This is just something I came up with the other day. It's nothing much but I hope you enjoy it.
Sakura's POV
I walked into the darkened house. It felt empty, but then it always did. It's been five years since my father's death and I still haven't really gotten passed it. He had left the house to my brother Touya and his wife… since they were on vacation I found myself house sitting for them. I had agreed almost instantly, my own life being somewhat dull and lonely most of the time while my husband traveled the world for business. At just 28 years old, he is the youngest CEO in the company. We'd been friends since middle school, not really dating until the last few years of college… he'd gone back to Hong Kong while I went off to Tokyo. We'd met up over a holiday break and realized that there was something more than friendship between us. At least that's what I thought anyways. Now he's gone most of the year and I sometimes wonder why we ever got married. I walked into the kitchen, not really sure of what I was going to do. I picked up the phone and dialed a number that I had had memorized since I was a child.
"Hey, Tomoyo. It's me, Sakura."
"Hey, Sakura! What are you up to these days?" It was good to hear her voice again. She'd moved back to Tomoeda with her husband Eriol and their young son just last year.
"I'm at Touya's. I'm house sitting. I need to talk to someone, is there any chance you can come over? You can bring Taiki if you have to."
"Let me ask Eriol, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Hold on." I waited for her to return to the phone, I envied her… even though Eriol was also a CEO in the same company as Syaoran he was home more times than Syaoran was away. "Yeah, I'll be right over and it'll be just us women."
"I'll see you soon, and thanks, Tomoyo." I hung up the phone and put on some water for tea. I was pretty sure that Syaoran wouldn't call this evening, though I'm not really sure where he is exactly. I had left a note at the house, with his secretary, and a message on his phones so he'd at least know where I was. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.
"Thank you for coming, Tomoyo." I invited her in and we made our way to the kitchen.
"What's wrong, Sakura?" Tomoyo knew that something was up without me even hinting to it. We'd sat at the bar with a mug of tea for each of us.
"I feel so alone. Syaoran's never home. I feel like maybe we should never have gotten married. I see him less now than I did when we were still in college. I just don't know what to do anymore, Tomoyo." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I'd been concealing them for too long. To everyone in Hong Kong, I was the happiest woman in the world for being married to Syaoran Li. But deep down, I was sad and lonely.
"Have you tried talking to him about this?"
"When? Like I said, I hardly ever see him. When he calls it's just to let me know he got to where ever safely and to wish me a good-night. I can't exactly say 'I miss you, come home.' You know?" I stared at the tea in the mug. There was something else I needed to tell her but I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I knew, that without a doubt, what I needed to say should be heard by Syaoran first. But that being the case, I never could bring myself to say it over the phone or in an email. I never really knew where he was from day to day, he traveled so much. "There's something I have to tell him. Something that's too important to say over the phone or in an email… but, Tomoyo, how? I'm afraid he's going to be mad."
"You're pregnant aren't you?" I knew she'd figure it out without me telling her.
"Yes. Every time we talked about having a kids and starting a family he's always said that he wanted to wait till things settled down at the business. I'm eight weeks pregnant, it happened the last time he was home. I only found out last week at my checkup. I had been suspicious, having strange cravings and feeling sick in the morning so when I went into the doctor's I asked if they could run a pregnancy test. They confirmed everything. I haven't spoken to Syaoran since last Wednesday. Tomoyo, what am I going to do?" I busted out in tears. I could no longer hold the torrent of emotions that had been running through me since getting the news from the doctor. Suddenly my cell phone rang. I couldn't control my sobs enough to pick it up so Tomoyo answered.
"Sakura Li's phone, this is Tomoyo how may I help you?"
"Tomoyo, it's me, Syaoran. Can I speak to Sakura, please?"
"Hold on one second, Syaoran." She placed her hand over the phone. "Sakura, it's your husband. Do you think you can control yourself enough to talk to him?"
"Tomoyo… I think I'm going to be sick." I rushed to the bathroom, barely making in time before heaving whatever I had had for breakfast into the toilet.
"Did she just say she was going to be sick? What's going on? Is she feeling alright? Tomoyo, answer me."
"Calm down, Syaoran, she's fine. It might have been something she ate. Hold on, let me check to see if she's alright."
"I can't talk to him right now. Just please tell him I'll call him back later. I think I need to lie down and rest. I might need to call the doctor… I really don't feel well at all." She just nodded and held to phone to her hear again.
"Syaoran, can she call you back later? She needs to get some rest."
"What's wrong? Did I hear something about calling a doctor?"
