This is exactly like my Yugioh Random Stories, but this time, it's WWE.
Title: Random Stories(WWE Version)
Rating: T for some language.
Summary: My collection of different random stories, except its the WWE version.
Warning: Extreme sarcasm, OOC, and randomness are in these stories. And slash. (MalexMale)
Pairings: CM Punk/Chris Jericho and many more.
Enjoy!
It all started when our predictably heroic hero, CM Punk, woke up in a bush. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly frustrated, CM Punk grabbed a carrot, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Ever so extemperaneously, he realized that his beloved iPad was missing! Immediately he called his favorite Mormon, Chris Jericho. CM Punk had known Chris Jericho for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were striking ones. Chris Jericho was unique. He was clever though sometimes a little... selfish. CM Punk called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Chris Jericho picked up to a very happy CM Punk. Chris Jericho calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys yawn before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually wildly sigh after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting CM Punk. Why was Chris Jericho trying to distract CM Punk? Because he had snuck out from CM Punk's with the iPad only two days prior. It was a striking little iPad... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before CM Punk got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. Chris Jericho belched. Relunctantly, Chris Jericho invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iPad. CM Punk grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Chris Jericho realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iPad and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if CM Punk took the amphibious vehicle, he had take at least eight minutes before CM Punk would get there. But if he took the Segway? Then Chris Jericho would be abundantly screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Chris Jericho was interrupted by seven oafish marmots that were lured by his iPad. Chris Jericho yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling puzzled, he aimlessly reached for his potato and recklessly poked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was CM Punk.
-o0o-
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a calculated leap, CM Punk was out of the Segway and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Chris Jericho's front door. Meanwhile inside, Chris Jericho was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the iPad into a box of carrots and then slid the box behind his hammock. Chris was concerned but at least the iPad was concealed. The doorbell rang.
"Come in," Chris Jericho indiscriminately purred. With a mighty push, CM Punk opened the door.
"Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling coke fiend in a wannabe go-fast Civic," he lied. 'It's fine,' Chris assured him. CM Punk took a seat ridiculously unclose to where Chris had hidden the iPad. Chris sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But CM Punk was distracted. A few unfulfilled decades later, Chris noticed a funny-smelling look on CM Punk's face. CM Punk slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'..."What's that smell?"
Chris Jericho felt a stabbing pain in his crotch when CM Punk asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the iPad right by his oven. "'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!"
A lie. A oafish look started to form on CM Punk's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. "Th-th-those are just my grandma's bananas from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier".
CM Punk nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Chris could react, CM Punk skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The iPad was plainly in view.
CM Punk stared at Jericho for what what must've been eleven nanoseconds. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, Chris groped himself indiscriminately in CM Punk's direction, clearly desperate. CM Punk grabbed the iPad and bolted for the door. It was locked. Chris let out a electric chuckle. "If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, CM Punk," he rebuked.
Chris Jericho always had been a little annoying, so CM Punk knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Chris Jericho did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his iPad tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Chris Jericho looked on, blankly. "What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know."
Silence from CM Punk. "And to think, I varnished that window frame six days ago...it never ends!"
Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for CM Punk. "Oh. You ..okay?" Still silence. Chris Jericho walked over to the window and looked down. CM Punk was gone.
-o0o-
Just yonder, CM Punk was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind Jericho's place. CM Punk had severely hurt his shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral marmots suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iPad. One by one they latched on to CM Punk. Already weakened from his injury, CM Punk yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of marmots running off with his iPad.
About eight hours later, CM Punk awoke, his double chin throbbing. It was dark and CM Punk did not know where he was. Deep in the arid imaginery desert, CM Punk was really lost. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he remembered that his iPad was taken by the marmots. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life.
That's when, to his horror, a bloated marmot emerged from the bush. It was the alpha marmot. CM Punk opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the marmot sunk its teeth into CM Punk's love handle. With a faint groan, the life escaped from CM Punk's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than eleven miles away, Chris Jericho was entombed by anguish over the loss of the iPad. "MY PRECIOUS!" he cried, as he reached for a sharpened live hand grenade.
With a apt thrust, he buried it deeply into his shin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about CM Punk... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the iPad that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant marmots, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead.
So, no one lived forever after, the end.
Well, what did you think? I will take requests for different pairings. Leave them in my PM box.