Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

Blaine looked up at his boyfriend of nearly a year and grinned mischievously.

"Would you like to come inside for a minute? I'm pretty sure Jeff's gone home for the weekend." Kurt blushed and pressed a chaste kiss on Blaine's lips before extricating himself from the shorter boy's embrace.

"I'd better head home. It's a long drive." His soft, high voice was light, but Blaine heard the nerves underneath the tone. He smiled amusedly.

"There's no pressure, Kurt," he said, looking Kurt in the eyes. "I'm not trying to seduce you here…I'm just never quite ready to let you go at the end of the night." Kurt's cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red, the corners of his mouth turning up in an impish smile. When he spoke, his tone was teasing.

"I know," he said. "That's how I keep you coming back for more." And with that, he squeezed Blaine's hand and turned away, heading toward the south staircase that would lead him to the back way out to the parking lot. Blaine looked after him, his hand tingling, and pressed his lips together, fighting a grin at the buoyant, confident walk that made Kurt's hips sway distractingly.

"Seriously, if you guys don't start doing more than holding hands soon, I'm going to go crazy. The sexual tension is so bad I want to jump his bones."

Blaine shot his roommate a dirty look, but couldn't stop himself from laughing at the put-upon expression on Jeff's face.

"Jeff, I haven't said a word about Kurt all week. What gives you the impression there's rampant sexual tension?" Jeff gave Blaine a disbelieving look.

"You're kidding, right? Between the eye-fucking during Warblers practice and the way you guys literally never lay a hand on each other in public—even by accident? David's too well-bred and Wes is too uptight to say anything, but we're all just wondering when you're both going to spontaneously combust…or start doing it right where you're standing. I'm just hoping neither happens during a performance."

"You know, for all your supposed education and breeding, you have a mind like a sink."

"To quote the wonderful Madam Christie's Marple, 'sinks are necessary domestic equipment, and actually very hygienic.'"

Blaine just shook his head and returned to the book he was reading, but of course Jeff wasn't going to let it go. He never did.

"So…seriously. Tell me you guys at least kiss. I mean, this whole thing started with a kiss heard 'round the world, right? How is it possible you guys went from that to 'look ma, no hands?'"

Blaine gave his roommate a very annoyed glare, but then sighed. Relenting, he put down his book and turned in his desk chair to face Jeff, who in typical sloppy-Jeff fashion, was lounging on his bed with his shoes still on, wrinkling his uniform.

"Okay, yes, the whole thing started with an epic kiss. I don't know about 'heard 'round the world'…and please, if that is how you guys refer to it behind our backs, don't tell me. I don't want to know. But yes, we shared not one, but two incredible kisses. And then…nothing."

Jeff gaped at him, and mouthed the last word back at him soundlessly. Nothing?

"Nothing. I mean, we hold hands almost everywhere we go. If we see a movie, he leans his head on my shoulder, or I lean mine on his. Sometimes we play footsie under the table at lunch or in the common room. Sometimes—sometimes—he gives me a goodnight kiss, let's me hug him for longer than absolutely necessary. But other than that? Nothing."

Jeff blew out a sigh that caused his longish, blonde bangs to flutter before they settled back across his forehead. "Gah. And I thought girls were bad. How do you even stand it?"

Blaine shrugged.

"I like Kurt. Actually, I'm crazy about Kurt. He's all I could ever want in a boyfriend, and then a lot of things I'd never have known myself well enough to ask for. I could go on, but you're looking bored already," Blaine delivered this last part a bit sardonically, as Jeff's mouth gaped open in a yawn.

"Whatever, man. It's late and I pulled an all-nighter last night. Anyway, I feel for you. I don't think I could handle that. Not that I'm a total manwhore or anything. But if a girl wouldn't let me at least get to second base after nearly a year? I think I would spontaneously combust." Blaine chuckled ruefully.

"Well, if you see smoke coming out of my ears, just tell everyone to take cover." He tried to go back to his book, but his concentration was broken. Brow furrowed, he flopped down on his bed in a very un-Blaine-like manner and stared at the ceiling, thinking about that kiss, and wondering why there hadn't been a repeat in all the time they'd been dating. He finally managed to get to sleep, but the troubled look never left his face.

"So, how is short, dark and dapper these days?" Kurt snorted into his latte at Mercedes' description of Blaine and threw her an incredulous look.

"Blaine's not short," he said, frowning. Mercedes laughed and handed him a napkin for the foam on his nose.

"Right. And I'm a natural redhead," she said teasingly. "Level with me, Kurt. What have you guys been up to on all those solo dates? I want details." She grinned wickedly over her coffee cup at him, but he just rolled his eyes at her.

