AN/So, I've been working on this story for ages and finally decided to post it. Sorry for all of those following my current stories, but I'm just a little stuck on those. I promise, though, that they will all come to a nice resolution. This diverges after Demonology, and just as a head's up, I've never had cancer so my information may not be perfect, but I do my best to check facts. Let me know what you think!

As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.

"We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again."

-Nathanael Greene

"Jennifer Jareau?" The nurse called out from behind the door at the radiology department of the hospital.

"Alright." JJ huffed, trying to breath calmly to keep her under control. It all started two weeks ago, when she, remembering an urging from her mother to take care of her health, examined herself in the shower. Initially, she hadn't planned on finding anything. But she had. At first, she was sure that it couldn't be what she thought it was. She thought it might have been a lump from breast feeding, or that there had to be another possible explanation.

An entire week passed while she mulled over the possibilities. I don't have time for it to be a lump, was the common conclusion in her mind. Eventually, she had to face the cold, hard, painful truth. It wasn't a lump from breast feeding; she hadn't been doing that for a while. So picking herself up from the bootstraps, she did the sensible thing and called a doctor.

Amid assurances that it could be benign, that the lump could just be completely harmless, JJ took hope. The doctor's seemed very positive. But sitting in the waiting room caused her nerves to grow exponentially. Maybe she should have called her friend, maybe she should have even told her own family, but there wasn't time for that now. All there was time for now was fear and trepidation as she quickly changed into the hospital gown.

I really don't have time for this.

"Will, get in here." JJ called worriedly as she stood naked in her shower. "Now please."

"What is it, Sweetheart?" He asked as he strode in, appraising her unclothed body. It had been a while since she allowed him this close to her. Ever since Henry was born, they had been drifting apart.

"I need you to feel something." She insisted, grabbing his hand and placing it underneath her left breast, watching as his eyes grew frightened. "You feel that too, don't you?"

Will nodded gravely, his mind unable to comprehend the possibilities that suddenly landed upon his shoulders. "JJ"

"You feel it too." She stated again, her eyes swelling with fear.

"We should call someone." Will said slowly. "We should call your mom, she's a nurse, she'll—"

"I can't tell them." JJ whispered firmly. "Not until I know for sure."

"JJ, we need to call—" He begged, but she cut him off with a single glance.

"I'll take care of this." She promised, giving him a weak—and fake—smile. "Just let me. Okay?"

"We can do this together baby." Will pleaded. "I can be there for this—"

"It's not anything Will, it's just from breastfeeding." She insisted, unable to follow his thought pattern. "It's really nothing."

"JJ." He pressed, but she looked at him knowingly.

"It will really be fine, it's all going to be fine." And as she said this aloud, she knew that she was the one who needed convincing.

Time seemed to stop entirely. Sitting in the examination room in a gown that covered far too little was just too bitter to even bother with any semblance of hope.

She tried to reassure herself that it really could have been nothing, but the moment the doctor opened the examination room door, she knew that this was it. While she wasn't a profiler, she knew enough to know that the 'sympathetic look' wasn't a good sign.

"Ms. Jareau." He said slowly, gathering his words carefully.

"Please, if its bad, just tell me." She pressed, not needing any more pity than he already seemed to be giving her. "Just rip of the Band-Aid."

"When we did the clinical examination, it seemed that it was unlikely that it would be malignant." He began delicately.

"But—" JJ encouraged him on, wanting this to be over as soon as possible.

"During the FNAC, we drew bloody liquid from the tumor in question, and after lab tests and in conjunction with your mammogram, we—" He rubbed his hands over his moustache worriedly, unsure of how to proceed. "We can conclude for certain that you—"

"I have cancer, don't I?" JJ finished, not allowing him to prolong this any longer.

"We'd like to refer you to an oncologist as soon as possible, I would suggest Dr. Merriam. I've worked with her before, and she's one of the best in the area. If you'd like, we can have a nurse help you set up an appointment." He said kindly, the pity in his eyes almost unbearable for the blonde sitting on the exam table.

"Sure." JJ nodded, barely hearing him. This can't be happening. It just can't. She thought, desperately hoping that this was a horrible dream.

It wasn't.

"Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game."

-Voltaire