a choked sob, tears running down her cheeks and dampening her pillow. It wasn't the first time she'd woken in tears, though it was getting far worse as of late. Swallowing thickly she slowly sat up, swiping the back of her hands underneath her stinging eyes and taking deep breaths in an effort to gain composure. There was hardly any point to it as more fresh, hot tears spilled over and fell soundlessly onto the duvet. She had woken like this almost every night since that day he left her. Again. Only this time he had left her with his duplicate, as if that made the harsh sting of abandonment hurt any less. Her heart ached at the thought of him and she bit her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. The physical pain seemed to help, though it paled in comparison to the pain she felt in her heart and mind.

Pull yourself together, Rose, she thought, retrieving a tissue from the box on her night stand and thoroughly wiping her eyes and cheeks before blowing her nose. That was easier said than done- after all she had loved him so very much- but she thought she was doing her very best considering the circumstances. He's not coming back and it's time you moved on with your life. But oh, how she longed to be on the T.A.R.D.I.S. with her Doctor, running throughout all of time and space saving the day and having such grand adventures.

Thinking back on all they had been through just made her hurt worse.

Time to get up and get a glass of water, I think. She knew that she wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon, and she really didn't want to. If she fell back asleep that same dream of her Doctor leaving her behind on that stupid beach would plague her again. No. It was better to get up now and tire herself out, and hopefully exhaustion would keep the dreams away. Pulling back the covers with a sigh, Rose slid out of bed and slipped on a pair of soft pink slippers. Looking down at her clock told her that it was just after two in the morning. It was a bit chilly and so she slid on a dressing gown and tied it at the waist before leaving her room and padding silently downstairs to the kitchen.

The light hum of the fridge filled her ears as she turned on the kitchen light, reminding her of the hum of the T.A.R.D.I.S., though she sounded far more beautiful. Rose gave a weak smile at the thought of the sentient old time ship, missing her almost as much as she missed the Doctor. The fridge gave a random loud pop as it settled, startling her from her thoughts. Rubbing at her sore eyes briefly, she walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a glass before filling it with water from the tap. She gulped the water down greedily, not realising how parched she was, and then refilled the glass and began to sip more slowly.

Once finished she placed the glass down and leaned back against the black marble countertop, counting the floor tiles as she wondered what she should do next. Could watch a movie or read a book, her brain supplied helpfully, but she didn't really feel like doing either of those things. She felt restless, her feet itching to run. To where? She didn't know, and supposed it didn't matter. It was a feeling she hated, wanting desperately to do something but not having the motivation for anything more than standing around moping. It was almost like how she had felt before she met the Doctor. Same meaningless existence, day in and day out. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

Of course, she had her job at Torchwood now as well as two loving parents and an adorable little brother who thought she was the center of the universe. She wasn't in short supply of friends either, her team at Torchwood inviting her out every weekend for drinks or a game night. Beans on toast and the Powell Estate had turned into scrumptious meals and a lavish mansion- courtesy of her father (or rather, step-father). Still, it just didn't seem like enough. Rose didn't want to be ungrateful, but this life paled in comparison to her old one among the stars.

"Penny for 'em?" A familiar voice interrupted her melancholy and she gave a startled squeak, not expecting anyone else to be up at this hour. She was thankful she was no longer holding the glass, else she might have dropped it.

Hazel eyes met chocolate brown and for a moment Rose could almost pretend this was her Doctor, but she looked away to focus on something- anything- else. This wasn't her Doctor, this was just his duplicate, his human duplicate. She picked at her nails anxiously as her gaze decidedly settled on the fruit bowl. "Just woke up and came down to get a glass of water," she told him, fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of her gown.

"Oh, it's just… you looked awfully lost in thought there, thought maybe you'd like to talk," he offered, moving to get his own glass of water. That was just another thing setting this Doctor apart from her Doctor, her Doctor never seemed to want to just talk. He had avoided deep conversations and feelings like the plague, dodging them and using too-wide smiles and incessant rambling as distraction.

"I'm just tired," she lied smoothly, feeling much like her Doctor in that moment. She didn't want to have deep and meaningfuls with this Metacrisis, too afraid that she would get far too attached- and the heartbreak would be too much when he eventually left her too. And he would. He might not have been her Doctor exactly, but like the original this Metacrisis would grow bored of this silly, mundane life. He would grow bored of her.

