Craig Tucker was a weird kid. Not the type of weird where they do really strange, creepy things, but the type of weird where he has a interesting yet confusing personality. Craig was the type of kid who was 16 years old and still watched re-runs of Red Racer. He was the type of kid who wouldn't bother telling people things unless it was 100% necessary. He often thought that people in his town only asked you things because they wanted to know, not because they actually cared. Craig was the type of kid who spoke in a nasally tone. He's the type of kid who's pretty ironic. He's the type of kid who speaks flatly with no emotion shown at all in his voice. Craig Tucker is the epitome of a total asshole.
Kenny Mccormick was a interesting guy. He's the type of guy who tries to think on the brighter side of life because he doesn't really have a choice. He's the type of guy who buys the cheaper cigarettes because he can't afford the good ones. He's the type of guy who quite frankly couldn't care less about what people have to say about him. He's the type of guy who tells pointless stories about his sex life. He's the type of guy who's had too many girlfriends and boyfriends to count. He's the type of guy who teases and annoys people for his own personal enjoyment.
Kenny Mccormick and Craig Tucker were polar opposites. That's the reason people were shocked when someone told them that they were actually really close friends.
Kenny was spread out on the couch in his small, run-down house when he received a text from a certain Tucker. He groaned at the sound of the message beep and the vibrations of the phone as it moved slightly on the wooden coffee table. He reached over to check his texts, and a small smirk was brought to his face.
From: Craig Fucker
I'm coming round.
Kenny scoffed slightly and tapped away at the keys of his cellphone, forming a reply. He texted back:
oh fuckin really?
It took Craig a few minutes to reply.
From: Craig Fucker
Yes. 'Fuckin' really.
Well hurry up then oh, and bring food i'm hungry
Kenny waited about half an hour until he heard a knock at the front door. He jumped up off the couch and hurried to door, strangely excited to see Craig. He unlocked the door with shaking hands and swung it open before leaning on the door frame with a grin on his pale face.
Craig didn't say anything or form any kind of expression. He just pushed past Kenny's skinny body and made his way to the couch, leaving Kenny standing there shocked with raised eyebrows. Kenny closed the door behind him and shoved his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Making myself at home." Replied Craig flatly, sitting himself down on the old couch. He took off his hat and placed it on the coffee table next to Kenny's phone.
"Well you sure know how don't you Craig?" Kenny slowly made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and inspected it to find out it was well... pretty empty. There was 10 corona beers that obviously him and Craig would be finishing right about now. His parents always bought the beer, never the food that was actually needed.
After a few moments he joined Craig back on the couch and handed him a bottle of beer. "Here's your beer, now where's my food?"
Craig took a swig of the beer before facing Kenny. "I didn't bring any."
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Well why not assmunch?"
"I didn't want to."
"Hang on a moment. You invite yourself to my house, I simply ask you to provide me with food as I'm currently providing you with beer. But obviously that's too much for you to handle."
"Shut up you dick. I brought cigarettes so think yourself lucky." Craig pulled the cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, and handed one to Kenny.
Kenny grinned and searched for the lighter that was somewhere on the couch. "Ah this is fuckin' awesome. I've had no cigs for days, considering my dickhead brother Kevin stole them all. Snooping around in my room like he owns the place, who does he think he is?"
"Isn't Kevin like what, 20 now?" Mumbled Craig as he tried to light the cigarette that was balancing in-between his lips. "Hang on, your parents won't mind us smoking in here right?"
Kenny scoffed lightly and laughed. "Yeah he is. And are you fucking serious? 1. They're not in. 2. They're known to work in a meth lab. Do you really think they'll mind? They're not in anyway. I buy their cigarettes for them half the time dude. Oh and pass me your lighter, I can't find mine."
Craig dropped the lighter in Kenny's lap and took a long drag from his cigarette. He let the smoke from his mouth fill the room. Kenny also lit his cigarette and took a drag. He could feel the smoke leave his lungs, and to be honest, he was a really happy guy at this moment in time. Sitting on his couch with some hot dude called Craig Tucker, drinking his favourite beer and smoking the cigarettes he can never afford. It just couldn't be better. "So, Craig. How ya been?"
