Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace || Afterglow of Victory || Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace
Title: Afterglow of Victory – Death Isn't the End, it's their Beginning
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters reserved to Ed Decter, the books the Shadowhunters is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: shounen-ai, polyamory (threesome), hurt/comfort, cuddles, pain/panic attacks
Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood
Summary: Set after episode 2x20 "Beside Still Water"! Lying about what happened at Lake Lyn only works so far for Jace, particularly when he's living with his parabatai and his parabatai's very perceptive warlock. And while Magnus and Alec try to rekindle what they had, maybe what they had isn't what they want now. Maybe they want a little more. A little more blonde in their life.
Afterglow of Victory
Death Isn't the End, it's their Beginning
Jace was bent over, crouching on the ground, trying to claw at the street beneath him, trying to hold onto something, anything, but being unable to. He felt disconnected, alone, couldn't breath or focus or even think. He couldn't even move, like his body was locked. It was just like dying. The pain taking over until he couldn't do anything anymore and the fear of slipping away overtook him.
He was dying, again. He was going to die and then he would be gone for good.
And then it was just over. Just like that. No actual death. No actual injuries. Just the aches and aftermath of the pain. Nothing more. What... had happened? What was this? A flashback? Panic attack? Kind of, it reminded him of what he had gone through since his little cruise with Valentine. Only that this had been more intense, more physical. It wasn't just his mind providing the pain and panic he had felt when dying. It had been the actual pain of it.
Breathing shallowly, Jace slowly gathered himself up into a semi-upright position.
"Jace? You okay?", asked Alec curiously.
Jace's eyes widened as he turned around to find Alec and Magnus exiting the bar, both looking at him curiously. Had Alec felt what Jace just went through? Jace had put him through enough pain today, really. Alec deserved a break. And what in the hell was that anyway...?
"Don't tell me you drank so much you can't walk straight", grunted Magnus unimpressed.
"Jace", snorted Alec as he reached for Jace and gently grabbed his arm. "You really shouldn't overdo it like that. Even if we have every reason to celebrate. That settles it. You are coming home with us. We just wanted to ask if you'll come, but I'm not leaving you here alone."
Oh. Somehow, in a very selfish way, this hurt even more than the thought of Alec having felt the same intense pain Jace had just experienced. Alec had felt nothing. Was... their bond not rekindled yet? It felt weak and thin, yes, but... that weak? Horror overtook Jace for a long moment as he feared that he might have lost the most important thing in his life after all. What if coming back from the dead hadn't fixed the parabatai-bond after all? What if it remained broken?
"Hey", whispered Alec gently, wrapping his arm around Jace's waist to support him. "You alright?"
"P... Peachy", muttered Jace, taking slow, calming breaths before he could have a panic-attack.
Magnus hummed curiously as he opened a portal for them. Alec and Jace followed the warlock and with how much his muscles ached, Jace was grateful for the portal. And for the parabatai helping him through it, even though Alec seemed to think Jace was unsure on his feet due to alcohol.
"So... you coming along means the two of you... fixed things?", whispered Jace carefully.
"We're... going to try", nodded Alec honestly. "We both made mistakes. And there's no... point in hiding it under a rug and hoping it'll go away. There's a root to our problems and that's miscommunication. So we'll try and do better. Talk more."
"Sounds good enough to me", grinned Jace strained.
He was glad. He was relieved, on both their accounts. They both deserved the world and when they were happy, they were so perfect together. But yes, what Alec was saying was true. Both of them seriously sucked at communicating and no one knew that better than Jace, considering he lived with the both of them. Granted, after Alec and Magnus broke up, Jace had been ready to pack and leave, knowing Magnus only endured him because he was Alec's parabatai. Or at least that was what Jace had thought. Magnus had stopped him, with gentle eyes, and told him he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted, that the nature of Magnus' and Alec's relationship wasn't going to affect the promise Magnus made to Jace. To give him a safe place to call home for as long as he needed it.
/break\
Magnus woke up in the middle of the night to cold sheets. He sighed in disappointment. Yes, of course admitting that they both still loved each other despite how angry they were still at the other was not going to magically fix their problems. Magnus wholeheartedly agreed with Alexander's assessment; they needed to work on their communication and on their trust. But Magnus had genuinely hoped that at least for tonight, it would be enough to keep them both in the same bed. After the events of the past few days, all Magnus had wanted was to wake up with Alec in his arms.
