Choices
Rick was sitting at his desk in his office with a half empty bottle of scotch and a half empty glass of scotch, neat sitting next to it.
Half empty, just like his life and his present mood.
Meredith was a mistake, a really big mistake in his life. Problem was he never knew at the time just how big a mistake it had been. The paternity test results he had gotten back just a week after Meredith filed for divorce and it being California, Meredith had taken him for everything he was worth, leaving him mostly just with Alexis.
His beautiful little baby girl, the love of his life. It's just that the test results came back telling him that Alexis wasn't actually his. Alexis was his in paper, the birth certificate that Meredith had filled out said she was.
The divorce paperwork had told him yet again that Alexis was his. And by now Rick only thought of her as his, and Alexis was never, ever going to find out different. Alexis just didn't happen to be his by blood.
Meredith had been cheating on him before they even had gotten married, let alone the one time he had caught her in the act. It had left him wondering just how many men she had cheated on him with prior to him.
Those times when Meredith showed up at the loft telling him that she had stopped by to see her daughter. It was just another steak in his heart. HER daughter! Did she know that Alexis actually wasn't his all this time? Meredith never referred to Alexis as THEIR daughter, only HER daughter.
Then there was Gina. Yet another one of his many mistakes when it came to women. Even his mother had questioned why he was marrying Gina.
He had married Gina because he was lonely and wanted the family that he hadn't had. He wanted to give Alexis the family that he had never had. A mother AND a father, instead of the various men that his mother involved herself with.
Gina however had shown her true colors when it came to Alexis.
Alexis wasn't wanted. Gina did nothing for or with Alexis. It was as if, if Gina ignored her Alexis would just disappear from her life.
Then along came Kate Beckett. Kate had ignored him, teased him, insulted him and pushed him to change who he was. Kate Beckett really did make his life better. The perfect Yin to his Yang.
He had spent years pushing, pulling. Pushing Kate to get her to see him, pulling her pigtails to get her to pull herself out from behind her walls.
Problem was if he pushed or pulled to far or too hard, she would push back even harder.
Every little thing he did was like walking on egg shells, afraid that if he stepped on the wrong one or too many of them, she would run. And running seemed to be the one thing that she was good at.
You got too close to her heart and she would push even harder.
He almost lost her when he got involved with her mother's case behind her back, and yet he got her back and Sorenson was out of the picture. He was so not right for her. If Kate had stayed with him her life would have been so very boring.
Kate gave him a hint of things that were possible when he decided that he couldn't follow her anymore. She had told him that having him there was what made her job easier to handle. And that she wanted him there when she found out who had killed her mother.
And then she turns around and gets involved with Demming. Parading him around the precinct, kissing him in front of him.
He was out and Demming was in. Still he tried. Offered several times to get her to go with him to the Hamptons with him, just for the weekend. Even if he did pray she would stay for the entire summer. However she shot him down each and every time, till he finally gave up.
Getting involved with Gina yet again was an even bigger mistake that getting involved with Meredith. It's just that it was all Kate's fault. Gina was the only one showing any interest in him. Kate certainly wasn't.
It really was more of a summer from hell. Gina spent her time on the phone or doing video chats on her laptop, doing nothing but work. Still with Gina hounding him to type he got his book done and was back in New York in almost record time.
Rick finds that when he gets back, Kate hates him again, not understanding what he had done wrong. She had a boyfriend for christ's sake, why should he have called her? Call her to ask her how much she loved her boyfriend instead of him.
Only to find him gone when he gets back. Inside he was celebrating, especially when he is back on the team. However Kate hasn't changed. If anything she is even colder towards him, leaving him to start from square one again.
He was making progress, or so he thought. Right up until someone knew shows up in the precinct that Kate is showing off in front of him.
"Kate didn't tell you about me, did she?" Rick wanted to slap that smirk right off his face.
Dr. Motorcycle boy was his new name and Kate never even once told her or the guys that she loved him, and yet she went out on dates with him.