"Syaoran, she'll have to call you back. Please…"
"Ahhhhhhh! Tomoyo! I need you! NOW! Ahhhhhhh!" A sharp pain shot through my abdomen. I could hardly breathe let alone talk.
"Tomoyo? What's going on! I demand answers!"
"Syaoran, if you want to know what's going on with your wife, I suggest you come home to her now. I've got to go…"
"CALL THE HOSPITAL, TOMOYO! AHHHHHHHH! I think I may be having a miscarriage. Ahhhhhhhhhh!" That's the last I remember before darkness closed in.
Later at the hospital
"Sakura, how are you feeling?" Tomoyo was there waiting for me when I came to.
"What happened? How's the baby?" That was my only concern right now. I needed to know.
"The doctors were a little concerned there for a little bit, but everything looks fine now. The baby's heartbeat sped up a lot but the doctors were able to get it under control. They want to keep you overnight for observation." Tomoyo looked at me. "I called Eriol and let him know. I think you need to call Syaoran as soon as you can. He sounded really worried on the phone."
"Syaoran worried? Why should he be worried?"
"Because, believe it or not, he loves you." Tomoyo looked at me. I knew she was right. Regardless of how long he was gone, I knew Syaoran loved me. I knew it by the way he'd call every day while he was away and the way he'd look at me with those amber eyes when he was home. We'd spend every waking minute together when he was home. The bed was never cold with him there, the house was never empty. And even when he was gone, the house never seemed quite empty. He'd leave so many notes all over the house that I'd still be finding them up until the day he'd return home. I knew, deep down, that if I asked him to stay at home more, he would. I also knew that he'd miss traveling for the company so I could never bring myself to say the words I always wanted to at the end of every phone call and email. I could never bring myself to say 'I miss you, come home.'
"I know you're right, Tomoyo. I know that regardless of how it feels like he doesn't love me… he does. If I asked him to stop traveling so much… he'd stop, but I can't seem to deny him those opportunities. I'll call him now, but I can't ask him to come home." Tomoyo handed me the hospital phone, since cell phones aren't allowed, and I dialed Syaoran's number. My heartbeat quickened as I waited for him to pick up. He never did, instead it went straight to voice mail. "Syaoran, it's me Sakura. I'm sorry I couldn't take your call earlier, but I just wasn't feeling well. If you could give me a call back at this number as soon as possible, please. I love you." I hung up the phone and leaned back against the pillow.
"He'll call. I know he will." Tomoyo reassured me. I knew he'd call back when he had the chance. He was probably in a meeting or something like that.
A hotel in London, England (Syaoran's POV)
I had been thinking about Sakura all through the meeting. Something wasn't right. I'd gotten the message that she was house sitting for Touya back in Tomoeda, so I knew to call her cell instead of the house phone. When Tomoyo answered I got a little worried. And then when I heard Sakura say that she was going to be sick a knot formed in my stomach. And then I heard her scream… I hadn't heard her scream like that since early in our relationship. I hadn't been able to get away from college for the holiday so she came to see me. She was walking over to my place one evening when someone attacked her. I heard the scream and ran as fast as I could making it just in time. The attacker had had her pinned to the ground ready to do something that even to this day makes my blood boil when I think about it, but I was able to pull him off of her as a passerby called the police and asked what else he could do.
"Hold him till the police get here. I'll check on her." I had told the guy. He agreed and held the guy to the wall till the police showed up. Meanwhile, I checked to make sure Sakura was alright. She was shaking like a leaf but other than that and a few scrapes and bruises, she was fine.
It had taken her a little while to get back to her old self. Even now, from time to time, she'll have a nightmare about that night. I don't know if she ever has them when I'm gone or not, but I do know when she has them when I am home. I was hardly aware of anything that was happening in the meeting since my mind was focused on my wife in Tomoeda. I wanted desperately to find out what was going on with her. I couldn't get her screams out of my head. I watched as the minutes ticked by and was thankful when it was time for a break. I pulled out my phone with the intent on calling Sakura back to find out what was happening when I noticed that I had a voicemail from a number I didn't recognize.
"Syaoran, it's me Sakura. I'm sorry I couldn't take your call earlier, but I just wasn't feeling well. If you could give me a call back at this number as soon as possible, please. I love you." Her voice sounded weak and tired. I immediately called the number back and when I found out that it was the hospital I turned pale. I stepped out of the room as the receptionist patched me to her room.
"Hello?"
"Tomoyo?" I knew it wasn't Sakura, I'd know her voice anywhere.