Sighing in slight frustration, Magnus got out of bed and decided to make himself a tea. Maybe check on the cats. Chairman Meow had been in a foul mood since Catarina had been over, somehow that cat was way too territorial and saw her as someone imposing on said territory. On his way to the kitchen, he passed Jace's room. Unable to control the urge, he opened the door to check on Jace.
Over the past months of Jace living with him, Magnus had to admit that he had grown more than just fond of Jace. He might have fallen a bit in love with him. And perhaps Jace was another reason why the relationship between Magnus and Alec had been so strained. Alec never stopped loving Jace and Magnus had started loving Jace and on a ridiculous level, Magnus and Alec found themselves jealous of the other. Jealous over their bratty blonde. But neither of them had the balls to truly confront the other about it and so it put additional strain on their relationship.
"Alexander", whispered Magnus surprised when he peeked into the bedroom.
There, on the bed, sat Alexander, back leaning against the headboard and Jace's head in his lap. Jace was deep asleep while Alec was running his fingers through golden-blonde hair oh-so gently. Alec looked up at the sound of Magnus' voice, eyes sleepy and a little red-rimmed.
"Hey", whispered Alec back. "Why are you up?"
"You weren't in bed. I went to make myself a tea", replied Magnus. "Why are you up?"
"...My... I woke up in a cold sweat, had a nightmare about how... how the rune vanished... I just... I had to check on Jace, to see if he's... really here, really alive", admitted Alec. "Sorry I worried you."
"No. Don't be sorry", sighed Magnus as he went to sit down next to Alec. "I saw the way you broke down when you thought him dead, Alexander. I understand why you'd want to make sure he truly isn't. That boy... he really needs to stop worrying us so much, doesn't he?"
"Mh", grunted Alec in agreement and leaned eagerly against Magnus.
Magnus smiled and relaxed, gently wrapping an arm around Alec. This, Magnus could understand. Alec being here because he worried for Jace. It was far better than any alternative in Magnus' mind. And honestly, it had terrified Magnus to see Alec break down like that. Magnus had held Alec for minutes as the archer cried and sobbed and screamed for it to not be true. Partially, it had been the last push to make Magnus want Alec back, because he knew holding Alec like that, keeping him safe and protecting him, it was what Magnus wanted to do. He loved Alec too much to leave him alone in that kind of pain. A pain Magnus couldn't even begin to grasp.
"What do you think happened?", inquired Magnus gently.
"I have no idea, but I know he's lying about it", replied Alec seriously. "What I felt was real. I felt him die. I felt how our bond was completely severed. He was gone. And before that, I felt this... intense pain in my chest and abdomen. I don't know, I don't understand it..."
"We'll ask him about it tomorrow", assured Magnus softly, kissing the top of Alec's head. "For now, I suggest, we should at least try to get some sleep. It's been an exhausting day for us all."
Alec hummed softly in agreement and slid down against the headboard until he was resting with his head on Magnus' stomach, Jace carefully tugged between them both.
/break\
Jace blinked bleary-eyed as he woke up surrounded by safety and warmth. This was new. Well, old. He used to wake up to that feeling a lot in the past, when he'd wake up from a nightmare about Michael Wayland's bad parenting. Alec used to hear him scream at night and he'd crawl into bed with Jace and just hold him and sooth him. It got more frequent after they became parabatai, because when Jace had a nightmare, Alec felt the unease and he'd make his way to Jace's room even before it got more extreme. In the past year... not so much. Half the time, their relationship was tense because of all the bad decisions made and miscommunication – heh, Jace and Alec had the exact same problems as Magnus and Alec. And the rest of the time, Jace felt too awkward to ask for it because Alec now had a boyfriend and Alec was sleeping in his boyfriend's bed, in the other room, so how could Jace possibly be selfish enough to ask Alec to come and comfort him?
Blinking slowly, Jace rubbed his nose along the expensive, soft material of silken pajamas, taking in the scent that was unmistakably Magnus. Frowning confused, Jace tilted his head some, just to notice that he had his face buried in Magnus' stomach. Magnus Bane. In his bed. This was Jace's room – Jace hastily made sure to look around and make sure because oh by angel what if he sleep-walked into their bedroom and had found his way into Magnus' bed, that would just be embarrassing. The frown on his face deepened even more as he noticed the arms wrapped around his waist from behind and the warm body pressed against his back. A possessive hand was pressed against Jace's parabatai-rune. Alec. Blinking again, Jace turned enough to check that yes, his parabatai was laying behind him, curled protectively around him. Still frowning in utter confusion, Jace allowed himself to snuggle up against the warmth of his parabatai. He startled when gentle fingers started playing with his hair. Looking up, he saw that Magnus was awake.
