I sit down on an icy bench, because it's clear I'm not leaving here anytime soon. James begged me to come to this little park, in the freezing snow. I agreed because I thought we could go ice skating, but he shows up with a sled and dorky-looking bobble hat. Now James is careening down a slope next to a couple of four-year-olds. He's ACTING like a four-year-old: I can hear him screaming in delight from here. I turn my head to watch and as I do, he hits a bump and goes flying. James face-plants 20 feet away in some kid's snowman. It's clear I'm going to have to pull him out, as usual, because he's flailing around yelling something indistinct. I march over and grab his legs, holding him upside-down. He gives me this 'oops, sorry' kind of smile and I drop him on his head. "Are we going ice skating now?" "No! Jessie, try sledding with me?" "You're such a kid, James. But fine." He runs off to grab his sled, smiling like an idiot as he insists on dragging me up. Then, at the top, he turns around and goes, "Sorry Jessie!" He lets go of the rope, smiling deviously. I'm sent careening backwards, yelling "HELP!" at the top of my lungs. And wouldn't you know it? I land, butt-first, in the same snowman James toppled into. And speaking of James, he's cracking up with the four-year-olds at the top of the hill. "You need some help, Jess?" he cackles. "No, thanks." I swing my foot around, kick the snowman over, and jump up from the small pile of snow. "Now we go ice-skating." "JESSIE! I don't want to!" "TOO BAD, twerp! Let's go!" I run up to the top of the hill, swipe my bag (skates inside) from the bench and drag James towards the rink. "Jessie! Isn't sledding better? Come ON, please?" "You just say that because last time a tree branch fell in the middle of the rink and you were too scared to get back on." "Nuh-uh! It was simply too thrilling, I might have fainted from the excitement!" "Mmhg. Sure." The rink is disappointing. It's not even really a rink: it's more of an overrated pond. But it has walls for James to hold onto, and the crack from the aforementioned branch is gone. I slap myself down on the bench, toss some old hockey skates at James, and lace up mine within thirty seconds. Then I step onto the ice and promptly fall over. Maybe I'M the one who needs walls. But after that little calamity, it's fairly smooth sailing - the rink is empty and smooth. It's more than I can say for James, anyway. He's clinging onto the walls like the ice is lava, and when he dares to touch the ground he flings himself over the wall on the other side. I roll my eyes... "YAUGH! JAMES, WHAT THE HELL!" He's - picked me up? And skating with me? What...? "Are you happy I practiced?" he winks. "Uh... yes! Yes! Just put me down or I'll kick you where it hurts." He dips me towards the ice and I scream. Then he bobs me back up and kisses me. "Whau-?" "Still want me to drop you?" I look right into his dazzling green eyes. "I think I'll live." And I kiss him again. And again. James lands butt-first into a wall, still holding me. But instead of spiraling off, he sinks down and stretches out his legs so I land on his lap, still kissing him, running my hands through his hair. I'm not actually sure how long we stay there, but I am vaguely aware of someone saying, "Grandma? What are they doing?" and someone else yelling, "Mom! What are you doing?" Then I feel a hand yank me off of James, and yet another person yelling, "YOUNG PEOPLE THESE DAYS! Treating everywhere like a shady hotel room." It's an old lady, and behind her is a younger woman and a tiny boy. "OK, ma'am, but with all due respect can you please put her down?" James squeaks. "Mom! What on earth! You don't just..." "Mommy, what were they DOING?" "It's kissing on the lips, Thomas. Now, let's skate." The old lady dropped me, then went off with the other two. I dust myself off and stumble to the gate awkwardly, James drifting next to me in a twitter - "Are you OK? Was that OK? Do you think that lady'll be OK, after picking you up like that? Is the boy OK? Did we scar him for life?" "Calm your ass, James!" I say, finally hitting the rubber stuff around the rink, "He'll kiss someone someday, although maybe not quite like that..." I blush. "Agreed, you're quite a good kisser." "You're not doing anything to help with my blushing problem." "I'm fully aware." I giggle and he grabs me, about to kiss me again, but of course Grandma Lady yells, "STOP RUINING MY GRANDSON'S SENSE OF ROMANCE!" I stare at her, confused at her bizarre, nonsensical statement, then turn back to James and start laughing hysterically. "Romance this, old lady!" I kiss James passionately, grab him by the hand, and drag him back towards home, both of us giggling the whole way. Home equals an apartment directly across from James'. It's small, but the main room has this huge window that takes up almost a whole wall, complete with a window seat. Other than that, there's a tiny kitchen area, bathroom a little smaller, and bedroom of average size. I sink down into the window seat and take in the view for the 800 millionth time, sighing loudly. Now, what the hell was that? I have literally no way to even think about what on this side of the moon could have possibly driven James to KISS me... Even if maybe I've had a crush on him for a year or two. So what? But not enough to kiss him or anything, and jeez, that was awesome though... FOCUS! Hmm, let's start again. I know! I'll call Misty! Misty and I were bitter enemies in the past, but we turned that around a year or two ago. She's annoying in that lovable friendly way. I punch in her number at lightning speed, praying she'll answer... "JESSIE!" "MISTY!" "Why are you so excited? Usually you threaten to punch me when I scream that loud." "I KNOW!" "Jessie, you're so pumped! Did you, like, fall in love or something? Ha! That'd be a good one, our Jessie in LOVE! So who's the lucky guy?" Misty hoots. "James." I can practically HEAR her eyes bugging out of her head. "What? April Fools? In February?" "No! For real!" I tell her the whole story of the ice rink, complete with the crazy old lady. Misty laughs when she hears about her: "Ha! I've seen her around too... she does the same thing to everyone! She just pulls me off of my boyfriend at the time and starts screaming something like, 'Teenagers these days, thinking everywhere is a romantic ball!' and I was like, 'Bitch you messed up!' and then she was like- OMG! You have to ask him out now!" "No! Nooo!" "Yes! Or HE'LL ask YOU for your birthday: it's like, in three weeks! Or BETTER! Valentines Day! NEXT week!" "So?" "SO!" Misty screams at a pitch loud enough to break the phone. "Wha-?" "I'll be over in five minutes! This is important! Jessie, you need to learn the dating basics!" Before I can tell her I've had three boyfriends before, she hangs up. What did I just do? Misty shows up six minutes later, holding a massive armful of books, jewellery, and other crap and yelling, "SORRYI'MLATE NOW LET'SGETSTARTED!" She throws herself next to me in the window seat and starts throwing the books at me. "OK, Dating 101, Dating 102, and Dating 103 are the best dating advice books EVER!" *pile of books is thrown at my face* "But you also need some really cheesy romance novels!" *pile of books is thrown at my chest* "And FINALLLLLY you need this necklace these earrings these four bracelets do you have a nice dress" *dazed nod* "GOOD and THESE romance movies on a scale of cheesy-to-depressing cool?" "..." "Jessie! Isn't it great?" "What the actual fuck, Misty." She blushes and giggles. "I'm sorry! But it's been SOOO long since one of my friends started dating, and James is VERRRYY special to you!" "Ugh, fine. Please don't say you have makeup in that bag of yours." Misty makes a dejected face, then snaps up her bag and smiles cheerfully. "Erm... NO! That's completely up to you! But that basic lipstick could be updated..." "MISTY! Look, I'm not sure James and I will actually DATE. We made out once, like, today. So maybe you shoul-" DING-DONG "I'll get it!" Misty squeaks. She opens the door and bangs it shut immediately. "Misty?" "That. Was. JAMES!" she whisper-screams. "YOU let him in!" "Umm..." Misty shoves me towards the door, where James is indeed waiting on the other side. "Hey, Jessie. Um, what is Misty doing here?" He peeks over my shoulder, looking at the window seat covered in junk. "And what's that stuff?" "Misty was simply being a friend, right, Misty?" She nods, practically bursting with pure, stupid excitement. "So she can go now because my other friend is here!" "That's