"Yeah, Syaoran, she's sleeping right now. Hold on, I'll see if I can wake her. I know she wants to talk to you." I waited as I heard Tomoyo try to wake Sakura. I knew how hard that could be, but I was hoping she was successful. I needed so much to hear her voice and for her to tell me that everything was okay.
"Syao?" I sighed with relief. She was the only one who called me that.
"Hey, Saku. How are you feeling?"
"A little better. The doctors want to keep me overnight to make sure that everything's okay. Right now things look fine. Syao, there's something I have to tell you. I really didn't want to do it over the phone, but now I think it's the only way. Syao, love, I'm pregnant." I froze. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "Syaoran, did you hear me?" I couldn't find the words. "Syao? I'm sorry… I know you wanted to wait to start a family. I'm so sorry." She was crying and apologizing for being pregnant but I still couldn't find the words I wanted to say. "I'll let you get back to your meeting or whatever. I love you, bye." Click.
I stood frozen in place. I still couldn't wrap my mind around Sakura being pregnant. I hadn't asked her when she found out, I hadn't asked her how long she'd known… I hadn't asked her anything. I had let her apologize and cry. I had let her think that I was upset and angry with her. The truth was, I was so happy that I couldn't find the right words to say to her. I needed to go home. I had to get to Sakura, but I also knew that this deal was too important to just let it slip away. I dialed the main office's number. I had to talk to my mother. "Hello, this is Mr. Li, I need to speak to my mother right away." I waited as her secretary transferred the call to her office.
"Syaoran, what it is?" I knew she'd assume that something was wrong; I hardly ever called her at work.
"I need to get home to Sakura. It's an emergency. I know this deal is important but something's happened. I need to get home as soon as I can." I was frantic. I was happy the Sakura was pregnant, but I was also worried. Her being in the hospital had to have something to do with the pregnancy… Sakura was generally a very healthy person.
"Calm down, what's happened?" My mother loved Sakura very much, had since we were in middle school.
"She's in the hospital. I must go to her. Can't you find someone else to close this deal?"
"Syaoran, my son, I'm sure she's fine and will be fine without you until you close this deal. You're the only one who can. This is your baby, Syaoran; this was your idea. See it through and then you can come home to your wife." She loved Sakura, and if I had told her the whole truth she might have let me go home. I knew that if I let her down with this deal… I was truly torn between two of the most important people in my life. My mother had raised my three sisters and me since we were little. I think I had loved Sakura from the first time I saw her back when my family first moved to Tomoeda.
"Mother, there's more to it than her just being in the hospital. I can't say anything right now, not till I see her." I was hoping that she'd let me off the hook but I knew better.
"Close the deal as fast as you can."
"I'm giving it two days. I'm going home in two days whether the deal is closed or not."
"You'll stay for as long as it takes. I'm sure it's nothing too serious and she'll be out tomorrow."
"I do not want to defy you mother, but I will if I have to. I've got to get back to the meeting." I hung up the phone before she had a chance to say anything else. I'd made a mental note to call Sakura a little later this evening and try to explain. The rest of the meeting went smoothly, most of the board agreeing with the plans so far. I just hoped things would go by faster now that most of the proposals were explained.
I had gotten back to the hotel room before I tried calling Sakura again.
"Hello?"
"I'm sorry, Saku."
"Syao?"
"Yes, love. I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. I couldn't quite grasp what you were saying until you hung up. Don't be sorry. I love you. Nothing could make me happier than you having my baby. I know I'd said that I wanted to wait till things settled down at work. That was back when we first got married. I thought we had all the time in the world, and now it's been three years. How far along are you?"
"About eight weeks. I went for my checkup last week and had the nurse run a test. I had had my suspicions and she only confirmed them."
"What happened today?"
"Tomoyo said that the baby's heartbeat had sped up so much that it was causing miscarriage-like symptoms. They doctors were a little worried there at first but everything seems fine now."
"I'm trying to close a deal as fast as I can so I can get back to you."
"Don't rush, Syao. I'll be alright, I'm going to stay at Touya's until the doctors clear me for travel. Tomoyo and Eriol will check in on me. I'm fine, honest. You just do what you do best and close the deal. It was your idea, you need to see it through properly. I need to rest now. I love you."
"You rest and I'll see you as soon as I can. I love you so much, Cherry Blossom. I miss you." Click. I laid my head on the pillow and wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her. I also tried to figure out how best to quickly get this deal closed so I could get home to my family.
The hospital (Sakura's POV)
"You rest and I'll see you as soon as I can. I love you so much, Cherry Blossom. I miss you." I had hung up the phone before my reserve broke and I begged him to come home now. I knew he would, but I still couldn't let his mother down… and I knew he didn't want to either. That deal was the company's biggest yet and Syaoran had had the front from the beginning. I just couldn't ask him to give it up now. I missed so much it hurt to think about it. I closed my eyes and it was probably only because of the medication that I was able to get any sleep at all.