"So... you guys got lost on your way to bed?", asked Jace curiously, frowning.
"Alexander woke up, panicked after what had happened yesterday. He felt the need to make sure you're alright", explained Magnus softly. "You... gave us all quite the scare yesterday."
Jace opened his mouth to dismiss it. But he wasn't stupid. He knew that Magnus and Alec were possibly the only people Jace couldn't lie to about this. Alec had literally felt Jace die and 'Oh, ooops, that was a mistake. Your rune just glitched and had to reboot' was not going to work.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to die", whispered Jace lowly.
The soothing movement of Magnus' fingers stopped and Jace could feel Magnus stiffen beneath him. "So you did die. What... How? And how are you... alive now?"
Judging by the forehead being pressed between Jace's shoulder-blades and the way the arms tightened around his waist, Alec was awake too. Alec started gently tracing the parabatai-rune on Jace's hip, shirt pushed up to pool around Jace's belly-button.
"Why did you lie?", asked Alec, voice rough with sleep.
"Valentine surprised us at Lake Lyn. He... stabbed me, repeatedly. Stomach and heart. I... bled out on the ground, in Clary's arms", admitted Jace lowly, eyes focused on Magnus' expensive pajamas.
"Sweetheart", sighed Magnus softly, fingers returning to their task of massaging Jace's scalp.
Alec hugged him so close, it felt as though he was trying to become one with him, Alec's face pressing nearly painfully against Jace's shoulder, his breath coming out in sharp, jagged puffs against Jace's neck. Jace carefully rested one hand atop of Alec's on the rune.
"Valentine, he raised the Angel. He raised Raziel. But... Clary... Clary killed Valentine and then she... she asked the Angel for a favor", whispered Jace shallowly. "That... That's why I lied."
"Mh?", grunted Alec in utter confusion, frowning.
"She had one wish. The Angel granted her one wish. Everything she could possibly want. And... she brought me back to life", elaborated Jace, nervously playing with the seam of Magnus' pajama shirt with his free hand. "She—She could have wished for something useful like world peace or to end hunger. She could have asked for Simon to become human again. She could have brought her mother back from the dead. She could have asked for anything, but she chose to bring me back."
Alec looked utterly confused as he tilted his head up to stare at Magnus. It wasn't a big surprise. Alec had somehow already expected something like this. After all, Jace had died. There was no other explanation for what Alec had experienced. And the Angel had been summoned. They had seen that with their own eyes. Adding one and one and reaching two was really not that hard.
"You... lied because you... didn't understand why she'd wish to bring you back", whispered Magnus slowly in realization. "You don't understand why she would bring you back instead of Jocelyn, or instead of wishing for a 'greater good'. So you decided to lie, so... no one would actually voice the question burning on your mind, didn't you? Because you don't want to hear someone ask why she'd bring you back. That... is why you lied, isn't it?"
Jace tilted his head down and remained silent. Magnus had gotten way too good at reading him. Alec behind him made a pained noise, pulling Jace even closer, nose buried in Jace's hair.
"It's because she loves you, you're like a brother to her, she already lost so much family but you are still there. It's because we care. None of us would have questioned it, Jace. Not me, not Magnus, not Izzy, not even Simon. None of us would have questioned her decision to bring you back, Jace", whispered Alec hoarsely. "I'd have brought you back without blinking an eye. Who cares about the greater good? We're still human. We're still selfish. I'm selfish. Don't ever die again."
"I'm sorry", whispered Jace lowly, fingers clawed into Magnus' shirt.
"You better be. Reckless Shadowhunter", sighed Magnus firmly. "We were worried. Which is an understatement. We were heartbroken. Isabelle and I, when we just... stood there, watching Alexander break down, screaming in pure agony, calling out you were dead... I've rarely been that frightened in my long life, young man. You will not do something like that again."
"I promise I'll not get myself murdered by my own father again", snorted Jace sarcastically. "I mean, two out of three of my fathers are dead. Three out of four if you'd care to separate Valentine's Michael Wayland persona from his openly sociopathic true self."
"Jace", groaned Alec, face buried in Jace's neck. "Please just shut up and lay there, being alive."
His fingers were pressing down into the parabatai-rune on Jace's body in a manner that was going to leave bruises tomorrow, but Jace wasn't going to complain about it. He relished being this close to his parabatai again. They rarely were anymore these days.
"But I think breakfast would be a good idea", stated Magnus seriously. "You two barely ate anything yesterday, between all the drama and action going down."
