Disclaimer- I really own nothing so anything you can recognise I mustn't own, so please just let me have my fun with it. I promise you can have it all back when I'm done.
This song is based off (half the lyrics are exactly the same...) Mrs. Santa Clause sung by Nat King Cole. I have no idea where exactly this idea came from, but it really stuck with me. I may add to the Potterfied Christmas Carols, but for now this is what I've come up with…
/ Mrs. Deputy Headmistress /
The radio crackled to life as the staff gathered around it to listen to the carols being sung at the 'Wizards by candlelight', in the December of 1982. All of the Professors who had remained for the Christmas break were gathered and joining in with their favourite carols.
Suddenly the voice of one the main singers started to explain before his next carol,
'You know right now, I'd like to pass on a thought to all the boys and girls; especially the ones at Hogwarts. You know the ones that are waiting for with baited breath for that tomorrow's dawn. Of course you all know how hard the Headmaster works to organise all the feasts and events that make Hogwarts.
And when you think of the Headmaster you naturally think of all his helpers, and believe me, that's plenty of them. They work hard all year long to make Hogwarts the happiest and safest place all year round.
But there's one helper who seem to have gotten lost in the shuffle; now, who do you suppose does all the helping of the Professors, and ordering new things, the patrolling of the school and keeps things humming in general?
Yup kids, there really is a Mrs. Deputy Headmistress. Now let's not forget her.
Who gives the teachers all their pay?
Who gets the boats and send for the sleigh?
Who's helping the Headmaster every day?
Mrs. Deputy Headmistress
Who keeps his bright suits looking nice?
Who does he turn to for advice?
Who gives the exams all their spice?
Mrs. Deputy Headmistress
She pitter-patters all around Hogwarts,
The whole year long
Amidst the happy clatter of Hogwarts,
She keeps the many many house-elves jovial
Who sends all the notes to girls and boys?
Turns in the orders for their brooms?
Who fills the fills the pitch with Quidditch joy?
Mrs. Deputy Headmistress
She pitter-patters all around Hogwarts,
The whole year long
Amidst the happy clatter of Hogwarts,
She keeps the many many house- elves jovial
Who sends all the notes to girls and boys?
Turns in the orders for their brooms?
Fills the fills the pitch with Quidditch joy?
Mrs. Deputy Headmistress
Mrs. Deputy Headmistress
Thank-you boys and girls, and remember; let's always spare a happy thought for Mrs. Deputy Headmistress.'
All the staff looked at Minerva to try and gauge her reaction. She just smiled and shrugged gesturing with her more empty than full drink, "It's Christmas; get into the spirits!"
Laughter filled the room as they toasted her; Mrs. Deputy Headmistress.