Disclaimer – as if anyone would expect otherwise, Tsubasa and related materials are not mine, they're the property of CLAMP. If they were mine, the grand finale would feature a drop-down drag-out battle to the death between the true grudge match of the series – Kurogane and Makona. My money is on Makona.

Naive – Not Stupid

In the single dim light in the quiet room, pen scratched against paper deftly.

Hi, my name is Sakura. I'm sixteen years old, the princess of a kingdom in another dimension, and I like long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners.

Wasn't all that funny, was it? I never really got the hang of that. Sarcasm, I mean. Never really was my forte. In a lot of ways I was never really good with humor. A lot of humor really needs that you've got some vicious edge, and... well. I can't say that's really in my nature. Some kind of say that I'm naive, and they're probably right.

That doesn't mean I'm stupid, though.

That doesn't mean that I don't catch the way that Syaoran's always looking at me. That doesn't mean that I don't get that look in the corner of his eye. That odd little pitch he gets in his voice whenever I'm in trouble or kidnapped or whatever mess I've managed to get myself into. Or for that matter, the way my heart skips a beat whenever he pays attention to me as more than my guardian.

I also don't miss the fact that every time I summon up the courage to actually ask Syaoran about this, the next thing I clearly remember is waking up a few minutes later, usually in his arms. While that really isn't too bad - I've gotten used to passing out by now, really, and there's a lot of things that're worse than waking up with him - after it happened a few times, I think I can guess what happened. I know Syaoran was from my world. I know Syaoran knew who I was. Not that that was too hard - if we were from the same kingdom, he'd almost certainly know who the only princess in the entire country was. And I can guess a few more things, as well.

Do you know that once, there was an assassination attempt on me? It was when I was five... I think, my memories... well. It turned out to be someone from a neighboring kingdom that was trying to start a war. My brother... well, I was too young to think of it at the time, but I think I know what happened to him, and those he was following. I can't say I'd ask for it, even if he DID try to kill me. My brother's a king, though, and he has a hard time running an entire kingdom, especially when father's death left him in charge so early on, so I try not to judge him too harshly. He IS my brother, after all, and he'd just ended up in a position of great power at the time.

But that's not the point here. The point is, my guards. I saw them as they were defending me. There was something in their eyes, their facial expressions, their overall demeanor. They were stoic. Resolute. Fearless. Loyal. Syaoran has all of these things, but something else was in them, as well.

Desperation. As though he were defending the other half of his soul, as if he were defending something not just more important to his life as a bodyguard would regard his charge... but more as a lover might. And I know that that didn't just happen somehow in the time it took for me to wake up the first time with no memories.

And maybe that itself wouldn't be enough to be convincing. After all, maybe he's just extremely loyal... but there's more to it than that, even though the way he protects me, he never gives up on me, and is pretty much willing to spend night and day with me is plenty of proof. It's me. I can't say that I'm in love with him for sure - my memories are too muddled for that. But if it isn't, then I'll be surprised. I know this feeling I've got for him didn't just happen overnight, either. It isn't just a crush. I... think I've had those, once or twice, when I was very, very young. This is... this is different. As if I known him all my life. I can read him like a book. Ever since I first laid eyes on him with this patchwork memory of mine, I've trusted him more than anyone else. Even with my memories, with my elder brother, as much as I love him... Syaoran somehow pushes even him out. I can practically finish his sentences sometimes. I can honestly say I don't know what I'd do without him, other than it wouldn't be good. And truth be told I get more than a little worried about him a lot of the time... and the rest of the time I'm a lot worried. It... just isn't right, that someone like him should be like this, so young, over me, no less... especially if we just met.

And I can say pretty easily say that if there wasn't anything there... I wouldn't be drawn to him like I am.

Perhaps alone, all the pieces don't mean much, but together, hundreds of them? There's something there. Maybe in some fairy tale, a princess would sit there and just ignore all of it, but this isn't a fairy tale, and as much as I end up playing the damsel in distress whether I like to or not, I'm not about to just say it's a coincidence.

I can't quite put it into words. I can't. There's something stopping me. Something just at the edge of my consciousness, as though it's warning me. Something... I don't know about happened. Something ELSE happened that for some reason nobody is telling me about. Probably for the same reason that I can't directly think about... this. Hopefully I'll find out soon - every time I get a feather back, it gets a little bit easier.

