Belonging
Had the island become the place where they belong?A Kate and Sawyer oneshot.
Secret santa present for Tasha
The survivors crowded the beach. Some relaxed in their makeshift huts, some enjoyed the sun as they lay on the hot sand, while others divided up the day's gathering of fruits and berries. As Kate observed the scene, she couldn't help but realise that somewhere along the way, somewhere in the month since the crash, life on the island had changed. People had formed relationships and found things to do, whether it be simply to occupy themselves or to contribute to their survival.
She realised, looking at the community before her, that they were no longer all strangers, stranded in a foreign place with no sense of belonging. Belonging; an idea of rare existence in Kate's life. Perhaps it was most strange then, she realised, that it was here, in this place and this life, that she had become most settled.
Of course she dreamed of being rescued. How could one not? She envisioned the day where they would be found. She imagined a huge sailboat, with white sails lit gloriously by the sun, as it illuminated a vessel in the waters for the first time in who knows how long, if not the first time ever. But even though Kate dreamt of such a day, she could not deny the strange sense of calm, peace even, that she had come to feel on the island.
"Deep in thought, Freckles?" The teasing voice spoke near to her ear as Sawyer appeared behind her and moved past her towards his hut.
"I was," she said, referring to Sawyer having interrupted her quiet moment.
"Thinking's overrated," he said with a careless shrug, as he hastily adjusted the tarpaulin acting as a front of the hut.
"You know, Sawyer, you can put up this whole dense act, but you read, you obviously think."
"You've got me all figured out, huh?" he said challengingly, turning and tilting his head to the side as he looked at her.
Kate's face wore the hint of a smile as she shook her head and sat down in the sand. She looked at Sawyer, who had moved inside his hut and appeared to be sorting through his belongings - or those he had claimed as his own.
"You think we belong here?" she asked, tracing a random pattern in the sand with the index finger of her right hand.
He reappeared out of his hut and stood beside it, looking down at her with a confused expression.
"What?" he questioned.
"Do you think we belong here? All of us." She paused briefly and looked up before continuing to explain. "I mean, we've been here a while now and everyone seems to be finding their way. You know? We have a system and people are starting to seem… I don't know, content I suppose."
"No, we don't belong here, Kate," he said, as if there were no question about it.
"It's just that being here doesn't seem so terrible anymore." She spoke more as if she were speaking to herself, or perhaps simply speaking whatever was on her mind. The thought did briefly cross her mind that Sawyer was probably not the best person to have a deep conversation with. She knew he was intelligent, but he was also disparaging.
"This isn't a life, here on this damn island." He gestured around him, at the expanse of beach and jungle. "This isn't some messed up form of salvation or new hope. We were just unlucky, ended up here."
"Or lucky, depending on how you look at it," she commented. Looking up at Sawyer she explained her point of view. "We survived."
"Doesn't mean this is our place in the world," Sawyer said as he looked at Kate for a moment before moving back inside his hut.
xxx
Kate lay in Sawyer's arms, her upper body held closely to his, while her legs lay against the dirty ground of the cage. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep. She was simply basking in the moment, with Sawyer's "I love you too" which he had spoken just moments earlier, echoing in her mind. Kate opened her eyes to the encroaching darkness of the late evening, studying the shadows of the cage's bars which fell across Sawyer's chest. She sat up slightly, looking up at Sawyer's face. His eyes were open and he stared off into the distance outside the cage. Kate smiled and spoke, remembering a conversation she and Sawyer had once had.
"Deep in thought, James?" she said playfully, breaking the momentary silence.
Sawyer's head lowered as he focused on Kate, her words bringing a smile to his face, matching the one on her own. He paused before speaking – somewhat rare for him – as if choosing his words carefully, still sorting through his thoughts.
"You know how I said we don't belong here?" he spoke, obviously also remembering their long ago conversation.
"Yeah," she spoke softly, curious as to where he was going with this.
"Even if we don't belong here, even if this isn't our place in the world, you were right…" Kate looked up at him as he trailed off. He quickly continued with words that were quite an understatement considering the joy he felt right then. "Things here aren't so bad."