Once upon a time, Demyx decided to see how long he could hold his breath. Only, he forgot to start breathing again afterwards. And that is where Axel found him three hours later.
Axel: ...ohh...-sucks in air between teeth- Shit.
Xemnas: Shit, indeed Axel.
Axel: How long have you been there?
Xemnas: That's not important.
Axel: Uh, yeah it is, if you've been there all along you could have helped hi-
Xemnas: I SAID IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. Now what IS important, is you fixing this.
Axel: Why do I have to?
Xemnas: Because Saix won't.
Saix: I see no problem with this.
Axel: -stare- WHY DIDNT EITHER OF YOU HELP HIM?
Xemnas: -looks at Saix-
Saix: -looks at Xemnas-
xemnas and saix: ...-LOL-
Axel: -twitch- ...okay. fine. ill fix him. -looks at demyx- uh... -kicks him-
Demyx: -no response-
Axel: Well, I tried. -whistles and walks away-
Xemnas: Damn.
Demyx: Since it didn't work does that mean I get to breathe now?
Xemnas: No.
Demyx: Fudgesicles.
Saix: I still think it's kinda weird that he doesn't have to breathe to keep living...
Xemnas: When you think about it Saix, are any of us living? Are any of us...truly...living? -looks off into the distance-
Saix: ...riiiiight...
Xemnas: ...
Saix: ...
Xemnas: ...
Saix: ...-waves hand in front of his face-
Xemnas: ...
Saix: Aw crap.
Luxord: -walking by with a box of wine- What?
Saix: superior froze again.
Luxord: Oh...
Saix: ...yuuuup...
Luxord: ...wanna go get hammered?
Saix: -sunglasses- Does Lindsay Lohan want more cocaine?
Luxord: Fuck yeah. -highfives and walks off with to go get smashed-
Axel: -walking down a hall, sighing- Poor Demyx, I knew he'd never last. Oh well...I guess I'll just go hang out with my BFF ROXAS.
Roxas: No.
Axel: -jumps- Holy shit how long have you been there.
Roxas: I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH YOU ALL DAY.
Axel: What, seriously? But my pants are flat as a pancake.
Roxas: ...god dammit. -facepalm- Yes, I have. You suddenly took off after you set my scrabble board on fire.
Axel: TWENTY POINTS FOR THE WORD "CAT" IS FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Roxas: -stare- why do I hang out with you.
Axel: You know, at times I really wonder.
Roxas: -sighs and walks away-
Axel: Roxasssssss, I was kiddingggggggg, wait uppppppp. -Follows-
Roxas: -notices Demyx on the floor- ...what's wrong with Demyx?
Axel: He's not breathing.
Demyx: Superior told me not to.
Roxas: What, why?
Demyx: It was supposed to be some kind of trap.
Axel: ...wait how is he talking without breathing..
Roxas: What kind of trap..?
Demyx: I'm not sure..
Axel: Seriously guys how is he talking without breathing.
Roxas: Who was the trap for?
Demyx: For Axel.
Roxas: Ah.
Axel: Is everyone just going to ignore me- wait why would Superior want to set a trap for me?
Roxas: Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe that time you threw up in his desk drawer?
Demyx: Or the time you convinced Luxord to start drinking again?
Roxas: Or the time you told Demyx that Lexaus was a ginger and gingers don't have souls, causing the organization thousands in therapy sessions?
Demyx: -blink- Who's Lexaus?
Axel: Well in my defense if we had just let Xigbar take a bat to his head like I suggested in the first place things wouldnt have gotten so costly.
Roxas: You know taking a bat to Demyx's head isn't the answer to everything.
Axel: -grin- Yet it never gets less entertaining.
Demyx: Oh! There was that time you also set Superior up on that blind date with that transvestite!
Axel: AHAHAHAHAH OH YEAHHHHH...
Roxas: -confused- From what I heard, Marluxia had a splendid evening...
Marluxia: -elsewhere- ...I have the sudden feeling I just got burned.
Axel: Yeah, yeah, anyway, my point is there's no reason for Xemnas to want to set a trap for me.
Roxas: -rolls his eyes and goes over to the still frozen Xemnas- Do all middle aged people get stuck like this or just him?
Axel: Roxas! -offended-
Roxas: What?
Axel: They're not called "middle aged"!
Roxas: Oh, sor-
Axel: They're "Halfway-to-corpseville".
Roxas: ...
Demyx: -starts breathing heavily in Roxas' ear-
Roxas: Demyx cut that out.
Axel: ...! Hey! We fixed Demyx!
THE END.