"No—o", complained Alec with a frown. "I am not leaving this bed, or this parabatai, any time soon. Meaning you don't get to go out of bed either, Jace. And same goes for you, Magnus."
Magnus smiled gently down at his archer, heart warming a little. "Oh, darling, I never said we'd have to get out of bed. You forget one very important thing..."
With a quick flick of his wrists, he summoned a breakfast worthy of a king, laid out at the foot end of the bed. Both Shadowhunters grunted in approval as they slowly sat up a little.
"Magic. Right. Handy", hummed Jace and licked his lips.
"You don't know the half of it", chuckled Magnus with a mischievous wink.
Alec squeaked and blushed while Jace laughed. And in that moment, Magnus realized that maybe, Alec and Magnus had been going about this all wrong. They had spent the past weeks jealous of each other – every time Alec would come home to find Magnus and Jace buried under cats, laughing and talking, the archer would feel left out, every time Alec and Jace would share one of their silent conversations and focus on their bond, Magnus would feel left out. They definitely needed to talk about that. And then they also needed to weight their options. But looking at Jace and Alec quarreling over a croissant while everyone was comfortable in their night-clothes, the sheets tangling around their feet... Magnus could definitely get used to this.
/break\
Alec was staring unfocused at the words in front of him, the book slowly slipping from his grip. He seemed unable to shake Magnus' words. Things had changed since Jace came back from the dead three days ago. Changed for the better. Finally, Magnus and Alec seemed to be on the same page.
Magnus had confronted Alec, had made the both of them actually talk about their feelings for Jace. Something they had never done before. Despite Magnus having seen the memory Alec had given up all those months ago, despite Magnus knowing about Alec's feelings for Jace, Alec had never actually voiced them aloud to his boyfriend. And Alec, in return, he had seen the gentle, tender way Magnus had been looking at Jace recently, but he couldn't find it in himself to ask Magnus about it, because part of Alec was terrified of the option of Magnus leaving him for Jace. Another part of him had been terrified Magnus would in return confront Alec about his own feelings for Jace.
Magnus' proposal had hit Alec like a truck. "I think what the two of us need is a little more blonde in our life. Maybe if you and I were to share our feelings for Jace, it would take away a lot of tension between us. And quite clearly, our little puppy here needs all the love he can get."
Those words still ran through Alec's mind. If he was being honest, it had helped. Actually hearing Magnus admit that he loved Jace. Actually saying aloud that he himself loved Jace. And, if Alec was being truly honest, he loved the idea of having both Magnus and Jace to call them his own.
So since yesterday, Alec was left picturing it. Picturing being with both Magnus and Jace. Which had become increasingly more easy after they had woken up together in bed two days ago. Waking up with Jace in his arms, with Magnus having an arm around him, it had been pretty much perfect.
"Darling? Are you sleeping with your eyes wide open?", asked Magnus amused.
Shaking his head, Alec turned from his book to his lover. Magnus had an amused smile on his lips as he approached their bed, only wearing his robes over his boxers. The warlock had just taken a nice, long, hot bath. It'd be too nice if they'd get to catch a break, but they still had to deal with the aftermath of Valentine's mess, they had to rekindle Clave-Downworld-relations, they had a lot of work to do. Finding out where exactly the demons had vanished off to was one of them. But Alec was pretty optimistic they'd get a handle on things soon. They got backup – Aline and Lydia had returned to the New York Institute, among others – to help with the work. And once things were cleared up, Alec had promised Magnus that they'd go on a nice, romantic vacation together. Alec had already coaxed Lydia into taking over for him at the Institute for at least a week or two once things calmed down. Lydia had agreed, with a fond smile.
"Hey, where did you go just now?", asked Magnus curiously as he climbed into bed.
"The Caribbean", muttered Alec half-seriously. "Our promised vacation. I really need it."
Laughing delighted, Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and rolled them over so Alec came to hover above his warlock. Absentmindedly putting the book down, Alec leaned down to kiss Magnus slow and deep. Magnus hummed contently into the kiss, laying his arms around Alec's neck.
"You got home late", whispered Alec softly, running his fingers down Magnus' chest.
"Mh. I have to admit, I got kind of kidnapped after the meeting", chuckled Magnus fondly. "Madzie was with Catarina and I couldn't deny her as she wanted to play with me. I'm sorry."
"Oh. Don't be sorry then", grinned Alec pleased. "How is Madzie?"
"Good. She... misses us", hummed Magnus softly, a forlorn look on his face.
