Disclaimer: nothing is mine. no sue.
Note: erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....heh heh?
Cyanide Snowflakes
Ginny Weasly whistled as she wandered down the corridors of Hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry. She didn't know what she was whistling, but she was whistling. And thinking. Yes, the young red head was whistling, walking and thinking AT THE SAME TIME. (Isn't she amazing, folks? So multi-talented! I can't do all that myself...)
Anyhow, she was walk, whistling and thinking. She was thinking about two very specific things. What very specific things, you might ask? Why snowflakes, or course. It was snowing outside-heavily, and so Ginny thought of snowflakes. And cyanide. Now, don't ask me why she was thinking of cyanide, 'cause I don't know. But she was.
So, Ginny walked down the hall, whistling and thinking of snowflakes and cyanide. Nice soft, cold snowflakes and yummy poisenous cyanide. Or was it nice soft cold cyanide and yummy poisenous snowflakes? She shook her head slightly, her whistling wavering dangerously as she did, and her thought obediently sorted themselves out. Yes, she was right the first time-snowflakes were nice soft and cold and cyanide was poisenous and yummy.
"Hey, Weasy brat!" An unidentified voice that sounded suspiciously like Bill Gates on pot pulled Ginny out of her thoughts-just as she was getting to understand them too! What a shame....."Quit that damned whistling! It ain't music class, ya know?"
Ginny's face scrunched up in a cute epitome of a pout. "Hey, I can whistle if I want!" she shouted back at the mean Bill Gates-on-pot sounding guy. To prove her point, the young witch pursed her lips and began to whistle again.
"Dumb bitch," the person who sounded like Bill Gates on pot muttered and promptly left her alone.
He left her alone, but his words stung her. And that is when two wires in Ginny's brain that were never meant to be crossed, crossed. Her eyes went cross-eyed briefly before shutting and her whistling faultered.
When the young witch opened her eyes again, a grin spread on her face. "Mmmm...." she muttered, turning, as though in a trance and starting down the hall towards the Griffindor Tower. "Cyanide snowflakes..."
The zombie-like girl wandered to the Griffindor Tower and told the fat lady to either "Open up or face the wrath of my noodle." Terrified, the painting allowed Ginny to enter.
Inside the Griffindor Tower, all the members of the Griffindor house were crowded around Hermione and some nameless first year, who were in the middle of a cat fight (which was over a very cute vacuum cleaner, who was secretly in love with Ron, but would never admit to being a gay vacuum cleaner). The noise of the cheering was deafening, so Ginny slipped past unnoticed.
The red haired girl wandered up to the room that her brothers, Feorge and Greg-no, thats Fred and George-stayed. She went inside and straight to one of her brother's trunks. Opening it, she began rooting through it, throwing her brother's stuff on the ground without care.
Near the bottom of the trunk, hidden under an uninflated inflatable doll(O.o) she found what she was looking for-a large, amber colored bottle filled the cyanide. She laughed evilly and left the room, bottle in hand, not bothering to pick up the things she had scattered.
Ginny headed back to her room, which was empty, and went immediatly to the window. Opening the window, she peered outside. Snow was still falling heavily, blanketing the ground below her with it's thick whiteness.
Lying on his back in the snow, making a snow devil, was the ugly boy who sounded like Bill Gates on pot. Since he was lying on his back, he saw Ginny stick her head out the window.
"Hey Ginny, brat!" he called up to her, grinning brightly. "Finally stopped whistling I hear!"
Ginny considered, her face scrunching up with the effort. "Yup!" she called back after a full five minutes. "And don't call me Ginny-me new name is Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink!"
The Bill Gates-on-pot guy snickered. "Riight."
Very haughtily, Ginny-er...Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink-nodded. "Glad you agree, my loyal ice cube." Bill Gates On Pot Boy (as he will now be known as) stared at her blankly. Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink smiled back with all the sweetness she could muster and promptly poured the cyanide out the window, on to poor Bill Gates On Pot Boy.
"Look!" Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink said brightly, grinning to show the fangs in her mouth that had magically appeared to replace her teath. "It's snowing cyanide!"
Bill Gates On Pot Boy opened his mouth to yell something in reply, but instead got a face-and mouth-full od cyanide and snowflakes.
Now, there is a little known chemical rule that goes as follows: If cyanide and snowflakes are mixed. Run away. If they are then eaten, take a motorcycle-or anything fast available. Now, Ginny-er...Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink-didn't know this rule. So she didn't run, and she didn't gat a motorcycle. So she was watching, with some odd sense of glee, as Bill Gates On Pot Boy imploded, leaving a black champain flute in his place.
No one else seemed to notice the puff of poisenous black and yellow smoke or the loud, manical laugh that accompanied the transformation. In fact, Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink barely notices either, because she poked her head back inside as soon as Bill Gates On Pot Boy ate the dangerous concoction that she had kinda, sorta, not really not meant to create.
And that was the end of Bill Gates On Pot Boy. And as for Ginny-er....Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink, well she dyed her hair barbie-doll pink and married Lord Voldemort (who was re-named as Lord Commander in chief Roget Twinkle-toes slappy and all too happy voldemort the smelly) and lived happily ever after.
The moral of this story is never to read anything written by a bored, writer's block-plagued blacktears on the day of her mother's fancy dinner party where her entire goal for the evening is to freak out the guests and get drunk, but the guests aren't showing up so she can't freak them out and her mother hasn't opened the wines or vodka or champain yet so all the alcohol that is open in the house is rubbing alcohol, which tastes like straight scotch which she hates with a passion. The end.
