Hesitation
[An excerpt for My Sweet Pup, for 7x09-7x10 AU – feel the need to clear this up. I tried to put it in one of the chapters in the main story that it diverged into two endings.]
Daryl woke up alone. Normally this wouldn't bother him; having slept alone a good majority of his life, but recently had become used to a warm body lying next to him. It took him a few moments to become alert, his senses picking up on the noises from the adjoining bathroom.
"Indra? You alright?"
The only reply that came was the sound of retching, and Daryl couldn't help but cringe. He had seen people be mangled, shot, decapitated, and eaten alive without batting an eye at it, of course it affected him, but those sounds she made of being in discomfort, disturbed him. Especially since he knew he couldn't take it away. Getting up he threw on the jeans he had discarded on the floor last night and ambled into the bathroom. He watched her seize up for a second, and he knew it was because she was embarrassed by her state. He took in the hair plastered to her face by sweat, and the way she gulped air through her mouth. She turned away, placing her head on the rim of porcelain. Chewing the inside of his cheek he got a washcloth and wet it, bending down with it to wipe her forehead.
"Thank you, Daryl."
He grunted in response, and felt his ears heat up when she smiled. He didn't know how it happened, how Indra had crawled inside of him until he cracked open, but she did, and he didn't hate it. It was odd to care for someone like this, yeah, he'd protect his family at all costs, but this, her, it surpassed tremendously and it faltered him. Maybe it was because he knew she felt the same way, the need to care for him. He looked away as she leaned back, taking the washcloth and wiping the sweat from her face and neck.
"I'm doing better. I was trying to get up early enough to go jogging with the soldiers –"
"I don't think ya need to be doing that just yet."
"I know, a day with the bow and arrows it is then."
He couldn't help but smile at that, she was good, better than good if he were to be honest, and it stunned him that she hadn't touched a bow since childhood. Saying she was taught from her granddaddy when she was able to tottle around.
"My grandfather loved to shoot, he was like Robin Hood to me I guess. He didn't steal from anybody or anything. He was just a good shot."
"Taught ya well."
Indra grinned at that. He still hadn't gotten used to her smiles, but he could tell how that prick had named her sunshine. Those smiles could set the woods on fire.
"Will you shoot with me?"
He nodded, putting his hands under her arms to help her stand. Indra turned in his grasp, making it hard for him to breathe. Shyly glancing to him, she brushed the strands away from his face, the touch alone making his skin crackle.
"Let me brush my teeth and we'll go."
"Need ta eat."
"Oh, well, I can meet you outside the mess area."
He snorted. "You need to eat too, woman."
She looked down. "I guess I should. Stomach's never up for it lately."
He felt you jerk a little as his hand went under her shirt, laying palm down on her stomach. To the untrained eye it would appear flat, but Daryl could see the slope starting to form - the slope containing a child, his child. There wasn't a doubt in his mind about that. And it made his insides squirm to think he had two lives to protect. He exhaled deep, as he was pulled to her, feeling hands touch the straggly hair on his neck. They stood like that for a minute, and he already felt empty when she pulled away to get a toothbrush. Letting her have some privacy, he sat at the foot of the bed and put on his boots. Done, he went to draw back the curtain to look out the window. Ezekiel had given the two of them a room on the upper floors of the main house, Daryl wasn't sure he liked that, in case of an attack, but it was good to have the view of the land. Many of the people were already up and about, the soldiers Indra had wanted to join making laps, people uncovering the crops so the frost wouldn't get them, some carrying barrels of laundry to hang on the community line.
"Ready?"
He nodded before turning. Her color was off, he didn't want to say anything though, she already knew it, but the image of her in bed – frail and delirious came up in his head. It faded as he felt her hands again, hesitant, before leaning up to kiss his cheek. Her whole face was red when she pulled away.
"Sorry, I was wanting to do that earlier, but with my breath, I wanted –"
He couldn't help but clench his fist, his nerves jumping. "Ya ain't got to apologize for that. You don't got to ask neither. Should know I don't mind it by now."
Indra nodded, letting him lead the way. He watched her struggled through breakfast. Those hiccups he got used to hearing before she puked coming up, but she didn't, swallowing the watery oats down.
"They don't taste bad."
"Hmm."
He couldn't help but look down when he saw her teeth flash. "Tell you what, you take your time, be contemplative, I'm going to have a head start and practice. Maybe we can compete to see who can hit the most targets when you're done."
He could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, the tension building since Rick and them left the both here, so he nodded, not wanting to bring her down because he was pissed.
"It'll be okay, Daryl."
He had ran into Morgan on his way out, his anger higher now, fucker not wanting to step up, saying Carol had ran away from all of them. She'd be the first one at that damn factory, guns blazing, if she knew what happened with them.
That's why she left.
Fuck him. It wasn't the people count they needed, what they needed was an armory. Rounding the corner, he made it to the archery grounds and saw Indra standing behind the young girl from yesterday. Poor girl had to use a stool to shoot, her legs somehow not functional. He watched Indra, position the bow in her arms, helping her tilt her body to pull the string back. Letting the arrow go, it hit close to the middle, the grin on both their faces showing it was an improvement. Heading closer he was stopped by one of the soldiers. Richard.
"Your girl's a good teacher."
Daryl stared at the man.
"I watched her for a little bit, she's a good shot. Glad to have someone who can teach the younger ones something. She told me you used to use a crossbow."
His eyes widened on that one, he didn't know how she knew about that.
"Found this, guess kept anyone from claiming it in case the right person came along."
He saw the weapon in the man's hand, holding it out to him like a peace offering. It wasn't his, but it was still a nice piece.
"Why ya think I want it?"
"Because we both want the same things."
Richard nodded towards you. "We want to keep the people we care about safe."