"That," he said primly, "is between Blaine and I, Mercedes Jones. Assuming there is anything to tell." Mercedes' eyes widened.

"You don't mean…" Kurt blushed, realizing too late that she'd see past his nonchalance. He refused to meet his best friend's eyes, and that was all the confirmation she needed. She let out a horrified gasp.

"Oh, hell to the no, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. You are not telling me this right now? You guys don't make out…or even kiss?" Kurt blushed deeper and glared into his coffee cup, still refusing to meet her eyes. Another affirmative. Her eyes got wider, if that were even possible, then narrowed.

"Okay, white boy. Spill it. Why are you and Blaine not getting your mack on? I know you've kissed before, and I figured you'd be making babies by now, the way you talked about that first kiss!"

"'Cedes!" He exclaimed indignantly. "Gay men can't 'make babies' together," he responded defensively. Now it was her turn to roll her eyes.

"You know what I meant. What's holding you back? I know he's kind of…well, proper. But is he really that big of a prude, that y'all don't even kiss?"

This time Kurt shifted in his seat and fidgeted uncomfortably in addition to keeping his eyes pointedly away from Mercedes. He sipped his coffee, crossed his legs, uncrossed them, fiddled with the hem of his jacket…but didn't answer her question. Mercedes thought here eyes might actually pop out of her sockets any second.

"Kurt. Please…please do not tell me that you are the reason the two of you haven't kissed since last March. Please do not tell me that, because if you tell me that, I might have to hurt you."

Kurt's silence spoke volumes. Mercedes' volume relayed her irritation quite eloquently.

"If you don't start talking right now, white boy, I will find that video of us doing "4 Minutes" and I will make damn sure it gets on YouTube before the night is over."

"Alright, fine!" Kurt snapped at her, turning in his chair to face her and glaring in a way that was extraordinarily reminiscent of an angry Burt Hummel. "That first kiss was spontaneous, and amazing. It was perfect. And ever since then…it's not that I don't want to, I'm," he grimaced, thinking of the awkward time in his room Blaine had tried to tutor him in being sexy. "…I'm just afraid to spoil it all with my utter lack of sex appeal and experience." As he said this last part, his eyes dropped to his coffee cup and his voice dropped low enough that it would only carry across the table to Mercedes' ears. In a second, her expression went from menacing to sympathetic.

"Kurt, what are you talking about? You're sexy as hell. And I hear it through the grapevine that you're an awesome kisser." Kurt's head snapped up and he stared at her questioningly. She laughed at his comical expression.

"Brittany," she said simply. "I was relaying your good news to Rachel and Tina in glee club, and Brittany said something like 'I feel bad for any boy who kisses Kurt, I've kissed every boy in school and he was the best. I couldn't kiss boys for a week, I was so impressed and insecure.'"

Kurt laughed disbelievingly. "Brittany S. Pierce said this? Well, I guess you don't get a much higher recommendation than that…ugh, I still can't believe I kissed a girl who only brushed her teeth with Dr. Pepper." He shuddered and Mercedes laughed. But then she fixed him with a severe look, and Kurt braced himself for what he knew was coming.

"And I still can't believe you've been dating Mr. Teenage Dream for nearly a year and you haven't even made out with him yet. Kurt Hummel, you better get on the ball before I get the Single Ladies together and stage an intervention." Kurt groaned.

If only it were that simple.

Mercedes Jones was one hell of a singer, unabashedly a diva, and a gossip queen. She also happened to be a very good friend. So as soon as she parted ways with Kurt after their shopping-and-coffee excursion, she scrolled to a familiar name in her cell phone and pressed the 'Call' button, waiting impatiently through a ringback tone of "Candles."

"Mercedes? Hey, I haven't heard from you in awhile!" Blaine sounded surprised. They had each others' numbers but they rarely called each other, and they'd never really interacted without Kurt present or involved in some way. Of course, technically Kurt was involved. He just didn't know it.

"Listen up, dream boy, because this is your only wake up call." She could practically hear him wincing at her tone, but she went on without pausing. "Kurt let it slip just now that you and he are so celibate you could give chastity lectures at a convent. I don't know what in the world you've been doing for eleven months, but I'm here to tell you that if you don't start making Kurt feel like the sexiest, most desirable man in the world very soon, you will find an irate group of divas on your doorstep. Oh, and I'll get Nick to post that video of the Gap Attack on YouTube, so help me God." Without waiting for a response, she hung up, a grim smile on her face. See if that didn't get the ball rolling.

Blaine stared at his phone, not even sure how to react. At first he was mortified that Mercedes knew anything about his physical relationship—or lack thereof—with Kurt. But then, he reasoned, he'd confided in Jeff as well. So he moved on to annoyed that she'd had the audacity to butt in…but of course, he knew Mercedes well enough to know that this mama bear persona only reared its head to protect her closest friends when they were really upset.

