A/N: Let's do this thing, guys. :]

This is a big step for me, I'm being honest. I'm completely against ANY emotional parings then those that go by the book. But I read one with Sirius and Lily in it (damn me for forgetting the name) and I adored it. Absolutely adored it. So here I am writing one that still involves James and Lily together in the end but the confusing jumble of Sirius's feelings for Lily. It explains why he never married before. :]

So let's get this show on the road:

Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Alice and Frank Longbottom, and Maple Richardton

Time: Seventh year of Hogwarts

Rating: Teen for language

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of these characters except for Maple. The places and so on ALL came from JKR. I take no credit. I own Maple and the plot.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Enjoy.

--Disaster

[X]

Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt. So where does that land you when your world starts crashing down and it suddenly hurts again? What happens when that fake smile, so well practiced, doesn't work anymore? Why is it so hard to hide yourself from the truth?

Lily Evans was curled up on the sofa in the Common Room, her quivering body the only give away of her silent sobs. She wasn't worried about being found. It was two in the morning; no one would be awake.

The waves of hurt crashed around her, pulling her under with each swell. She couldn't fight it anymore. She couldn't lie. Her armor was cracking and the emotions that flew out were no surprise to her. She had felt them all before but each time she let them out it became a little hard to patch up the holes and move along again. Just a little more pain, a few more tears, another strike of hate and it would all be over until it was set in motion again. She fought hard against it but she was fighting a battle long since lost. She was lost in her mind. She was fighting the only person that opposed a threat--herself.

She knew she couldn't' keep this up for much longer. She would have to end this one way or another. She was tried of the pain…the shock. She needed someone to help her back up every time she fell but the one person she wanted was no longer there. It was true, she knew it, but each time she was on her knees she looked for Severus like he was still there. He was long gone because she had sent him away. The one person she needed most wasn't around to help her up. So where was she now?

"Evans?"

Lily hurriedly wiped away her tears. She hoped her eyes weren't too red. She turned to see Sirius Black standing there, shirtless, at the foot of the dorm stairwell. She blinked away the heavy moisture in her eyes. She cleared her throat softly, made a mental check of her shaking hands, and spoke,

"Black."

She cursed herself mentally for attempting to speak. The quiver in her voice was dead noticeable despite the fact she spoke in a whisper. She was stupid for even talking to him. This would only lead to questions she rather leave unanswered.

His handsome features softened, making him all the more attractive. She turned her back on him, hating the knowing look his black eyes gave her. Her emerald eyes were swimming with unshed tears as the pain started again. He didn't know what was going…he could never know. Mostly because she wasn't going to tell him. She couldn't. She had sworn to herself to keep it all a secret--no one could ever know. Ever.

"Evans…" his tone was softer and it caressed her name before he spoke it. She only stiffened and kept her eyes forward. She wouldn't have spoken even if she could have. Her tears were choking her as she drowned in her misery. It was a silent hell.

"Lily?" he tried next, worry tinting his voice now.

She was thankful that he stood behind her. The tears flooded out of her beautiful eyes and cascaded down her cheeks in streams. She bit her lip t keep her body from shaking. He couldn't ever know she was crying. She wasn't going to tell him, either.

He can't know, she told herself, this doesn't need to include anyone expect you.

Sirius walked forward slowly, anxious. Normally she would have thrown something at him, told him to get what he wanted and to leave. Sometimes she was asleep when he came down here and he would cover her up. Yes, he was kind towards Lily Evans when no one but himself was around. She didn't even know it. Maybe now would be the time to speak up.

He was standing right behind her now. Her long red locks tickled his bare chest and stomach. He had never stood this close to her before. She smelled great…he hesitated slightly as he decided what to do. Would she slap him if he touched her?

It was then that a soft sob escaped her compressed lips. His black eyes widened in shock. Why the hell was she crying? This was ridiculous; she had no reason to be.

Sirius grabbed her shoulders and gently turned her around. He took his thumb and brushed away the tears without thinking about it. All he could really register at the moment was that she needed someone and he was here. Maybe he wasn't the rescuer she had in mind but he was what she was getting.

"Lily," he whispered softly, "Lily, Lily, Lily."

She said nothing as she peered up at him with tear filled emerald eyes. Her cheeks were splotchy from crying and she still looked beautiful. She was beautiful no matter what she was doing. He could see why James was so attracted to her. Could James see the hurt in her eyes when he looked at her? Could he see through her fake smile? Was he ever going to hold her when she cried like she was now?

Sirius reached forward and wrapped his arms around her. He sat down on the couch she had just left and held her against him tightly. His heart gave a wrench when she let out a little wail of misery. Her hot tears trickled down his skin like rain on a window. He didn't mind. He kept holding her in silence as she sobbed against him. He placed his cheek on top of her flaming red hair and was slightly shocked when it didn't burn him. He rubbed her back gently as she continued crying. He didn't say a single word. He didn't need to. He was a silent guardian attempting to block away all her pain. He was trying to save her from herself even though he didn't know it. All he knew as that she needed help. He didn't know what it was for but he was going to try his best to make it better no matter what happened. Right now she needed him and that was all he cared about.

"What is it love?" he asked her after an hour of her sobbing, "What has you so upset?"

"I c-cant tell you," she choked against his warm skin as another tear slid out of her eye.

"Of course you can. You can tell me anything," he assured her gently.

"I-I shouldn't," she couldn't stop the fresh tears as they spilled over.

"Give me a hint," he suggested, "It would be different if I guess it, right?"

She only nodded against his chest. After a few minutes of careful thinking, she finally whispered,

"They kill Muggles all the time and have any magical Muggle born on their hit list. They would do anything to have them living in fear until they found that Muggle."

"Death Eaters."

She must have been choked by tears again because all she did was nod. Sirius didn't say anything as he thought of his Pure Blood family. His parents agreed with Voldemort's idea and Regulus himself was going to become a Death Eater. Sirius was going to join the Order of the Phoenix when he left school. He wanted to stop Voldemort from tearing apart families like Lily's.

"Did he kill your family?" he whispered softly into her hair.

"Yes," her voice was muffled by his skin, "He killed my parents. Petunia is still alive but I don't know where she is. He's killed everyone, Sirius. I don't know what's going to happen. I can't stand to put anyone in danger but I can't just leave this world behind either. I don't know what to do."

Sirius reached down and tipped her head up. He stared down into her beautiful wet eyes and felt the thick walls around his heart crumble away. Sirius knew what it felt like to love but he kept his heart away from the hard fingers of females. At that moment, Lily captured hold of his heart like it was hers all along. He barley felt her soft fingers against it as she unconsciously made it her own. He loved very few people now he finally loved a girl. A girl so pure and beautiful that he wondered what took him so long.

"Don't worry about that now. You've got a long time until they find you. Let me keep you safe, love. I won't let anyone hurt you," he promised as he gazed into her eyes.

"Please," she whispered as she closed her eyes, "Please man it that you'll keep me safe."

"As long as you will let me."

The tears began to fall from her eyes gain and he pulled her close. He vowed to keep her safe no matter what it took.

Did that mean protecting her from James too?