I stayed at Touya's for two weeks before the doctors cleared me for travel. I waited an additional week, until Touya and his wife returned from vacation, before heading to the airport to return to Hong Kong. It wasn't until I returned home to Hong Kong that I realized just how much I missed Syaoran. We had talked every day since the hospital and every time he'd said the same thing: that he'd be home soon. It had been three weeks and the deal still wasn't closed. I began to wonder if he really did want to come home or if he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear. The morning after my return I stood in front of the full-length mirror in the closet. The baby bump was slowly starting to form. If Syaoran didn't get here soon, I'd be forced to tell his mother that I was pregnant without him. Pretty soon it would be hard to hide. I didn't feel much like doing much; I began to feel myself slipping into a depression. Fear of having lost the love of my life was crushing in around me making it hard to breathe. Sure, I put on a good act when we talked but afterwards, I sink even further into the depth of the fear. If it wasn't for the life growing inside me I'm not sure what I would have done. Another week passed without Syaoran arriving home. I was going on eleven weeks, and I had yet to tell anyone else. Touya, Eriol, Tomoyo, and Syaoran were the only ones who knew I was pregnant. It was getting to the point where I was wondering if Syaoran would even be there for the birth let alone the pregnancy. The staff of the mansion, of course, knew but no one said anything to anybody. Wei was always nice enough to fetch whatever strange cravings I was having. I was entering into the twelfth week when I finally snapped. I broke down and cried all day long, not once moving from the bed except to use the bathroom. When Syaoran called I didn't answer. The same thing happened the next day and then also again on the next two days. Unknown to me Wei had called Syaoran's oldest sister to come check on me. When I didn't let her see me they tried the next sister and then the next, finally they decided to call in their mother. She couldn't even manage to convince me to let her in the room. I hadn't moved from the bed except to eat and use the bathroom. I hadn't changed clothes in days nor had I bathed. I felt too alone to do anything but cry. And by the end of the week I couldn't even do that.
At a hotel in London (Syaoran's POV)
It had been almost a month since Sakura was in the hospital. We had talked every night since then except for the last week. I began to get really worried so I called my mother to see what was going on.
"She's not letting anyone into the room. She lets Wei in only to bring her food. He says she hasn't moved from the bed in days. I'm guessing the only time she does is when she has to. Son, what's going on?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing, mother." I was really worried about her now. I needed to get this deal closed so I could get back to Sakura.
"Wei's tried to get her to call a doctor. If she doesn't pull out of this depression soon, there's no telling what'll happen."
"I don't care that she doesn't want the doctor, call him anyways. She can't do this to herself in her state. Mother, I must get home. The last time I talked to her was last week… she still didn't want me to come home. I'm losing her, aren't I?" I broke down and began to cry. The men in the room just looked at me. I could care less about them right now. I was losing my wife and child all at the same time and I had no one to blame but myself.
"I'll have Wei call the doctor. What state is she in, son?"
"I wanted to be able to talk to Sakura before we said anything to you but you must know… She's pregnant. She's about twelve weeks now, I think. I knew I should have gone home when she was in the hospital a month ago." She paused and I thought I faintly heard a door open.
"Sakura? It's Syaoran. Do you want to talk to him?" I held my breathe hoping she'd say yes.
"No. What's the point? He'll only say the same things he has before. 'I'll be home as soon as this deal is closed.' 'I should be home within the week.' 'I love you and I'll see you very soon. I promise.' Doesn't he know that you're not supposed to make promises you can't keep. Let's face it, he's not coming home. He doesn't love me anymore. There's no point in living." I felt the color leave my face. That was it: deal or no deal I was going home to my wife before she did something stupid.
"Mother, I'm coming home. I catching the first flight back to Hong Kong." I hung up before she could protest. "Gentlemen, I must leave. There's been an emergency back in Hong Kong. Please, take this time to consider the plans. If you have any questions you can contact my colleague, Eriol, his number is in the packet and he will deliver and messages to me. I'm sorry and I hope that my leaving does not sway you away from our company." I glanced at the men around me. Most of them were a good number of years older than I and I could see understanding in their eyes.
"Don't worry about things here, Mr. Li. We'll discuss things more in-depth and refer any questions to Eriol. Go home to your wife. She needs you more than we do." The chairman of the board stated before handing me my brief case and practically shoving me out the door. I got to the airport as fast as I could and booked the first available flight back to Hong Kong. The plane ride seemed to take forever but we finally managed to land in Hong Kong a little ahead of schedule. I hailed a cab and took off for home.
