Author's Note:
This is the first of the two sequels to The Price of Retribution that I have planned. Although it does resolve at least one thread that was left hanging at the end of that fic, it can still more or less stand on its own. So if you choose not to read The Price of Retribution first, you probably won't be too confused. Nevertheless, since this fic is part of a wider series, and since, as of the time I am writing this note, it has been several months since I finished serializing its predecessor, I felt I should mention the fact. Either way, I hope you enjoy this.
Prologue
Within her office, Elsa eyed the volumes, seals, and parchments lining the shelves and tables, as well as her own desk. Weary, she leaned back in her chair and blew out a long sigh. She knew she would have to get used to it from now on; being a queen came with a great many responsibilities. She didn't have to enjoy it. But she did have to get used to it. Her first week back on the job had already demonstrated that amply.
The deportation of Hans had been the easy part. Much as she had wanted to drive an icicle through the traitorous prince's heart, she knew that such an action would not only be a gross insult to his family, on whom the task of punishing him rightfully fell, but would also be a violation of her own heart.
Don't be the monster they fear you are.
It had been a ploy to get into her good graces, she knew; Hans didn't give a farthing what anyone thought of Elsa except insofar as it affected his own goals. Nevertheless, his words had remained with her. As far as she was concerned, his motives didn't change the fact that he had been right.
Not succumbing to revenge- that was the hard part.
It wasn't as though she hadn't retaliated at all. She had readily decided to sever trade with Weselton. Duke Rudolph had made his choice, and he had to face the political consequences. True, she had added a childish insult on top of the matter. She supposed she shouldn't have. But then again, it had seemed like a funny idea at the time. And at least it had merely been a matter of words. The duke would live to see another day. Perhaps he would repent, perhaps he would not. At least she had avoided doing anything worse.
Thank you, God. Thank you, God, for my sister.
She fingered the cross she now wore about her throat as her mind passed over the events of the past two weeks.
You never gave up on me. Dear Anna, you never gave up on me, even when I did. And you don't even know the whole story yet, about why I kept you in the dark. Not yet.
Elsa felt her eyes moisten. She tried to hold the tears back for the briefest of moments, before allowing them to fall.
I'm alone. Its fine-
"Elsa?"
Elsa jerked. She hadn't heard Anna entering.
"Elsa? Why are you crying?"
Elsa didn't move, neither did she reply. She simply stared blankly at the floor. It took the sound of wood sliding over carpet to distract her. Looking up, she saw that Anna had dragged a chair towards the desk and was now sitting beside her.
"What is it?"
"Anna…" Elsa's voice trailed off.
How do I voice what I'm feeling?
Anna reached out to touch Elsa's hand. Elsa trembled at the touch.
"It's okay. You don't have to be afraid anymore."
Anna, I love you. But it's not that simple. Fear never is. I know what I have to be now- what I want to be. But it takes time to grow into a role.
Such were Elsa's thoughts. But her words were different. "But I have hope," she said.
"Then why are you afraid?"
Elsa's hands trembled again. She felt Anna's hand withdrawing and she quickly grasped it. She turned her head, meeting her sister's gaze.
"I lived for thirteen years without hope. When I fled to the North Mountain, I thought I'd found it at last. I was wrong." She tightened her grip on Anna's hand. "Living in the mountains without company, trying to flee from all responsibility- these things are irrational. They're the hope of a fool."
"You're not a fool, Elsa."
"Yes I am. Or I was. I was a fool to think that I could survive without human contact. I was a fool to think that living with myself required abandoning the throne. I was a fool to shut you out."
"But you stopped all that. You came back."
"I was brought back. And I was shown what I couldn't bring myself to see- what I was afraid to see. God sent you to show me what hope really is. Real hope is a frightening thing, Anna."
"What are you talking about?" Anna said. "Hope is a wonderful thing. Hope brought me -brought us- this far. And look where it's gotten us." She smiled. "I've got Kristoff, whom I'll marry one day, if he- I mean, uh, him and me, us…you know."
"Decide it's a good idea?"
"Yeah, we're taking it slow. I mean, you can't marry a man you just met."
Elsa closed her eyes and turned away, but she kept hold of Anna's hand.
"Hope brought me to you. And it gave you everything you wanted."
"Not everything. But many things, yes."
"Hope is beautiful, Elsa."
"Yes, it is. And that's why it frightens me."
"I still don't understand."
"Anna." Elsa's voice was strained. Her eyes were still shut.
"Yes?" Anna said. "I'm here."
"There's something…something I need to tell you."
"What is it?"
Again, Elsa saw the ice fly from her fingertips, striking Anna in the forehead. A shudder ran through her body. "Something…you should know." She opened her eyes. "But I don't have the strength to tell you now. When the time is right, I will."
"Sure," Anna replied, her tone kindly. "Whenever you want."
"Thank you."
She let go of Anna's hand. Standing up, she leaned over the desk. "I have a lot to do," she said, matter of factly.
"I can see that," said Anna. "Who comes up with all these tasks? I mean, yeesh. Some of these stacks are what, fifteen feet tall?"
Elsa chuckled. "You're exaggerating. And you know the answer already- queenly duties. Life isn't always a fairy tale. I have work to do, running this kingdom."
"I know, I know," Anna said, making a face. "You have to go and be miss hoity-toity now."
"Not perpetually."
"Well, when you're done, let me know." With that, Anna turned towards the door.
"Don't go." Elsa watched as Anna paused in mid-stride and spun about.
"Yes, your mightiness?"
Elsa gave free rein to her laughter. Then, abruptly, she became solemn once again. "I am afraid," she said. "You can't make that fear go away instantly, and neither can I. I'll just have to face it down, every day, and chip away at it little by little until it goes away."
"And I'll be there with you, every step of the way," said Anna. "We'll stare down your fear and kick it into the gutter where it belongs."
"Anna, don't overtax yourself," Elsa replied. "For now, it's enough that you're here."
"Right, of course," said Anna. "Any time you want me, I'll be here for you." She spun about again, nearly tripping as she hurried from the office.
Elsa watcher her depart, a smile on her face. Her hand strayed to her cross once more. Once again, the tears began to roll down her cheeks.