Red was busy making breakfast in the kitchen when Ashley walked in. The little devil had expected the normal morning whippings, but instead Ashley just kissed him on the forehead and exclaimed, "GOOD MORNING, RED! DID YOU SLEEP WELL TODAY?"
Although this confused Red greatly, what disturbed him the most was...the huge, shiny grin Ashley had on her face. Ashley, who was normally the closest thing to a goth Red had ever met, was actually SMILING. 'Has...has hell finally frozen over?' Red wondered as Ashley took her seat at the table.
When Ashley had just about finished off her toast, Red found enough courage to ask, "So, Ashley...why are you so happy today? It's kind of...odd..." Ashley cocked her head to one side and exclaimed, "Odd? What do you mean by 'odd'? Aren't I always this happy?"
"Uh...no." Red replied as he started working on his own food, "You're normally very emotionless and hateful. You always boss me around and yell at me. Plus, you enjoy tormenting other people! You're basically a very bad person, Ashley!"
Instead of bursting out with fury like usually, tears just started forming in Ashley's wide innocent eyes. "YOU'RE RIGHT!" She cried finally, "I'M A HORIBLE, HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING!...But that's all in the past now, right?" She had switched from sobbing to smiling in less than a minute. At this point, Red was sure hell had definitely frozen over.
"You're really happy about something that happened yesterday, right?" Red asked as he scooped some raw egg in between two slices of bread. Ashley nodded and she started to get really giddy again. Blushing, she exclaimed, "Yesterday...I finally found someone who I really really like! Someone who even likes me back the same way, too!"
Red spit the coffee he was just swallowing all over the floor in shock. Never in all his life had he expected those words to come out of Ashley's mouth. Wiping some stray drips of coffee off his trmebling lips, Red asked, "R-R-Really? Someone...someone likes you, huh?"
Ashley nodded and replied, "Yeah! Plus...I bet you already know who it is!" Red blinked a few times as he thought over every single boy he and Ashley had ever come across. Finally, he just shrugged, saying, "Nope. I have no idea. What's the name of the poor sap-I mean, who's the lucky guy?"
The black-haired witch giggled and clapped her hands together once. "It's not a boy, silly! It's Penny Crygor! You remember Penny, right? She's so cute!" she said in an even happier tone. Red's eyes widened, and a thousand perverted thoughts flashed through his mind all at once. 'I...I feel like I might have a seizure...'
Like most girls in Diamond City, Red knew what Penny looked like: she was a young girl with glasses and an endless love for all things concerning science and technology. Basically, she was kind of a nerd. "So...so...so you two are going out now or something? You're lovers...?" Red asked, still shaking from the huge amount of confusing information he had just recieved.
Ashley quickly finished off her breakfast and got up from the table. "I wish I could stay and talk about it," she explained while grabbing her coat, "But I promised Penny I would her at the cafe this morning. See you later tonight, Red!" And with that, she dashed out the door, humming a little song to herself along the way.
Sighing, Red took another big sip of coffee and thought, 'Lesbians...everywhere you turn, you find a lesbian! Sheesh...'