A Day in the Life of Me
By: Anonymous Narrator: She would wake up every morning by her father turning on bright lights and - Father: Let's move, move, move, move, move! Narrator: -- screaming. Anyway, she would go downstairs and then she would-

Anonymous: Aaaahhh!!! Narrator: -- fall down the stairs. She finally got used to it because it became part of her daily schedule. She'd walk into the kitchen and eat her unlimited supply of Choco Donuts. Anonymous: Chocotize me, Cap'n! Narrator: Ok then. She'd follow the rest of her morning schedule and then Legolas would pick her up in his shiny Lincoln Continental. Except for one day when he came to her house riding a shiny white horse. Legolas: Hey Mindi! 'Sup! Anonymous: You weren't supposed to say my real name Legolas! Legolas: Why not? Mindi: * sigh* Does the title "Anonymous" mean anything to you? Legolas: What does "Anonymous" mean? Mindi: Augh, forget it! Narrator: Anyway, she hopped on the back of the horse and they rode off to school. They were on their way when Sirius ran in front of them. Sirius: Stop! I have a very important message for you Anonymous. Mindi: You can call me Mindi now, Legolas ruined it. Sirius: Okey dokey! Anyway, there is going to be a snow day today! Legolas: Nice prediction Sirius, but it's the middle of May. Sirius: This isn't a prediction. I'm going to make today a snow day with magic. (Dun, dun, dun) Here goes nothing! Abracadabra snowyo dayo, POOF! Eric: * cough cough* Oh, hi Mindi! Mindi: Well Sirius, I don't see any snow except for the dandruff in your hair. Sirius: That's not funny! Eric: Yeah it is. Why wouldn't it be? Sirius: You know, you're really starting to piss me off. I think I'll recite that spell that made that kid Matt disappear. Narrator: But then he reappeared again, remember? Sirius: Shut up! Anyway, Abracadabra biggo moneyo, POOF! Aragorn: * cough cough* Hey look, a dollar! Eric: Ha, ha! Sirius: Grrrrrrrrrrr. Aragorn: Hey guys! 'Sup! What's Sirius doing here? Mindi: Long story, don't feel like telling it. Aragorn: Okey dokey. Narrator: So our little "fellowship"- Legolas: Nice pun. Narrator: Thanks. anyway, they went off to the Pine Acres School for the Gifted. Eric: Hey! This isn't where we go to school! Legolas: Well tough, I wanted to see where I went to school. Science: You, gifted? Ha, that's very funny Orlando! Narrator: The Science teacher ended up joining the History teacher at the bottom of the 3 hour fall cliff. History: Hi Ryan! Science: 'Sup Melissa! What's with the bruises? History: Long story, don't feel like telling it. Science: Oh. History: So, do you want to roast marshmallows while singing by the campfire? Science: Okay! Narrator: Well, if you focused the camera to the top of the cliff, you would see that nobody's there because we spent so much d*** time on the teachers! Camera: Sooooorrrrrry! Narrator: Anyway, they were back on their way to Mindi and Eric's school when their Math teacher popped up out of nowhere. Math: Ok kids, 3 angles of a triangle always equal- Narrator: She didn't get to finish because Legolas shot her with an arrow and Aragorn pushed her off the cliff. Aragorn: How big is this cliff's range anyway? Sirius: I don't know but I think it lasts forever. Aragorn: Oh. You mean that we could go to Antarctica and push somebody off the cliff? Legolas: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Eric: Cool, let's go! Narrator: So they all went down to Antarctica and, freezing their butts off, pushed some kid from Russia off the cliff. K.F.R.: Aaaahhh!!!! Narrator: They got bored again so they went back to traveling to H.M.S. They finally got there when- Mindi: Oh no! Not another big surprise! P.G.: Excuse me, but you are so in my way!
