Summary:
For this Prompt on tumblr from vsquaredk: Rachel has a pet turtle. This turtle is incredibly intelligent... and psychic. When Quinn comes over for a science project, the turtle conspires to do something about both of their unrequited feelings
I know you said turtle, but I kinda like the idea of Rachel having a pet Sulcata.
A/N: Bold Italicized text indicates specific thoughts from our shell dwelling friend.
Rachel Berry was in a frenzy. More so than usual. She was at the moment reorganizing her room.
She was making me dizzy from watching her zoom from one corner of her room to the other, I had made the mistake of trying to make a quick escape, and unfortunately quick for me is never quick enough. I was only a mere foot away from my freedom when she snatched me up and placed me on her bed.
At least she gave me something to much on.
Lettuce. Yum.
I happily munch on my greens, occasionally glancing at Rachel who was almost done, based on how she was just looking at her room instead of running round in circles.
I was quite relieved to see that she was finally winding down. She'd been rearranging for hours.
When I hear her alarm go off, I knew it was all just wishful thinking.
I wanted to turn around and glare at it to make it stop making that awful noise. Only Rachel beat me to it, it's probably a good thing. The alarm lives for yet another day.
Apparently the alarm was set a purpose, now I had to endure Rachel's endless questions. About clothes. Specifically which argyle sweater made her eyes POP.
This isn't the first time I questioned her sanity. I internally sigh, and was quite amused by the look on her face. I guess she's just as exasperated as I am. She gives me one long look that I return without blinking.
When she kneels in front of me so that we were eye-level I knew that I had won.
"I'm confusing you aren't I?" she whispers as her fingers gently caress my head.
No shit Sherlock, I wonder whose coming over to set you off like this.
She releases a long sigh, so heavy that if I had eyebrows they'd be up to my non-existent hairline.
"I'm not sure if I had mentioned this, but Quinn is coming over today," she says getting up to lie down beside me, "It's for this Chemistry assignment, Actually I'm still wondering how we got paired up actually, And now I kind of wished I was paired with Santana, she'd make me do the assignment and just add her name, Quinn has changed a lot, but I'm not myself when she's around," she laments covering her face with her arm.
Ooooh the infamous Quinn Fabray. This should be interesting.
I walk closer to her and bite the bottom of her shirt, pulling it to get her attention.
She lifts her arm, and turns to look at me. Her narrowing eyes made me realize I just made a mistake.
"Tello, I need you to be on your best behavior tonight," she says.
I'm always on my best behavior. The only time I wasn't was whenever you had those idiots in here with you. And just so we're clear, I'm glaring at you.
"Don't look at me like that, I don't understand how you, a mild mannered fun loving reptile as yourself could, gnaw at Finn's bag leaving a gaping hole at the bottom," she says in annoyance.
He deserved it! He kept breaking your heart.
"Then, you put some of your chewed up food in Noah's jacket pocket when he was here last."
Serves him right, he was trying to get in your pants.
"When all he was trying to do was teach me how to play this particular song on the guitar so I could serenade you know who," she adds getting up from the bed.
In hindsight that might have been a bit harsh, but he still tried to kiss you anyway.
"And let's not forget Jesse!" her voice was definitely louder, and shriller.
My favorite!
"You defecated in his shoes! It stank for days!" she exclaims
He was a douche! Consider it proactive payback, no one eggs you and gets away with it ok!
"I feel as if you're trying to tell me you dislike all of my former leading men."
Because not one of them deserve you. And you didn't think of them half as much as you know who.
"But clearly you had the right idea all along; I was destined for someone else. And she's coming over tonight. So be good."
Oh Rachel, I'm always good.
"You know, those three boys always seem to have something happen to them whenever they drop by, usually it's after I tell you they did something that I didn't like. Finn hit his head, Puck's Mohawk got trimmed, and Jessie's eyebrows were singed, quite peculiar events if I do say so myself," she adds as an afterthought, if I could laugh out loud I would have.
But I can't.
I'll just hide inside my shell for now. It's easier to plot my devious plans in the dark anyway.
Hey! Wait a minute put me down this instant!
This was one of those things I love to hate, and hate to love: Being carried in Rachel's arms. I'm still waiting for her dad to fix my own little elevator. It's taking ages to get done. I stuck my head long enough for Rachel to notice me looking at her.
"Oh shush you, I just want some strawberries," she tells me with a glint in her eyes.
