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Depths and Heights
"My, my. Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
Her voice drew him in like the song of a mermaid - she was dangerous and fierce, and he couldn't keep himself from walking straight into her trap. He could never quite pinpoint what made her so damn attractive to him. She was wearing muggle clothes and no makeup, with her dark hair in a hasty ponytail... and he still found her striking.
Not that it was such a bad thing.
"The one and only Erika Bell. It's been way too long, yet you're still looking way too good. Why don't you come in?"
She did as told, giving him time to keep his composure. It was her, and she looked just the same. Maybe a little bit thinner and paler. However, her flickering hazel eyes gave him an up-and-down stare, joined by her mocking half-smile. Both seductive and curious, he reckoned, so he knew she still possessed her carefree soul and flammable spirit.
She looked around his studio apartment. There was only one couch, so it was the place she chose to get comfortable in.
"Thanks for letting me show up on such a short notice. I hope I'm not imposing." He smiled and waved his hand as if to indicate it didn't matter. He must've been used to her rash decisions, she thought. "So this is where you ran away to raise wild beasts?"
"As you can see."
"How is that going?"
For all response he rolled up his sleeves, showing her a few scars. He'd been working with dragons for nine years already.
"Sounds lovely," she said while raising her eyebrows.
"It is. Just yesterday we caught the largest Longhorn we've ever seen."
"Really?"
"Yes, and last week my team - wait, you don't care about any of this, you're just making small-talk to try to be nice."
"Charlie, you're being unfair. I haven't talked to you properly in years." This statement was followed by a long pause. He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you got me. I don't know or understand a single thing about dragons. But I'm honestly glad you're doing fine."
"I hope you are too. What are you up to these days?"
"Working as a Quidditch Editor for The Prophet."
She didn't say more and, for the first time ever, silence between then was awkward. It was as if she was holding herself back.
He looked for a topic of conversation. He vaguely remembered that she had two older brothers. They never attended Hogwarts, so he assumed they were squibs and never really showed interest.
"How are your brothers?"
"Martin is married to a sweet muggle girl, and Claude is dead." Well, that was awkward. "Some Death Eaters thought it would be funny to go kill a squib. What can I tell you, Charlie? No one believes me when I say he was a wizard, and Martin is one too."
He didn't know what to say to that. Squibs were a delicate subject within the Wizarding Community. He also knew better than to ask her about his own family. Charlie had never thought less of Erika for sleeping around (and with him, of course) but his family did.
His unsettling thoughts came back to him - he couldn't help the feeling something was amiss. Erika's demeanor was aloof, as if the current conversation was a mere bridge to what really mattered.
"Erika, is there something going on? I know you didn't come all the way to see me in person just because you missed me."
"But I did miss you, dear." Her tone and the term of endearment poked fun at him.
"I know, but that's not the only thing that drove you here."
She breathed deep and let out a loud sigh.
"Okay then. I'm going to drop the bomb, so get ready for some shocking news." She let her words sink in while Charlie wondered what could be so hard to digest. "Are you ready?"
"What is it?"
"Charlie, this will come as a shock for you."
"Speak, woman. Now I'm curious."
"Remember the last night before you came to live here?"
How could he forget?It was the last time they slept together - she snuck into his parents' house and they had to be quiet as death. It always intrigued him how, after all the girls he'd been with, Erika was by far the best he'd ever had. The chemistry between them had been too good to handle or explain.
It was a pity she hadn't want to join him in Romania - she was far too attached to her family to think of leaving them permanently. Charlie was an unattached, independent guy and he had always been.
"Long story short, you have a daughter."
It took him a while to grasp her words. His jaw dropped. Then he panicked. He didn't want a wife, or children, or any other responsibilities other than his job. And here he was, a dad without even knowing it.
He counted the years. The kid must be eight by now, and Erika had hid her all along.
"Why now?" was all he could mutter.
"I'm sorry?"
"Why are you telling me just now?"
"Charlie, don't panic. I don't expect you to step in as her father, or anything, really."
"But I must." It was what every well-brought-up guy should do. He didn't want to, but he must. He owed it to Erika. They were great friends, so it could work...
"Please, no. Believe it or not, the two of us are happy going like this. You'll tell me that you'd love her, but you wouldn't and we don't need your pity."
Erika's comment stung. And it stung because she was right.
"I'm only telling you because my cousin threatened to tell your family if I didn't talk to you. She doesn't know youand she doesn't understand. She thought it was unfair for a father not to know her daughter. I want to be angry at her, but I can't."
"Why don't you want my family to know?" He was confused.
