How the Squints watched the Grinch
AN: I know y'all are waiting on more of the Toddler in the Tire, but inspiration for that is sort of null. I promise I'm working on it. My plot bunny got lost in piles of wrapping paper. But I watched the cartoon version of the Grinch and I'm all hyped up on Sun Drop! So anyway…here it goes.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Squints, the Grinch, or Boris Karloff. Not to say they wouldn't be cool if I did…
One evening close to Christmas a group of friends was gathered who had nothing to do. All of the murder cases that usually occupied their time had been solved, and apparently crime had taken a Christmas vacation. Not that they weren't thankful, they were just…well…bored.
They were all gathered at Dr. Brennan's apartment for what Booth had dubbed "the annual squint squad holiday extravaganza." All of the food had been consumed, all of the gifts had been opened (ripped into in Booth and Hodgins cases), all of Hodgins's customary Christmas conspiracy theories had been debunked, and they were running out of things to do faster than they were running out of Angela's famous "spiced nog." No one wanted the eggnog to go to waste; that would be a party foul. So much to Dr. Brennan's dismay, they turned on the television that Booth had brought over just in case.
"Booth, if you stopped flipping through channels so fast you might be able to see something," Brennan fussed. She was squished on the couch between Sweets and Booth, with Cam on Sweet's other side.
"I'm trying to find a good Christmas show Bones," Booth argued. "Now stop complaining."
"Ooh, wait! Go back two, Booth!" Angela shouted from her sitting place on the floor. Booth did what she said. "Look! It's How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"
"How the who stole Christmas?" Brennan asked, looking at them like they were all nuts.
"No Bones, the Whos don't steal anything, they're the good guys," Booth tried to explain.
Hodgins just laughed. "I don't think she knows what Whos are, dude."
"That's preposterous, no one can steal Christmas, it's an idea. Not a concrete object. And who is not an actual person, it is a noun," said Brennan, wondering what had happened to her normally logical squints.
Sweets spoke up, "In all reality, she's right. However, Dr. Seuss was an extraordinarily complex children's writer. It takes study to realize that the Grinch symbolizes the misers that hate Christmas and only want to exploit it for their own good and that the Whos symbolize all the good people that enjoy the holidays because they want to see joy in the lives of their loved ones. At least the moral of the story is clear."
"Let me see if I can explain it to her," said Cam. "Okay, Dr. Brennan. The Whos are a fictional breed of people, somewhat like midgets I suppose, and the Grinch is a fictional creature that is a notorious grouch who hates happiness. Do you get me?"
"I suppose," replied Brennan, settling back into Booth's shoulder. He put his arm around the back of the couch so she could sort of cuddle into him.
Angela's eyes started shining at the two of them and Hodgins said "Hey, it's coming on!"
Everyone turned their attention to the TV just in time to hear Boris Karloff's opening words. "Every who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not. The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small."
By then Brennan just couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "This is the most ridiculous cartoon I have ever set eyes on. I understand there is no such thing as a Grinch, but still, the science is just not there. If his heart was two sizes to small he most likely would have died soon after birth."
"The point isn't to be scientific Bones," Booth whispered in her ear. This just happened to be one of his favorite movies. "Brain in neutral, heart in overdrive, okay?"
Brennan agreed just to get him to stop whispering in her ear. Despite the presence of their friends, she was starting to get little butterflies. Maybe next year I'll remember to make the eggnog…without so much "spice."
Sweets and Angela seemed interested in their conversation, but all Hodgins could come up with was "If you think that's bad, just wait until he gets the trees and presents out of the houses."
Brennan did well throughout the rest of the showing, limiting herself to only an "Oh, poor puppy," whenever Max was abused. When it came to the music she almost seemed to enjoy it. She even grinned a little when Angela, Booth and Sweets chimed in on a rousing chorus of "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch."
Meanwhile, Booth was enjoying himself very much. He had a few good friends, a very pretty and intelligent woman at his side, and some absolutely fantastic "spiced" eggnog. Yup, it doesn't get much better than this. Well, maybe I need some more eggnog.
All too soon the show was over. "That's a classic every year," said Cam, rising up off the couch and going for some more eggnog.
"And I'm very proud of you for keeping your mouth shut, Sweetie," Angela praised Brennan.
"Well I suppose, all the scientific and anthropologic inaccuracies aside, it is a good children's movie. And Sweets is right for once, it does have a good moral."
"IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!" Sweets shouted all of a sudden, scaring the daylights out of Hodgins who was dipping himself more eggnog.
"What the hell is wrong with you dude!"
"Dr. Brennan actually said I was right about something! I think that is a first!" Sweets answered, doing a little happy dance. Brennan let out a snort and Booth rolled off the couch and started turning blue. He was laughing too hard to breath.
"I think you've had a little too much eggnog, Seeley," Cam said, even though she too had let out a snort.
"No way! We can't let this stuff go to waste! And I hereby decree that from now on, Angela makes the eggnog."
"Hear hear!" Hodgins cheered, raising his glass in a toast.
"We only have one problem now," interjected Dr. Brennan. "We still have tons of eggnog, and we don't have anything else to do."
"I have an idea," Hodgins said from the eggnog bowl. Everyone turned to look at him. "How about a nice Christmassy game of twister?"
The End
AN: This is what happens at Christmas time for me. I go nuts. Though I am proud to say that this year was a milestone for me; this was my 20th year straight watching the Grinch and it was my four month old daughter's first. I think I'll make it a family tradition.
How about another tradition? It's called reviewing! My 20th birthday is in two days people! You can give gifts by pressing the shiny button! Even if it is just to tell me to shut up. Pretty please?