HI!! THIS GRILL ISN'T DEAD!!! EYY!! also I lowkey have 0 motivation for anything but EYY

so, what is this? its a drabble for an au I have- if you guys like this... I'll make a whole fic for this au and post it!!! yeah!! motivation! ! hype!! ok thats a lot of exclamation marks

also, the formatting might be odd because im posting this from mobile.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Be More Chill, only this weird au for it.

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Jeremy stared at the water flowing out of the tap. He didn't want to look into the mirror, too scared of what he'll see. "Oh, but you already know what's true." His voice rang in his ears. He didn't open his mouth though. Jeremy looked up, slowly, and took in a shakey breath. Of course, this always happens when he has a panic attack. God, why does he have to be a glowstick?! Even without the lights on, the room was lit up in an eerie electric blue light. Every time this happened, he only hated himself some more. Un. Fucking. Believable.

Jeremy hated everything about himself, from his stutter down to the way he always gets extra sweaty when he's nervous. But there's something even worse that he just can't handle.

His squip half.

That's right. He's been this way ever since, and he despises it. Weird powers, terrible abilities, and a voice constantly trying to control your life.

Why me? was a question he would often ask himself. He never got an answer. By the divine gods, he was born as a fucking freak, and nothing can change his opinion on that. It's how it's always been. All the bad things that happen to him are always his fault, or, at least he thinks so. He couldn't care less about what Michael says on that.

He used to be so happy.

Before the squip started to try and take control in 7th grade.

It may have lost, but he didn't want anyone to know his secret. So, he blocked everyone out.

"Optic Nerve Blocking, call it by it's proper name."

Jeremy jumped. Wait... god, he was getting sidetracked again. He checked his phone. 2:23AM. Having a panic attack when you can't call anyone for help is the best fucking thing in the world. Jeremy shivered and started to sob. Michael was up, he could tell by the way his forearms were burning. This is how Michael delt with things.

Jeremy should call him, distract them both.

But he didn't.

He couldn't.

What if Michael hated him for who he was?

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OWO aaaand cut! leave a comment if you want a whole fic! (or just favorite or something, I dont know)