it was another average day in i forgot where bayonetta takes place and okay so luka put on his fedora and said aloud, "Please God, let me meet her. All I want to is to find that perfect girl I know exists. She s sweet and shy and my age and likes all the things I do, perhaps even is on this plane of reality itself. The girl who won t secretly thin loser even though she does, the girl I can cuddle with (even if only possible online) and spent nights talking to and laughing and sharing happiness. Someone who can reciprocate the love I put in, the girl who I can make feel safe and secure unconditionally and can fill this gaping, empty void in my heart. Please, just let me find this person. I ll change everything about me if that s what it takes. Please, I just can t take the loneliness anymore," and then he walked over to bayonetta.
"do you want to go out with me?" luka asked.
"NO" bayo said.
tears feared luka's eyes and he ran away crying and he ran so fast his fedora flew off his head.
"wait, no!" bayo shouted.
luka ran into the middle of the road and got ran over. angels came down to pick up his body and bayonetta killed them, and began to speak to luka who was still able to speak a little longer.
"i wouldn't WANT to go out with you. i would LOVE to go out with you, chesire" she said crying.
luka dropped a tear. "call me by my real name just one last time" and as bayonetta opened her mouth to say luka's name, luka died before she could speak a single syllable.
one week later it was luka's funeral and enzo and rodin and jeanne and bayonetta were there and so were luka's old girlfriends who were actually just house cats. enzo tipped his fedora in respect for luka.
like this if you cry everytime