"It would make her feel alienated. Your family hates me. They wouldn't be glad to have a squib child as family - a childyou don't even care for. They'd like it even less if it was my daughter. I was never able to shake the feeling that your mother thought of me as your little slut, and nothing more."
He felt pure rage rise to his head.
"That's-"
"True, Charlie. It's the pure truth. I am a slut, but as far as I'm concerned, in a twisted way, I've always been yours."
Erika sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. After that awkward conversation, Charlie offered to take her out. She'd brought appropriate clothes... she tried to think it was because of how unpredictable he could be. In reality, it was all just wishful thinking.
She didn't want her daughter to get in the way of their friendship. She knew that Charlie would've stepped in if she'd wanted him to, but it would've been a bad idea. Eighteen-year-old Charlie hadn't been equipped to raise, love and care for a daughter, and twenty-six-year-old Charlie was much less equipped. Amy didn't need a dad that would forever resent her.
Erika had given up on her Quidditch dream, but she'd done so willingly. True, she'd cried and been resentful at first, but after eight years she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Amy was such a joy. She couldn't believe now that she'd thought of abortion until her brother, Claude, convinced her to abandon the idea. Her parents didn't like this one single bit, but when they saw their granddaughter couldn't help but love her and spoil her instantly. Martin and his wife were even excited that their twin girls would have a little cousin to play with. Erika and Amy had the strongest support system they could wish for.
There was also Katie. Her cousin was one of her favorite people in the world. She was twenty and as innocent as Erika was brazen. She had threatened to reveal her secret only because Erika broke down about needing Charlie's support and understanding, when Claude was murdered a few months earlier. Erika was half angry, half grateful at 'the little brat's meddling' but in the end, she wanted Charlie in her life... just not in their daughter's.
Single parenthood had been difficult, frustrating and too much to take sometimes. But it was worth it. She was raising a healthy girl that could live the life she hadn't been able to.
After being satisfied with her image, she stepped out of the bathroom. Seeing Charlie lying relaxed on the couch, his red hair unruly and his torso stark naked, Erika couldn't resist the temptation to taunt him like she used to. It was natural for her to be flirtatious, and being around him definitely brought out that side. She'd always wanted to make him want her even though she knew he always did.
"Hey pretty boy, how does this look on me?"
She pushed her hip to one side to accentuate her curves. He looked at her and whistled appreciatively. His eyes examined insolently her tight-fitting black dress, down her legs and her nine-inch stilettos. They were red; his favorite color.
"You like them, don't you?" she said playfully.
"It's the wearer I'm appreciating, but yes, they're wonderful shoes. Now take them off before you hurt yourself."
"Hurting myself? I'm the best at walking on heels, Charles. Don't underestimate me."
"We're going to ride a dragon, love. You might wish to change your whole attire."
She huffed and threw herself on the couch. Ride a dragon? Well that was new. She hadn't even been on a broom in ages. A dragon?
"Damn, you're unfair. I spent a grand total of two hours getting pretty for you."
He half-smiled. They used to banter like this back when they were best friends. Longing to leave the bad moments behind, it was easy to just slip into their past roles.
"Oh, and it was very well worth it." He winked, and she felt her blood boil in a way she wasn't all that unfamiliar with.
Thinking of his demeanor while changing her clothes made her lightheaded. No matter how many years had passed, Charlie Weasley could still make her burn with desire.
"How are you?"
"Strapped in a leather harness on a dangerous creature, without any possibility of movement. In one of your uniforms, which are huge on me. Hoping I'll make it alive and come back home safe to my daughter. Does that answer your question?"
Charlie's uniforms were made to resist fire, water, wind, claws and pretty much everything. He'd insisted she wear it instead of any of her clothes.
"Yes. That's good to hear."
The dragon had let Charlie place bridles and harnesses on him. Erika felt it was eerie for such a savage creature to be so complying to have a rider. It was a small pearly white dragon whose thorns had been removed in their majority, to make him apt to carry a rider.
"We brought this baby from New Zealand. He's relatively tame and he ate two hours ago so he won't attack. He gets really antsy when he can't fly for a long period of time. It's taking a long while for him to adapt, so we have to take him out frequently or we might wake up to find the whole shelter burning. It's my turn to care for him today."
For a tiny fraction of a second, Erika wished he would like children as much as he liked dragons. But she dismissed the thought. If Charlie liked children, he wouldn't be the Charlie that attracted him so.
"Why isn't he resisting?"
"He's learned two things - that resistance is futileand being fed is more convenient than hunting in the wild. He knows the reserve is his home. We've never worked with Antipodean Opaleyes before, but we might have stumbled upon a kind of dragon we might be able to tame."
