Captain America/Avengers
"Old Things"
BeautifulAlice
Summary: Even though Steve's technically just nearing his middle ages, he feels rather old. But sometimes, it's the old things that matter.
Notes:
-I do not own Captain America or Avengers. (Or White Collar)
-First Captain America fic!
-I have actually no idea how old Steve Rogers really is, but based on the look of him from both the comics that Sholio's posted on her Livejournal, and from the movies themselves, Steve looks relatively young. Still, if I'm totally off-base, I'd like it if someone could let me know Steve's actual age.
-I also have no idea what Steve calls Agent Romanov.
-This is all Sholio's fault, due to her posting back-to-back Captain America cool stuff on her blog. (Thanks for that. XD)
-Also posted over at AO3.
Steve felt like an old man sometimes.
Especially when Tony was all 'hey, aren't you like someone's great-grandfather?'-which was both amusing and rather…well…sad.
He sometimes didn't mind feeling old.
But sometimes…
It was more than he could bear.
Once, he commented about the matter with Natasha, after a few missions where they'd gotten to know one another-mostly by accident. He remembered when she'd started to threaten to beat him senseless if he didn't stop calling her "ma'am", and he asked her "Well, what should I call you then?" She'd responded with amusement, "My name is fine." And when he just looked at her, she seemed to realize he was serious, and she appeared to consider before adding-almost tentatively, "You can call me…Natasha."
So he did.
After that they'd bonded over names and nicknames and codenames and other long forgotten family names…
He never knew that a person could have so many different names to call them by.
But he was getting off track.
He felt old, and…withered. Like a book that's been read one too many times, or a shirt that could barely be called a shirt because of how faded it grew over time. He felt as though he were turning into an old man.
It was part of why he kept dodging Agent Hill's attempts at getting him set up with another girl. While he was flattered about it, he just…didn't feel right, somehow, dating someone that looked his age.
Because he didn't feel his age at all.
Once, when he was sitting in the living room at the Avenger Tower for their usual television marathon session watching something called White Collar that was about a conman trying to do good, Steve felt suddenly as though he were trapped. He wasn't sure why the feeling came on, or how, but he only knew that he had to leave, he had to get out of that building, find someplace that didn't scream of all this…this…technology, and…
He didn't realize that he was already out the door and getting onto his motorcycle when his hands were shaking as they tried to stick the key into the ignition.
And then a soft feminine voice spoke.
"Steve."
That one word made him feel safe, all of a sudden, and he knew who it was without looking up from still attempting to stick the key in the ignition. He slowly slid off the bike, and sat propped up against it. Natasha sat down next to him, neither one of them paying attention to the fact that the floor was freezing. She took his hand in hers, and…waited. He wasn't sure how he knew, only that she was wanting him to talk about what was wrong. Maybe it was all the missions they'd done together, maybe it was the time they'd grown to know one another, he didn't know. He only knew that he had to explain.
"Sometimes…" He began, and had to stop and clear his throat. His throat felt as dry as sandpaper. "Sometimes, I see all this technology, and even though I've gotten used to it…"
"It takes you by surprise," Natasha said softly-understandingly.
"It shouldn't. I've been aware of the technology and all since I first woke up, in a way, because the first thing I did was run out of my apartment and see all the lights, the buildings, the…everything. I can't…"
"You remember the Old New York," Natasha offered, and he nodded.
"And…and it makes me feel like I've outlived myself. That any moment I should die of old age, but I'm-I won't because I'm still just…" He swallowed hard, and she seemed to consider his words for a few moments before saying softly,
"Sometimes it's the old things that matter."
He blinked, and looked at her, and she quirked a small smile-one of the smiles that he loved so much about her.
"Tony was telling me the other day that even though we might feel like old warriors who've lived past our prime, it's the old things that matter. Something his father had once told him. Tony told me when I was feeling…rough," She said. Steve stared at her, and the words rattled in his head.
It's the old things that matter…
It sounded like something that Bucky would have said, once-a long time ago. It…it was actually rather comforting, in a way, and he gave a sudden laugh and she looked at him in confusion. He tried to explain,
"I was just thinking that if Bucky was here, he'd probably make some sort of joke like we should be glad we're not as old as Fury, or something," He knew it probably didn't make a whole lot of sense, but she smiled anyway.
"That sounds about right," She agreed, amused. "I'll have to think of someway of telling the Director that, without implicating you or us."
Steve stared at her, and then laughed again.
"You're serious aren't you?" He asked, amused. She quirked an eyebrow, and said,
"Have you ever known me not to be serious, Steve?" Her tone was playful, but her facial expression was dead serious, and that made him laugh again. She actually seemed to almost grin at that, and pulled him up on his feet.
"Where are we going?" He asked, as she lead him through the garage to the doors.
"Back upstairs. I want to know if Caffrey manages to pull off that crime with Burke finding out."
"Tony thinks that you watch that show because it offers you tips in crime," Steve blurted out, and was abruptly horrified with himself. He'd never meant to say that to her, but for some reason, his mouth hadn't wanted to shut up.
She smirked.
"Tony would," She responded, and they stepped into the elevator. "Jarvis-back to the living room area, please."
"Yes, Agent Romanov. Captain, are you better?" Jarvis asked, and Steve blinked at realizing-yes. Yes, he did feel better. Better than he had in a long while.
"Yeah, Jarvis, I'm good, thanks." Steve responded, glancing sideways at Natasha with a grin on his face. "Maybe we can trick Tony into saying that it's a good thing we're not as old as Fury when the two of them are together again?"
"It would take some creative word play," Natasha allowed, and paused. "Jarvis-you won't tell Stark about this, will you?"
"You're secret is safe with me," Jarvis promised, and both of them smiled as they stepped out of the elevator and back towards the living room where Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Thor were all waiting for them.
End