"We gotta work on our relationship before we can even think about bringing a child into this house", grunted Alec, both eyebrows raised as he kissed Magnus briefly.
"I know, I know", sighed Magnus in defeat.
Alec rolled off Magnus and both came to lay next to each other. It was far past midnight. Alec and Jace had gotten home late after long missions too, but when Magnus still hadn't been home, Alec got a little worried. He knew the Downworld was still kind of a mess, Raphael, Magnus and Luke had to work on untangling themselves from the Seelie Queen.
"It's great having Lydia back", hummed Alec softly.
"Ah. Do I need to be jealous over the ex-fiance?", teased Magnus with a smirk.
"Yes. I truly want to dump you right now so I can ride off into the sunset with her", drawled Alec with a deadpan. "She's an amazing Shadowhunter and an amazing person. She's already being a great help to me. And I think... I think Izzy is flirting with her?"
"Interesting", hummed Magnus curiously. "So Miss Branwell will get her own Lightwood after all. As long as she's not hung-up on my Lightwood, I fully support that."
Alec snorted and turned to bury his face in Magnus' neck. "I love you."
"I love you too, darling", smiled Magnus gently.
For a while, the two of them just laid together like that, leisurely cuddling while being half-naked. Magnus had shed his robes and was only wearing his boxers, giving Alec the opportunity to sleepily trace Magnus' sixpack with the fingers of one hand, his other hand pressed against his parabatai-rune, as though he was trying to physically hold onto it. This was nice. Comfortable. Alec had missed this more than he would have thought, in the brief time they had been apart.
"...Hey. You two... uhm... you're still awake."
Blinking slowly, Alec looked up to see Jace awkwardly shifting in the doorway, wearing nothing but low-riding sweat-pants. Alec swallowed hard. How was Jace allowed to be that gorgeous? It just wasn't fair. Had never been fair on Alec or his teenage libido either. And if possible, he only got more gorgeous with the time. Jace's hair was messily falling into his face in that way that always made Alec want to reach out and tuck it back behind Jace's ear so Alec could see those beautiful mismatched eyes. Those mismatched eyes that were staring expectantly at him.
"Wonderful observational skills, sweetheart. So proud of you", drawled Magnus amused.
Jace huffed and glared at the warlock, shifting around a bit awkwardly. "I was just... on my way to the kitchen and saw that you still had your lights on. So... uhm... yeah."
"It's... fuck, it's one in the morning, when did that happen? Why are you going to the kitchen?", asked Alec confused after he glanced at the clock.
"I figured I'd make some chocolate chip cookies", shrugged Jace casually, biting his lower lip.
Magnus raised one eyebrow. He was aware that nighttime baking was Jace's way of coping with flashbacks and nightmares. But he noticed the way Jace was dragging his feet, lingering in the doorway nearly hopefully. The way the blonde kept staring longingly at their bed.
"Sweetheart, would you... care to join us?", asked Magnus slowly.
"W—What?", grunted Jace, freezing up as he stared at Magnus in surprise.
"You could have gone to the kitchen and baked as you've been doing for months. Instead, you're standing there, looking at us like a sad little puppy who got kicked out of the house and has to watch though the glass-door", explained Magnus patiently. "It's okay if you do, Jace. Alec and I sneaked into your bed last night because Alec couldn't stand being apart from you. He's been checking to see if his parabatai-rune is still there at least a dozen times in the short time I saw him today. I can't imagine what it must feel like for you, who you actually died. It's okay if you're seeking reassurance that you're back here, that your parabatai is still here. It's... okay to seek comfort, Jace. You didn't judge us about coming to your bed last night. We're not judging either."
Jace bit his lips so hard, Alec was pretty sure it'd break any second now. Alec... hadn't even really thought about this before. About how much Jace must be suffering. Alec was still so stuck in his own turmoil, he hadn't even thought of Jace's pain. Frowning, Alec rolled off Magnus some, enough to properly face his parabatai. Slowly, Alec lifted the covers in invitation.
"Magnus is right. We sneaked into your bed, it's only fair if you get to do the same", grinned Alec reassuringly. "And to be honest, I guess I would sleep better feeling your heartbeat..."
