***I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ANYHING RELATED TO IT.***
"Prim!"
Is all I can say before she sets off into the mansion that awaits her death.
"No! Stop! Please!"
I need to get to her. I need to stop her, but I can't move. I look down, trying to will my feet to move and follow my sister, but nothing happens. That's when I hear cannons go off, and my ears are filled with the screams of my baby sister.
Jolted awake by the sound of her dying, I can still hear her screaming, but as I start becoming more aware of my surroundings, I realize they are no longer hers, but my own, and they were so loud they woke up Peeta. I feel his arms wrapped around me, while he tries to convince me that what I saw wasn't real. But it was. I saw my sister die right in front of me, while I did nothing.
After about twenty minutes of Peeta's continual soothing words, I finally begin to calm down, which is honestly no surprise anymore considering how many times he's done this. Always having the right words to say to me. Knowing that all I need is him right now.
"It happened again Peeta", I say as tears stream down my face, "she was right there in front of me, and I couldn't do anything."
"Shhh, Katniss it was just a nightmare. It's alright", He whispers while rubbing small circles on my back. "Everything is all right".
"No its not!" I say as I struggle to get out of his grip, so I can look straight into his eyes.
"This just proves what can happen now. It just solidifies all of my reasons against this. I can't do it Peeta, I cannot bring a child into this world. What if that happens to them?"
I practically scream at him.
"What if I can't protect it, and they die right in front of me… I can't do it… I just can't".
I look down at the bed sheets, unable to face Peeta. Knowing that I basically shot down every argument he had for wanting a child.
As I whisper out the last few words, Peeta shifts over and places both his hands on my cheeks so I'm forced to look at him.
"Is that why you don't want kids?" He says with plain shock on his face.
As the words come out of his mouth, I realize I've never told him my reasons for not wanting a child all this years, just the fact that I didn't want one.
How could I have not told him until now?
I slowly nod my head in response to the question he has had for the last couple of years.
As soon as I finish nodding, he gets up out of the bed and starts pacing around the room. Back and forth, Back and forth, from one wall to the other. Half way through one of his strides, he stops, and stares at the floor.
"What is he doing?" is all I can think of when suddenly he quickly walks back over to the bed, kneels in front of me and says with no sympathy, "If that's the reason then it's a stupid one."
And with that one statement, I lose it.
"Are you kidding me?" I yell at him as I shoot off the bed with anger that courses through my entire body.
"I've watched friends die in front of me Peeta!" I yell as I shove pass him to the front of the room.
"I've had to watch my sister get blown up right in front of me, so I'm sorry if after all that, I'm a little worried about losing a child!" I scream at him as I fall to the bed, exhausted from the adrenaline rush I've just experienced.
How could he say that? After everything that's happened to me and to him, how could he play it off like it was no big deal?
After about a minute or so, I begin to calm down. I slowly look up, expecting to see anger in Peeta's eyes, or a little hurt because I yelled at him, but that's not what I see.
I see an understanding wash over him.
"I'm sorry", he says, "I didn't realize the reasons against you wanting a baby, and I understand that now… but Katniss..."
He says as he grabs my hands and holds them tightly in his.
"The war is over with, there's nothing out there that will harm our baby".
He shakes his hands, emphasizing the power behind his words.
"And even if there was, do you honestly think we wouldn't protect them?
He looks so deep into my eyes, it feels like he touches my soul.
"I would give up my life in a heartbeat to protect our baby, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, you would to."
And with those few words, something hits me. I always believed that I didn't want children because I wouldn't be able to love them and protect them, that's been my belief for years now. That's why ever time Peeta has asked for one, I've said no.
But in this one night, everything has changed.
I realize that I would love them. I would love them more than life itself. I would protect them, even if it was the last thing I did, but what I've been afraid of is what would happen if I lost them. I wouldn't be able to handle it. The blow would kill me.
But as I stand here, staring into Peeta's eyes, I also realize what I've put him through. For years I've told him no and he never got mad. Not once.
He's been with me through thick and thin, and even after all that, I never gave him what he wanted most. But that's changed. In this one night, I've changed.
By the look on Peeta's face, he can tell I've changed my mind. His eyes light up and a small grin begins to dance its way onto his face. He looks into my eyes and gives me a questionable look asking the question that I've always said no too.
And without second guessing myself for the first time ever, I nod in response. The minute my head bobs up and down, he picks me up and spins me around, knowing that I just agreed to having the thing he has wanted the most.
He sets me down gently and softly pushes his lips to mine, in gratitude, slowly at first, then more eagerly. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me closer to him, knowing that I won't object. I let him and slowly thread my fingers through his hair as I feel that same hunger I felt on the beach grow inside of me. Even after all these years, he can still make me feel this way. God, I love him.
I think Peeta feels it to because he picks me up and lays me gently on the bed, never breaking our kiss. And that night with Peeta, knowing that I was finally willing to give him what he wanted, was the best night of my life.
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