He took of his wand and pronounced a spell that made a deafening sound, much like an explosion. This scared the dragon into taking flight.
Mechanisms to ride a dragon were primitive. Charlie opted to not tell Erika he couldn't actually steer the creature most of the time. He flew wherever he wanted to. This dragon luckily understood he could only survive in the shelter, so no major efforts were needed to get him back there. Other than that, they were definitely in for a wild ride.
"Must my whole body really be tied to him?" Up to her waist, she was tied against the dragon's neck. Her arms were free to move and her head free to turn, but that was it. Behind her, Charlie held the reins with one hand, trying to keep them away from Erika so they wouldn't bother her.
"If it's too uncomfortable, I'll loosen it up on your back. But it's your first time riding a dragon - I shouldn't be even taking you."
She hated to admit it, but as they ascended, she was starting to enjoy it. She was familiar with the chilly wind whistling past her from all the years she played Quidditch. And the view was absolutely stunning. It was late night, but in the Romanian summer, the sun was just setting. They were flying between mountains, over a lake, and the orange light reflected on it making the place seem set in a fairytale.
"Retezat Mountains," he said to her ear. "This is Bucura Lake. Isn't it gorgeous?"
Charlie thought of telling her this dragon was naturally drawn to valleys like that one, but he knew she didn't care.
"Please release me! I want to sit straight!"
He twisted the reins around his arm and quickly worked her harness. She sighed contentedly when awarded with freedom. Even though she couldn't still move her legs, now she could really look around.
Oh yes. It was absolutely beautiful. The dragon flew faster than any broom ever could, so all those mighty mountains rushed past her in flashes of deep green. The dragon was getting closer to the water, probably to have a drink or a dive, and Erika felt the familiar sensation of vertigo as he descended sharply.
"He's going to go in, and there's nothing I can do about it!" said Charlie.
She had only enough time to cast a Bubble-Head Charm on both of them before water engulfed them. The creature was as fast in water as it was on air. She was fascinated by the emptiness and blueness around her. Only when her eyes got used to it she did see fish and larger creatures, plants and suddenly a thud, and the dragon had reached the bottom.
It used the impulse to fly back up and, as quick as they'd gotten in, they were out. Erika checked her clothes - she was almost completely dry. This was just wonderful.
"Good thinking!" He said; his voice muffled from the Charm. Not once had he thought of using it during the dragon's long dives. Then again, it's not a charm he ever mastered.
Sunset and twilight was spent between the depths and heights. At some point, when darkness was setting in, the creature slowed down. It seemed to be tired, and Charlie was certain there would be no more water for them today. He removed the spell Erika had imposed.
They could now gaze at a sky entirely covered by stars. Erika thought she was dreaming. She was certain there weremore white dots than empty black up above, and for the first time, she felt the full power of the universe's enormity and her insignificance hit her.
The moon seemed to be smiling.
"Amy would love to be here," she said. She didn't have to yell to be heard anymore, and she was thankful for it.
"Who?"
"Amy, our daughter. She loves animals, much like you, and is absolutely environment-conscious. You rarely see a child so serious about her surroundings like she is."
In spite of himself, he found that he wanted to know more about his daughter. Even if he couldn't bring himself to think of this unknown girl as his, it was Erika's. So he must know.
"How old is she?"
"She just turned eight."
"What does she look like?"
"Red hair, brown eyes, lots of freckles. But she actually looks like me, or so everyone says. Why the sudden interest?"
"Well, you're riding a dragon. I thought it was just fair I showed interest in return." She giggled, understanding his true intentions behind his joke.
"You're pure evil, Charles Weasley. And this dragon-riding thing is quite awesome."
He laughed. He suddenly felt euphoric, so he laughed louder. He always felt free when he was up in the air, but being there with Erika...
He'd missed her. He now recognized it. He was dreadful at keeping in touch, but that didn't mean he didn't care. The people he loved, he always kept close to his heart. She was one of them - she would always be. There was friendship, there was attraction, there was common ground... In short, there was pure chemistry.
Was it possible that he loved her? It wasn't the first time he'd asked himself that question. He did many years ago. He did whenever he could get a quick catch-up with her in England. Had he ever loved Erika Bell?
His arms went up to surround her on their own accord. He leaned his chin on top of her shoulder. She shuddered, feeling her body heat up again. With only one touch. She felt like a teenager, reckless, young, unstoppable.
"What do I owe that for?"
"I'm just glad you came."
"I'm glad to be here too. I just... I thought this was going to be such a disagreeable visit. And sure, it had its moments, but I forgot how much fun I have with you. Hell, I'm actually riding a killing machine! This has Charlie Weasley written all over it, and I love it."