you!" she squeals in James' general direction. Then she grabs all her stuff and runs out the door, yelling, "Bye have a nice evening you two!" *slam* My other friend is here? Did I literally just friendzone someone? "What the actual fuck was that?" James says dazedly. "My question exactly. Now come in. What'd you want?" "Um, it's Friday! So that means Movie Night!" "No... wha-? We have Movie Night?" "So I have like ten movies. Wanna watch one?" "They're the cheesy-ass horror ones, right?" James gives me Dejected-Look-Of-The-Day #2. "Yes... sorry." He turns to leave, but I catch his shoulder. "Let's go watch one!" I smile. James lights up and we walk the three steps to his apartment, where the only TV between us resides. James' apartment mirrors mine, with slightly different decor and of course his TV. I snatch up a random movie to watch (Death Of The Killer Death Deathy Thing or whatever) and plunk down on his couch like it's mine. Well, I spend so much time here anyway it might as well be. James puts in the movie and presses play... That was the best movie I've ever seen! Even though I've seen it about fifty times... No, it wasn't the plot or the setting or the conflict or the characters or the theme, it was what was happening outside the TV that counts. I didn't spend more than one second looking at that TV. Instead I spent most of the time looking at Jessie... or her eyes... or kissing her. Because that was basically my plan all along. Plan being the thing I thought up as I knocked on her door, searching for a desperate excuse to say something to her. It was slightly bizarre to have Misty open the door, squeak, close it, hear some whispers, then have Jessie flung at me. But it was so worth it! And now I'm just sitting on my tiny little couch, Jessie fast asleep at my side, contemplating today's events. Like, for instance, what made me do it? Why did I kiss her the first time? Then again? Why did I practice skating? Maybe it's more than a crush. "Jessie, wake up. Time to go home." "Mm?" "Let's go, come on." I stand her up and she falls back onto the couch. "I don't wanna." "Jessie, you're half-asleep already. Just get across the hall and you'll be back in your nice warm bed..." "Mmmkay." And she proceeds to fall asleep on the couch again. I pick her up gently, place her on my bed, cover her up, and take my spare blanket to sleep on the couch. I wake up at 6 a.m. when the sunlight streams through my window and reflects off the tiny mirror above the TV. "GAH!" I jump up and rub my eyes until the purple blob disappears from my vision. Once it's gone, I hop up and try to make some form of pancake as quietly as I can... Until I open a cupboard that contains the only pan I own and it falls right past my head onto the floor. I scream, jump back, and then pray I didn't sound too feminine and that Jessie wasn't awa- "James?" A sleepy voice comes out from the bedroom. Oh, damn it. "Jessie?" I poke my head around the door and a pair of brilliant blue eyes and red hair sticks out from under a small mass of blanket. "Come here..." I perch on the edge of the bed. "A little closer..." I move closer to her, and she grabs me by the arm so I'm laying next to her. "Uhh - Jessie?" She responds by turning to face me so our foreheads are touching. "Jessie-!" Yup, I'm twenty years old and let out the pre-pubescent squeak. She laughs sleepily, puts her arm around me, and moves her leg under mine. I'm beyond feeling awkward. I am BEYOND feeling awkward. "Jessie? Do you want breakfast?" She kisses me. I jump out of the bed and rush to finish some pancakes. Jessie emerges when I burn myself for the third time. "You need to stop screaming when you lean on the stove," she mutters, rubbing her eyes. "Sure, you try making these damn pancakes..." It's then I become aware that Jessie is wearing about one t-shirt. And that it is mine. And quite small. "When did you put that on?" "Hmm, 12:30. Right after you put me down, I remember thinking, 'This is a nice dress.' So I changed it. And quit staring." "Hmm? Oh, right." I pick up the pan and wave it at her. "Pancakes?" "James, now's the time you throw away the pan. It's literally had the batter burnt into it." "Ah. And that's a problem?" "It tends to mean you can't use the pan again, idiot." "Oh! I don't think I have enough money for another one..." "Well, hopefully you'll never find the need to make pancakes again." Jessie takes the pan from me and drops it in the trash. "How many books do you have?" "Since when do you read?" "Since kindergarten." Jessie says curtly, walking over to the shelf where I keep my crappy movies and books. "...I wasn't aware you read romance novels." Oh, she found those. "Damn, I thought they were behind the other books... I mean, uh, they're my..." "They're yours." "Fine! Maybe they are. Get over it." Jessie flicks through one absentmindedly, then reads a line out loud. "'Tyler, my love burns like that fire behind us.' 'Yes, we should probably run.' This is crap, James." "Yes, that one is! But have a look at this one!" I pick out First Order from the shelf and keep babbling, "There are vampires! Cute ones!" Jessie gives me the look equivalent of -_- . "When did you turn into a fifteen-year-old girl?" I blush. "I mean, cute GIRLS. GIRL vampires." "Sure. Wasn't it you who took the 'kiss the entire football team' challenge in eleventh grade with four cheerleaders?" "NO! That was simply a rumor." "A true one?" "GAH! Get out of here!" "I'm kidding. Although you're not denying anything..." Jessie kissed me again and left. I flop onto the couch, only for Jessie to return ten seconds later, get her clothes back on, and leave again. I wish I had a friend to call about all of this. My closest friend is Jessie, and Misty's really the only other person I talk to regularly. Unless... I jump for my phone and call Butch. "James? What on earth are you callin' me for?"" "Butch, I know that I'm not exactly your friend and Jessie hates Cassidy with a wild passion, but I need help because you seem to be the only person I know with a long-term girlfriend." "Fiancé..." "WHOAH! Congratulations!" "Yeah, yeah. Everyone else I've told says that twenty-one is too young, but we've known each other since five years old, y'know? Anyway, what on earth d'ya mean, you need help?" "Jessie..." I can almost hear Butch smiling somewhat evilly as he speaks. "Oh, man, she FINALLY did you?" "NO! God, you're so dirty-minded... No, actually, we made out. Twice. And she sorta tried to... do... me. But not really and I'm confused!" "Whoah, slow down! Okay, so you KNOW she likes you. That's a very good start..." "So you were so close! Jessie, I can't believe it!" "Well..." "Agh, you're so lucky. James is soooooo hot! Anyway, he likes you, you like him, next comes marriage, blah blah blah." "Calm your butt, Misty. Marriage is overdoing it. And also, James is mine." Misty giggles. "Ah, you're so possessive. I'm kidding! You've liked him since high school, so I'd never try anything..." she sighs wistfully. "So all I should do is ask her out?" "Well, duh! And you got a free dinner at Golden, and that's a nice place. After Valentine's Day, you say it's her birthday? Well, think of something else for then..." "Should I ask him?" "Well, I don't know! But I think he'll ask you soon. So maybe just wait." "That seems scary." "That seems lame." "I got to go, James. Good luck!" *beep* "I gotta go, Jessie! Bye-bye!" *beep* "BUTCH!" "MISTY!" But maybe I should ask Jessie out. Feeling renewed, for whatever reason, I'm at her door in a flash. Jessie opens the door and I hold up the Golden card. "Valentine's Day?" I scrape back my red hair for the fourth time, trying a bun. "Jessie, it looks like some socks attached themselves to your head." "Misty! It's called a sock bun. Why are you even here? My date isn't for four hours." Because I said yes to Golden on Sunday, I haven't not-seen Misty every day for... six days. It's been a long six days. "Oh, Jessie! I'm here because I'm technically your only friend." "Say that again and I might hit you." "But-" Misty reads my death glare and shuts up. "Just go! I'll be fine. Besides, James lent me First Order, Astrologica, and TSLOTATS and I want to read a chapter of one of them, which I haven't been doing because YOU NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE!" "OK, OK! Call me later and tell me how it goes! Bye!" *slam* I drop onto the window seat and pick up First Order. I read somewhat eagerly (Because Adrian... whew, James was right) until the end of Chapter 7. We kind of collapse into my room. I