Note: erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....erm........erm.......erm.....heh heh?
Ginny Weasly whistled as she wandered down the corridors of Hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry. She didn't know what she was whistling, but she was whistling. And thinking. Yes, the young red head was whistling, walking and thinking AT THE SAME TIME. (Isn't she amazing, folks? So multi-talented! I can't do all that myself...)
Anyhow, she was walk, whistling and thinking. She was thinking about two very specific things. What very specific things, you might ask? Why snowflakes, or course. It was snowing outside-heavily, and so Ginny thought of snowflakes. And cyanide. Now, don't ask me why she was thinking of cyanide, 'cause I don't know. But she was.
So, Ginny walked down the hall, whistling and thinking of snowflakes and cyanide. Nice soft, cold snowflakes and yummy poisenous cyanide. Or was it nice soft cold cyanide and yummy poisenous snowflakes? She shook her head slightly, her whistling wavering dangerously as she did, and her thought obediently sorted themselves out. Yes, she was right the first time-snowflakes were nice soft and cold and cyanide was poisenous and yummy.
"Hey, Weasy brat!" An unidentified voice that sounded suspiciously like Bill Gates on pot pulled Ginny out of her thoughts-just as she was getting to understand them too! What a shame....."Quit that damned whistling! It ain't music class, ya know?"
Ginny's face scrunched up in a cute epitome of a pout. "Hey, I can whistle if I want!" she shouted back at the mean Bill Gates-on-pot sounding guy. To prove her point, the young witch pursed her lips and began to whistle again.
"Dumb bitch," the person who sounded like Bill Gates on pot muttered and promptly left her alone.
He left her alone, but his words stung her. And that is when two wires in Ginny's brain that were never meant to be crossed, crossed. Her eyes went cross-eyed briefly before shutting and her whistling faultered.
When the young witch opened her eyes again, a grin spread on her face. "Mmmm...." she muttered, turning, as though in a trance and starting down the hall towards the Griffindor Tower. "Cyanide snowflakes..."
The zombie-like girl wandered to the Griffindor Tower and told the fat lady to either "Open up or face the wrath of my noodle." Terrified, the painting allowed Ginny to enter.
Inside the Griffindor Tower, all the members of the Griffindor house were crowded around Hermione and some nameless first year, who were in the middle of a cat fight (which was over a very cute vacuum cleaner, who was secretly in love with Ron, but would never admit to being a gay vacuum cleaner). The noise of the cheering was deafening, so Ginny slipped past unnoticed.
The red haired girl wandered up to the room that her brothers, Feorge and Greg-no, thats Fred and George-stayed. She went inside and straight to one of her brother's trunks. Opening it, she began rooting through it, throwing her brother's stuff on the ground without care.
Near the bottom of the trunk, hidden under an uninflated inflatable doll(O.o) she found what she was looking for-a large, amber colored bottle filled the cyanide. She laughed evilly and left the room, bottle in hand, not bothering to pick up the things she had scattered.
Ginny headed back to her room, which was empty, and went immediatly to the window. Opening the window, she peered outside. Snow was still falling heavily, blanketing the ground below her with it's thick whiteness.
Lying on his back in the snow, making a snow devil, was the ugly boy who sounded like Bill Gates on pot. Since he was lying on his back, he saw Ginny stick her head out the window.
"Hey Ginny, brat!" he called up to her, grinning brightly. "Finally stopped whistling I hear!"
Ginny considered, her face scrunching up with the effort. "Yup!" she called back after a full five minutes. "And don't call me Ginny-me new name is Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink!"
The Bill Gates-on-pot guy snickered. "Riight."
Very haughtily, Ginny-er...Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink-nodded. "Glad you agree, my loyal ice cube." Bill Gates On Pot Boy (as he will now be known as) stared at her blankly. Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink smiled back with all the sweetness she could muster and promptly poured the cyanide out the window, on to poor Bill Gates On Pot Boy.
"Look!" Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink said brightly, grinning to show the fangs in her mouth that had magically appeared to replace her teath. "It's snowing cyanide!"
Bill Gates On Pot Boy opened his mouth to yell something in reply, but instead got a face-and mouth-full od cyanide and snowflakes.
Now, there is a little known chemical rule that goes as follows: If cyanide and snowflakes are mixed. Run away. If they are then eaten, take a motorcycle-or anything fast available. Now, Ginny-er...Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink-didn't know this rule. So she didn't run, and she didn't gat a motorcycle. So she was watching, with some odd sense of glee, as Bill Gates On Pot Boy imploded, leaving a black champain flute in his place.
No one else seemed to notice the puff of poisenous black and yellow smoke or the loud, manical laugh that accompanied the transformation. In fact, Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink barely notices either, because she poked her head back inside as soon as Bill Gates On Pot Boy ate the dangerous concoction that she had kinda, sorta, not really not meant to create.
And that was the end of Bill Gates On Pot Boy. And as for Ginny-er....Queen Arenia Katherine Jody Holliana Kept Potter, Goddess of the Universe and ruler of all things pink, well she dyed her hair barbie-doll pink and married Lord Voldemort (who was re-named as Lord Commander in chief Roget Twinkle-toes slappy and all too happy voldemort the smelly) and lived happily ever after.
The moral of this story is never to read anything written by a bored, writer's block-plagued blacktears on the day of her mother's fancy dinner party where her entire goal for the evening is to freak out the guests and get drunk, but the guests aren't showing up so she can't freak them out and her mother hasn't opened the wines or vodka or champain yet so all the alcohol that is open in the house is rubbing alcohol, which tastes like straight scotch which she hates with a passion. The end.