Disclaimer: Hi! Of course I'll say that I own Mr. Darcy and this plot, but sadly, I'm not as brilliant as Jane Austen is, 'cause everything belongs to her. I mean, even deceased writers deserve credit, right? Oh, and the diary format I'll be following is borrowed from Helen Fielding – I don't think she'll mind, 'cause she knows how it is to use Jane Austen's plot as well. Mr. Darcy likes bringing us all in the same boat… :)

Dedication: To Eileen Blazer, who's my awesome beta-reader, fake sister, and the girl who got me hooked on Mr. Darcy. :)

(1) Notes: As you can see, this is another modern adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Now, since my creative juices froze and the only way I could think of making this any different was combining the style from Bridget Jones's Diary and the plot of P&P, with my own twists in the future, perhaps. Now, don't be worried – Lizzy won't be counting calories or cigarettes in this one! Events will be narrated through diary form (the year's 2005), which I hope will be understandable.

I apologize in advance for any inaccuracies with my descriptions of the characters (I'm kind of new in the fandom) and London, which will be the setting. What I know about it is only based on what I've read or seen on TV… sad, I know. But hey, I live on the other side of the world… Um. I can't think of any more things to ramble about, except I want my own Darcy. Wah. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this!

Legend: thoughts, written words, foreign words, (translations) and / additional author notes /

Chronicles by melancholic

1. Every Family

Friday, June 3

1:00 pm. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a perfectly normal girl must have unusual roots.

I'm not saying that I'm totally abnormal or anything, but I do believe that "There's one in every family," as quoted from Lilo & Stitch. I swear, Lydia, my youngest sister, has been watching it too much. You'd think that someone who was fifteen would have some semblance of maturity, with six other people to guide her. But that's the case – majority of my family's not what anyone would deem in working order, with the different opinions of our neighbors to back it up.

The ff. are the descriptions of the residents of a house, somewhere in Longbourn Avenue, London:

My father, Thomas Bennet, is in his forties and doesn't look a day older than thirty. People wonder how he manages to look young if he's the only man in the house, especially since said home has the likes of Fanny (my mother), Kitty, and Lydia (my sisters). No, Dad isn't henpecked or anything – he's just the stereotypical strong, silent type who, in one way or another, tempers my mother's overexcitement quite well. I think it's because he spends so much time in our small library/study; in his sanctuary, I'm sure he's developed his patience through the task of perusing so many volumes of various books. I adore reading as well, picking up a habit or two from him, but it's Mary, the middle child who loves anything bound and between two covers, that rivals Dad in that field.

I already mentioned my mother. Fanny Bennet is a good mum in her own right – after all, she raised us, and we're decent ladies (well, except for Lydia and Kitty now). The thing is, she gets too enthusiastic about everything – packing lunches, attending school-related affairs, going to parties… name it, and she's there. This excitement leads to her being overdramatic at times, which can get very annoying. She's about the same age as Dad, though all her animation must've taken a toll on her appearance. She looka her age, yes, but I agree with my sisters that she appears too harassed at times. Maybe, if she learned the art of relaxation, things would be saner around the house?

Next on the list? Jane, the eldest at twenty-one, my house roommate, and best friend. She's the typical girl that everyone either loves or gets irritated with: sun-streaked hair cascades down her shoulders, with her eyes reflecting the color of the sky on a beautiful day. She's bright, diligent, optimistic, and offers a pleasant disposition to anyone she meets – and that's where the problem comes in. Sometimes, she can be too sweet and good-natured, she forgets the real world and the possibility that there's a bad side for everything. She's unable to speak wrongly of anyone, even if the situation calls for it – I believe that her niceness, though it does have benefits, will get the better of her someday. This is exactly why, though she scolds me mildly for it, I tell her to add a bit more snark to her lifestyle.

All right, before this pen runs out of ink, I'll have to introduce Mary, Kitty, and Lydia. They're eighteen, seventeen, and fifteen respectively. As mean as it sounds, there's nothing more to say about Mary, since all she does is pore over numerous encyclopedias. She's got a different kind of selective memory, where she recalls these little factoids about the weather or Civil War in America, but totally neglects to remember the slightly more important things, like the birthdays of her siblings. But I'm sure that knowledge will be useful, in case she decides to join Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and helps improve the family's social standing. Mum, Kitty, and Lydia would definitely be thrilled if we got an extra million dollars to burn for social events.

