I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but I wish to convey the horrors I have witnessed last night, well I still feel I have some sense of my own sanity. I have seen things that go against everything I have known about the world, and as I stare at the thing that sits on the table in front of me, I must question if I can continue on, knowing what things linger in the dark.

It all began as I was hiking through the cascade mountains of Washington state.
Still a young woman - recently graduated from high school - I wished to explore and experience nature before starting the slow grind of adult life. Being overall more on furtive side I went by myself, often finding it hard to socialize with most people and preferring to be alone with my thoughts and nature. After a few days hiking I found myself in dense forest, and before I knew it I had lost my bearings. Nothing seemed to make sense with my map, and I swear my compass couldn't make up its mind. Attempting to get my bearings, but to no avail, I found myself wondering deeper and deeper into the trees.

I made camp for the night, and when I awoke all but my clothes were gone, and there was a great mist permeating the forest. I had no food and no idea of where I was, so I had no choice but to blindly stumble through the trees. I walked and walked for what seemed like days, but could only have been hours, as the sun could be seen barely shining through the canopy. For a long time there was nothing but trees and fog until suddenly, seemly out of nowhere, the mist had vanished and I was in a clearing. The sun shone down on the grass and flowers littering the ground, and a deer serenely grazed near the center.

I stopped to take a breath and admire the peaceful scene before me, but it's tranquility was quickly interrupted as an arrow zipper through the air and landed squarely in the chest of the deer, causing it to fall over and quickly die with little to no resistance. Utterly shocked by what had just happened I found myself about to scream, but just as the sound was about to leave my throat, I froze. That was the moment I saw her walk out of the forest, and towards the now deceased creature. She was unlike anything I had ever seen. The way she carried herself, I knew she was strong, capable, yet at the same time she was soft. She wore strange simplistic garments I didn't quite recognize, and struck as something of a bygone age. She had a stunning yet gentle face, and there was kindness in her eyes, eyes as green as the trees themselves and long red hair that seemed to catch fire in the sunlight.

I was stunned, rendered motionless, first by the quick departure of the deer, but then because of the charisma of the girl who walked confidently into the clearing. My heart pounded in my chest as she stopped and turned to me. "Why hello there," she said with a smile in a soft sing-song voice, "I hope I didn't startle you to much, what brings you to my forest?"

I stood there for a few seconds before I can manage to compose myself long enough to speak, keenly aware or how red my cheeks were turning. "Lost..." I sort of squeaked out, but I cleared my throat and said "I got lost hiking through the area and eventually found myself here."

"Such strange garments you wear, you must have traveled far to find yourself here, for we are far away from what you would probably consider 'civilized' life." she chuckled following the last bit and walked over and picked up the deer, slinging it over her shoulders with a fluid motion and easily strode over to me. "I consider myself an excellent host, and since you have found yourself in my territory I insist you come back to my place for dinner, it will be night soon and I'm sure you could use a proper meal."

Before I could even interject she grabbed my hand and began to lead me through the forest. I expected her hand to be strong and rough for someone who lived in the forest, yet it had a gentleness to it that pervaded her entire being. I offered no resistance and followed behind her closely, keeping my hand in hers. We walked for a short time until we came to a lake, with a quaint log cabin sitting on its shore. The sun was setting behind the mountains, sunlight scattering across the horizon and dancing along the surface of the water. I felt as though I had walked into a fantasy, or perhaps even a painting. It seemed too beautiful to be real - just as she did. When she invited me to come inside I had no hesitation.

"Make yourself comfortable." she said as she set the deer on a table and started to make a fire. I sat at one of the 2 chairs placed next to a table, still mildly disoriented after all that had happened to me so far, not to mention being close to someone this radiant. Neither of us spoke for short time, she took out some already prepared meat and began to cook a meal as I admired the cabin I now found myself in. My eyes scanned the many strange assortment of masks, idols, totems and other various objects scattered around the dwelling, my thoughts only accompanied by the sounds of cooking food, and the soft soothing humming of my host. The variety of odds and ends bearing various gems and engrave symbols led me to conclude my host was part of some sort of occult practices. Had this been 100 years ago practicing the occult might be cause for alarm, but as a woman of the modern age I respect all systems of belief, and was in fact fascinated by it all.

Before to long she placed a bowl of stew and a plate of meat on the table in front of me and sitting down in the other chair with a similar meal of her own. She quietly muttered what I assume to be a quick prayer in some language I didn't recognize, and looked up at me. "You've been awfully quiet." she said, smiling softly "Please eat as much as you like, the black goat provides for me so there is plenty to share."

"You are to kind." I said, finally managing to speak, "I apologize for my shyness, I don't socialize with others to often."
"Nonsense," she said with a mild chuckle "you have nothing to apologize for. If you prefer the silence then you don't need to speak another word, but of course may if you prefer."
I couldn't help but smile at her kind words, and I felt myself relax. "Your house is quite lovely," I was able to say calmly "and this food looks delicious."
"Don't thank me," she said "thank the goddess, for she gives all."
I smiled, "Then I give thanks to your goddess, for this food and for you."

I'm not sure if it was the freshness of ingredients or the fact I hadn't eaten much in quite a while, but it was the most delicious food I had ever tasted. I started out slowly but found myself eating faster and faster until all the food given to me was gone and my stomach was satisfyingly full.
As I finished eating she looked up at me, in the middle of finishing her own meal. "I'm glad to see you enjoyed your food, it's not often I get to entertain guests. There's something about the simple joy of providing something for someone else."
"It was delicious; I'm glad my presence was able to bring you some joy."

