Author Notes: I want to thank my beta reader KateCater, who fixed all those irritating grammar mistakes, I never can finded. Thanks KateCater! This story is just a look into Michael's inner thoughts after No Man's Land, enjoy. As always I love comments and reviews.
Are We That Different?
It is said that we all need companionship, to feel like we belong. That there is more to life than just surviving. I believe that now. Once I thought the humans were different than we Wraith, they too have good and evil. They are just as unaccepting of strangers as we are to those not of our hive, and like us, they wish to belong. Maybe this is why I decided to help Sheppard save his friend and their planet. In the delusion that I would somehow be accepted among his people, his hive, when mine own would not. How foolish.
As I sit alone in the dark room, knowing my fate is sealed, I think of how pathetic I am. The experiment crawling back to its maker in a vain hope of acceptance. Why would they accept me? It was foolish for me to even think that the humans would accept me when my own beloved Queen, my mother, had looked at me with such disgust and pity. As if they would overlook what they had created, a freak that belongs to neither the world of human or Wraith, and one who knows far too much about them.
Oddly, I never blamed the humans for fighting back when we came to feed upon them, or for killing my brethren, even prior to being changed into Michael. I never blamed them for hating us, but what these humans did is far beyond that. It is worse then death and with no meaning of any kind.
They say we are infected with a disease and need to be cured, yet I know this isn't the case. If so, they would welcome those "cured" into their homes. No. They never planned to incorporate the Wraith turned human into their population. What they plan to do with us is beyond me, or maybe they had no plan. Human are so illogical at times.
Secretly, I hope when they return I will be killed. It would be kinder than what I know they plan to do. Had I really believed they would let me go? Let what they saw as evil walk away with the knowledge of their precious planet? The answers shocks even me - it is yes. Somehow I tricked myself into believing my act of helping save their people at the cost of never being welcomed again among my own would prove that I wished no harm upon them. It was foolish; I should have know better.
It was she who hurt me the most. I though if she saw that I would rather die than be turned back into a Wraith, they wouldn't do what I knew they would. Why could she not convince them to kill me, so I would not once again be changed into a human with no memories of my true self?She spoke of trust earlier; how had I betrayed their trust when they had never given me any? Humans are such foolish creatures. Maybe if they'd given me a little trust from the start it wouldn't have turned out like this. No, even then they never would have accepted me fully. The only thing left for me is to try and survive in a world where I do not belong.