don't even know how we made it to the bed, we're so into it. And, you know, it's kind of awesome. It gets even better. I slam the book shut, and luckily I hear a knock on the door. Maybe not exactly the knock I want to hear after a scene like... that, but I can put the awkward out of my mind. I fling open the door, and about 1.34 seconds later I realize I forgot to put up my hair. James is standing in the doorway, holding up a little red rose and wearing a suit that probably belongs to a taller guy. He blushes when he looks at me. "Jess, your hair! It's never down, and it's so long! And your dress..." James babbles. My dress is a dark violet, and slightly shorter than my hair (but my hair goes to my knees). "You look nice too." "Please, this is Butch's." I should have guessed. "Well, it's a nice color." "It's black." "I know." We link arms and walk to Golden, chatting about random little events. "Misty's seeing Ash again? Wow, she needs to get with the program." "I know! And hey, Butch and Cassidy are getting married!" "Whoah!" I feel like I'm overflowing with a random energy. Just talking to James, smiling at each other. Then we get to Golden. James lets go of my arm and walks up to the man at the little podium-like thing. He holds up the little golden cards. The man shakes his head, and James looks shocked. Then angry. He stomps back to me in a huff. "No deal, Jess." "Huh?" "They're booked up. It IS Valentine's Day. I put in a reservation for your birthday, but nothing tonight." "Oh." "Yeah. Let's go home." I sink into my window seat alone, practically crying. All I can do is call Misty. "Misty!" "OMG! Jessie, over so soon?" I fill her in and she gasps. "No! That's so unfair! I'll be over in five minutes." 5.418 seconds later, Misty arrives at my door. "Oh, Misty." "I have to be here! It's not OK James just left you alone!" "Agh. Fine. How much chocolate is in that bag of yours?" "Enough for dinner." "MISTY!" "Hey! I like chocolate, and I know you do too. Can I use the bathroom?" Before I can answer Misty throws down her bag and dashes for the bathroom. I sit in a somewhat awkward silence until Misty's phone buzzes. Having had her answer my texts for me many times, I decide to return the favor and pick up the little red Blackberry. Text from Cassidy I hate Cassidy. Ooh! Maybe she's texted some evil secret! *click* *click* Cassidy: Misty, I can't believe Butch dumped me. we were getting married, you know? i feel like i'm still right there when he told me, even though it was six days ago What? I scroll up to read from the beginning of this conversation. It's mostly hysterical text-crying on both sides and I keep going until I see my name, stopping short. Cassidy: Jessie's lucky Misty: how so? Cassidy: she and James are clearly a couple. She'll never be lonely he's liked her for five years Five... years? Misty: i know Cassidy: i just wish i had someone like james to be with me, even just in a friendly/crushy way Misty: yeah i totally agree they're so cute i wish Jessie would see it *knock* "I'm not ready to see anyone right now!" Well, I just had a not-date and am also not wearing pants. "Why?" "I'm not wearing pants!" I call back. "Good! Open up!" Good? I finish putting on my pajama pants and open the door. Jessie practically knocks me over, kissing me passionately. "What the heck?" She smiles seductively. "Want me to stop?" "N-no?" Then she knocks me over for real, still kissing me. I know it's going to be a long, amazing night when I have to kick the door closed because Jessie's not letting go. I wake up in James' bed. I'm about to have a small heart attack when I remember what happened last night and sigh happily, wiggling in next to James and cuddling up. He stirs, opens one eye, and smiles somewhat goofily. "Morning..." "Guess we can't play the 'just friends' dynamic now, huh?" I giggle and move closer to James. He puts his arm around me, still with that goofy smile. "Breakfast?" "Yes, please." *kiss* "No, silly, I mean actual food." Then I blush. "But this works too." Jessie: MISTY Jessie: MISTY Jessie: MiSTy Misty: what omg it's like ten am Jessie: that's not late Misty: when have you awoken before noon Misty: ever Jessie: fine whateves but guess what happened last night Misty: OMMMMGMMMGMGMGM *ringtone* Why can I never tell Misty anything over simple text message? "TELL ME EVERYTHING." "Umm... I read your texts with Cassidy. They inspired me." "YES I KNOW THAT I SAW MY PHONE WAS ON. ALSO I HEARD YOU AND JAMES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE QUIETER." "Oh. Haha. Why did you ask if you knew everyth-" "HAHA INDEED! JESSIE!" "Let me guess, you'll be here in five minutes." "Actually, I'm in your apartment already. I never left." "Why?" "Be-CAUSE you left your keys here. What if you got locked out? Also I got too tired to leave, even though it was hard to sleep with all your racket." "Misty!" I hiss. "I'm like 90% certain JAMES CAN HEAR YOU." "Oh. Sorry, James." "I accept your apology." James yells from the kitchen. "Why am I on speaker?" "You're not." "Then how-" "YOU. ARE. SCREAMING." "Oh yeahhh." *giggle* "Well, I'll see you when you get back!" *click* *fire alarm* "James, what did you burn this time?" The next morning, I wake up and begin pounding in the general direction of my alarm clock. I miss and hit Jessie in the face. No, she didn't actually go back to her apartment, if you get what I mean. "Jessie, wake up. It's time for work... for me, at least." "MMmfmMF." "Wake up..." "MMMMFMFMMFMFMFF." *kiss* "SUDDENLY, I AM AWAKE." Jessie jumps out of bed, says a quick goodbye-see-you-later, and goes back to her apartment to prepare for whatever job she's currently at (the 17th, by my count) while I finish heating up a toaster waffle. Then I throw on some clothes and run like I'm very late (which I am not), because there's a 90% chance a crazy parent wants to complain about crap. I work at a preschool, as a sort of assistant teacher. I'm OK at it, I guess (but by that I mean I haven't been fired yet). After dealing with said parent, I walk into the classroom, go through the process of helping ten kids who can't operate buttons take off their coats, and sit everyone into some sort of circle before the actual teacher comes in (holding coffee, which assistant teachers aren't allowed to take from the lounge). "OK, CLASS!" she yells over chattering four-year-olds. "Please be quiet for the Weekend Share!" I don't understand why kids like weekend shares, but hey. I'm not technically in charge of this. I sit down in the circle as well. The teacher bends down to whisper in my ear. "Hey, I have a meeting. Cover the Weekend Share." Sure, a 'meeting'. But I'm not about to be fired so I nod and she leaves. "Um, OK, guys, who wants to go first?" "ME!" "MEEEE!" A quiet girl named Chrissie raises her hand, so I let her start. "I rode a rollercoaster!" "I ate a taco!" "I got a stuffed rabbit!" I'm about to skip over myself when someone asks, "James, what did YOU do this weekend?" "Umm, good question, Henry. Ummm..." "You musta done something!" Well, that's not school-appropriate. How do I phrase it for four-year-olds? Ah! "I'm pretty sure I fell in love." "OOOOH! James has a GIRL-friend!" "I suppose..." "Is she PRETT-Y?" "Yes." "I heard my mommy say you were more likely to like a guy. Is it a guy?" "No! What?" Chrissie raises her hand again. "What was it like?" "Well... imagine riding a rollercoaster, eating a taco, getting a stuffed rabbit, and doing all those things a million times in one day. Like that." "Whoah! I should fall in love!" Henry says quietly. *extreme laughter break* "O-K. Dylan?" "I saw the Nyan Cat video!" "OOOH!" the class collectively gasped. After the Weekend Share, I made everyone sit in their 'desks' (large tables). Chrissie pulled me down and whispered in my ear, "Is is Jessie?" "How did you know?" I whispered back. "You talk about her during playtime a lot." I smiled. "Yes, it's her." Chrissie considered, and then said, "She sounds really nice." "She is." I patted her on the shoulder and tried to keep the class from exploding until the actual teacher got back. "Aww, that's cute!" said Jessie. She was sipping a hot chocolate curled up next to me on the couch. "In love, hmm?" "Well, it's been five years of liking you, so yes. Did you know if you've had a crush on someone for more than four months, you're technically in love?" "Did you know that you're kind of a nerd?" she teases, kissing me on the nose. "Hah! Yeah, well, it's the glasses that make me so. Before that it was twerp, half-wit, kinda crazy... So