Alec knew Jace needed a push. That Jace still couldn't admit being 'weak' or 'vulnerable'. Alec used to do the same when they were kids. He'd lie and say he had a nightmare and that he'd feel better if he could sleep in Jace's bed so he wouldn't have to be alone, even though it had been Jace, having terrible nightmares about watching his father be murdered. And just like back then, Jace gladly took the excuse and walked over to them. Since they didn't exactly leave a lot of room on either side of them, Jace reluctantly crawled in between them. Alec eagerly pulled his parabatai close until the blonde was pressed flush against his chest, both of them having their heads resting on Magnus' torso. The warlock hummed softly as he wrapped one arm around Alec's shoulders. The three of them adjusted a little until they were settled comfortably enough. Jace blinked slowly as he realized that he was cushioned by Magnus' bare skin. It was warm and soft and very comfortable. His eyes slowly trailed down to inspect Magnus' sixpack, curious to see how well-trained the warlock was. When his eyes trailed lower, he made a slightly high-pitched, surprised squealing sound.
"What was that?", snorted Alec amused, half-grin on his lips.
"You don't have a belly-button, Magnus", grunted Jace stunned.
Magnus and Alec froze at that. Right. Magnus rarely showed anyone his second warlock mark. Even with Alec, it had taken him some time to show it, but Jace had just truly surprised them.
"...I don't", confirmed Magnus with a dry throat, clearly uncomfortable.
"That's mighty impractical", muttered Jace. "Where does Alec drink his champagne from?"
It took a moment though then Magnus started laughing, shaking his head slowly. "You are... something else, Jace. Not to mention, Alexander doesn't like champagne."
Jace hummed softly, lifting a hand as though to touch, but then pausing. "Can I...?"
Blinking slowly, Magnus nodded. "Yes. Go ahead, sweetheart."
Curiously, Jace ran gentle fingers over Magnus' sixpack, down to the place where his naval should be. Smooth, flat skin. Jace started running circles over the smooth skin, completely fascinated by it. The surprisingly gentle touch made Magnus shudder. The motion slowed down until it stopped, Jace's hand laying limp on Magnus' stomach. When Magnus looked closely, he noticed the blonde had fallen asleep. Alec was still caressing Jace's parabatai-rune.
"I think I like the idea of him falling asleep in our bed", whispered Alec lowly.
"Me too", agreed Magnus softly, smiling to himself.
/break\
Jace had a serious problem. Multiple problems, probably. Because the pain-attacks were still happening, leaving Jace paralyzed in both pain and fear. He had warned Clary that there would be consequences, but like always, she just didn't care. Not just in the heat of the moment, but also not in the aftermath. She had shrugged him off when he had tried to tell her that there was always a price to pay, just laughing at Jace and telling him it would be fine.
Problems number two and three were how he had irredeemably fallen in love with both his roommates, who were very happily dating. It had been three weeks now that Jace was back from the dead. That the war was over. And Jace was pretty sure he hadn't slept alone once since then.
He had been falling for Magnus slowly for a while now. It just got worse now.
The particular problem he was facing right now was the fact that things had finally calmed down, as far as things would ever calm down for them. Which meant Magnus and Alec were going to leave for their romantic at-least-two-week vacation tomorrow. Romantic vacation. Kind of felt like a punch to the gut right now, because Jace was so hopelessly in love with them and by falling asleep in their bed for the past three weeks, Jace had nearly forgotten the truth. The truth that Jace wasn't part of them. That the happy couple in love were Magnus and Alec. That those two loved each other and not him. That he was the one hopelessly in love with someone who was happy. Happy not just with someone else but also with each other. Without Jace.
Additionally to that, there was the problem of his pain-attacks. Jace had found out that the aching afterward usually faded faster if he got to hold the other half of his soul close. With Alec gone for at least two weeks, Jace didn't want to picture how bad they'd get.
Another one of the multiple problems Jace had was to control his glowing. His angelic blood reacted to intense emotions, particularly so emotions linked to those he loved. When the demon had been hurting Magnus, Alec and Clary. When hugging Clary as they were trying to track down Jonathan Morgenstern – it was pathetic, he knew that, but Jace so rarely got positive physical contact and he still considered Clary his sister, so to hold her and being held by her sent intense warm feelings through him. Having the Circle-members nearly beheading Jace's sister-by-anything-but-blood, fearing for her life. These days, when he found himself waking up surrounded by the warmth and safety of Magnus and Alec, Jace would feel an overwhelming warmth spread through his being and he could feel himself at the brink of glowing.
Fucking angelic powers.
Literally the last thing Jace needed was to wake Magnus and Alec up with a light show. Even popping a boner would be less embarrassing, because hey, that was biology and all, right? But how could Jace possibly explain that he was so deeply, purely in love with them that his angel-blood literally made him glow golden?! So maybe them going on vacation was good after all...
