So this one came to me when I was watching the video for a cover version of Wham's song 'I'm Your Man' by the English actor Shane Richie. I prefer Shane's version, so you should by all means check it out!!
I do not own Wham, the song I'm your Man, SVU, the characters or ANYTHING except the idea. I also am quite penniless, so there is really no point in suing me!!
It was the annual night out for the Special Victims squad. It was always a very well attended occasion, because the detectives and everyone involved with SVU knew how hard it was and could never find the time to go out on their on, not normally. It was always an occasion when there were lots of drunk detectives, lots of crude jokes and lots of awful karaoke performances, but until now Detective Olivia Benson had never been involved in the latter. Normally she kept to herself or chatted to Melinda and Casey near the back of the club.
Not today. Tonight it was different. She was up near the front, having as good a time as she could remember, because of course the circumstances were different this year round. She was standing, glass of wine in hand, laughing her head off at all the awful detectives she barely spoke to doing their usual karaoke routines, when suddenly her heart skipped a beat. Climbing up onto the stage was the one, the only, Detective Elliot Stabler. The reason why Olivia's circumstances had changed so much in one year.
Suddenly the opening bars of Wham's 'I'm Your Man' began to play and she gasped. Surely not. No way was Elliot Stabler, brooding, intense and private, going to sing in-front of his fellow detectives?! How many beers had he actually had? Normally Elliot was good with his drink, but god, she thought. He must have had litres of the stuff to make him get up on the stage at all, never mind to actually sing.
Despite his drunken state, he surprised Olivia with his voice. It was good - would've been even better if he wasn't slurring his words a little.
"Call me good, call me bad, call me anything you want to baby. But I know, uhu," he nodded at this point. "That you're sad, and I know I'll make you happy with the one thing that you never had - Baby, I'm your maaannn!!" he was pointing at Olivia now, and she just hoped to god that all these detectives and especially Captain Cragen, who also seemed rather tipsy after his rendition of 'Suspicious Minds' by 'The King', Elvis Presley, wouldn't remember this.
Going around the club there were wolf whistles now, and cheers of encouragement, which really weren't going to matter. When Elliot Stabler got something into his head, especially while absolutely guttered, he would carry it out, no matter what the costs.
"Baby, I'm your man. You bet! If you're gonna do it, do it right - right? Do it with me," he bobbled his head from side to side as he did a strange little drunken dance, wiggling his hips, obviously under the impression that he appeared sexy and even just a littl bit cool. Olivia couldn't help but snigger at him. She didn't want to laugh at the poor guy, she had to give him some credit - he was doing well for someone who was obviously plastered, but she just couldn't help it. "So good...You're divine. Wanna take you, wanna make you but they tell me it's a crime! Oh everybody knows where the good people go, but where we're going baby ain't no such word as no!"
As he sang the chorus, she couldn't help descending into complete fits of laughter. The sight of Detective Stabler up there on the stage busting moves and singing his heart out was hilarious. He saw the laughter and took it as a sign that she was loving his performance, because he started going for it all out.
"First class information. I'll be your sexual inspiration and with some stimulation We can do it right... So why waste time with the other guys when you can have mine? I ain't askin' for no sacrifice. Baby your friends do not need to know! I've got a real nice place to go. Listen, I don't need you to care and I don't need you to understand. All I want is for you to be there.And when I'm turned on if you want me- I'm your maaaaaan! If you're gonna do it, do it right - right? Do it with me. Now listen. If you're gonna do it -you know what I say? If you're gonna do it don't throw it away. Don't throw it baby, because..." he took a deep breath, although it was Olivia who needed to breath. She was doubled over, in absolute fits thanks to this performance. She'd not laughed as much in years, and she was absolute loving it.
"I'll be your boy, I'll be your man, I'll be the one who understands. I'll be your first, I'll be your last I'll be the only one you ask. I'll be your friend, I'll be your toy, I'll be the one who brings you joy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your pearl, I'll take you halfway 'round the world! I'll make you rich - I'll make you poor, just don't use the door," he grinned as the music faded away.
Olivia tried to get herself together ; she knew he'd be heading over, but she just couldn't. She watched as Elliot went to jump off stage but landed in a heap on the floor, and there she went, off in a fit of laughter again. She should get Elliot drunk more often. It was so funny. He was great when he was drunk and yes, he certainly was her man.
So there we go. Hopefully this was up to your high standards. I certainly enjoyed writing it, so review to tell me if it was enjoyable for you guys too!!