many romantic pet names!" I laughed. "And all you did was try not to do something that would make me madder. Yeah, well, now I'm in your power instead." *seductive smile* "Oh God, Jess..." In response, she presses her lips to mine. *KNOCK* *BANG* "Hah! I knew the same keys would fit! Or maybe these are James' keys. Jessie, why do you have these - AGH! OMG I'm SO SORRY!" Misty says-laughs-screams. "GAH! GET OUT OF HERE! MISTY!" I yell. "Sorry! I knew Jessie would be here! And... James, do you really have little cats on your boxers? That's so..." "MISTY! LEAVE!" Jessie yells. "Yeah, I can't say anything. Well, nice seeing you guys. Even if you were, like, only barely dressed. Bye!" *slam* "Is she really that naïve?" I looked up into Jessie's blue eyes. "Yeah... no, I don't think so. She's just a few pecans short of a trail mix." "Misty, it's legit the big date and I need you over here." "Jessie, I can't help having food poisoning! "I know, it's just sucky timing for your frickin' food to make you sick." "I KNOW! We think like twinsies." "If you were here, I would kill you for saying twinsies." "Oh, me too! Twinsi-" "Bye, Misty. I'll tell you how it goes." *click* Yes, it is the night of the big date with James. It's also my birthday, but who cares about that? IT'S THE BIG DATE. I'm wearing the same dress as last time, and leaving my hair down (James did like it that way) again. It's sort of repeating what never happened. *knock* Ah! We chat all the way to the restaurant. "So WHY did Butch break off the engagement?" "Something about Cassidy seeing another guy. But that's the thing! She wasn't!" "So what was the whole Facebook thing?" "A cheap trick by the guy she was 'cheating' with." "Aww. Even Cassidy doesn't deserve that." Golden is still gorgeous, even more so because it's unseasonably warm out and we're allowed to sit on the roof. The table has a little candle, and it's almost like a movie to just look at the city around us. Because most of our conversation was random, here's snippets of stuff that made sense. "So you had four cats? Your mom must be a cat lady." "Well, duh. Hey, you had two dogs. Same amount of work in less fur!" "..." "So you got fired AGAIN, Jess?" "The family was asking to be kicked out! There were four screaming kids, two teenagers on their phones at full volume, and the parents weren't doing a thing!" "..." "So of all the animals in the world, James, you pick ZEBRAS?" "They're like funky horses." "Not something cooler? I, personally, like lions." "Because you and your family are cat ladies." "JAMES!" *giggle* "Your food..." The waiter puts our stuff on the table and leaves us. "OMG! This is amazing!" "Thought you would like it, Jessie." "But... how come I can't cook like this!" Eventually it starts to get colder. Couples leave or go inside, leaving James and I alone on the roof. The air is lovely and romantic and.. *BANG* We're thrown backwards by a huge, fiery explosion. I thought it had been a lovely date. Talking to Jessie, fabulous food, large gas leak that caused a fire... wait, what? "AHH! WHAT?" Jessie shrieks. "JAMES! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOO!" "I didn't do anything!" *BANG* We're flung to nearly the edge of the roof. "Stay low, Jessie!" I scream, crawling to try and find the stairs. "James, the stairs are here, but they're also... kind of... on fire." "Ah. Well. Um..." I grab Jessie by the arm and try to find somewhere to block off the towering flames, finally coming to rest under the mini-bar (which is metal, so it buys us some time). "Jess, d'ythink anyone's called 911 yet?" "Just do it! They might not remember we're here!" *beep beep beep* "911? Yes, um, we're on the roof of Golden, which is currently on fire, behind a mini-bar," *whoosh* "AGHHH! Behind what WAS a mini-bar! Um, hurry!" *click* We crawl over to a table in the corner, knock it over, and curl up in the one part of the roof that isn't on fire. "James?" Jessie gives me the look of a scared toddler. "Are we giving up?" "I-I think so." "Oh. James?" "Yes?" "I love you." I think that's where we pass out. I wake up in a hospital room (what). Jessie's already up, I guess, and watching me. When she sees my eyes open she slaps me in the face. "Wha-?" "YOU IDIOT!" "What on Earth? Jessie..." A nurse asks her to leave. "Oh, this isn't over." she says, stalking out angrily. "What did I miss?" "About two days of nothing. And Jessie, as you call her, going bananas." "Why?" "I'll let her tell you." The nurse leaves and Jessie returns, slaps me again, then sinks down into a chair and starts to cry. "Um, Jess, I'm alive. Please don't cry." "James. What would you say if someone else was alive too?" "Um, that's great! People... are... supposed... to be... alive - oh no. You are not." "Yes, James, I am about three weeks pregnant." "Who's baby is it?" *glare* "OK. That's kinda what I thought." Jessie suddenly breaks down. "James, what are we going to do? I'm going to get fired again, and again... none of us have much money, and worse, we're not gonna get any more anytime soon. There's no room for a baby in either of our apartments, some days we barely remember to feed ourselves, and we're nowhere NEAR married. There's only so much Misty can do, if anything at all. We're completely on our own here." I sit up and take Jessie's hand. "Jessie, calm down! We'll make this work, probably, even if we have to do something... really not fun! I don't know! But we will do this, you know." "NO WE WOOOOOOON'T! JAMES, WHAT'LL WE DO!" Jessie moves into pure hysterics. "THIS'LL BE IMPOSSIBLE!" She puts her head on my shoulder and cries harder. "Jessie! CALM DOWN! You'll make me start soon. Look, I think... Oh, Lord..." A nurse pokes her head in. "Everything OK?" *HOWL* "Um, I'm going to leave." *slam* Jessie wipes her eyes and calms down a bit. "James, what'll happen?" "I don't know either! You've asked me a thousand times. Look, we need to handle this out of the hospital. What happened, anyway?" "Well, I was out for a few hours as well, but I was told we were rescued at the last minute by a fireman. One last minute and we'd be dead, actually. You were out for longer because smoke inhalation affects everyone differently." "Wow..." "You may notice we're not really burned, too. It's because we were behind the mini-bar for a while: most of the explosions happened then." "So had it been one more minute, it would have been three lives lost..." My eyes filled with tears as I realized the full horror of the next months or years: probably broke and maybe worse. "Oh God..." We made it back to our respective apartments at noon the next day. After being kissed at my door, I went inside to find half a BILLION texts from Misty. Misty: Jessie how was da date mon Misty: jessie Misty: Jessie wtf txt or call me Misty: OMG I JUST HEARD GOLDEN BURNED DOWN R U OK And more of the same. She eventually convinced herself I was dead and started texting that she was calling me to hear my voice over the voicemail. She then discovered my voicemail was a robot and left a hysterical message. I called her. "Misty." "OMG! JESSSSSSIIIIIEEEE! YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIVE!" Misty cried, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Um, yeah. Misty, can you come over?" "ALREADY ON IT! SQUEEEEE! I AM RUNNING OUT THE DOOR!" *click* Jessie: James come over James: y Jessie: Misty's going to learn about the baby and you're the only one of us who knows CPR James: ah. it'd be best to tell her as a... family Jessie: yeah... Misty banged through the door, crying again at the sight of James who was apparently "ALIIIIIIIVE AND IT'S A MIRACLE!" James and I were not laughing. In fact, I was nearly in tears again. "Jessie! What's wrong? I thought since you and James were alive you'd be happy! Right?" "Misty..." I began to bawl hysterically (hmm, it's been a hysterical few weeks). "Jessie, calm down. Um, Misty, what we have to tell you is that actually three people survived the fire." "It was a triple date? What?" "No... Misty, Jessie's going to have a baby." "A what." "She's... pregnant." Misty was silent, and I was certain she was going to run away or cry. Instead she cheered. "YEAH! I LOVE BABIES! SO CUTE AND FAT!" James and I stared at her, dumbstruck. "Um, Misty..." I piped up, "We don't exactly have the money to support a baby..." "But you guys'll be a FAMILY! Families make everything work, 'cause they love each other. And don't tell me it'll be hard to love them when they make you broke, because you look into those eyes and you just..." *sigh* "I wish I