Well you only need
the light when it's
burning low
Only miss the sun
when it starts
to snow
She was sitting on a wooden bench alone. Snow started to drift down piling up heaps of white on the gravel and shrouding the world that was once lively. Drawing a long breath, she stared at her wristwatch.
12/20 18:30
She raised her gloved hand and touched the part where her heart resides. It hammers slowly in her chest letting her know that she's still alive but deep inside, she already feels dead.
It looks like he's not going to come.
Only know
you've been
high when
you're feeling
low
Only hate
the road
when you're
missin' home
For a long time, she was able to outstand most of the men who tried to propose to her. One by one, she made them look like incompetent jerks who would never reach her toes. She had prided herself on being the usual perfectionist who would do anything just so everything that she gets has high quality.
So far, no one was able to meet her standards or faze her enough to forget it. She was happy and contented with that since as long as she was able to reach higher than anyone.
Yet all of that changed after she attended an annual year-end party conducted by her Father. It was when she caught herself staring at a crimson haired young man. He was talking to her mother, a confident and professional smile on his face.
It was the first time that she saw him and she wondered if he was there from the very start. His domineering presence seemed to be different from the long list of guys that she met before.
Sure, she had seen confident looking guys in the past, even common red hairs but none of them seem to match him.
He was… well perfect. Even at a first glance and right there and then her heart hammered fast against her ribcage.
"…Eh? Why?" she touched it, the vibration scoured her hand that she pulled it away quickly. The feeling brought a wave of fear that held her tightly giving her head a lot of what ifs.
"Ah there she is…"
She raised her head, clear azure eyes reflected her mother in a dash of royal purple and the crimson haired young man dressed in the suit of varied quality.
"Akashi Seijuro-sama, this is my daughter."
The crimson haired young man now named, "Akashi" smiled at her amiably. His pallid hand stretched in front of her urging her to shake it. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
She stared at him, star struck by his soft scarlet - gold gaze, which seemed to hold her azure ones in place. He was no doubt a well-groomed prince who might own a white horse or something.
"A-Ah," she cleared her throat nervously and took his hand on hers giving it a mild shake. "It's nice to meet you too, Akashi-kun."
Staring at the
bottom of
your glass
Hoping one day
you'll make a
dream last
Because she was perfect, as she think she was, it didn't took her long to be with him. She just made an impression to Akashi's father showing off her achievements and asking her father to give Akashi's a good deal.
Her family's company can merge anytime soon with Akashi's as soon as they got married. The simple thought made her giddy and light headed. She never knew how smitten she was by him. He was the very epitome of perfection and she wanted every piece of him at that.
Akashi doesn't seem to disobey his father since he came to the meeting place indicated for the official deal.
The crimson haired man smiled amiably, his hand fixed his tie making him look gorgeous. Even though he was clad in Rakuzan High's uniform, it still suit him that maybe if he wears the simplest of clothes, he'd still look good in it.
"A-Akashi-kun, thanks for coming!" she bowed low, flustered.
He batted an eyelash and nodded politely. "It's nice for your family to make such a nice deal. In the near future, I'm sure that this would flourish."
"You're r-right. It will."
He smiled amiably, confidence brimmed his features telling her that the deal would really be successful. He would surely be the one who will took the rein and make it to victory.
"I didn't expect that you would play a big part on the deal though," he said, stretching his pallid hand to her for the second time.
"Akashi-kun?"
"Show me how you can make out something perfect with the deal that we stroke upon, Ms. Future Betrothed."
She blushed while gripping his outstretched hand. "Deal, Mr. Future Betrothed. Deal."
Her lips curved to a well-portrayed smile, it looks like she finally found her match.
But dreams come slow
and they go so fast
You see her
when you close
your eyes
"Whoa! Really Sei-chan? This is your fiancée!" Mibuchi Reo exclaimed, his cheeks flushed while looking up and down at her. Obviously marveled to see a different person that can stand that close to the crimson haired Rakuzan captain.
She confidently flipped her sea blue hair and beamed. She even stood closer to Akashi who amiably smiled and stretched a straight palm in front of her.
"Yes, she is indeed my fiancée." Akashi announced naturally and as if it was decided a long time ago. It made her bubble with pride after hearing the absoluteness of his words.
"Nice to meet you, Mibuchi-kun, Kotaro-kun."
"How cute~!"
"Ne, Reo-nee, doesn't that mean that Akashi already have someone?" Hayama Kotaro pointed out. The blond even gave the black haired man a scrutinizing look expecting a different reaction. Mibuchi Reo simply brought out a handkerchief out of nowhere and cried out crocodile tears.
She laughed lighty. "They're interesting people, Akashi-kun."
"Yes."
She glanced at him about to say something once again only for her eyes to widen in surprise. Akashi wasn't looking at her but the feeling in those eyes were crystal clear.
It was filled with slight amusement and it looks like he doesn't want to deal with any sort of drama around him right now.
To be more accurate… he looked displeased.
Why?