Strawberries! I love strawberries!
"Would you like some Donatello?" she asks me.
Hmmmm Strawberries!
She places me on the counter top while she grabs the bowl of fresh, ripe and plump strawberries from the fridge. My mouth instinctively opens in anticipation.
And just like that one hovers close to my mouth.
I happily munch on my favorite treat of all time! The Berry's have me on a very strict diet. This is bliss for me.
"Tello..." Rachel sing songs, and I know that sound, she uses it on her Dads all the time.
Warning! Abort! Abort munching on the irresistible strawberries, it's a trap! A trap I say!
Rachel just smiles deviously at me, taunting me with a red plump sweet strawberry.
Drat! She has me. But I must resist, must resist yummy sweet hmmmmm strawberries.
Well might as well give in.
"Can you try and be nice tonight, no snapping and biting. Please," she pleads before softly adding, "I don't want to scare her away."
I hide my head, to think. Ok, maybe I hide in shame. I can sometimes be a bit too much, and let loose my evil nefarious side, I just don't like it when people hate my Rachel. She's perfect. I often find myself hating the fact that she can't cuddle me when she's sad. Instead I walk to the edge of her bed and fall on my back, have you ever seen a tortoise try to get back on its front? It's not as easy as it looks, but it sure gets a smile from my favorite person all the time.
Thinking about wrecking havoc tonight, might not be the best course of action, unless.
"Tello, come out please," I hear Rachel say, "I did not infer that you were about to do something devious, far from it. I just…" she trails off, prompting me poke my head just a little.
She scoots down so that we were face to face, "I just want her to like you too, you're the closest thing that I have to a best friend, aside from my fathers of course," she tells me smiling, before giving me kiss on top of my head, if I wasn't a cold blooded animal, I'd probably be blushing now.
Her hand moves to pat my head, and I nuzzle it as much as I could.
"I love you Tello," she says softly, smiling at me.
Well might as well put my powers to good use.
I love you too Rachel
She grabs the strawberry I had initially abandoned, and for a lack of a better description feeds it to me, "I think your shell needs a fine shining, it's been awhile, what do you say?" she asks.
Who would say no to that?
-o-o-o-o-
Once again I found myself on Rachel's bed, this time watching her check her checklist, for the 5th time.
"Room clean, check."
"Best Argyle attire, check."
"Chemistry assignment, check."
"Refreshments, check."
"Hair, check."
"Make-up, check."
"Emergency kit, check."
"Dapper looking Donatello, check."
The last part of her checklist makes me want to chuckle so bad, did she really have to verify that, I'm totally always dapper. I have to be, if I was to be a famous Broadway star's pet/ best friend.
Give it a rest Rachel, I already have the whole list memorized
She looks at me funny, and was about to say something when the doorbell rings, she glances at her clock, let's out an impressive hybrid of a squeal and scream, before bolting out her door.
"I'll get it!" I hear her scream.
Showtime!
It takes them awhile to finally get to her room, by the time they do, I was already at the edge of Rachel's bed thinking of the best way to avoid a nose dive.
"We can work in here, if that's all right with you. It's just that my Fathers would be around for awhile, and they'll be quite nosy and I refuse to subject you to the kind of treatment," Rachel says from the door.
As the door opens, I hear the Quinn Fabray's voice, "It's all right I don't mind."
The moment she enters the room, I was struck by how beautiful she is, the next thought that occurs in my head is that she compliments my Rachel quite well.
"So here we are, " Rachel says gesturing to her room, before smoothing down her skirt. She's acting like she has a suitor in her room, this will not do. I spy Quinn walk in, looking around.
Perfect!
Just a little nudge and I watch as the queen stumble only to be caught by Rachel, their gazes meet, and it was so intense I was positive I saw crackling energy between them.
Score!
"Sorry about that," Quinn mumbles pulling away, a little bit too late if I say so myself. Her blushing cheeks also something I did not anticipate at all.
Interesting, could it be?
Rachel was also sporting a bit of a blush, "It's all right," she mumbles before walking over to her desk, Quinn stands in place.
Don't I get an introduction or something?
When Rachel, rummages around for whatever it is she's looking for, and Quinn's eyes glued to her amazingly wonderful behind and killer legs, I knew drastic measures had to be done.
BANZAI!
