Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Story: My Beth
Summary: There she is my baby, my heart. No one in this world can ever love her as much as I do it just isn't possible. She's my Beth. What Quinn was thinking at the hospital during Journey and a little extra.
Here I am, Quinn Fabray, sixteen years old standing at the window of the hospital nursery staring down at MY baby. MY heart. Noah Puckerman standing right beside me thinking that he understands, that he feels the same way about her as I do, but no one will EVER love her as much as I do, it just isn't possible. My arms can still feel her in them, the way she fit perfectly there, the way holding her made me feel complete, even though it has been hours since I held her.
"She looks like you. Do you wanna keep her?" Noah(Puck just didn't seem to fit him now. Now with us, as a little family he was Noah. He was the person he really is, the person I'm in love with.) said looking from her to me his hazel eyes soft.
Of course I want to keep her ,you idiot, she's my daughter, my baby, my heart, the little girl that has been inside of me for nine months, the only person in this world that I love more than I love you! I wanted to scream at him but I couldn't do that to her I'm a mother now and that means my baby comes first. Her feelings and her life come before my desires now and she deserves a better life than Puck and I can give her.
The words that I say next are the hardest words I have ever said in my life, "No, do you?"
Quinnie, I want you to come back home, I can turn the guest room into a nursery ,you can keep your baby. my mothers offer echoed in my mind the offer that I wanted so badly to accept but I couldn't, it wouldn't be right for her.
"Did you love me?" I asked him wishing the answer to be no so that if it's possible this will hurt less. Knowing that I was giving her away from a family where her parents didn't love each other may be slightly easier, but I knew that wasn't the case, that he loved me as much as I loved him.
"Yes. Especially now." He said quietly. WHY? Why did you have to say that? You just had to make this even harder than it already is didn't you?
"Which one is yours?" Shelby Corcoran , coach of vocal adrenaline and Rachel's biological mother, asked coming up beside us.
Go away! I wanted to tell her She's mine so just leave us alone!
"What are you doing here?" was what I really said, even though I knew exactly why she was there, to try and take my baby from me-from us.
"I see her now. She looks like you. Does she have a name?" she said smiling down at the baby. At that moment she looked like the most evil person in the world, like the bad guy in he fairytale come to steal away happiness, trying to steal away my happily ever after.
"No." I said. Calling her by a name would just make me more attached to her and make me love her even more than I already do.
"Beth." Noah said at the same time. Just hearing the name made my heart flutter.
"Beth" Shelby repeated still looking at her. Hearing her say it hurt it made me want to step in front of my baby and tell her she needs to go, but I couldn't she may be the person that can give her what I can't. "I like that name."
My hand shook, my eyes watered, my heart ached as I grasped the pen to sign the adoption papers, to give my baby away. I shakily signed my whole name 'Lucy Quinn Fabray' on the sheet and handed the pen to the boy next to me and watched as he signed 'Noah Isaac Puckerman' and last as that evil woman signed 'Shelby Leigh Corcoran'.
Those three signatures, those nine little words, they changed my life forever. They took away what was rightfully mine. But the worst part was that I let it happen.
"The adoption papers are all in order, but there isn't a name on the birth certificate yet." one of the nurses told Shelby as she looked down at my baby pretending that she belonged to her long after Noah was gone and long after everyone thought I was gone. I don't care if I signed a paper or not she's still MY daughter.
"Her name's Beth." Shelby informed the nurse "Bethany Quinn."
I began to cry harder than I was as I peered around the corner honored that Shelby had given her the name we had picked and my name.
"You're all set. Here's a copy of everything." the nurse said handing Shelby a large manila folder with adoption papers and a birth certificate with my name on it. "Bye, Shelby. Bye, Beth."
"Quinn?" Shelby said as she came around the corner.
"Hi, Shelby." I said staring at the baby in her arms.
"I'm leaving, Quinn, I'm going to California to get away from Vocal Adrenaline. But here is my phone number and email address feel free to contact me whenever you like. And here you can hold her again I know it hurts to have your baby taken and not be able to hold her." she said reaching my baby toward me I happily took her still crying.
"Thank you" I managed to say between sobs. I raised her up, kissed her soft forehead, and breathed in her sweet scent. "I love you, baby girl. Your momma loves you, always know that." I said handing her back to Shelby still crying.
"Shelby. Can I ask you one favor?" I asked reaching for my purse.
"Of course, Quinn." she said smiling sympathetically.
"Can you give her this? Let her know its from her momma." I said pulling a stuffed lamb from my purse and handing it to her, "and this when she gets old enough." I said handing her a note and a golden heart locket with pictures of Noah and I in it.
" I will do that. Goodbye." she said leaning in and hugging me awkwardly.
I stood and watched as my baby disappeared in the arms of another woman, a woman she would call mom. I watched as the walked around the corner and out of my life.
People think that I'm a bad mother, that I didn't care about my baby so I just gave her away. Those people, those stupid people, are so wrong that it isn't even funny. The truth is that I loved my daughter so much that I gave her up to someone else so that she could be happier. That is the ultimate love, loving them so much that you put them before yourself.
That's how I love MY baby, MY heart, MY life, the beautiful little girl that I carried and protected for nine months, the child that I would do anything for, the reason I cry myself to sleep every night, and also the reason I live.
MY Beth.