Maybe one day
you'll understand why
Everything you
touch surely
dies
"Akashi-kun…"
"Yes?"
"The stars are pretty, right?"
"They are born to be that way after all."
She leaned on his shoulder then simply glanced at him to study his expression. He looked blank once again even though his gaze reflected the stars on the planetarium.
She lowered her gaze, disappointed. Akashi did introduce her as his fiancée to almost everyone who asked. He was thoughtful enough to pick her up after school, to ask her for late lunch dates and to let her study the same business files that he was studying. He even accompanied her to one of her sudden whims. He acts like he has a lot of time in his hands that he could spare her plenty.
Yet none of it reached her, it all looks as if it was a necessity. It's not what actually came from the deepest root of his feelings.
Was she the only one striving to get his full attention? Didn't she do enough to please him or sway him as much as he swayed her by just standing there? What is lacking? Behavior? Looks? The way she handled business?
What the heck is wrong actually?
"Akashi-kun?"
He looked at her instead of saying another quizzical yes. His eyes were demanding an immediate sentence and asking her to keep her silence. She swallowed the newly formed lump in her throat, nervous to speak but urged on still.
"Are you enjoying the night? I'm sorry if this is so sudden…"
She lowered her gaze quickly afraid to see the next expression that would appear in his eyes. He on the other hand, raised her face by holding her chin up. Hesitantly, she met his gaze only to find something indescribable in the scarlet - golden irises.
Akashi's lips curved to a smile, "I'm enjoying the night so I hope that you won't worry about anything unnecessary anymore."
Weakly, she leaned her head on the crook of his neck. "I won't worry if that's what you want, Akashi-kun."
But you only need
the light when
it's burning low
Only miss the sun
when it starts
to snow
She spun to her heels, gloved hands brushed off the snow that piled on her lap. She checked her wristwatch once again and drew off a long breath. Her breath was apparent in the humid air then disappeared as the wind took it away.
It was time to go.
She knew that he wouldn't come anymore. She had that gut feeling ever since she stationed herself on the bench and stayed there for an hour. Unfortunately the gut feeling never did leave her.
It was stuck to her like a gum that she can't get rid off unless she cut the part where it was. She was ready for the cutting now.
She surveyed the surroundings for the last time for any sign of a crimson haired sixteen year old.
Nothing.
Nobody's around at this time already.
Biting her lip, she finally turned and started walking away. Her throat hurts and her eyes threatened to spill tears.
Maybe it just needs this particular event for her to acknowledge what was slapping her from the start.
Akashi never showed his interest in her in the first place. He had always been walking on a road parallel hers that she can only helplessly watch him. Her road will never ever intersect his, it will just stay at that, unchanging.
She could yell that she was disappointed but it won't do anything to fix their current state. It only broke her illusory world—the world that she created to make her life perfect.
A world where he didn't belong. He was living in the real perfect dome which she would never reach.
Now as the curtains fall down in their small play, she started to break down.
Only know you've
been high when
you're feeling low
Only hate the road
when you're
missin' home
Akashi had straightened himself to perfection, not letting anything go in his way to victory. All this time, he made sure that he was as perfect as the image that his father wanted him to be.
So when he was asked to attend their business partner's year-end party, he made sure to make an impression to all the prominent people who gathered there.
And that's when he finally saw her, the daughter of his father's business partner. The one who carried herself with such grace and confidence now that she's making her way to them. The one that his father spoke highly of for being not just good at helping in business but also picky.
His father gave him one particular order for this sixteen-year-old female: Impress her.
"Akashi Seijuro-sama, this is my daughter."
She gave him an azure gaze with her emotions quick to show. He smiled amiably, seeing that his mission is a success without even trying anything decisive.
He stretched his hand to her, "It's a pleasure to meet you."
She was quick to hold his hand, an obvious red simmered on her cheeks. "It's nice to meet you too, Akashi-kun."
Her voice was distinct but soft and touching when it reached him. It made him gripped her hand tight while he gave out his best smile. He could play with the reaction for a while.
"Would you like to dance?"
Her lips curved to a smile, "I-I'd be glad to."
Staring at the
ceiling in
the dark
Same old
empty feeling
in your heart
"Deal."
He knew that she was the one who pulled all the strings just to get what she wanted. He played the same game on each people that he encountered. Now seeing it played on him didn't make him as amused as he already was.
If she was too willing to take it this far then so be it, it's not like his Father didn't agree to that decision.
From his observation, she was serious about him even though he can't take her seriously. Nonetheless, it's not a bad thing.
She was a bundle of perfection too.
And she might look at her best if she's with him.
It's all that he needed to consider. Besides, he would benefit from accepting this indirect proposal from her.
'Cause love
comes slow
and it goes so fast
you see her
when you fall
asleep
He introduced her as his fiancée for the umpteenth time. All throughout she seemed pleased and giddy with happiness at ever introduction. It made him wonder why she overreacts over something so small. What he had done so far is simply something as a responsibility of him being her fiancée. It was what his father was expecting out of him.
He breathed out a small sigh, "Do you want to go for a small…" he paused after seeing her expression.