"Alright then, if you say so." Gods, why did he have to act like he cared? She wanted so desperately to open up to him, to tell him all about her dreams and her feelings and fears, and be enveloped in those long, strong arms. But she didn't. Because she couldn't allow herself to, and he was probably only pretending to care about her out of some sense of duty. Of course, he had whispered those three words she longed to hear back on the beach. He had told her how that sentence was going to end and they'd snogged each other almost senseless… but did he really love her? They were practically strangers. It just simply couldn't be possible that whatever her Doctor felt for her- which couldn't be that strong if he left her, she thought to herself bitterly- could be transferred over into this human duplicate, one that was technically part Donna.

It took her a moment to realise he was watching her, staring at her thoughtfully over his glass as he sipped his water. Her eyes betrayed her for a moment, taking in the sight of him in striped pajamas that didn't quite fit (they were borrowed from Pete) and his hair deliciously dishevelled from sleep. Gods, he was gorgeous. Every bit identical to the real Doctor and every bit as sexy. A good kisser too. If she had any less self control she would-

Stop it, she thought firmly. Better to end that train of thought right there. "Is there something on my face?"

"Oh, no," he responded, tearing his eyes away, "no, I just… sorry, I must still be tired or something. It's odd, trying to get used to being human, you lot need so much rest."

Rose didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed at the 'you lot' comment, as if he weren't one of her 'lot' now. He had the grace to look sheepish at least, as if he realised what he had said and how it might be considered a tad rude. Rude and not ginger, her brain supplied, and she crankily told it to shut up. She didn't need these random feelings of affection messing her about.

"Need to eat every day too. And shower regularly, brush your teeth daily… it's all new to me after living with superior Time Lord biology for the past nine hundred odd years," he continued, filling the silence. Another thing he had in common with the Doctor, he liked talking. Never seemed to stop if you gave him the chance. "Course I'm still a little bit Gallifreyan, don't quite need the eight hours most humans do and my senses are still top notch, but this whole one heart business and lack of respiratory bypass is just so strange. I don't know how humans do it."

Rose felt a little stab of pity for him. Technically being human was all this version of the Doctor had ever been, but if it was true that he had all the original Doctor's memories of course he would find being human a little out of the ordinary. He had been forced into existence, and then abandoned here just like her. "We've had all our lives to practice I guess."

The Metacrisis gave a small amused huff at that, accompanied by one of those handsome smiles. Instead of putting butterflies in her stomach, that smile only made her heart ache. "Yeah I guess you have. You'll just have to teach me I suppose."

She didn't know what to say to respond to that, wanting to refuse but at the same time not wanting to hurt his feelings. No matter how angry she was with the Doctor, his duplicate didn't deserve to be treated poorly. The silence between them became awkward, the tension almost thick enough to cut with a knife, and the Metacrisis rubbed at the back of his neck.

"I should um… I should probably get back to bed, I've got a day out with Tony and mum tomorrow so…" Rose told him, looking for any excuse to remove herself from the awkward situation. She wasn't lying about going out with her mum and little brother, but she knew she definitely wouldn't be going to sleep any time soon.

"Right, yeah," he responded, clearing his throat slightly, "me too. Sweet dreams, Rose."

"Night," Rose said quickly, escaping the kitchen and the one person in the house she wanted to avoid. He just reminded her too much of the Doctor. Heading back up the stairs, she entered her room and closed the door behind her. She leaned back against it and closed her eyes, taking in deep, calming breaths.

No matter how much her heart wanted to allow her to get closer to him, she couldn't let that happen.

Notes:

Hoooo boy, I haven't written a fanfic in years but a plot bunny struck me and it just wouldn't go away. Hopefully as this story goes along I can get into the flow of writing better and the quality improves (let's be honest, I am far from a professional writer). Having said that, I've fallen badly out of practice and so you'll have to forgive my errors. I currently don't have a beta or proof-reader of any kind and I'm quite thick when it comes to spotting mistakes… hooray!

If the formatting is a bit confusing I apologise and will take on board tips to make it easier to read. Any first-person sentences in italics are thoughts, and any stray words in italics are just me putting emphasis on the word.

This story is going to be a bit of a slow burn. I like taking time to develop character relationships so that in the end they feel much stronger, rather than just rushing head first into senseless fluff (although who doesn't love a bit of senseless fluff? ;) ).

Reviews are appreciated! I value what other people think and I also take on board prompts and suggestions although I do have most of this fic already planned out. I don't know how regular updates will be considering I'm a writing procrastinator and I'm currently in university, although my break is soon so I'll have more time to write then.