He settled on flabbergasted. Kurt is…what? Afraid I don't want him? He feels undesirable? What in the world gave him that idea? He's the most beautiful person I've ever seen! I tell him that, don't I? I tell him at least once a day how cute he is.

Maybe, said a niggling little voice in his head, but you also once told him his sexy faces looked like he was having gas pains. Blaine groaned and rubbed a hand over his eyes. Had he seriously said that? Yes…yes, he had. But it was a long time ago. He hadn't even thought of it again until just now. Of course, he wasn't the one it had been said to. Considering Kurt's general lack of experience and his tendency not to see himself very clearly at all…

God, I'm an idiot. Good job, Blaine, you've been dating the guy a year and you're still as clueless as you were the day he finally told you he liked you. Way to be a step behind.

But that pulled Blaine up short. The day Kurt first admitted how he felt…the Gap Attack…and Valentine's Day was coming up in a couple of weeks. Blaine grinned. I feel a plan coming on.

Kurt pulled his hand from Blaine's, trying to get the other boy to slow down and tell him where they were going. But Blaine wasn't being deterred today. He turned back only long enough to flash Kurt a heart-stopping grin and grab him by his jacket sleeve, pulling him along the hallway until he stopped outside the doors of the common room. The common room?

"Blaine…why are we outside the common room? Don't we have a Valentine's Day performance to get ready for tonight? I thought we were going to have one more Warblers practice before we all head to Lima." Kurt had accidentally started a tradition the year before, it seemed. He was secretly glad of it, though. He didn't think he could take the pressure of a full-out Valentine's Day date with Blaine. He had witnessed first-hand the way the boy tended to go over-the-top with romantic gestures. Ugh. Kurt hadn't been able to shop in a Gap since.

Blaine, oblivious to his boyfriend's impatience, simply smiled and took both of his hands, staring intensely up into his eyes.

"Kurt," he said, "almost a year ago I walked into this room and I told you how I felt about you. And I've never stopped feeling that way. But. I have to apologize, because I've never been totally honest with you."

Kurt stared at his boyfriend, mesmerized by his beautiful eyes and the suddenly serious tone of his voice. He felt a twist in the pit of his stomach. Oh no.

"I tell you all the time how beautiful you are to me, how adorable you are. But what I haven't told you," here, he pulled Kurt closer, so close there was barely room enough for their hands clasped in between them anymore. Kurt squirmed internally at the proximity, but he didn't pull away. It was like watching a car crash…all he could do was stand there and stare…

"What I haven't told you," Blaine was continuing, "is how utterly, amazingly sexy you are, without ever even trying. You could never act sexy, Kurt, because you're already so sexy that any interference just takes away from what's already perfect. And I'm so sorry, I should have told you that every day since the day we had our first kiss." He looked down contritely for a moment, before glancing up, and the dread in Kurt's stomach seemed to take on a solid shape. He knew that look. Oh God, no. I thought he'd learned his lesson, Kurt thought, panicking. He knew was was coming before Blaine even opened his mouth, which was fighting a coy, seductive little smile as he spoke.

"So now all I need to know is whether you feel the same way about me." He lost the battle against the smile as he pulled a horror-struck Kurt toward the common room doors. As he turned to open them, he glanced back over his shoulder at his boyfriend, grinning a little wickedly. "Well, Kurt? Do ya think I'm sexy?"

And the doors came open.

Oh my God. I'm going to kill him. It was Kurt's last coherent thought as he watched the Warblers, who had apparently been waiting silently within, burst into song.

Sugar…

Sugar…

mmm ... ooh…

With the part of his brain not thinking of ways to murder his idiotic boyfriend, Kurt wondered how in the world any of the Warblers managed to sing with those giant, dopey grins on their faces. Then Blaine started singing, and Kurt felt his entire face turning red with embarrassment at the words of the song.

She sits alone, waiting for suggestions.

He's so nervous, avoiding all her questions.

His lips are dry; her heart is gently pounding.

Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy,

Come on, sugar, let me know.

If you really need me, just reach out and touch me.

Come on, honey, tell me so…

Kurt wanted to sink through the floor. His brain was feeling a little overloaded. Now he wanted to kill his boyfriend, disappear into a hole and never come out again…and at the same time, he felt a fluttering in the pit of his stomach that quite honestly scared him senseless and made him want to run from the room. Why won't my legs freaking move?

He's acting shy, looking for an answer.

Come on, honey, let's spend the night together.

The sultry-supplication look Blaine gave him made Kurt's pulse quicken. He had reached his limit for mortification. He couldn't get anymore embarrassed. But apparently he still had room for other emotions. His mouth suddenly felt very dry.