In their bedroom (Sakura's POV)
I lay on the bed thinking about everything I had said to my mother-in-law. The last part, I knew, had shocked her. It even shocked me. I didn't realize that I had gotten so deep in the depression and darkness. Much to my disapproval the doctor had insisted on checking the health of both me and the baby. Though everything checked out alright he was still concerned that if things didn't change soon I may lose the baby and maybe even my life. What life? Without Syaoran… I thought as the doctor made his way out of the room. I rested my head on the pillow and thought I heard the front door slam shut before I drifted off into yet another deep, restless, slumber. It was dark when I awoke and there was someone next to me in the bed. At first I thought I was dreaming but then I could hear his heavy breathing and feel his arm laying gently across my belly. I turned my head to look at him and my breath caught. It was him. He had come home. I didn't want to move for fear of waking him but I had to use the bathroom. I slowly lifted his arm, trying so hard not to wake him and it worked… or so I thought. I had decided that I needed to take a bath. I hadn't bathed all week… I haven't done much of anything all week. I was relaxing in the tub when I heard a faint knock on the bathroom door.
"Saku? It's me."
"Come in, Syao." I wasn't sure I was ready to talk to him just yet but I knew I needed to see him; to know that he really was here. He walked over to the tub and sat on the edge down towards my feet. We sat there, just looking at each other for what seemed like hours.
"I'm sorry, Sakura. I should have come home a lot sooner. It shouldn't have taken me this long to see how much my being gone was affecting you." I was so wrapped up in his gaze that I almost forgot where I was. "Can you ever forgive me for being gone so much?"
"Syaoran, are you really home? I mean truly home? This just isn't some kind of 'I need to check on my wife but I'll be back in a few days' is it?" I couldn't help it. I needed to know how long he'd be home this time.
"No, Saku. I'm home; really and truly home. For as long as you want me to be. If the board has any questions, they're to call Eriol. You're my only focus now, you should have always been my only focus. If I lost you I don't know what I'd do…" He looked away but he couldn't hide the fact that tears had sprung to his eyes.
"Hand me that towel, please." I wrapped the towel around me as I got out of the tub. I then grabbed a robe from the linen closet and led him out to the bed. I sat him on the bed and knelt in front of him. Neither one of us really knew what to say. We stayed like that for a few minutes until Wei knocked on the door.
"There's a phone call for Mr. Li. He says it's about the London deal and it's very important."
Syaoran looked at me and I could see the pleading in his eyes. He wanted to take it but… he also wanted to stay with me. I couldn't hold him. "Go. I'll still be here when you're done." I kissed him on the forehead before heading to the closet to get dressed. As I sat on the bed I couldn't help but think about everything and before I knew what was happening I was in tears again. I felt like I was losing him. I couldn't take it any longer. When he came back we had to talk.
"So what do you want to do today?" He asked as he reentered the room; seeming completely unaware of my current state. He noticed only when I accidently let out a broken sob. He was kneeling in front of me before I could focus on he was doing. "Love, what's wrong?"
"I'm losing you aren't I? I'm losing you because I can't bring myself to keep you home. I can't bring myself to tell you how much I miss you when you're gone and how much I want you to come home. Every time we talk on the phone I want to beg you to come home but I can't. I can't because I know how much the business means to you and how much you don't want to disappoint you mother." I had broken into another torrent of emotions by the time I finished saying all that.
"Sakura, please don't cry. You shouldn't have to tell me that. I should be at home more because of how much I miss you when I'm gone. I've missed so much in the past three years… it's like we're not even married. I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to realize that you're the best deal I've ever made. You're the one thing in my life that means the world to me. I could care less about the business. I know if I talk to my mother, she'll understand that I don't want to travel as much. I can do just as much work in the office or from home as I can out on the road. I want to be with you now. We've got so much to make up for. I love you, Sakura, you are my world. I should have never let you think that you meant less to me than the business. You are so selfless, I took it for granted. I might have lost both you and the baby… I should have been home the day after you called me from the hospital. I should have been at your side."
"Syao… let's forget about the 'should haves' and focus on the now. Do you really think you could work from home… or the office at least? I'd understand if you'd have to travel every now and then but I know now that you'd come home to me. We do have so much to make up for… talk to your mother and see if we can't work something out." He kissed me gently on the lips before smiling.
"If I ever go on a long trip again and you want me to come home all you have to do is say the words…"
"I miss you, come home."