They didn't say anything else until they were back to the reserve, almost an hour later. Erika was still transfixed by what she had just witnessed. Charlie respected her silence with empathy and delight.
As soon as they'd walked into his apartment, he'd pinned her against the door and kissed her fiercely. She responded back immediately, forgetting what composure meant. The magic of the night and silences shared had made their chemistry resurface stronger than it ever was.
He broke apart way too soon for her, feeling he'd overstepped boundaries. Her whole demeanor seemed to be specially designed, manipulated to seduce him. That was an art he knew all too well. But he wondered if he had been wrong this time.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"Shut the hell up and fuck me, Charlie Weasley."
His pupils dilated while his whole being reacted. Charlie's body knew Erika's way too well, and he knew exactly how to use her so she would die of pleasure. And so he did to her, while she tried to keep up with such a passionate man. It had always been like this, but Charlie always thought that her own kind of passion was exactly what he needed; she was depths and heights and everything that was beautiful.
Tucked in bed and sharing a post-sex cigarette, they both found there was nothing else to be said.
She'd arranged Portkeys there and back via the Department of Magical International Cooperation, but she'd missed the Portkey back due to a heavy case of oversleeping. She now had to go to the Romanian Ministry and get paperwork done so she could use the Floo Network to the English Ministry and from there to her destination. It didn't cost her any money this way, but doing international travel via Floo Network was such a pain that no one ever did it. Arranging Portkeys could take weeks...
Long story short, she now stood on Katie's chimney, praying that she could come up soon with a good excuse. Katie had luckily been free to take care of Amy, but her stare pierced her, as if she'd done something terribly wrong.
"I'm so sorry I'm late to pick up Amy, I just-"
"You had sex with him."
So that was all she was mad about? She wondered how Katie noticed, but she didn't pay much attention. Maybe there was a hickey she failed to conceal.
She took her time to light a cigarette. Katie wrinkled her nose. Oliver didn't like anyone smoking in the apartment they shared, but since he wasn't around, she didn't say anything. She just summoned a dish for Erika to use as ashtray.
"Yes, I did have sex with him," she said finally.
"I thought you were supposed to tell him he has a daughter..."
"And I did."
"I still say you didn't have to go all the way there. You could've written him a letter. Did you really have to go over to Romania and fuck him in the process?" Erika raised her eyebrows while blowing out smoke. It wasn't like Katie to use swear words.
"No, that was just a bonus. Awesome sex. You were the one concerned about our friendship."
"How will that work out for you? You can't just tell a man that he has a daughter, do him and then keep the friendship going like nothing happened."
"But that's me and Charlie, Kate. I mean, why not? Making him come to England to act like a father would ruin everything. You were right - this made me lose all touch with him when I needed him there, when Claude... when Claude died. But now we're going to try to make this friendship work the best we can."
Katie sighed. She was sometimes at a loss in front of Erika, for she knew her to be a devastating force. Even being twenty-six and not even having a daughter could stop her wildness. It sometimes worried her.
"Erika, I'm not your mother. I won't tell you that you should settle down. I can't pretend to know what's best for you, but I can't help but wonder why you keep just... walking with no aim in this world."
"My aim is to provide the best future for Amy I can. I don't need a man to do that. I've made a lot of sacrifices, yes. So my point has more validity – why can't I find enjoyment in my own way? Why can't I do what I want with whoever I please?"
"This isn't about that. As long as you're happy and Amy's happy, I'll keep my mouth shut. But it's Charlie Weasley we're talking about. I can't help but feeling that you can't just shut him out like that, while still wanting to go back to when you were seventeen and everything was fine and dandy."
"Katie, you don't know him. You don't know what went on between us. I mean... Look at yourself. You love Oliver. To you, he's the perfect man. Even when you didn't see each other for years, you still managed to get back together. You're lucky. For some of us it just doesn't work that way."
"Well, Erika, did you ever love Charlie?"
That was a good question - one she'd always asked herself. She enjoyed his company more than anyone else's, enough to still want him close after so many years apart. With Charlie there was only fire red, laughter, shared thoughts and it was more than enough. No butterflies, no actual romantic thoughts. No resenting the distance.
No, when she truly loved something -or someone- it wasn't so easy for her to let go. Erika and Charlie were equals, in a way, and it seemed to make them like two halves of a whole that was always invisibly connected. There wasn't love, but the mutual understanding, the chemistry and friendship reached unimaginable depths.