/break\
Today was the day. They were going to leave for their get-as-far-away-from-the-NY-drama-as-possible vacation today. Lydia was officially in charge for the time being, Isabelle more than eager to help her. Catarina was taking over all High Warlock business and everything else that might be coming up. But leaving for their vacation was not the only thing they were going to do today.
Magnus and Alec were determined to take Jace with them. So they were going to confess to Jace, to come clean because Magnus and Alec have had enough of secrets at this point and they knew simply talking about things and feelings was the best they could do. They were also rather optimistic about it, considering that Jace had spent the past three weeks sleeping in their bed. Cuddling with them. Falling asleep in each other's arms.
It had helped Alec immensely with dealing with the loss of his parabatai and his parabatai-rune, to have Jace and to hold him. But Alec didn't think it was fully working for Jace. The blonde seemed so drained and exhausted. Sometimes, he'd look incredibly worn-out and Alec couldn't explain it.
So Alec woke up energetic, eager and insanely nervous.
When he opened his eyes, he looked directly into Jace's face. The both of them had fallen asleep tucked under Magnus' arms last night, abusing the warlock's chest as their pillow. Jace was seemingly just at the brink of waking up, his eyes half-lid. Alec's eyes widened. Not blue-and-hazel were looking at Alec but pure gold. Like molten gold, in flux, shifting as though it was just melting. They were beautifully breathtaking. Alec had heard of them, from Clary and Isabelle, both fawning over how gorgeous their brother's eyes were. They had not been exaggerating.
"Alec", hummed Jace, voice unusually soft and sweet, a lazy smile on his lips.
Jace reached over Magnus' chest to grasp Alec's hand resting there. He intertwined their fingers. Jace was most definitely not yet awake, he was still in this blissful state of half-asleep. He looked so content, no happy even. Seeing his parabatai like that made Alec's heart flutter. Every morning, Alec wanted to wake up to the happy and serene faces of both Magnus and Jace. Having enough presence of mind, Alec started poking his boyfriend hard so Magnus would get to see the pretty eyes too.
"I swear-", groaned Magnus displeased as he woke up and glowered at his boyfriend.
But as soon as his eyes opened to glare down at the two Shadowhunters snuggled up to him, words failed him. Alec had a wide-eyed expression on his face, staring straight at Jace. As Magnus followed Alec's line of sight, the words died on his tongue. Jace had his head tilted up just a little, looking at Magnus with hooded eyes and a serene smile, but the eyes looking at Magnus were not the same beautiful ones Magnus had gotten used to at this point. They were pure gold.
"Magnus", hummed Jace, with that same sweet voice he had said Alec's name with.
"Good morning", whispered Magnus softly, not wishing to break the moment or startle Jace.
Carefully, Magnus started running his fingers through Jace's hair. With a content little sigh did Jace lean into the touch. This was adorable. Magnus wanted more of this, every morning preferably. Though the moment was broken by a shocked gasp from Alec. Frowning, Magnus searched for his archer's eyes, but before he could even ask, he noticed it himself. Jace was glowing. Not just glowing metaphorically, with the cute smile and happy expression. Literally glowing. His parabatai-rune glowed bright-golden and from there on out, his other runes lit up too. Golden eyes widened comically as Jace looked down himself, seemingly utterly mortified. Hastily, Jace grabbed the sheets to pull them over himself and hide his glowing torso. Magnus' magic made the sheets turn into a poof of smoke. He was so not going to miss out on this sight.
"I... heard that you glow, but I've never seen it before", whispered Alec hoarsely.
Groaning in utter embarrassment, Jace tried to hide his face Magnus' chest. "Just... forget it."
"Why do you glow, sweetheart?", asked Magnus intrigued.
They sat up some, Alec leaning against Magnus' side and gently kissing him just below the earlobe. Without even uttering the words, he conveyed what he wanted to say. This is gorgeous, I want to keep him. Magnus hummed in agreement. Jace's face was dark-red as the glowing slowly subsided.
"It just... happens. I don't have control over it", muttered Jace defensively.
"Mh, really?", drawled Magnus out teasingly.
"Clary said it happened when you guys were searching for Jonathan. Combining your angelic powers. Are you... trying to use your powers?", asked Alec confused.
"No", huffed Jace and shook his head, rubbing his face slowly. "I only do the glowy-eyes thing when I use my powers. And, well, whatever rune I activate of course. The... whole-body-glowing..."
"Ye—es?", inquired Magnus intrigued.
"Talk to me, parabatai", pleaded Alec softly, grasping Jace's hand once more.