Taking the bow, Daryl hefted it in his arms, getting a feel for it.
"If you want I know a place to stake out, where their people come by all the time. We can get something done; get the King to see that we need to step up."
This is exactly the opening Daryl was looking for, he wanted to do something, he wanted this done and over with to get his family somewhere safe. Somewhere to raise the baby, he wanted to give the baby and Indra a home. He nodded to the soldier, asking for a minute as he walked to you.
"Hey."
Indra grinned at him. "Hey, I see you found the crossbow, ready to get whupped?"
He couldn't help but smile, it disappearing as he scratched his chin. "How'd ya know I could use one?"
She face froze, a look of shame crossing her eyes before turning back to the target. "Dwight. I-I know the one he has is yours. I'm sorry I didn't get it before coming."
"Don't be worryin' about that shit, got another one didn't I?"
She nodded, but didn't look satisfied. He stepped a little closer.
"Would ya be mad if I left for a while? Sumthing's come up that could help us."
He had gestured behind him where Richard was waiting and she looked over his shoulder at the man.
"You won't get hurt will you?"
"Try my best not to, Finch."
"Good. Yeah, it's fine, you can always lose another time."
The comment made him snort. He could tell Indra was disappointed, just finding each other and him up and leaving already, but he knew she understood.
"We'll see, woman, stay in town, don't get into any trouble."
"Same to you."
He wasn't sure what to do, he wasn't good with affection, but he wanted to ease her. He could kiss her, hug her, something, hell a handshake might be okay, instead he left with a nod, finally getting out of Ezekiel's damn insane asylum.
It was after dark when he got back, and if he were honest with himself he was a little afraid to go to bed. He was still reeling from the day's events. Richard's plan to kill the Saviors and having their deaths pinned on Carol, actually finding Carol, out in a little cottage in the woods like she was fucking Goldilocks or something. When he had knocked on the door he had wanted to be mad at her, furious, turning tail and running, turning her back on them. But when he saw her he broke down, everything tumbling, his best friend, one of the very few people to see him with his guard down. He couldn't tell her about Glenn and Abraham, couldn't tell her any of the bad stuff, instead opting out and telling her about Indra.
"So Daryl Dixon is off the market?"
He nodded, putting another heap of stew in his mouth.
"She's one lucky girl."
He didn't know about that, though he knew better than to argue.
"I feel pretty damn lucky too. You gonna come around more?"
"I don't know, Daryl."
"Better, when she has the baby –"
Carol had choked then, sputtering before laughing, her eyes rounder than he'd ever seen.
"A baby? You're having a baby? My God, Daryl, I never thought I'd hear that. Congratulations."
"Thanks, maybe I could bring her out here, you two can talk, something. Neither of us are sure what we're doing."
"You will, like hunting, you get instincts for it."
"Hmmm."
"I'm so happy for you, Daryl, you treat her well, and have her treat you the same, I'll come after one of you if you don't."
"Wouldn't mind ya to any damn way."
She kept hugging him after that, in as much disbelief as him, not only did he have someone, but she was giving him a child. Now he was sitting in front of a tiger's cage, watching it watch him as it stalked up and down the small enclosure.
"I didn't expect to find you in here."
He turned seeing Indra in the doorway, a little sheepish, as she held a bucket of what had to be meat.
"Can't leave this damn cat alone can ya?"
She smiled, knowing he was teasing. He had noted how enthralled she had been the moment she stepped into the theater and saw the massive tiger.
"I was worried about you."
"Sorry, after going out, I went to look for my friend."
"Carol?"
He nodded.
"Did you find her?"
He nodded again, and though it was solemn, he felt relief.
"I'm glad. I could tell it hurt you not knowing how she was. So did everything go well?"
He shrugged going over and taking the bucket for her. It was then Shiva rubbed herself against the bars between the two of them, purring until Daryl reached out and pet her.
"Kindred spirits."
He didn't understand, looking up at her and seeing tears in her eyes.
"Don't cry, only a damn cat."
Indra laughed, tears spilling as she propelled herself to him.
"I'm so sorry, Daryl."
"What you got to be sorry for?"
"Keeping you in a cage for so long, I feel so ashamed about that. If I hadn't taken so long to just decide the right thing, or if I could've made you leave. You wouldn't have had to suffer so much and for that I'm sorry."
Though part of his brain told him to stay froze, the other part won out and he went to her, pulling Indra close to him as his chin rested on her head.
"What'd I tell you before Finch? Told ya it was up to me when I wanted to go. You didn't do nothing wrong, you were the only thing there worth a damn."
"Never again, Daryl, no matter what I won't let it happen again. I know I can't choose sides but when it comes to you and our family, I'm going choose you ever single time. No matter what."
He wasn't used to this. Someone choosing him over everything else, he liked it, at the same time being terrified.
"I'll choose you too, Finch."
He looked down at her, intrigued at how the remaining tears magnified her eyes.
"I know we're still getting to know each other, and I know you're not much for PDA and all that, but I do love you Daryl. My sweet wolf."
He snorted, feeling daring enough to pull her hips closer to his. "Careful there Finch, wolves get hungry ya know?"
He paused a minute, his teeth clicking in anxiety. "I love ya, too. Don't forget that."
He watched as if in a daze as she leaned up, lips touching his, and he felt his body go lax. It went on for a few minutes, letting himself feel his way around her, figuring out how far he could go before a low growl was heard next to them. Daryl looked at the tiger, lying on its front paws as it continued to grumble. He turned back when he heard a giggle.
"If a couple were making out in front of my window I suppose I wouldn't be happy either. Maybe we should go home?"
He weighed down on that question. Home? Here? Feeling Indra against him, every bone and muscle relaxed in this embrace, placing his face in her hair to inhale the scent. Yeah he was home, because he was with her.