She let out a soft giggle and a smile, and suddenly embarrassed at my cheesy line I myself blushing and looking away. I went back to admiring the many things along the wall of her cabin as she finished eating, occasionally finding my gaze drifting to her. When she was finished she took our dishes from the table and sat back next to me. A few moments passed; our eyes wand suddenly becoming flustered I began talking.

"Your home has such a variety of fascinating things in it, I would love to hear about them and this goddess of yours."

"Let me show you."

She got up and grabbed a small idol from one of her shelves, she handed it to me and sat back in her chair - this time moving it even closer to where I sat. It was an intricately carved wooden figure, black in some seemingly unnatural way. It was of a female humanoid who was naked and featured a large pregnant stomach. She was mostly human with aspects of a goat - similar to a satyr or a faun - but with a head closer to a goat than human - like a minotaur, but the most noticeable thing was her seven eyes of dazzling opal. "She is the lord of the woods, the black goat with a thousand young. I have become one of her children, and I worship her for this wonderful life she has given me."

"This is incredibly fascinating," I said with a mild nervousness, I was honestly interested in learning about her beliefs, but also keenly aware of her moving closer and closer to me, "I would love to hear more."

"Perhaps I shall just show you that as well." she placed her hand on mine, wrapping her fingers around mine, "My goddess encourages her children to indulge in their fantasies."

With her other hand she gently caressed the back of my neck and brought my head towards hers until our lips embraced. It wasn't long before we were on top of the bed - our naked bodies were entwined together - and a good while after, we laid simply enjoying the presence of the other. I admired her face as my fingers traced her form in the low fire light. I didn't care about anything other than her; I felt truly happy.
We were silent for a while, but as the moon began to rise through the windows, she at last ended the comfortable silence. "It makes me happy you showed up today of all days," she said softly yet clearly, holding my hand in hers, with our bodies still pressed against each other, "it must have been fate, for tonight is a special night, those of us who live in the forest gather and celebrate well the moon is high in the night sky, and our goddess shall dance with us in the forest. I wish for you to join me, so we may dance together under the stars. We shall drink of her milk and for tonight be granted her visage."

I responded immediately with no need for thought, "Of course, I will go wherever you take me." I had found something indescribable, and I didn't want to let it - let her - out of my sight. A part of me never wanted to leave her side. She took my hand and I followed her gladly, as we left the small cabin without even stopping to put on clothes, for the night was warm and there was no need for such things. All the parts of the forest looked the same to me but she knew exactly where she was going, and I found myself trusting her completely. Throughout the whole experience I had never once thought about how I didn't even know the name of this mysterious woman who had captivated my heart and mind so, yet it did not matter.

We eventually came into a clearing, the same one where I had first met her, what seemed like years ago. I'm not sure how I knew, for it was night and the forest was vast, but deep down I knew this was the same place, a place of strong fate indeed. The night was dark and the moon was creeping ever closer to its highest point in the sky, other naked people gathered around a large bonfire in the center of the clearing. Some of them wore strange and exotic mask, or other ornaments and jewelry, the people were of various ages and colors, but they all danced and chanted in the night. The girl, still holding my hand, lead me towards the group, and as they played large drums we all danced under the light of the stars and the moon. "Iä! Shub-Niggurath!" they all cried, along with many other strange things I can't recall. They all chanted and the drums pounded, and the night seemed to go on and on, until the moon reached its zenith.

A strong wind blew through the clearing, warm and sweet, and the drums upbeat tempo changed to a low rhythmic pattern. The air became thick and full of heat as the fire began to change. It morphed and writhed as it slowly shifted from the bright orange and red of normal fire, into a dark eldritch purple. The clouds in the sky began to swirl in the air, growing in size and ferocity yet managing to never block out the moon. I stopped and stood in awe of this strange occurrence, as the drums got louder and louder. But splendor quickly turned into dread as the outlines of the flame became some sort of portal, through which it stepped out.

Mere words cannot describe what unutterable horror I saw emerge from those flames, a .horrifying mass of black containing an ever changing amount of eyes, mouths, and tentacles, all supported by a number of goat like legs. Globs of mass would fall of its ever shifting body, springing legs as they hit the ground. Some of these things would immediately run of into the forest, but the others stayed and writhed in the moonlight. Everyone around me cheered as I stood there frozen in horror. Unable to move, unable to blink, I simply stared in terror at the thing that had appeared in front of me. The thing began to exude a milk like substance, and they all rushed forward and drank of it. I began to slowly walk backwards, wanting to escape, though I could not bring myself to turn away and run. I did not run until I saw how all those who had drank of the milk were transforming into creatures similar to that wooden idol, including the girl who had brought me to this place.

I probably screamed as I ran from the place, though honestly it was all a blur. I awoke in the morning, with my clothes and gear lying next to me, and the sound of a road nearby. I got dressed and hitchhiked backed to town, telling no one what I had seen, after all I wasn't entirely sure I hadn't dreamed the the entire encounter, and no one would have believed me anyway. It wasn't until I had gotten a room for the night and started unpacking my things, that I found the strange black idol, tucked away in my backpack. I know now that what I saw truly happened, and as I've been writing this I will occasionally stop stop to admire the idol sitting on the table in front of me, and I can just about feel her hand against mine. At first I thought writing down these events would drive me deeper into madness, but as I write these words, and as I stare into the many eyes of this mesmerizing goddess, I have become overwhelmed by a feeling of longing, now driven by the insatiable urge to go back and find the girl who had challenged all I thought I knew about the world.