The rain battered the window, rattling it in its frame with the combined force of the wind, which blew in short, sharp gusts. Hakkai buried his head underneath the pillow, attempting in vain to block out the storm that raged on mercilessly. Despair, so familiar, began its slow advent across the dark recesses of his heart, extinguishing in a mere flash, all rationality and hope that took him a lifetime to rebuild.
The wind continued to howl, resonant with the dying pleas and curses of the thousands he'd slain. With a frustrated moan, he tossed his pillow against the window, cursing the rain for its cruelty. The pillow bounced off the window and landed on the floor with a soft thump. He sank his face into his trembling hands, making a conscious effort to breathe.
The door creaked opened, before it shut slowly.
"Hello Gojyo," he smiled, voice muffled against his hands.
"Oh hey, thought you'd be sleeping…" Gojyo said, only a little surprised, "Gods are in a bitchy mood tonight."
"I noticed," Hakkai stared out the window, absently noting the sounds of his friend changing in the darkness, "Did you have a good time?"
Smirking, Gojyo plopped down on his bed, resting his head on his forearms, "Poker, booze and women...need I say more?"
Hakkai gave a short laugh and walked up to the window, gazing at the drenched landscape, lost in the echoes of his memory.
"Isn't worth shit right before I fall asleep, though," Gojyo lit a cigarette, inhaling on it deeply before he let the fumes out.
Through the corner of his eye, Hakkai glanced at him, the only thing visible in the dark being the glowing tip of his cigarette.
Gojyo watched the smoke lazily spiral upwards, twisting in a mesmerizing dance, "Don't get me wrong, this world would be a sorry place without women... but it's that instant, right before you lose consciousness, it's when you're still high on alcohol and fantastic sex and have a gorgeous woman wrapped around your body and think nothing could ruin that moment, that's when it hits you…"
"It?"
"Yeah, it. Just when you think you're the happiest man in the world, your whole life sneaks up on you and bites you in the ass...it's always that moment though, right before you sleep…"
Leaning his head against the window, Hakkai smiled sadly, "A moment that seems to stretch on till eternity…"
Taking another puff of his cigarette, Gojyo glanced at Hakkai, "But see, sleep always comes, sooner than later, and none of it matters then, 'cos there's no need to think anymore. And when I wake up, well, it's hard to think at all when you're stuck with a whiny monkey and a sadistic monk for the rest of the day, not to mention a few dozen idiot demons with shit for brains who're bent on killing you. It's as simple as surviving that moment."
Chuckling, Hakkai watched his breath condense on the window. He watched it slowly disappear, leaving a view of the street in its stead, "Just like that?"
"Just like that 'Kai… all you gotta do is turn around…"
Hakkai continued gazing at the torrent, and then he smiled, "You realise it's your turn to do the laundry tomorrow."
"Bastard. This is what I get for trying to make you feel better," Gojyo leaned over and stubbed out his cigarette.
Laughing, Hakkai walked up to his bed and with a sigh, lay himself down.
"Gojyo…"
"You're welcome 'Kai."
Grinning, Hakkai stared up at the ceiling, eyes tracing the cracks in it, feelings of gratitude, and relief, however temporary, gently lulling him to sleep.
All you had to do was turn around, if only for a while…