Now hold on a minute, before we go much further,

Give me a dime so I can phone my mother.

They catch a cab to his high rise apartment.

At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant.

Kurt braced himself for the chorus. It didn't help. And as it turned out, he was wrong. He could be more embarrassed. And at the same time, Blaine was incredibly…sexy, there really was no other word for it. Kurt felt a sudden outpouring of sympathy for Jeremiah the Former Gap Employee.

If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy,

Come on, sugar, let me know.

If you really need me, just reach out and touch me.

Come on, honey, tell me so.

His heart's beating like a drum

'Cause at last he's got his girl home.

Relax, baby, now we are alone…

When Blaine sang "relax," he actually reached out and smoothed his hands down Kurt's arms, giving him a look that made Kurt suddenly ache to kiss him. He held back, but only just. He could kiss him after he'd killed him a couple billion different ways.

They wake at dawn 'cause all the birds are singing.

Two total strangers, but that ain't what they're thinking.

Outside it's cold, misty, and it's raining.

They got each other; neither one's complaining.

He say's I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee.

Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie.

Kurt tried to tell himself it was almost over. It had to be. And when it was over he could drag Blaine upstairs to his dorm room and…Wait, no! Anger, anger…embarrassment, wounded pride, homicidal intentions…God he's hot…wait, no! His inner prima donna had chosen a most inopportune time to desert him.

If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy,

Come on, sugar, let me know.

If you really need me just reach out and touch me.

Come on, honey, tell me so.

Tell me so, baby.

The song ended and he was suddenly face-to-face with a breathless Blaine, shiny-eyed and exhilarated, watching him expectantly for some kind of reaction. Kurt looked at his boyfriend, the boy who'd taken his hand when he was lost in unfamiliar territory, the boy who'd practically serenaded him the first time they'd met…the boy who'd given him courage, braved McKinley High's resident bully with him…the boy who'd given him his first kiss that really meant something.

Suddenly, Kurt couldn't remember why he was so mad. He closed the distance between himself and Blaine in two strides, grabbing the other boy's hands and pulling him in for a hard, passionate, really hot kiss that had both their hearts hammering in a matter of seconds. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him closer, so that practically every inch of their bodies were touching, from lips to…well, hips. One of the Warblers cleared his throat a little awkwardly.

Jeff shot the errant noisemaker a warning look and motioned for his fellow singers' attention, jerking his head toward the door. They got the message and filed out quietly. Not that Kurt and Blaine would have noticed if they'd gone out marching and chanting. Jeff grinned and rolled his eyes at the two lovebirds before backing out of the room and shutting the doors as silently as possible.

Alone at last, was some moments before Blaine and Kurt finally came up for air. Kurt leaned his forehead against the other boy's looking into his eyes and willing his heartbeat to return to normal. They were both practically panting, arms still wrapped around each other, lips parted, eyes locked hungrily onto each other. Then Blaine flashed Kurt a grin, and the taller boy found his lips again, kissing him so hard Blaine thought his lips would bruise. Not that he cared. They stumbled backward, never breaking their kiss, and fell onto one of the shiny leather couches, Kurt on top, Blaine pulling him by the lapels of his blazer.

Kurt pulled back after a moment, this time with some difficult as Blaine seemed reluctant to relinquish contact with his mouth. He smiled widely at the boy beneath him, idly brushing at a curl that had strayed from Blaine's usually perfect hairstyle.

"That was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Blaine Anderson," he said, his voice unusually throaty. The sound made Blaine ache to kiss him again, but he held back, Kurt's words making his whole face light up.

"Really? You liked it?" Kurt laughed lightly.

"I loved it," he said sweetly. And then his grin turned a little wicked as he raised one eyebrow at his goofily-grinning boyfriend. "And if you ever do it again, I swear to Lady Gaga and all her kin that I will never lay a hand on you again."

Blaine groaned and pulled Kurt down for another kiss. "Duly noted," he half-mumbled against Kurt's lips.

It didn't look like he'd need to do it again, anyway.

Author's Note: Okay, I just downloaded the track "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" from the upcoming Warblers album, and once the inevitable hopeless squeeing and fangirling died down to a reasonable level-it still hasn't entirely gone away yet-I found that all the noise had attracted a plotbunny. It just crawled up into my lap and looked at me with big, sad eyes and practically begged me to write it. After an obscene amount of coffee earlier in the night, I couldn't sleep anyway, so this was born. The teen rating is mostly for the lightly-suggestive remarks made by Jeff and Mercedes, mentions of sex, et cetera. Hope you enjoy it! Also, it's totally unbeta'd. Even my unofficial beta hasn't seen this one yet, so any mistakes are mine.

-The Raisin Girl