She looked at him in a daze, a ghost of doubt on her face. It's like she was seeing something past him that he couldn't see.
He batted an eyelash interested on whatever it is. "What is it?"
She blinked and shook her head. "… I apologize, I don't know what's gotten into me…"
He accepted her excuse knowing that she wouldn't let him know. He turned front already, picked up his short strides, and started walking.
"Let's head to the school cafeteria."
"Y-Yes!"
He curved his lips to a small smile, amused as she struggled to keep up with him. "What would you like for lunch?"
"Ah, me? Wahh!"
He quickly caught her with his left arm before she fall face flat on the ground, his face expressed a quickly designed appropriate expression.
"Are you alright?"
She reddened once again, the color blending well with her pinkish white flesh.
"I-I am, Akashi-kun. D-Don't worry."
He can't hear her anymore, the only thing that he can see was the fresh red that slowly trickled down her knee.
"You're careless."
He leaned down to inspect the cut then sighed after seeing that it wasn't that deep. He looked back at her; she was still blushing while staring at him quizzically.
Without warning, he carried her in his arms. She gasped and quickly held him tight and as she did so, he could feel the fast beating of her heart on his skin.
"W-What are you doing, Akashi-kun!"
"I will make sure that we have your wound checked."
"I-It's not that serious!"
"I don't mind."
She didn't retort back, she just buried her face on his chest. Her blush darkened as she did so.
He only gave out a small smile.
But never to
touch and never
to keep
'Cause you loved
her too much
And you
dived too
deep
He watched her as her chest rise and fall in accordance to her breathing. They were just conversing earlier when she fall asleep in the middle. She looked at ease and secured in his arm, which she unfortunately used as a pillow earlier.
Despite his supposed to be busy schedule, he went on her whim. She invited him to a planetarium where a special showcase of the stars occurred. He didn't hate coming to these places but it doesn't mean that he was pleased to be there either.
If he could spend time leisurely as this then he should've grabbed his laptop and started working on the new business proposal that he was trying to study.
But if he did that he might leave a bad impression on her and somehow he didn't want that.
He wanted her to swoon over him so he wouldn't have to worry about any termination that might appear. Her father's company was a nice one, he could use it for additional aids to his path on becoming his father's successor.
He needed her for the time being so he just had to keep her in place.
A soft nudge snapped him out of his thoughts, he turned meeting her sleepy azure gaze.
"Akashi-kun?"
"What is it?"
She moved away from him, her warmth slipping off that he felt cold. He wondered why she somehow affected him. It just come out as a surprise.
"I think it's time to go…" she said, raising her eyes to him after giving her wristwatch a small glance.
He gave her an amiable smile and nodded. She smiled back and stood up, turning at once. He stood up too and a fall in a step behind her.
"Thanks for accompanying me today, Akashi-kun. I'm sorry for the trouble."
Earlier, he felt displeasure but now a different feeling swarmed him. "It's fine, you don't have to apologize for a good thing."
Only know you
love her when
you let her go
And you
let her go
Since it was his birthday, he had to spend it in the company's ground so he promised her that he'll meet up with her right after. But he forgot about it along the line because his mind was filled with business transactions and basketball regimes.
When he remembered, he quickly asked his chauffer to take him to the meeting place. He made it in time to see her making her exit on the small gate opposite the bench. He wanted to call her back but something prompted him to stay there, watching her disappear from him.
He didn't know how to react as he made his way to the bench that she once occupied.
Deep inside, it looked like she needed him to ran after her but he can't decide on that. His body just refused to do what he needed to at that time.
So after a few moments of silence, he settled down on the wooden bench. He began to think about their moments together. All this time, she left him both pleasant and unpleasant memories on which he reacted by displeasure, boredom or pleasure.
None of that meant that he was against staying together with her. But why? Why didn't she wait for him any longer or even e-mail him to inform him that she's waiting?
Why did she let him remember at the last minute and leave without saying anything?
What is she doing?
Didn't he leave a good impression on her already that it wouldn't break whatever connection that he built between them?
Akashi released a sigh, his breath visible in the humid air. He knew all the answers to his questions that he didn't even need to ask them.
Without doing anything, he was able to get her attention and without doing anything, he broke her to pieces. It was one thing that he wanted to do before but decided against since she is still useful to him.
It was that… maybe.
He raised his head, scarlet-gold eyes watched as the snow perfectly fall down from the sky.
"Had it always been parallel after all?"
A gale of wind that made him clutch his coat closer answered his question.
Maybe one day
you'll understand why
Everything you
touch surely
dies
He was sitting on a wooden bench alone. Snow drifted down, piling up heaps of white on the gravel and shrouding the world that was once lively. Drawing a long breath, he stared at his cellphone.
12/20, 23:49
He raised his gloved hand and touched the part where his heart resides. It hammered slowly in his chest letting him know that he's still alive but deep inside, he felt nothing at all.
A/N: Cyber gift for Akashi-sama~ Fic inspired by Passenger's "Let her go" song.