I land on my back, the side to side motion my shell was making, was giving me a mild headache. And when I am not at my normal 100% things don't go as planned.
"What the hell is that?" Quinn exclaims pointing at me accusingly.
I'm a tortoise Blondie! I glare at your general direction hmph!
If I could, I would have done my own version of a diva storm off, I'd be rather spectacular at it.
"Don't scream at him, that's my pet Tortoise," Rachel answers, picking me up.
"I wasn't screaming, I was startled and wait, YOU have a pet turtle?" Quinn asks amused.
Were you not listening, TORTOISE! TORTOISE not TURTLE. I'm a land dweller.
"Tortoise Quinn, they're related but he's a land dweller, usually in the Sahara Dessert. Donatello is a Sulcata,"
I'm rethinking things here, is she really in the honor roll.
Quinn looks at me warily, "Ok tortoise got it, and Donatello?"
"Yes Donatello, I named him after my favorite teenage mutant ninja turtle. He was by far the smartest and well spoken of the four," Rachel says, angling me in a way that I was now facing Quinn.
She looks at my shell with trepidation. I really didn't want to come out.
"I don't think he likes me," Quinn says when I hide inside myself.
You got that right!
"I think he just got scared when you screamed, " says Rachel, before whispering near my head, "Say hello Tello," I poke my head out, and look at Quinn, I hate to admit it, but I am clearly whipped.
"Oh, he's cute," Quinn says, "Hi there," she says waving her hand a little.
Maybe you're not so bad after all, coz that was just adorable.
"That he is," Rachel says agreeing.
You got that right girlfriend, I am the epitome of cuteness.
Rachel puts me back on her bed, giving me a stern "Stay" command, she walks back to her desk, offering something to Quinn, "Feed him that, he'll warm up to you in an instant."
Rachel! That's cheating, you know I can't resist those.
"Strawberries?" Quinn asks amused.
Rachel nods her head, "Tello is quite partial to strawberries," she mock whispers winking at me, before sitting down on the floor back to her bed.
Traitor! I'll gnaw at your hair if you're not careful.
"I'm all about berries," Quinn whispers, before ducking her head in embarrassment.
Well, that's interesting.
Both girls are now blushing in front of me. And all I want is a bite of that strawberry. I move forward, and nudge Quinn's head. She turns around face still flushed, and smiles at me. I open my mouth, maybe she can get a clue.
She offers me the strawberry, before turning back her attention to Rachel. Who was looking intently at her notebook..
I love straw—hey! Quit moving your hand or I will bite it!
"So, uh electromagnetic force right?" Quinn asks looking intently at My Rachel. Looking like she just wants to jump my Rachel.
Rachel nods her head absently, grabbing their chemistry sheet, "Yes, simply put it's the reaction of putting two opposite things together. Usually creating something better," Rachel answers then turning her head. Not minding that Quinn's face was only inches away.
I munch on my strawberry watching as Quinn licked her lips, moving closer to Rachel, "Basically Opposites attract right?"
Oooooooohhhhh, this better than day time soap
"Yes, but it's more than that, and we need to," Rachel continues, her eyes glued to Quinn's lips, "we need to create an actual model of electromagnetism, and do the report in front of class."
Come on Kiss her!
And they kiss, more accurately Quinn kissed Rachel, with a little nudge from me.
SHIT! I didn't mean to do that!
Quinn pulls away, eyes glazed before making a move to do it again, only stopping when someone knocks at Rachel's door.
"Sweetheart we're ordering Pizza, any requests?" Rachel's Daddy asks.
"Anything's fine daddy," She answers looking at Quinn who was looking at her.
"OK, I'll let you know when it's time for dinner," he says.
Silence isn't fun, especially when you have two hormonal teenagers denying the fact they were hopelessly attracted to each other, and that they had just kissed, undeniably drawn to each other, kinda like electromagnetic force.
Quinn takes a deep breath before apologizing, "I'm sorry, I can leave if you want."
"For kissing me?" Rachel asks.
"For everything else, but not the kiss," she says, "I've wanted to do that for awhile."
"Oh," was all Rachel says.
"Oh? That's all you got?" Quinn asks unamused, I watch her get on her feet.
Oy Vey, this is turning into a disaster!
"It's not every day that something like this happens, Quinn, I apologize if I was unable to articulate a more formidable response," answers Rachel who was now on her feet as well.
"This what the kiss? Or the apology?"