"I think of Charlie as my other half, maybe even my soulmate. But I don't think I love him romantically - people with our adventurous ways aren't really built for loving. I've tried to date other people, you know this, and Merlin, they were so damn boring! All I had to do when I got tired of them was mention Amy. They'd freak out, I got to fuck them one last time and it was all over. But did you know how Charlie react?"
"Please do tell."
"He offered to step in. When I refused, he understood. He asked me questions about her. Oh, did I mention that we actually went on a dragon ride? It was fantastic."
Katie sighed, again perplexed. She wanted to yell at Erika that she couldn't have her teenage years back, no matter how hard she tried. In her opinion, her cousin was being too reckless; she was wandering too much.
Erika took the silence as the end of the conversation.
"Where is Amy, by the way?"
"Oh right. Amy. She's asleep in my room, but before you see her there's something you must know..."
"Everything alright with her?"
Katie started to speak hurriedly. "Yes, she's fine. But I had to have a chat with her teacher. She didn't want to talk to me because, well, I'm barely and adult and I'm not her mother. But I told her you were away and would come soon to solve the issue and she spoke. Amy had a tough day in school... some girls made fun of her red hair and..."
"She has gorgeous hair."
"Yes, well, I agree but these girls don't seem to think so. They mortified her so that she hid in the girls' bathroom to cry. When she came out... look at her for yourself."
Erika left her cigarette on the dish and almost ran to Katie's room. Amy was peacefully sleeping in the very middle of the king-size bed. Only there was something off with her. Something looked very wrong. She got nearer, taking between her fingers a lock of her soft hair.
It was impossibly black.
"Katie, how did this happen?"
"Wizarding kids can't control their magic when they're sad, angry or distressed. I'd say your daughter was all three today. Her teacher was scandalized, but what could I say? I had to pretend to be shocked and take her away."
Her heart felt light with relief, surprise and joy. She didn't love her daughter any less when she thought her a squib, but she knew Amy would adore Hogwarts much more than she would a muggle High School.
"Did you tell her she's a witch?"
"No, you're her mother. It's your job. She was so irritated no one believed her, so I told her I believed her and that you would get home and talk to her. I told her I wasn't mad and that you wouldn't be. We waited for you, but when you didn't show up I took her to the movies. I bought her ice cream afterward. We got here an hour ago."
"Thanks for taking such good care of her."
"Always a pleasure." She looked at the girl and smiled. "I've got to hand it to you, Erika. You've given Amy such a safe, happy childhood that she didn't need to show magic until this late. I'm proud of you."
Erika smiled. Katie's recognition made her feel humble.
"Also, she doesn't want her red hair back..."
"It's a pity. But it's her choice and I respect her."
"Yes, yes. I know you do. But listen. I told her that she should consider it because her dad might -I swear I said might- have been a red-haired man. Do you know what she said? She said 'I don't know daddy. But I love mommy and she loves me back. I want to be like her when I grow up.'"
Erika's heart just melted of cuteness overload. She tried to fight it to no avail.
"Well, I do hope she doesn't turn out to be a slutty single mother at the age of eighteen. I hope that she finds what she's looking for... or that she at least knows what she's looking for. But that is indeed touching."
Katie laughed and the sound made the girl shift in her sleep and open her eyes briefly. Erika waved her hand hi, though she knew Amy wouldn't register this.
Looking at her daughter's sleeping body, more than one doubt assaulted Erika. If she introduced her to the Weasleys, they would welcome and accept her. But she couldn't do that. She was still hated among that crowd, and it would place Charlie in a compromising situation...
Charlie. Erika hadn't seen him when she left, for he had woken up early to work. He'd fallen asleep before her the previous night. Erika's eyes had been wide open, doubting herself and the choice of telling Charlie about Amy. Katie had asked too and she'd agreed it would be for the best, but she was having second thoughts. She opted not to tell Katie that she had taken her wand out and pointed it at him, wanting to erase Amy from his mind...
But when she was about to do it, Erika thought things over very carefully before making a decision for the first time in her life.
Notes:I missed writing suspenseful endings. To be honest, this sort of dramatic, soap-opera-like sort of writing stopped being my cup of tea ages ago. Oh well. This is what came out.
This was for The One Night Stand Competition, as well as the Artistic Gymnastics event of the Olympic Games in the HPFC Community. In one I had to depict a one night stand of any sort, and someone giving one of the guilty parties a hard time about it. In the other I had to characterize an OC. In my head, Katie has an older cousin called Erika. She's in Charlie's year, they played Quidditch together all their lives, and she's who gets little Katie playing Quidditch. I've used her as a secondary character many times - it was time to get her under the spotlight.
Thanks to MissingMommy for proofreading this!
Please leave some reviews. They help. Thanks.
-Karyn.