But that's why I do what I do. I don't directly address it with Syaoran. Not because I don't want to. But because I can't. But that doesn't mean I don't know what he was to me. Or what he is to me.

He still is. THAT is a lot easier for me to figure out... but I have to do this carefully. I have to do this right. For both our sakes. I don't know what's triggering... whatever it is, but if it's dangerous to either of us, I have to find a way around it somehow. Like I said before, I'm not stupid, and I'm not so stupid as to charge in to this head-first, and never mind the consequences. This is too important for that, and I don't think I could bear the thought of causing him harm through this somehow. And I don't want to be wrong - until I have my memories back, or I'm otherwise absolutely certain, I don't want to risk it. I don't know if my heart could take it. I'm close. But not yet.

I don't know what's happening. I don't know why I can't remember it. But I think I know what Syaoran was to me, and hopefully what he is and will be to me. And even if I never do remember just what happened... that's alright. If I had to trade my memories of him to have a life with him, I'd do it a hundred times over. He's worth more than just a few memories to me.

Sakura looked over the piece of paper before her as she sat in the quiet hotel room that she shared with Syaoran. Kurogane and Fai were likely bar hopping, taking Makona with them. Silently she suspected Fai was doing this to further drive Kurogane crazy. It seemed to almost be a sport for him. She questioned both the kindness and wisdom of such, but then again, Fai never did seem to reason exactly as everyone else did.

Fortunately for her, she'd been good at her writing lessons, and royalty received a good deal more practice with it than the regular folk - at least, she thinks that's how it worked. Eyes skimming over the parchment, a strange white one with light blue lines for some reason she can't fathom, she looked at what she'd written one more time. Perhaps a bit more - or less - poetic than she'd thought, but she vaguely recalled being either very good or very bad at this sort of prose back in school. No matter; this was, really, for her eyes only. And maybe someone else's, but not right now.

Everything in it, she knew, but that... THING... whatever it was, kept on trying to strangle it out of her. It wasn't, however, complete, and slowly but surely, she knew, she was fighting it back. She didn't know how far she could push it back, but she'd gladly keep on soldiering for the brown-haired boy that'd saved her so many times. Her hunch, it seemed, proved correct - much as taking notes on something helped you remember the details, so too did writing help her articulate what was going on. Naturally, she couldn't defeat it - at least, not yet - but in this little chess game she seemed to be playing, she managed to get a bit of an advantage. And although she felt silly writing this out as she did, she cannot deny that it helped, at least to some extent.

The door slammed behind her, startling her out of her thoughts and writings. Syaoran, back from getting dinner. Something called 'Chinese take-out' that they'd both grown fond of in the week or so they'd been on this strange world.

"I've got the food, Princess," said the archaeologist as he came in the door, kicking it shut behind him, both hands carrying rather large bags - grocery bags, as she'd seen them on other worlds. Though not heavy they could be awkward. Apparently he'd gotten enough for Kurogane, Fai and Makona, if they're hungry when they get back, and likely something to start with for breakfast as well.

"You got a lot," Sakura observed as she stood up to walk over to help him - hesitating for only a second to pick up the paper, fold it neatly, and place it in her pocket.

"Writing?" Syaoran asked, brow quirking as Sakura relieved him of one of the bags, helping him to haul it over to the small hotel room table. Sakura nodded.

Syaoran clearly wanted to know more - somehow she could read him like a book sometimes - but she headed him off at the pass. "It served it's purpose, though. I'll tell you about it sometime. I promise."

Syaoran looked vaguely befuddled at this, but accepted it, with a nod.

"Syaoran?" Sakura asked, pondering things for a moment as she pulled things out of the grocery bag.

"Hm? Yes, Princess?"

She'd been waiting to ask him this for a while. She'd never really managed to convince herself to before, but now, it felt... right. She suspected it had something to do with what she'd just written... and whatever bond she may have with the boy that she can't remember. A faint smile crossed her face as she spoke. "...could you call me Sakura?"

And for the rest of the night, Syaoran was somewhere between confusion and elation.

Comments, criticisms, flames? That's what the review button is for. This is the first fanfic that I've had the guts to publish, as I'm sure it shows, but to be honest, despite the appeal of Tsubasa otherwise, there's only so much angst I can take – and to be honest I think that Sakura is rather heavily underrated in the brains department, feathers or not, even if she can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. I don't think she'd be with something this important to her, though.