They are doused with radiation and she ends up in his arms. They almost freeze to death and she ends up in his arms.
Why did he stay after all that? Problem was he kept coming back for more. How many times had he questioned himself. Why was he punishing himself over her.
Then she gets shot and his fear that he was going to lose her permanently gets him to tell her that he loves her. It wasn't fare and he knew it, but he couldn't live with himself if she died without her knowing how he felt.
And what does he find at the hospital, after he has finally washed all of her blood off of him, and literally burned the clothes he had been wearing. The blood had to go, so that meant the clothes he had been wearing had to go too.
And what does he find? Dr. Motorcycle Boy is there next to her, supporting her instead of him. Even worse is the fight they have in the waiting room. The worst part was that he was right. He had brought up her mother's case and it had gotten her shot.
Then she disappears for 3 months while she heals from her gun shot in the arms of her boyfriend.
The new Captain throws him out on his ass, and in a way he is grateful for that. It forced him off the case and out of Kate's life. Forced him to think about moving on.
Only when she comes back he finds out that Dr. Motorcycle Boy hadn't been with her for those 3 months. She had gone off to lick her wounds all alone.
Montgomery and even Jim had begged him to get her to stop looking into her mother's case before it killed her. Just why would they think she would listen to him when she so obviously didn't love him?
And just to prove it he had this, and Rick picked it up again to look at it, after emptying his glass in one big swallow.
Katherine Beckett and Joshua Davidson, cordially invite you to their wedding.
Followed by a location, date and time.
Kate had told him that she was a 'one and done' kind of girl. Kate had decided that her 'one and done' was Dr. Motorcycle Boy and not him.
Still he had no one to blame but himself. He was a coward and had never told Kate ever again that he loved her. His mother had tried to get him to listen and tell her, but he didn't listen.
Well that's not totally true, he had listened. He was just to big of a coward to tell her, knowing that if he pushed too hard, she would only run.
Run straight into the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. It's just that his silence had achieved the same result.
Rick was finally up and dressed, but was delaying as he stood in his study.
"You're going dad?" Alexis stepped into the doorway and stopped there.
"Yeah, I don't plan on staying long. I'm not even sure if I'll make it inside." Rick knew he was still a coward, besides Kate wasn't his, so it didn't really matter anymore.
"I'm sorry dad. … I know what she means to you. She just wasn't ever going to see you in any other way. No matter how hard you tried. I just don't understand how Josh could get where you couldn't." Alexis didn't hate Kate, but she didn't like Kate very much anymore either.
"It doesn't matter anymore pumpkin. What I feel is no longer important, Kate has made her choice. … I'll be back in an hour or two. We can go out to eat when I get back." Rick offers and stops at Alexis long enough to kiss her head.
Alexis watched him leave and finally let her face show how sad she was. What Kate was doing really was starting to get to her. It was only now that Alexis started hating her and started work on how to get over Kate Beckett and move on.
Rick drove to the church that was listed using his GPS since he had never been here before. A church, really? Must be Dr. Motorcycle Boys idea, since this place didn't even speak Kate Beckett, let alone scream it.
Rick had no problem finding a spot to park, which he found strange. He was late, almost really late. His plan was to show up and sneak in and listen to them to say their 'I do's' and then sneak right back out and go home. Probably crying the entire way.
Just where was everyone? Just how many people had they invited?
Rick stepped inside and found the church empty. So much for snaking in un-noticed and sitting in the back and then slip back out again and go home.
There were a few people way up front and the church did look ready for a wedding, just that it was void of people.
"Castle? I didn't expect you to be here." Lanie suddenly showed up.
"Lanie! … I thought, … I was just going to stay for a moment." Rick tells her.
"I always thought it would be you up there." Lanie tells him.
"Kate isn't interested in me. She's made that quite clear over the years and even more so lately." Rick states the obvious.
"What are you talking about?" Lanie didn't understand.
