( Artemis and Butler get drunk )
Butler sits beside Artemis on a high bar stool at the front counter. It's three o'clock in the morning and they're both totally wasted.
Artemis lifts his glass to make a toast.
"To…um," He stops to think for a moment, raising his glass again. "To the fairies, for all their magic…and stuff…,"
Butler clinks this own glass to his and they both take drinks.
"Is he eighteen?" The bartender behind the bar asked, pointing to Artemis, who clearly isn't eighteen.
"Sir, the drinking age here, is twenty one." Butler points out.
"Oh." The bartender replies, and then just walks away.
"Hey, Butler, do you find Holy attractive?" Artemis slurs, as he leans against Butler, barely able to sit up straight. He even blinks unevenly.
"What?" Butler laughs.
"C-cause, I find her extremely attractive…," Artemis continues. "Butler, why doesn't she love me? It's because I'm unattractive, isn't it butler?"
Butler shook his head. "No. I-I don't think that's the case, Artemis…,"
"No. No. You don't have to say, Butler." Artemis began to cry. "I'm hideously ugly! I knew it…its hopeless…,"
"Okay, Artemis, I think you've had one too many." Butler says, pulling away from the counter and struggles to stand. "It's about time I took you home anyway."
He helps Artemis off the bar stool. Butler stumbles across the bar and to the front bar doors, looking like he's about to fall over while Artemis leans against him barely able to stand himself.
"W-wait! Butler, you're waaaaay too drunk to drive. I'll be the designated driver. Come on. Hand over your keys." Artemis slurs, leaning to on side unsteadily.
"No way, I-I can't do that," Butler says laughing in a daze. "Your mother would kill me."
"No. No. Give me your keys," Artemis says reaching out his hands unsteadily.
"No. I'm fine. I'm driving."
"No. Give me-gimmie your keys…," Artemis insists.
"I-I'm okay." Butler slurs.
"No, B-butler. You-you're too drunk. I-I can't let you drive like this. What if we get pulled over?" Artemis says louder than meant too. "I'm trying to be the better friend here. Just give me the keys." He held his hand out.
Butler frowned at him. "You know what? I-I…, you know what? You're right." Butler said, handing Artemis the keys. "Thanks Artemis. You're such a good friend."
"Aw, stop it. What are friends for?" Artemis slurred, staggering out the bar door with Butler.
Seconds later there was the sound of screeching wheels and a long black limo came crashing through the bar wall.
Everyone screamed.
Artemis sat in the driver's seat next to Butler, looking as though nothing had happened.
"It was like 'Whooosh', and I was all like 'Wwwooooaaaaaaaa'! And there was nothing I could do to stop it." Artemis said dramatically with full sound effects and hand movements.
"Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Butler hushed him with a finger. "If we stay real quiet. They'll never know we're here."
I hope everyone liked this :) It was just meant as a joke. I actually got some of this from the hilarious cartoon "Family guy". LOL XD I thought it would be funny with Butler and Artemis. Artemis is so serious. I thought if I made something funny with him in it, it would be a little different.
Don't forget to review. Tell me if you liked it or hated it. I don't care. Lol