was a parent... but without the actual pregnancy and birth and stuff." "Misty, when did you turn five?" I yelled. "We'll be BEYOND broke! We'll be..." I cried harder and harder, "Oh God." "Jessie, it's not quite that bad! You're very emotional at the moment..." James tried to comfort me, but stopped when I started to howl again. "Well, it's her hormones!" Misty said intelligently. "Misty, can you handle girl-mode? I need to do a little Googling." James stepped neatly out of my apartment, and I heard his door open and shut. "OK! Jessie! Calm down... the first thing we need is chocolate ice cream!" Misty left and came back with a container of chocolate fudge ice cream. "Now, we need to eat it and discuss!" I told her everything about the money, and the fact that my parents were missing or dead and James' no longer talked to him because he ran away. "Hmm. Can there be any way to talk to James' parents? They must want to help their son if he's in deep trouble!" I snorted. "Please. He's not married and got a girl pregnant: they'd disown him!" "But it's worth a shot! Please talk to him." "Alright! Go and I'll talk to him!" "Yay! OK, tell me how life goes! Bye!" *slam* Jessie: James i need to talk 2 u James: um k James stepped in thirty seconds later. "James, you need to talk to your parents. It's our last chance." "No. Jessie, I... I can't. They'll kill me." "But we need to! We could be anywhere in the next year. This might be our only way out." "Jessie..." "James..." "JESSIE!" "JAMES!" James started to laugh. "Okay, okay. Maybe. But don't get your hopes up." We 'hang out' a little longer, and James ends up staying the night. The next morning James is gone. I'm surprised he went back to work so soon, until I hear his voice coming from outside the door. I poke my head out to find him on his cell phone, crying a little and trying to speak. Whoever was on the other end wasn't shutting up. "MOM, LISTEN!" *phone yelling* "NO! Come on, please, I really -" *other person speaks* "Please! It's been three hours of trying to convince you." James sees me and presses speaker, as if to say, 'try and reason with this nut'. "OF WHAT? THE FACT YOU GOT A GIRL PREGNANT? SO ARE YOU GOING TO JUST MARRY HER FOR THE MONEY? HMM?" "Mom, I'm trying to give you proof! Jessie, say hi." "Hi. Um, it's me, Jessie. I am currently pregnant with your son's baby/babies. Please believe him that we are honestly in love." "LOVE, MY FOOT!" "Um, I'm gonna make breakfast. James, maybe you should..." *click* "Do you see what I mean?" "Yeah. I'm sorry, James." "Aw, don't say sorry. Maybe a kiss'll make up for it." I went back to work on Monday the following week. Chrissie tugged at my sleeve as I was passing by her table. She motioned for me to bend down. "Mommy told me you were in the golden fire." I chuckled. "Not quite. The restaurant was called Golden, but there was a fire." "Are you OK?" "I'm here, aren't I?" "No, I mean because you have darkness under your eyes. Have you been crying a lot?" "No... I thought dark circles came from lack of sleep." "Mommy gets them when she and Daddy fight, but they're not only under her eyes." It occurred to me that perhaps there was a reason Chrissie was so serious and quiet. "I have something else to tell you, Chrissie. Do you want to hear it before recess?" "Yeah!" Chrissie said cheerfully, and she went back to finger-painting. Sure enough, before recess, she hung back. "James? What happened to you? You said you would tell me." "Well, you know the girl I fell in love with?" "Jessie?" "Mm-hm. Well, she's going to have a baby." "AwwWWwww! I love babies!" Chrissie squealed. "Me too." I had to smile. "But we might not have enough money for the baby." "Babies are free! They come out of belly buttons." "Um... yeah. But it costs money to buy a crib and stuff." "Oh." Chrissie said sadly. Then she brightened. "But it'll be OK! The baby won't be born for..." She began to count on her fingers, then gave up, saying, "A lot of time." "... Go and play, Chrissie." I want to highlight a few moments over the course of Jessie's pregnancy. The first, about two months after I called my parents, was good at the beginning. I rushed into Jessie's apartment on a Friday after work, like I usually did on weekdays. But this was a lot better, because... "Jessie, I got a promotion!" She leapt up from the couch and screamed. "OH MY GOSH! YES! Why?" "The teacher's business meetings were actually the time she used to do drugs, so..." "Ah." "I'll be teaching for the rest of the school year, and if I do well, longer!" "Yay! James, this'll be great! Better pay." "And a bonus off the top! So I can treat my favorite girl..." I tickled Jessie and she giggled. "Oh, stop." She didn't stop giggling, so I sat her down on the window seat, as she calls it, and kissed her gently. As she kissed back, I traced the inside of her wrist and stopped abruptly. "Jess," I said seriously, "What's this?" She quickly yanked her wrist out of my hand and kissed me hard, but out of fear and desperation. I pushed her away, as softly as I could. "Jessie." "It's... nothing." She tried to get up but I grabbed her wrist again. "Jess, are these... cuts?" "No! No!" Jessie's voice was growing high-pitched and nervous. She tried to pull her sleeves over the marks but I held on and pushed them back. "Jessie! Why would you do this?" Jessie burst into tears. "I-I'm so-s-s-s-o S-C-A-R-E-D!" she screamed. "Scared of what? Oh, Jess!" "Sc-scared that we can't do this. Oh God." Jessie kept wailing. "James, will..." "Will what?" "NO! I DON'T WANT TO!" "Don't want to... what?" She sank down onto the seat again and cried harder. "Will I have to get rid of the baby?" "NO! Jeez, Jess... I had no idea you got so worked up." "I'm NOT worked up!" she screamed louder than I'd ever heard her. Um, sure you're not, Jess. "Ok, um, Jessie, calm down. The first thing... um..." "WHAT?! JAMES! STOP SAYING 'UM' AND GET OUT OF HERE!" Jessie cried harder and harder, completely losing it. She started throwing books at me and I had to leave, slamming the door behind me. All I could do was call Misty. "Misty, Jessie's having a massive panic attack and I have no idea what to do! HELP!" "Oh, James." Misty sighed sadly, "She did that to me a week ago: we haven't talked since." "What? Oh no." "She's kinda going nuts over this baby thing." "Yeah, I just got promoted so we should be fine for a while, but she seemed oblivious to that when she started screaming." "OK, go back in there. Just sit next to her. Let her cry. If she throws stuff at you that isn't potentially life-threatening, stay. But if life-threatening things get tossed about, or she doesn't stop or gets worse, because she can, call 911." "What? Are measures that drastic necessary?" "Unfortunately, yes," Misty said grimly. She sounded more serious than I'd ever heard her before. "Okay. Bye, Misty. Thanks." *click* I stepped tentatively back into Jessie's apartment. She was rifling through her kitchen drawers for something. I ran at her and pulled her back as gently as I could while getting the message across. "James, let me go!" she howled. "No! Jessie, sit down!" I managed to get her to the bedroom and made her lie down. The next thing I did was go back through the drawer, slower and more careful than Jessie was. It was the silverware drawer, just as I feared. I took everything potentially sharp to my apartment, shoved them in an empty cupboard, and went back to check on Jessie. She was still in her bedroom, crying quietly. I sat down beside her and pushed her magenta hair out of her face. She looked up at me and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry." she mumbled. She tried to kiss me, but I didn't let her. "Sorry, Jessie, not today. Not after that. Just relax, I'm here, just re-lax..." She put her hand on my leg and smiled again. "Okay, James, but I know you really want a kiss." "No I - Jessie!" She had continued moving her hand up my leg. UP my leg. I stood up, then sat down when Jessie's hand had returned to under her chin. "Sleep, okay?" "But it's so early..." Even as she said it, she was drifting off. "I think you won't mind. I'll wait here, mmkay?" "Zzzzz..." There we go. The next event was going back to work that Monday. I told the class they had to call me Mr. Morgan instead of James and that I was the teacher, and apart from a little confusion at first it went over fine. The problem was Becky, the new assistant teacher. She was blond and bouncy, and quite flirty. I found this out the hard way. It was at recess, and another teacher was watching all the kids. I