"I only glow when I'm... genuinely happy", muttered Jace and made a face.
"And what about this morning in particular made you so happy?", asked Magnus curiously.
Jace gritted his teeth and averted his eyes, not looking at either of them. "I've been glowing every morning for the past... two weeks. I just got it under control before you guys woke up."
"Jace, parabatai, please, explain", requested Alec, throat dry.
The gold had faded out of those beautiful eyes, leaving them blue-and-hazel again as Jace looked at his parabatai, a certain vulnerability shining in those eyes. "...I'm happy. Here. With you. In... those moments of waking up, feeling... safe and warm and... like I belong. Before I wake up fully and remember that I don't. This whole... me sleeping in your bed is getting out of hand."
Growling and gritting his teeth hard, Jace made to get out of the bed. But before he even could, Alec's hand tightened around his wrist and pulled him down. For the first time, Alec didn't think about being rejected or doing something wrong. He just thought about how Jace had just admitted that he was so happy here, with them, that he was literally glowing. Without wasting another thought on it, Alec pressed his lips against Jace's in a gentle kiss. Even with his eyes closed, Alec knew that Jace was glowing again, the golden light illuminating through his closed eyelids. Gently, Alec slipped his arms around Jace's waist and pulled him closer, until the blonde was sitting on Magnus' lap. When they parted, only bringing an inch between their lips, and their eyes opened, Alec got to look into molten gold once more. Jace looked dazed and surprised.
"You love Magnus", was the first thing out of Jace's mouth.
"I do. I love Magnus a lot", agreed Alec gently. "But I also still love you."
Jace frowned confused, the glowing dying down until only the parabatai-rune remained glowing. Enchanted, Alec reached down to trace the glowing rune. Their bond had flared up with the kiss, more intense than it had been since Jace's death and resurrection.
"That was very nice to look at", stated Magnus. "And the glowing made it all the more enthralling."
Jace's eyes widened comically as he turned to Magnus. "No, no, no. I swear I didn't mean to kiss your boyfriend. Well. He kissed me. Wait. Did you just...?"
Smirking, Magnus rested a hand in Jace's neck and brought him in closer, very slowly. He gave Jace all the time in the world to back out of it, but Jace just stared curiously at Magnus' lips as he was brought closer to them until they touched in a gentle, sweet kiss. Jace adjusted himself to be straddling Magnus' lap as the kiss deepened, Alec groaning hoarsely in the background.
"That is... hot", muttered Alec in awe, making Jace blush brightly. "Jace, you... belong here. With us. If this is where you wanna be, where you're... happy enough to glow, then... then please be here? With us? Magnus and I, we both want you. Want to be with you."
"You just got back together again", argued Jace with a frown. "I don't wanna cause problems."
"You might have been one of the problems that caused our breakup in the first place", stated Magnus. "Not to blame you, sweetheart. It's not your fault that you made us both fall for you. Alexander and I have been fighting for your attention, being jealous of each other and not talking about our shared feelings for you. So, you see, by agreeing to become our boyfriend, you're very much helping our relationship back on track."
Magnus smirked teasingly at Jace and Jace rolled his eyes at the warlock. Though then Jace realized, from the serious looks both Magnus and Alec gave him, they were being serious. Blinking slowly, Jace looked from one of them to the other and back again.
"So... you... actually want me in your relationship?", whispered Jace stunned.
"Ye—es", groaned Alec, pulling Jace into another possessive kiss. "Yes. Please?"
"Uhm. Yeah. Okay. Yes", nodded Jace hastily, clinging onto his parabatai. "If you really want me, if I get to wake up with you guys every morning... Yeah. I'll take what I can get."
"Wonderful", whispered Magnus pleased as he kissed Jace's cheek. "Then how about you hurry to your room and get packed so we can leave for our vacation?"
"Magnus", started Jace to protest. "I can't just leave. Alec's been prepping everything for his-"
"Actually, Maia and Bat offered to step in for you, if Clary, Izzy and Simon need any help", admitted Alec. "I might have asked Clary, Izzy and Simon to check and asked them. So... I might have, in a burst of unexpected optimism, cleared your schedule, Jace."
"Well... I... better get packed then", grunted Jace stunned before pecking both their lips.
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: ...I accidentally wrote another take on the season finale? xD Because I wanted it as a set-up for Malace too. I also really wanted to write about Jace glowing for Malec, since he seems to only be glowing when Clary is involved. And I totally headcanon that Jace would develop an obsession with Magnus' non-existent belly-button? xDDD