(awkward silence) P.G.: * ti* Move already! Mindi: Uhm. no. P.G.: Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just say no to me? Sirius: Uh. yeah. P.G.: Ah! ( talk to hand and walk away) Director: Hey, the script says you're supposed to talk to your hand, not make them talk to your hand. Aragorn: Augh, you know, you're way better when you're sleeping. Director: Ok, zzzzzzzzzz.. Eric: That's better Narrator: So anyway, they went up to the school doors and found a sign. It read, "Today is a snow day. Everybody go home." Sirius: Ha, I told you so! Aragorn: How is that possible!? Mindi: This is a fictional story, anything is possible! Sirius: See, but if you- Legolas: Just shut up before we all get into yet another fight! Sirius: Okey dokey! Eric: So, Mindi, do you want to go out today? Narrator: Ahem, and what about us? Mindi: Yeah, considering that I'm only allowed to group date anyway, I guess they could come too. Narrator: Yea! I mean, this should be very interesting. Legolas: Let's go! Narrator: So they all went to Macedonia for cheeseburgers and French ( freedom) fries. Eric: It's McDonalds. Aragorn: Boy, do you write sloppy! Eric: Shut. Up. Narrator: Ok, then they all went dancing to Mindi and Eric's favorite song, "Starry Eyed Surprise." Mindi: I don't believe I know that song. Narrator: Well in this story you do, okay? Anyway, it was a really fun date. They decided to end it at 4:00 p.m. Why that specific time I don't know. Legolas: I'm bored. Mindi: Yeah, so am I. Can we push some more kids off that cliff? Eric: Ok, at least it's something to do. Narrator: So they all went to France and pushed some rich guy of the cliff. Rich Guy: Aaaahhh!!!! Aragorn: Let's all go to Africa and save the people! Sirius: Wow, that sounds fun and it sounds like it makes a lot of money! Judge: Well congratulations! Your medicine was the best cure in the world! You have just won.. 10 billion dollars! Mwa ha ha ha! Legolas: Uhm... ok then. Mindi: ( whispering) But we didn't do anything yet. Sirius: ( whispering back) So, nobody else needs to know now do they? Aragorn: I guess not. Eric: Okey dokey! Spongebob: Hi everybody! Patrick: O m g! You totally have got to hear this story. You see, blah blah blah blah - Narrator: You know, you're way better when you're sleeping too. Patrick: Ok! Zzzzzzzzzz... Spongebob: So, we decided to come over to the light side from the dark side. Legolas: Good thinking! Hey, what's that big black hole over there? Whoooaaa!!! Narrator: So our little "fellowship" got sucked through a big warp hole. They landed in some random woman's house Random: Aaahhh!!! Who the heck are you?! Aragorn: Legolas, I don't think our fame from L.O.T.R. has helped people recognize us. Legolas: Me neither. Random: You're from L.O.T.R.? Sirius: Duh, everyone today has been obsessing over Legolas. Idiots. Legolas: Hey! Random: That's strange. I'm a really big L.O.T.R. fan , but I've never noticed you guys in the movies. Then again, that's probably because I'm too busy flirting over Gimli to look at anyone else. Eric: That's just nasty! Mindi: If this was any other man, I'd probably say that's because you're a guy Eric. This time I agree with you. That's really nasty. Random: You're opinion, not mine. Narrator: Yuck! Well, the group got sucked back through the warp hole and they were indeed very happy that they did. All of them contemplated on what they should do next.
( Jeopardy music plays while they rub their chins and ponder) Aragorn: I got an idea! Sirius: Thank you Aragorn! I was getting sick of the Jeopardy music. Legolas: So, what's the big idea? Aragorn: Let's go back in time and see ourselves from the beginning of the story! Spongebob: That sounds like a plan! Narrator: They found a time machine in the middle of nowhere and they went back to this morning. Hey, wait for me!
KAZAM! Narrator: Uh oh. It's kind of a bad thing when characters in a movie leave their narrator and their camera man behind.
KAZAM! (again) Eric: What's wrong with you Aragorn? Mindi: Yeah, we only just got to this morning! Sirius: He just doesn't want you guys to see him in his Barbie pajamas. Aragorn: What! ( whispering) How did you find out anyway? Legolas: You wear Barbie pajamas!? So do I! Narrator: Oh my god! Can we move on to a different topic please!? Spongebob: That is a really good idea. How about we all go down to Bikini Bottom for Krabby Patties instead. Eric: Great! I'm hungry! Mindi: Eric, we just went to McDonalds! Sirius: Ha! My spell is working! Aragorn: What spell? Sirius: The spell that makes him want to eat so much that he blows up! Mwa ha ha ha! Narrator: Legolas then shot an arrow into Eric which then turned dull and popped out. Mindi: Hey, what did you do that for? Legolas: That was a healing arrow. Eric is my favorite human boy. Eric: Thank you! Legolas: No problem kid. Narrator: All of the characters were still really pissed off at Sirius, so they asked him off the 3 hour fall cliff. Sirius: I can just recite a levitation spell you know! Aragorn: The last time you recited a levitation spell it was on a dead body. And you know what happened? It went straight to Hell! Sirius: Oh, well I can always recite a reincarnation spell when I hit the bottom! Spongebob: Just to let you know Sirius, you can't recite spells when you're dead!