stepped inside to get a coffee (which as a teacher, I am now allowed!), and there was Becky, sitting on a table in the teachers lounge, talking to another assistant about her age. She saw me and winked. I stepped back and dropped the coffee on me. "Do you want me to help?" she said flirtatiously. "Uh... no..." "Don't be silly, Mr. Morgan." she laughed. "No, seriously, don't." The other girl had disappeared. "Scared of me?" Becky had changed to full-on seductive. "No!" My voice started getting high-pitched and girly. "Then what's the problem?" "I-I have a girlfriend!" Becky laughed again. "No one has to know..." I pushed her away. "She-she's pregnant!" "These are just things, Mr. Morgan." She stepped back towards me and grabbed my collar. "Get off me!" "Oh, Mr. Morgan, James, whatever. You won't be saying that..." Becky pushed me onto the table, and just at that moment Ryan, yet another assistant (we have a lot of them, huh...) popped his head into the room. "BECKY!" he yelled. He darted into the room, pulled Becky off of me, and shoved her out the door. I stood up dazedly, trying to regain my composure and dignity. Ryan walked up to me and said, "She did that to me, too." "My God... my girlfriend's frickin' pregnant and..." "Whoah! Congrats, I think. Yeah, but she's over the top. You're working in the same class as her: be warned." "Is she..." "She has literally managed to get half the male staff in bed. Or closet. Or something similar to one of those." "Wow... UGH." "Sorry, dude." Becky tried to get at me twice more and stopped when she was caught by Chrissie (who else?). It was a month later, after her second attempt a week before, and we were in the classroom while everyone else was going home. She was putting some glue sticks in the closet, and then turned around and winked. "Becky, no." "James, yes." She walked up to me and put her hand on my chest. I began to sweat profusely. She moved her head closer to mine, and I jerked myself to the side to try and avoid it. She seemed to have predicted the motion and went with me. I was certain that she would kiss me (or worse) when I heard a high voice go, "Mr. Morgan? Becky?" Becky and I leapt apart. Chrissie looked shocked and ran off. I went after her and caught her at her cubby. "Chrissie, what did you see?" "Is she the one you love?" she said in a trembling voice. "No. God, she... she wants me to fall in love with her, but I don't want her to. You see?" "Yes, I see. Daddy says she loves HIM, anyway. Bye-bye!" Chrissie skipped off. I rubbed my forehead, wishing I could talk to Chrissie and help her understand. At the same time, I didn't want to kill her innocent vibe. *sigh* I went back into the classroom, of course to find that Jessie was there and was holding a fist dangerously close to Becky's face. "So, you think you can just do that to James, hmm?" "Ummm... he did it! All him!" I was dumbstruck. Jessie seemed to drop her fist a little, but threw it back up with energy. "You numbskull! James wouldn't do that!" Both were practically about to kill the other when I realized I should probably come in. I ran to Jessie and gently but firmly pulled her back. "No, Jessie, we don't kill people when we're five months pregnant, 'kay?" "GRMMNMHRM." "Yeah, thought so. Becky..." "Hmmff. You'll be sorry." She slapped me in the face and stalked out. That was May. In June, Butch and Cassidy got engaged again (those two are always engaged but never seem to get married, huh) and decided to throw a party. I was invited as a semi-not-really friend of Butch's. Cassidy hates Jessie with a burning fire, so she wasn't coming. Anyway, I knocked on Jessie's door before leaving. "Jess? You okay?" She came to the door. "James, you don't need to worry about me so much." But she was smiling. "I like your hair today." It was brushed so it sort of hid half her face, and looked really nice. Instead of saying something, Jessie looked as though she'd seen a ghost. "Ummm..." Then she slammed the door closed. I'm not actually too confused by this, as Jessie has been acting a bit weird for the past month or so. I set off for the park (the same one with the ice-rink). When I show up, there are way too many people around. I make a beeline for the table crammed with food because... well... a table crammed with food. Because the party is actually mostly not very interesting, I'll skip to the bizarre part. It's getting later, and Cassidy must have decided that the instant it got dark was the time to bring out all the drinks. I sit on a bench and try to avoid all the craziness that popped up, and enjoyed the small amount of sunset left. Cassidy walked (stumbled) out of the crowd and sat beside me. "Hi?" "Hey." she hiccuped. She was clearly extremely drunk. "Why you not, what's that word again... party-stuff?" "Cassidy, let's get you to Butch, mmkay?" "Who-now?" Uh-oh, she's out of it for real. "You know. Your FIANCÉ." "Oh. Who?" "You know what? Let's go to him, okay?" "Nope! Not goin' anywhere!" she laughed. She put her hand on my leg and I shrank away. Cassidy held firm and I started to panic a little. "Yeah, Cassidy, I think we are. C'mon, this way..." I tried to stand up and she pulled me back down. "You're not... hic... scared of ME?" "N-n-no! Just, um -" "Don't be silly, boy... whoever..." It was then I realized the hand that was on my leg was moving up farther. "No. Cassidy, mm-mm. Bad. Stop. Please move your hand." "Oh, but you like it." "NO! Cassidy, please - !" "Yes, I know you do..." "Cassidy, get off me before I -" "Before you what, hmm? I can feel that you like it." "How -" I blushed and finally made the decision to throw her off me before something even worse happened. "No. Come on, to Butch, right now." "But he sounds BORING!" Cassidy whined. "I like you better. At least I have you somewhere..." Just then, Butch stepped out of the crowd. "Sorry, James." He looked in Cassidy's direction, then at her hand and its location. "CASS!" he yelled, so loud that everyone stopped talking. "COME ON! Not again..." "Are you the Butch this man was talking about?" Cassidy giggled. "More like Bitch." "Cass... oh JEEZ! James, I'm really, really sorry..." "Umm... I think it's okay." "Hey BITCH," Cassidy said. "Wanna dance? You're pretty cute..." And they were off. I stayed behind, frazzled, then decided to make my way home. As I went for the exit, Butch and Cassidy sprang from the group once more, kissing passionately, and disappeared into the public bathroom. Good luck with that, guys. I walked home the longer way, and turned down a pretty little street I'd never really looked at much. It was actually really pretty, so I slowed down a bit. Then stopped and did a double-take. One of the houses, a tiny-looking pale yellow one on the corner had a FOR SALE sign. It had been crossed out, REDUCED added about three or four times. I took out my phone and called the real estate place, just out of curiosity. "Um, hey. What's going on with the house on..." I looked up. "Sax Street." "Ah, you're interested!" The lady on the other end sounded gleeful. "A little bit. Is that exciting?" "Sort of. You see, that house has been unsold for years. It's so cheap now, and yet there's always something people don't like." "Crazy..." As I talked, I leaned on the fence of the house and gave it a good long look. It was clearly a little abandoned, but nothing a bit of spring cleaning couldn't fix. The realtor and I went on for a while, and I could feel my eyes widen when she told me what the house was going for. "Wow, that is pretty cheap... You know what? I want to talk to my girlfriend before this. But..." "Goodbye, sir. Call again if she's interested too!" I clicked off the phone and broke into a run towards home. "JESSIE!" *wham* "I HAVE VERY GOOD NEWS INDEED!" I was practically hammering on the door, and Jessie wasn't answering. Eventually I remembered I had a key and let myself in. "Jess?" I poked my head into the bedroom and Jessie was sitting on the bed, head in her hands. "Jessie?" She looked up, quickly pushing her hair back over her face. But I saw. I sat next to her and moved her pink-magenta hair back again. Jessie didn't even try to stop me. Sure enough, there were small red marks all over her cheek. I didn't say a word about them. Instead, I asked when Jessie had last eaten. "Dunno." "Let's get you something, okay?" I smiled at her, just to make sure she knew I wasn't mad. "I don't think I really have much... or anything." I walked with her to the kitchen and discovered two instant ramen meals, heated them up, and sat in the window with my arm around her. Jessie curled up as best she could (she's six months pregnant already). We ate in silence. Jessie finally spoke. "How was the party?" "Cassidy got extremely drunk." Jessie laughed. "Yup, that's her." "Actually..." I told her the whole story, minus Cassidy's 'success'. I thought it would make her laugh, but instead Jess looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Jessie, what's the matter?" She blinked a few times, then smiled weakly. "No-nothing." "Really?" "NOOOOO!" Oh God, here we go. Again. "Jessie." "Jessie." "JESSIE!" I yelled as loud as I could. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST SHUT UP FOR HALF A SECOND!" Jessie stopped crying, or at least stopped making noise. "We-are-going-to-be-fine-okay!" "James..." "What? Just... what?" "I'm not scared of that anymore. It's you." "What?" "Becky. Cassidy. Girls. It seems like everyone..." My voice trailed off. James looked cold. "Don't be pathetic." he growled. "But that was last month. I mean, I just..." "Jessica, you're being completely unreasonable." "James, since when have you been all..." I waved my hands around to indicate general disgust. "Since you started acting like some little two-year-old kid! What happened to the spunk, Jess? The general air of I'm-so-pretty-and-badass that used to be, well, YOU? Why did I turn you into some frickin' fairy?" Fresh tears poured down my face. I had no idea that James could be this angry. In my mind, he was sweet, compassionate, ever-so-slightly extremely clueless. But here he was, yelling at me like I'd... "I'm going." "Going where?" "Out for the night." He didn't slam the door, just closed it as quietly as anyone would know how. "MISTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" "Jessie, what on Earth?" I hadn't talked to Misty in nearly three weeks, and as I heard her voice she sounded older and smarter than the crazy girl I knew. *click* *sigh* "Butch?" "Jessie? Oh, God, what now? James -" "Is James there?" I said, almost excited. "No." "Huh?" "Jessie, are you okay? You sound really... Cassidy, hold on. Sorry, Cass is... very, very hungover. Very." "James told me the story. Then we had a fight and he left. And he's not there? He doesn't actually really have friends, and you're the closest thing really. Also, he doesn't have his cell, so don't try that." "No, he - Cass, I'm on the phone. Hey, Cass, did you see where James went after? Oh, wait, that wouldn't help, you said he came back, uh..." "It's okay, Butch." "Well, Jess, it's nearly 3." "What?" "It is." A long silence followed. Then I heard Cassidy shriek, "BUTCH! YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HELP THAT LITTLE... LITTLE... SLYTHERIN-FACED TURD!" "Cass, go to sleep." "No!" "Cassidy, what would you do if I went missing?" "Party." "Seriously." "FINE. I might call James." "Exactly. Jessie," Butch focused his attention back to me, "Do you want me to come over there?" "N-no! Butch, when'd you get all nice?" "Because it's 3 a.m., you're hysterical and six months pregnant to boot, and also James is a decent guy who I'd prefer alive." "He's alive! RIGHT?!" "Oh, I should not have said that." *click* Sure enough, Butch showed up. When he did, he told me that he'd called just about everyone on the way and no-one had heard a word - except for Becky. "Becky told me she knew where he was, and said nothing else. But Jessie, I think I heard someone's voice and it might have been..." "Nope." "I think he might have been a little bit... drunk." "Please," I snorted. "James is too lame for a drink." Then the overwhelming dread came in. "Becky. He's with her." Butch came and sat beside me, awkwardly deciding what to do with his arms. They settled around my shoulders and I didn't shrug them off. Instead I moved closer to Butch and sniffed. "Jessie, don't think this means you're over, you know. It's anger, it's a fight, and it might not even have been James at her house." "Sure it wasn't." "..." "..." "I don't really have anything else to say." "Then don't say anything." I turned towards him and pressed my lips to his. "Jessie, what the hell -" "Shhh..." I whispered as flirtatiously as I could, "It's anger, it's a fight, and I don't think we'll remember it in the morning. Right?" "Uhhh..." I kissed him again, not even really sure what I was doing. "C'mon, Butch... I need someone to take me out of here, and James is gone..." He finally gave in and let me kiss him. And kiss him. And eventually... James came back an hour or so later. "Jess? Are you here?" I broke apart from Butch and started to panic. "Butch, wake up." "Alread-" I clamped a hand over his mouth. *knock* "Jess? You in the bedroom? I want to talk to you..." "Um... I'm not really wearing clothes." "Oh God. Change then." I was starting to heavily regret last night. James sounded really... terrified. Worried. Sorry. "Butch!" I hissed. "What're we gonna do?" "I think we should build a snowman." "BUTCH! This is no time to be funny. And since when has someone like you watched Frozen?" "Jess? Are you talking to someone?" Fear rose in James' voice as he spoke. "Jessie, please don't make me come in there and find out that..." He gasped and started to cry. "I knew it. Why, why, why... I should have guessed when Cassidy called me. Butch, you're in there." "No, I'm not!" I glared at him. "Oh, shit. I guess I am." "Butch. Go." James said darkly. Five seconds later, Butch was dressed and out of the apartment. I didn't even bother putting on anything except a dress. James came and sat next to me. There was a silence. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cried. I'm not sure if I've ever seen James really, truly cry. But these were tears of pure emotion, not hysterical, not crazed or drunken, just sad and angry. "I'm sorry, Jess. I... I... was just... I don't know and I don't have an excuse for being mad. But I have to apologize for Becky. I went out, and she was there, and then there was a drink or two or more and before I knew it I was in her apartment, and she was on top of me and I hated it." "... I wish I had a slightly more sympathetic story. Butch came, because he was a bit worried, and he told me about the call with Becky, and I kissed him. Not him. I did. And then, and then and then, well, you know." "I can't fix everything we did, but I can fix one thing. Jess, we're seeing the house today." "Really?" "And from the pictures, it looks perfect." Two and a bit months later, we had managed to get every payment, every single thing to do with the house done. We stepped into the door for the first time that we could call it home. "James..." "Yeah, I know." He put his arms around me and smiled. "Oh, Jess, what a nightmare. But we're here." The house had two floors, a fair-sized back-and-side yard. There was a kitchen, living/dining room, and two bedrooms upstairs. Tiny, and just pretty and perfect. James and I ordered Chinese every night for a week, then he decided we should go on a picnic. I don't know how he did it, but he put the whole thing together nicely. We went to the park, the same park. "Haha! Jess! We're here! Lovely! Let's sit under this tree..." It was a very hot day, and after the picnic James and I lay down to look at the clouds for a bit. It was a beautiful, romantic, cheesy kind of day... I was confused when James took me to the closed ice-rink at sunset. It wasn't a long confusion. He dropped to his knees, fumbled in his pocket for something, and pulled out a tiny black box. I couldn't breathe. "Jessica." "It's been years. Actually, ten years. Remember the first day? It was sixth grade. I thought your hair was nice, told you so, and you punched me in the face. It was a while after that, when I was fifteen, that I started to really notice how nice your hair was, and how nice you were when you weren't killing people. We became friends, best friends, moved in across from each other... "And then we fell in love. Jess, it was this ice-skating rink! Right here! I kissed you, or you kissed me, and maybe we both did. But no matter. Then came a failed date, which ended up fine. Then a slightly explosive one, and we discovered this." He touched my gigantic stomach lightly and went on, "It was happy and devastating. But once we worked it all out, it was fine, it was beautiful. There was a horrible fight. But it was okay. "And I know it's going to be okay forever. That's why I'm asking you today. Jessica Rocket, will you marry me?" It was the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen in my entire life. "Yes. Oh my God, yes!" I started laughing and crying, and I