"Kate made it quite clear that she didn't feel the same about me that I did about her. She ran off with Josh after she got shot, and obviously accepted his proposal." Rick waves his arm out into the church.
"Kate didn't run away with Josh after she was shot. Kate went up to her dad's cabin and stayed there all alone for three months. Josh proposed and she accepted because you didn't stop her." Lanie knew what Kate thought about Rick, it's just that Rick didn't show or tell Kate anything different.
"I thought, …. Alone! … Why?" Rick knew that if she had asked he would have either stayed there with her and took her out to the Hamptons, if being in the city was too much for her.
Lanie simply shook her head. "Kate has been waiting for you, but you never said or did anything. Josh however did."
Rick stared at Lanie shocked. How was this even possible? "I told Kate that I loved her seconds after she was shot. I didn't want her to die not knowing how I felt about her. … Just she doesn't remember any of that time."
"And you never told her again? … Just how stupid are you? … Every women wants to know that she is loved. How would Kate know what you thought if you never told her again. Kate can't read your mind Castle." These two never did talk, it was all looks and teases. That wasn't love and even Lanie knew that.
"Because I'm a coward. … Kate doesn't let anyone in past all her walls. … Except Josh obviously." Rick confides.
"You two really should have learned how to talk. Kate doesn't think you love her anymore and Josh is telling her all the time that he does. Plus he proposed, offered her a future. Something you decided not to give her." Lanie really was a little mad at Castle. She had such high hopes for these two.
"It doesn't matter anymore Lanie, she's marrying Josh. … My time is up. I just hope she's happy." Rick tells her.
"Not today she's not." Lanie tells him, and sees the look of not understanding on his face.
"Kate only just found out that she has been married for the last 15 years to some guy she met in college. They drove down to Vegas, got drunk and went through a drive thru marriage church as a lark. Kate didn't think it was real.
Till today when they went down to get a marriage license." Lanie explains.
"Kate has been married for the last 15 years?" Rick was shocked. So much for the 'one and done' part.
"Hence the reason for no marriage today, or possibly anytime soon since she has no idea where he is to get a divorce." Lanie tells her. "So Kate went home to her apartment in shock."
"So Kate's not marrying Josh." Rick was processing this slowly.
Lanie shakes her head. "You still love Kate, don't you?" Lanie asks.
Rick nods his head. "More than life itself. … It's just that if I pushed to hard, she would run." Rick was convinced of this.
"And how is Kate going to know this if you don't ever tell her, except when she's lying on the ground dying after having just been shot?" Lanie was getting more pissed at him. "Kate is in her apartment Castle. … All alone." Lanie points out.
Kate wasn't married to Josh just yet, even if Lanie was sure that Kate didn't love him, it's just that he offered her a future. Likely praying that she could learn to love him, or simply like him enough to stay married to him.
"Kate's in her apartment, and not marrying Josh today because she's already married." Rick talks to himself.
Getting Lanie to look at him with a small light of hope suddenly now lit.
"I'll see you later Lanie." Rick leaves her and heads for his car.
It was a short time later and Rick was parked and working his way up the stairs on auto-pilot, still working out what to say, if she opened the door.
Rick knocked and Kate opened the door. "Castle, … what are you doing here?" Kate was sure their last fight was going to be their last one. Last anything actually.
"Hi Kate, can I talk to you?" Rick knew this had no chance if Kate wasn't willing to listen.
"Talk?" Kate didn't understand. Talking was something they didn't do. Kate was too big of a coward to talk to Castle.
"You don't have to say anything Kate, just listen. … Please!?" It was time to go all in. Push all of his chips to the middle of the table.
Kate stepped away from the door and opened a space to let him in and closed the door behind him and followed him into the living room.
"Kate." Rick played with his hands. He might have decided to push all his chips into the pot, just that, that didn't make this any easier.
"I know you told me that you didn't remember being shot, or anything about that moment. And I let that pass and I shouldn't have. I was a coward and let your lapse of memory get me off the hook, even if I did mean every word that I said that day." Rick started off with.