Yes, I'm left with Kitty and Lydia. Let me just say that Lyd, though stubborn and spoiled, is the most influential one in the family. She can even sway a grudging Dad (who claims I'm his favorite) to fork over cash so she'd be able to acquire her 'uniform', which consists of sparkly lip gloss, various kinds of make-up, a slinky halter top, and a short, short skirt. I've no idea why she does this, really. I think she ruins her already fair looks by making her face like a graffiti wall (Cirque du Soleil would do well in hiring her), and instead of attracting boys like her goal is, she makes them flee in the opposite direction. She's superficial, as you can tell, and I just don't base it on looks. Honestly. Her biggest secret is her obsession with animated Disney movies. Kitty and I are the only ones who know. Why me? It's 'cause I barged in on them one day, wondering what the racket coming from their room was about: they were singing along to songs from Snow White. I don't understand how she can derive sexual innuendoes, to tell her friends about, out of those innocent cartoons…

Last, and sometimes the least, there's Kitty. She's the fourth child, yet she acts like she's five years younger than Lydia. A bully would have a field day, bossing my sister around: Lydia assumes the bully role. Instead of developing a backbone, Kitty's grown self-esteem scoliosis, following in the footsteps of Lydia. Or being forced to, rather. They dress identically, have similar interests, and, in the rare occasions that Kitty stands up for herself, fight over the same guys. The only difference between the two, in attitude perhaps, would be that Kitty's less gutsy than Lydia.

I'll go back to the tagline from Lilo & Stitch: "There's one in every family."

If you guessed right, yes, I'm that "one" being referred to.

One… what? Actually, I have no clue just yet. The funny thing is, I'm quick in labeling people, almost always right in my presumptions, yet I can't even describe myself properly!

Let's give it a try: I'm Elizabeth Bennet, second child of the aforementioned Thomas and Fanny. I'm twenty, studying Law in Cambridge – yup, I'm on a scholarship. I'm on summer break right now, which would explain the length of this entry, since I normally don't have time to do the things I like. Call it studious, workaholic-like, passionate, or weird – I just don't like distractions or having nothing to do. When I actually allot time for my hobbies, I read (expectedly), write (though it's not bloody Shakespeare), and run (maybe it's one thing I'm good at). I like vanilla ice cream, movies with complex and intelligent plots (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), and… I dislike being dragged to parties, fighting with Jane, pranks, and… other things.

…I'll admit my hand hurts already. Who knew there'd be a new kind of exercise for my fingers, with the help of this diary that Dad gave me?

I'll continue writing later, 'cause I can't hold Mum off any longer – she's demanding that Jane and I get ready for this bash - for tomorrow - being held at Netherfield, the name of the Bingley summer estate. Said family recently bought it, and want to get acquainted with their neighbors – I think mum's getting hyped again, since we live a little far from the place, and I bet she's doing this to support her new mania of getting Jane and me hitched. Oh gosh, we're not even in our thirties yet – I'd like to think we won't die as spinsters!

Thankfully, the Gardiners – close family friends - live nearby. I'll be able to see my Aunt and Uncle soon! Talking to them would really be better than trying to socialize with snobs who think they're all in line to the throne (well, maybe they are), just because their social class is above us. Ugh. I never did see the point of naming a summer home…

Anyway, seeing how Mum would try to fanny about with them (hee, get the pun?) and my two youngest sisters try to get it on with some unlucky rich kid, would be interesting. Whoops, on second thought, I'd rather not witness the latter happening… ah, I'm going now. More later!

(2) Notes: Is it too late to say this is my first try at P&P fic, and I'm begging for gentleness? I made up the Longbourn Avenue place, since I'm not familiar with the streets of London. Also, I'm not sure about the Gardiners' names, so please - if anyone knows it, drop me a line! Thanks for reading this!

Next chapter: The Netherfield party, introducing our beloved Darcy! ;)