"Both! This is a big anomaly. Why did you think that this was the best time to kiss me and render me completely incapable of rational thought? To apologize? I won't be able to work on this stupid project now, I don't think I can work on this and not want to kiss you. And Chemistry is not my favorite subject!" Rachel spat, "I'm so mad at you right now, I was going to serenade you at glee!"
Yup complete train wreck.
"Which is exactly why I told Coach Sylvester that I could get intel from you to use to ruin glee club by blackmailing Mr. Smith to pair me up with you, after all you are the star of the club! I wanted to be paired up with you, I like you even if you're being absolutely idiotic, and here I was planning to ask you out on a date when all this was done, this is all your fault for having such kissable lips!"
Ooooh, nice serve there princess.
"You're trying to ruin glee club?" was Rachel's reply.
Someone lend me a hand and smack me in the face please. Score Quinn 1, Rachel 0.
"Out of everything I said, that's what you remember?" Quinn utters incredulously.
Rachel adorably bites her lip, "Glee clubs star huh?"
Quinn 1, Rachel 1.
"Rational thought eradicating kiss."
Quinn 2, Rachel 1.
"Manipulation to be paired up with me."
Quinn 2, Rachel 2.
"Waning self-control."
Quinn 3, Rachel 2.
"Kissable Lips."
Quinn 3, Rachel 3.
"Serenade at glee."
Quinn 4, Rachel 3.
"You like me."
Quinn 4, Rachel .
"Uhh, yeah…"
"And you were going to ask me out on a date? You and me, like dinner and maybe a movie that kind of date? This isn't a prank is it?"
Quinn 4, Rachel 5.
"No, I like you Rachel, for quite some time now."
"Oh."
Quinn 5, Rachel 5. Match Point.
Rachel kneels back down and proceeds to clean up her notes and pens, Quinn looks on alarmed, "Rachel?"
"Aren't you going to ask me out Quinn, I think its best we go through with that date, and wing the report much later?"
"Uh, I thought Chem wasn't your favorite?"
"It isn't but I maintain a 4.0 GPA, much like you, right now I am acing that class. So ask."
"Ask?"
"Ask me out, really Quinn must we go around in circles?"
"Rachel Berry, would you go out on a date with me?"
"Yes I will, and I expect you to pick me up on time, advice me of where we're going so I can dress accordingly."
"Can I help you pick an outfit instead?"
"Are you mocking my fashion sense? I can still say no you know."
"No, I just…never mind dear, you can wear whatever you want."
"Good."
"Soooo, can I kiss you again?"
"No."
"Bummer."
"I don't kiss on the first date either."
"Damn."
I have a feeling that life around here is about to get better.
-o-o-o-o-
And things did get better, and a lot more interesting. Quinn and Rachel bicker a lot.
"He was holding you like you were still his girlfriend Rachel! I don't like it!" Quinn shrieks the moment the bedroom door closed, I wonder what happened this time.
"Quinn, we're the lead stars, we have to act as if we feel the song, so yes he had to look at me and hold me like I was his girlfriend," was Rachel's exasperated response.
"I can't believe it, you like it, don't you! You like the attention Hagrid gives you!"
"First, Hagrid? That's the best you can come up with. Second, I don't love Finn Hudson not anymore and Third, are you jealous?" was Rachel's amused comeback.
"Of course I'm jealous! You're mine, and he should keep his gigantic hands to himself!" says Quinn, grabbing Rachel possessively.
"I'm yours?" was Rachel's reply, willingly moving towards Quinn. Her voice tinged with awe.
"Yes, mine. I love you ok? And I don't share."
Hey! She was mine first get in line!
"Well except for Tello, and your dads, the rest can suck it," Quinn adds before diving in to kiss Rachel.
I stayed in my shell for a good hour, before doing another Kamikaze dive. It was the only way to get the girls' attention. I didn't want Rachel's dads to walk in on you know what.
Like, a real lot. Almost as if they were married.
"Quinn Fabray, You did not read the itinerary I gave you! I worked hard on that," Rachel says stomping into the house.
Quinn follows behind her, a frown marring her face.
I think I'll just hide in my shell now
"Rachel, you gave me the 10 paged, single spaced paper 5 minutes before cheerios practice and once I got out of the locker room you dragged me all the way to my car, when would I have had time to read it?"
"The first page was a summary, I highlighted the most important part!"