realized there were a few other people who had been watching and were now clapping. "Ja- AUGH!" "Jessie?" A searing pain had ripped through me. "Um, James?" "I am in labor. As in, IN LABOR!" "Oh. Dear. Well..." James' face went black, and then he yelled, "JESS! WE GOTTA GO TO THE HOSPITAL!" He started running, then came back for me. He was freaking out for real. Here's hoping he doesn't faint. "A regular Sherlock. Let's GOOOOOO! And call Misty." Giving birth looks terrifying. Jessie is here with some nurse, screaming sometimes and yelling at me to not faint. "I'm trying! Jess, are you okay?" "I AM FRICKIN' GIVING BIRTH SOON! I AM -" She was cut off by a loud machine making a lot of noise. Another nurse and doctor appeared out of nowhere and pushed me out of the room into a waiting area. "Wait! What's happening! Is she -" *slam* "Okay?" There were two other guys in the waiting area. I slumped into a chair. "Hey." one of them said. "I'm Darell." "James." "I'm Tyler. Your wife okay in there?" "Fianceé." "Ah. She alright?" "I-I don't know." "... Sorry, man." "No, she'll be fine, I mean, she'd kill someone if she wasn't fine," I laughed weakly and sank even lower into the chair. "Probably me. That's Jessie for ya." "Boy or girl or boys or girls?" "I have no clue." "Me and Tyler are both expectin' boys." Darell looked like a star athlete. He was wearing a polo shirt, and he had a buzz cut. He looked about twenty-eight or so. That boy was hopefully sporty, or he was never going to make it with this dad. "You look a bit young to be a dad, James." "Twenty-one." I said, rubbing my head. A massive ache had just begun. "I'm thirty." said Tyler. Was I too young to be a father? Oh, the worries never stop. "JAMES!" Misty shrieked. She ran down the hallway and flung herself into a chair. "How's Jessie where's Jessie why's Jessie when's Jessie who's Jessie?" "Misty, she's in that room and I don't really know how she is. I'm not allowed in there." Misty's face darkened. "Oh, no. They only don't let the father in if something's really off." "Wait..." I looked at Tyler and Darell. Darell shrugged. "Her brother." "Her step-brother." Tyler said of himself. OH no. OOHH. No. I felt my legs go a little weak. VERY weak. It was a very long time to wait. Darell was taken out. Then Tyler. He came back beaming, walking towards the bathroom and saying, "It's a boy! I'm an uncle!" "James, I don't think I can stay much longer. It's been hours and Ash wants me home..." "A-alright, Misty. I'll tell you what happens." Just as she darted down the hall, a nurse came out of Jessie's room and motioned that she wanted to talk to me. I practically leapt out of my chair. "Is she alright?" "Well, first, congratulations! You, Mr. Morgan, are the proud father of two little girls." "Two?! Wow! Yay! So cute! Babies!" I started to feel a little crazy-happy, but stayed put to listen to the nurse for a few more seconds. "Mr. Morgan, what I don't think you see here is that Ms. Rocket did not come to the hospital, or really any medical facility, during her pregnancy." "I'm sorry? I thought she..." It dawned on me that she hadn't. "There were serious complications." "Serious... Serious?" "I'm sorry." I practically shoved the nurse back and fell at the foot of Jessie's bed. Sure enough, a monitor was flatlining. I put my head between my knees and started to cry. Not loudly. Just to cry. And as I cried, I remembered. The sky-blue dress on the first day of school. The first realization that I really, really liked her. Prom, where her date ditched her and I spent most of the time cheering her up. Moving in across from each other, and really flirting for the first time. Practicing skating for her. Kissing her for the first time. Holding her hand as we walked towards dinner. Letting her love me. Her face, slick with sweat, as an explosion boomed. Finding out about the girls. Her face and wrist, cut. The apology and trying to work everything out. Seeing a house with her. Owning a house with her. Her face, glowing as she saw a ring. And her face here, pale and lost. Misty had come back. She had turned around when she heard the nurse. She flew through the door and didn't say anything. She didn't explode or scream. She just crumpled to the floor like I did and stared. "Jessie?" she whimpered. We sat for a long, quiet time until a tiny cry interrupted the peace. "Oh my Lord, I'm a father now!" The tears changed to happy as I went to two cribs on the other side of the room. Two tiny sets of blue eyes looked at me, mirroring Jessie's. A tiny whip-like curl of purple hair was starting on one, and a little magenta fuzz dotted the other. "Misty! These are babies! Real-life babies!" "..." "I'm gonna name you Megan!" I said to the pink-fuzzy baby, "And you Mikaela!" to the other. Misty walked over and looked at the tiny pink blankets. All she said was, "I like those names." "Ssshh! Mikky! You're going to wake Daddy!" "I'm already awake, silly girls." "Oh. Happy birthday!" Mikaela giggled. Both of the energetic five-year-olds were sitting on my bed and bouncing around like frogs. Megan, always a bit quieter, crawled up to me and gave me a hug. "Oh, girls. How early is it?" I glanced at the alarm clock, which read 8:34. Well, at least they tried. "Well, Mikky got hungry so she wanted to wake you up!" "Nuh-uh! Megan got hungry, not ME!" "Well, I'm hungry too! Let's go see what we've got." I raced the tiny girls down the stairs and to the kitchen. To my surprise, there were a couple of half-inflated balloons, two hand-made cards, and a seriously messed-up cupcake on the counter. Megan piped up, "We made this stuff for you! 'Cept the cupcake. Misty got you that yesterday! But Mikky tried to eat most of it." Mikaela looked sheepish. I smiled. "Well, it'll still taste great." I read the indecipherable cards as best I could, then attempted pancakes. They looked disgusting but tasted fine, so the girls approved heavily. "Daddy, what are we gonna do-o-o today?" Mikaela singsonged. "Hmm... First, I think we should get dressed!" "Okay!" The girls scrambled over each other to get upstairs. I followed them, got a t-shirt and jeans on, and ended in their room as Mikaela and Megan put orange overalls on backwards. "Daddy!" "Those are backwards, girls. See, pockets in the front!" I turned their outfits around. "Don't do that tomorrow." "Why not?" "Tomorrow Butch and Cassidy are getting married, remember?" "Oh yeah!" Megan made a sassy face and said, "Finally." I sputtered with laughter. "Where did you hear that?" "You were talkin' to Misty on the phone and you did that." "Alright. I know! Let's go to the park." "Dad?" A twelve-year-old Megan tentatively sat at the table. "I want to talk to you?" I put down my book. "Shoot." "Well, um, I would ask Mikky, but she'll spread it around the school. There's a boy. His name is Greg, and he's really, really, really nice and... Dad! Don't give me that look!" "Oh, what look?" "Daaaaaaaadd! Anyway, I want to be his friend." "His friend?" Megan blushes. "Mm-hmm." "Hmm... share common interests." "He loves Pokémon." "THE MAN IS YOURS!" "Dadddddddddddddddddddddd!" "Just talk about that. I don't know. "Oh, you girls look lovely." "Dad, it's prom, we have to look lovely." "But you guys are so big -" *ding-dong* "That would be our dates." "I'll get it!" I said. Sure enough, Greg and Mystery were at the door (yeah, the poor kid's called Mystery). "Now, listen up! You two be good to my daughters, or I swear to God I w-" "Daddy! Come on, lighten UP! Mystery's a good girl." Mikaela giggled and the three girls and one guy walked arm-in-arm towards the school (they were walking? I don't really remember doing that for prom). Megan and Greg, even though they had been 'together' for a while, were shy and awkward in prom wear. Mystery and Mikaela looked psyched beyond words. I closed the door and sat on the couch. Misty trotted down the hall (she had done the hair). "Geez, Misty, I feel old." "Girls grow up, James." "Yeah. I wish Jessie was here, Misty. She'd probably have killed the dates already." "Hah! Yeah..." "Megan and Mik are going to college next year. What am I going to do?" "I don't know either... my own girl is starting high school." "I don't think she'll have a problem with high school. High school will have a problem with her!" "You got that right." "I just hope that everything goes okay for her, and for my girls too..." The girls returned home giggly and happy. As they walked upstairs, Megan held back and said, "Daddy, I'm happier than I've ever been." And I realized: so was I. Wow. End