PLOP! History: Well hello there! And who are you? Sirius: HELP MEEEEEE! Narrator: Ha ha! Anyway everybody else decided to go out to dinner in honor of Sirius's fall. The restaurant they went to was T.G.I.Friday's. Spongebob: ( singing) Eatin' good in the neighborhood! Mindi: That's the Applebee's song, Sponge. Look around. We're not in Applebee's. Spongebob: We aren't!? Well let's go to Applebee's! Legolas: Great idea! Eric: Wait! You almost forgot the potato skins! Aragorn: Augh! I am soooo bored! Narrator: Hey! I've got a great idea! How about we push you off the cliff Aragorn? Aragorn: Ok! At least it's something to do! Narrator: All of the characters still on the top of the cliff pushed Aragorn off. Sirius: 'Sup Aragorn! Come join the Campfire Lasses! Science: Why is it called the Campfire Lasses if there is more boys here than girls? History: Because it sounds cool, that's why! Aragorn: ( singing) Celebrate good times come on! Narrator: Moving the camera back to the top of the cliff- hey, what's that big black hole over there? Hey, is that a girl? Steph: Aaaaahhhhh!!!!! Spongebob: Aaaahhhh!!!! Steph: Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!! Mindi: Aaahhh!!! Steph: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Legolas: Aahh!! Steph: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Eric: Aaaaahhhhh!!!!! Steph: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Patrick: Thanks a lot guys! You woke me up! You are being so rude that I am soooo leaving! Good-bye! Steph: Bye! Spongebob: Alrighty then. Legolas: So whatcha wanna do now kids? Spongebob: Hey, who are you calling a kid? Legolas: I'm 2,931 years old. To me Sponge, you're a kid. Spongebob: Wrinkle creams? Legolas: Ssshhh.. Eric: I think that we should definitely turn the camera down to the bottom of the cliff to see what's happening down there.
( turn camera direction) Mindi: Hello down there from way up here! Science: ( singing) We love you Conrad, oh yes we do, we love you Conrad, and we'll be true. Oh, hi kids. Math: So anyway, any amount of angles placed on a straight line - Spongebob: Shut up! We're not in math class! Math: That's it! Detention for all four of you! Eric: I am not coming down there! Mindi: It's a snow day! Nobody gets detention! Spongebob: Well, I'm a good boy! See you all later! ( jumps off cliff) Legolas: He's too much of a good boy. Eric: Well now that he's gone what do you want to do? Mindi: It's 7:00 at night, so I guess we could start to walk home. Or.. Legolas: Yippee yay yo kay ay! Let's ride my shiny white horse! Eric: You have a horse!? Mindi: Duh! That's how we got here isn't it? Narrator: And so, they tiredly got back onto the horse and fell off. The horse was shocked by this and ran away. Run, horsey run! Legolas: No, wait! Come back here! I'll give you a treat! Narrator: It's no wonder that when he said that, the horse started running faster. Eric: Why exactly is it no wonder? Mindi: Hey, I wanna know too! Legolas: Let's just change the subject, ok? Narrator: Chicken. They hitch-hiked all the way to Eric's house. Mindi: I had a really great time tonight. Eric: Yeah, so did I. Mindi: One last little good-bye? Eric: Sure.
( faces start to get closer) Legolas: Let's go Mindi! Tick tock!
( Eric decides to shake hands) Eric: So I'll see ya. Mindi: ( somberly) Bye. ( walk away) Why does he have to do that! Legolas: Do what? Mindi: And it's all because of you too! You interrupted us and he didn't kiss me! Legolas: Well, soorrry! Mindi: Can we just go home now? Please? Legolas: * sigh* Oh, okay. Narrator: Our little duo slowly walked to Mindi's house when suddenly- Legolas: Why do we always have these big surprises? Mindi: Hey Legolas, look, it's your horse! Narrator: He, sorry, she said that she apologizes for running away and that it was only because she was shocked when you fell off her. Legolas: You communicated telepathically, didn't you? Mindi: Yawn! Can we move on please Legolas? Legolas: Yeah, it's getting late.

K.F.R.: What are you talking about? It's only 8 p.m.!
( push off cliff) K.F.R.: Aaahhh! Mindi: I wonder what's gonna happen to us next.
( house casts tiny shadow over them, then gets bigger) Mindi: I just jinxed us, didn't I? Legolas: Yeah, I'm pretty sure of that.
( awkward silence) M + L: RUN!!!
( pant, pant) Narrator: I'm sweating just watching you guys run! They finally got to Mindi and Eric's school and a poor person was sitting there. Legolas felt terrible watching this man freeze and starve. So he shot him with a arrow. But this wasn't any ordinary arrow. This automatically fed him for a year. Mindi: How come I never get any of your cool arrows? Legolas: Would you like a special killing arrow through your stomach? Mindi: That's okay. I think I'll pass on that one. I'll see ya tomorrow Legolas! Legolas: All right! I'm coming to save you Elijah, I mean Frodo! Narrator: That sounds vaguely familiar, but somehow I don't know why. Anyway she would go into her kitchen and, though trying to eat in peace, ate while her father jeered the opposing football team. Father: You suck McNabb! Get the f*** off the field! Narrator: She would then peacefully proceed to her bedtime routine. In a sigh, she would go to bed to read some of her book, " Everything You Wanted To Know About Winning 10 Billion Dollars and Not Doing Anything But Were Afraid To Ask." Then she would silently turn off her light and somberly say to herself- Mindi: Why is my life so boring?
THE END!