Craig clicked his tongue and sniffed, the smell of smoke still fresh in the air. "It's been okay I guess. Could of been a little better. But, y'know."
Kenny lowered his eyebrows in confusion and took another drink. "What do you mean, 'it could of been better'," He honestly didn't get Craig at times. He really didn't. "Something happened?"
"Everything's just kinda shit. I can't really be bothered with people at the moment. I never can, everyone's a fucking asshole."
Kenny laughed. "Well, I can agree with you on that one. This town is full of asshole's. You still got detention for the next month?"
Craig groaned and finished off his cigarette before dropping it into the ashtray that was balancing on the arm of the couch. "Yes! What a joke, I didn't even do anything dude."
"You must of done something. You wouldn't have detention otherwise."
"I called my science teacher a cock sucker. That's it."
There was a long silence before the two boys burst out laughing. Kenny put his hands behind his head. "You're a fucking idiot."
10 beers and a whole packet of cigarettes later, the two boys were most definitely feeling the buzz. Craig felt lightheaded and giddy, and Kenny's eyes were closing themselves every 5 minutes as if his body was practically telling him he needed to sleep now. But with a drunk Craig Tucker in his company, there was no way possible that was happening any time soon.
It was like Craig was a different person when he was drunk. He really let himself go. He would sit and giggle to himself and crack numerous unfunny jokes, but he would laugh at them anyway as if he was some kind of world class comedian. He finished his last beer and placed it on the floor. "They're all finished, look at us fuckin' go!"
Kenny rubbed his eyes and snickered at Craig before crawling over to sit closer to him. "Yo Craig, you got a light?" His words were slurred and slow.
"We smoked all the cigarettes you twat."
Kenny giggled again before slapping his hands down on his thighs. "Haha! That's right, we did!"
The boys laughed some more until the room fell silent. Kenny yawned before speaking up. "Hey Craig if two guys are drunk and sitting on a couch together hugging what do they do?"
"They kiss or some shit."
Kenny nodded his head. He leaned in and pulled Craig into a kiss. There lips clashed and Kenny smirked in-between the kiss, feeling extremely happy with himself. It wasn't anything fast or adrenaline pumping, it was slow and kinda... nice. If any kiss between Kenny Mccormick and Craig Tucker could be romantic, it was this one. Since they were known as 'friends with benefits' just sitting here with Craig made him feel wanted for once.
After they pulled away, Craig put a arm around Kenny's shoulder. "People always ask if we're dating and it's weird because I've never even thought about it."
Kenny beamed like a child in a toy store. A relationship with Craig Tucker? Emotions, actual romantic feelings for someone like Craig? No! It could never happen! But by god was he going to try it.
"Well why fuckin' not?"
"Exactly. Why not."
"Sooooo, are we like full-fledged homosexual boyfriends now or not?"
Craig smiled, his first actual genuine smile in days. "You speak the biggest load of bullshit. But yeah, I guess we are. How long have you, you know, liked me for?"
Kenny flapped his hand around in the air and rested his head on Craig's shoulder. "I dunno. I've liked you for like nearly a year or somethin'. Obviously I've slept with other people, cause that's just me. But I've liked you for quite a while."
"Same here dude."
"We're so gunna regret this in the morning."
And with that, Kenny drifted off to sleep with his head resting on Craig's shoulder, and in no time at all, Craig found himself falling asleep too. He was gunna get the biggest surprise ever when woke up to find out he wasn't single. But who cares? It was worth a go. But damn, if people were surprised at them just being friends, they'd be really surprised at this.
I love writing drunk craig and kenny, i really do! This is honestly the only way i can imagine these two agreeing to a relationship. My headcanon for them is that they're not the best with relationships, but they'll give it a try anyway.
I hope you liked it! x