A/N This is a birthday gift for ChelsieSouloftheAbbey. I hope she enjoys it. After you read it, pop on over and leave her a Happy Birthday PM.
This little one-shot is set during Episode 6X07, when Mr. Carson is preparing dinner. Though I thoroughly despised the whole cooking story, that scene itself had some precious, hilarious moments, my favorite being the sleeping "crumble" mumble. You might be reminded of the three witches from MacBeth. My apologies to Mr. Shakespeare. (I'm not really sorry, but I felt I had to say that.)
Happy Birthday, ChelsieSouloftheAbbey!
Thrice, the husband hath complained.
Thrice, the wife hath just refrained.
Once, the friend hath schemed and feigned ...
Helpless Elsie, twisted-wristed.
Hapless Charlie, clenchèd-fisted.
Round about the kitchen go.
In the milk and butter throw.
Chicken, 'taters, onions, bread,
Cauliflower – half a head.
Put the kettle on to boil.
All this effort! So much toil!
Chicken bake and pudding bubble.
What a dinner! So much trouble!
Stumble, tumble, bump, and fumble.
Dinner burn and butler bumble.
Bump his knee and burn his fingers.
At the oven door he lingers.
Round the kitchen doth he bustle.
With the hot pot doth he tussle.
Wonder, blunder, fluster, bluster!
All the effort he can muster.
Rumble, grumble, newly humble,
Butler snooze and "crumble" mumble.
Don't forget the washing up.
Here's a plate and there's a cup.
Save it 'til the morning, though.
Just this once, we can forgo.
Now the cook is duly weary,
Body sore and eyeballs bleary.
Now his fingers have been burned;
Thus the lesson hath been learned.
Ne'er again shall he complain.
Ne'er again shall she feign pain.
Break the charm and end the spell.
All is well that endeth well.