I am drowning. I can feel my chest seize up as the water crushes me from all angles. But I can't fight it. It's too cold. Too much work. I wouldn't survive.
Not that I'm going to survive this anyways.
No one before me has. And I am certain that no one after me shall try.
Darkness surrounds me. I see a light. Don't go towards the light. I ignore the voices in my head. You can't die. Not yet. You haven't fullfied your destiny yet. Yet again I ignore the words. Destiny. Fate. What meaningless words. My mother's image fills my mind. Her blonde hair dancing at her waist. My father beside her. They're dancing. Laughing. I see my brother. I'm holding him in my arms. "...móðir... ataataq... bróðir..." I manage to murmur before slipping into darkness.
It's warm. Too warm. Too familiar. I'm dead. I must be. I drowned. I can remember it clearly. The crushing pressure. The memories that flashed in my mind at that moment. But somehow...somehow I am alive. I can hear my heartbeat. But how?
I need to know. I try to move my arm. Nothing. I struggle to open my eyes knowing that if I am alive they will be stung by the thick salt water. That I might possibly be blinded.
They open.
But it does not sting.
I can move now. I can see clearly. Surely I must be dead if this is true. But I'm not. I am very much alive. I move my arm to feel my legs. The one part of me that no longer seems there. I feel scales. shriek in horror, but as I look down there is no monstrous fish.
There is just a tail.
I can shriek underwater.
I can breathe.
I'm alive.
But I cannot return to my home.
What will ataataq say? "I am part of the sea" That is what he will say. "I must remain part of the sea." Móðir will cry. Not willing to let me go. She'll always be like that. But I cannot see them. I have lost them. I do not know how to find them.
This is like my uncle's fairytale. The one that makes him cry. Written by one of his own people. "Onkel" I murmur. I want to see him. I want to see my bróðir. I want to see Onkel's old dog. The fairytale. I'm struggling to Remember it. How does it go? It must hold the answers.
Why does the tale always make Onkel cry? I need to remember. Then I see it. The knife. The blood. The sea foam. I practically choke. No. That can't be the only way. I need to get back. I need them. They are everything to me. Everything. My everything. My life.