"Why are you so mad at me, I just asked you if you wanted to go out tonight, they're showing the sound of music at that Cineplex you love, I thought you'd like the fact that I was subjecting myself to the movie for the nth time." Quinn says clearly frustrated before adding, "If you didn't want to go out with me, all you had to do was say so."
"I don't want to go out." Rachel answers.
I have yet to come out of hiding, but even I knew that Quinn would bolt any minute.
"Oh ok, I'll just go then," Quinn says, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Get a clue my young Padawan. Tell her already!
"Quinn! My dads are out of town! If you just read the itinerary I gave you, you would have seen that I intent to stay indoors with you and make good use of my parentless household the whole weekend."
You better leave me here then, and provisions too. I have a feeling I won't be seeing much of either of you.
"Couldn't you have just told me that?"
I hear kissing sounds EW.
"I just wanted to give you a detailed description of what we would be doing for the next 72 hours or so."
More kissing sounds.
"Yeah?"
"Quinn, you should really learn to appreciate the things I do for you, like the itinerary for example, it lists a number of your *ehem* fantasies that I deemed acceptable. I even went as far as purchasing a few things for our enjoyment," says Rachel, voice growing lower, and sexier. I so did not just think that.
Is it me or is it hot in here.
"Upstairs. Now." Was all Quinn said, the next thing I know, I hear thundering footsteps across the foyer, up the stairs and the distinct slamming of Rachel's door. And even if her room is soundproofed I think I heard a growl. And a thud.
I poke my head out.
Great I'm stuck in this house for 72 hours with horny teenagers without adult supervision.
Oi! What about my food!
I make my way to the kitchen and help myself to whatever food I can find in the fridge. I'd rather not disturb them, that's just wrong.
Hmmm strawberries!
But all in all Quinn is pretty cool. I approve of this relationship. I like how protective she is of my girl.
The sun was shining, and there was joyous laughter in the backyard. I find it weird that there are 10 other teenagers lounging around the pool.
Rachel was at the moment, leaning on Quinn. She laughs at something that Quinn said, prompting the blonde to lean down and kiss her.
I hear a groan a few feet from them. Puck and Finn are both watching, one watching with lust, the other muttering something under his breath, while staring daggers at my girl's girl.
Stop perving on Rachel and her girl dudes! Not cool, so not cool!
Quinn turns her head and glares at them, "What? It's not my fault you were both stupid to let her go!" she says with a sneer, face softening when Rachel grabs her hand.
Oh look birds. Awesome. Bombs away!
Both guys scream, after all it's not every day that a flock of birds fly low enough to use you as a porta-let.
"Serves you right pervs. She's mine. Get used to it," Quinn adds for good measure, pulling Rachel closer. Like they weren't already glued together.
She looks at me and gives me a wink and my girl a kiss.
Ok, her girl.
And she comes with perks too.
"Hi baby," Quinn says in greeting. Gliding over to where Rachel sat. Giving her a long kiss.
I watch Rachel come back to her senses, smiling adorably at her girlfriend, "You're early, and hello back."
"I missed you," Quinn says kissing Rachel again.
Rachel playfully pushes her away before standing, pulling her in for a hug, "I saw you a few hours ago."
"Exactly," was all Quinn said, I see her pull away from a whiny Rachel, "Wait, I got you something," she says grabbing her bag. She proceeds to pull out a zip lock bag and another container. "Vegan chocolate for my girl, and rose petals for Tello."
She gives Rachel her chocolate and walks over to me, opens up the bag and puts a few petals in front of me. Before patting me in the head.
You're spoiling me Quinn, you're ok. Not so bad after all.
She makes my girl happy. And that's all I ever wanted anyway. Besides they're quite adorable together.
"Sorry big guy, but I need you to not be in Rach's room right now," Quinn says lifting me up and locking me out of Rachel's room.
Horndog!
Except when she totally needs to get laid, I can't reconcile the idea of her as the celibacy club president. Girl totally gets her freak on.
A lot.
They both do.
I think it's time you guys think of getting me a female friend! Tortoises need love too you know!
The door opens, and Quinn pokes her head out, "I'll make it up to you Tello," she whispers dropping a strawberry in front of me.
Quinn Fabray. She's kinda awesome.
"Quinn Fabray! You come back here right this instant!" shrieks Rachel.
But Rachel and Quinn together. Absolutely perfect.