This got Kate to looked shocked and quickly tried to hide it behind her poker face. He was talking about the point where he told her that he loved her.
"I should have told you again, but I was a coward, plus you looked happy with Josh and if he made you happy then that made me happy.
"My timing at the time may suck, … ok did suck. I couldn't let you die on me without knowing how I felt about you after all these years.
When you told me that you didn't remember, that let me off the hook. It allowed me to think that you didn't feel the same. So instead of risking losing you completely I kept my mouth shut, plus you were with Josh. I could at least stay close even if you didn't love me back, and I thought I could handle that.
You ran off for 3 months after being shot to let your doctor boyfriend help you heal. You left me feeling that you had made your choice and it was Josh and not me." Rick tells Kate.
"I was alone at my dad's cabin." Kate shakes her head.
"I didn't know that because you didn't tell me. You wouldn't let me help you, take care of you and it broke my heart.
I watched you die on me. I was running next to the gurney as they rolled you down the hall with Lanie on top of you doing CPR to try and keep you from dying on us.
They stopped us at the door, standing there covered in your blood. Leaving us scared out of our minds that you were going to die on us." Rick tells Kate.
It was only now that Kate thought about what her actions of slinking off to her dad's cabin had affected others. It made her feel selfish and egotistical. Only thinking of herself.
Kate was just starting to say "I'm sorry" when Rick started talking again.
"I told you then Katherine Houghton Beckett that I loved you and my cowardice allowed me to never say it again. … But I do love you. More than I've loved any other woman in my life. … Well maybe except for Alexis, but I'm not sure she counts in this instance.
I do love you Kate. I loved you for some time even before I told you when you got shot. I was just too big of a coward to tell you.
And I know that you are marrying Josh, but I couldn't let you not know that you are loved." Rick says his peace. "I can only hope that Josh actually does love you like you deserve.
I hope you are happy with Josh, you deserve to be happy. More than anyone I've ever met." Rick steps up to Kate and kisses her cheek. "Take good care of yourself Kate Beckett."
Rick exited Kate's apartment and never looked back, though he did hope that while he was walking that Kate would run him down and tell him that she loved him too and wasn't going to marry Josh. But she didn't.
It was 3 months later when he got another wedding invitation to attend the wedding of one Katherine Beckett and Joshua Davidson. This time however Rick didn't go, he threw it in the trash. Kate had made her choice and he didn't measure up.
Rick had already gone into the precinct months ago, even before the first wedding announcement and informed Gates and the guys that he was resigning. He wouldn't be lurking their halls again.
Rick had noticed that Gates wasn't sad to see him go, but she didn't seem happy either, He didn't see Kate, and didn't ask where she was. He did however leave without saying goodbye, which ate at him for month's afterword.
Another choice, another mistake, one of so many. So very many.
It is now 2 years later:
Rick was walking for the park. He wanted to be around people for a change in the last 2 years. It was all good, just not good for him.
It was all the lights that flashing lights that got his attention and got his curiosity up. Maybe just maybe?
Rick was just standing as part of the crowd, gawking. It was something that he felt out of place doing so he moved away, closer to an ambulance and found himself looking around, not really paying attention.
"Castle?" Rick knew that voice, even if he hadn't heard it in a long time.
"Hi Lanie." Rick tried to give her a smile, but it didn't work out to well.
"How have you been, haven't seen you in, …" Lanie tried to work it out in her head.
"Two years, one month and four days, but who's counting." Rick gave her another weak smile.
"If you're looking for Kate, I can save you the trouble. … Kate resigned six months ago." Lanie tells him.
That got Rick's mouth to fall open and have his eyes bug out. "Kate resigned! … Why? …. What happened?" Rick needed answers; his heart was still wrapped up in Kate's embrace.
"Josh filed for divorce about nine months ago; Kate resigned just a few months later. She stopped calling and moved out of her apartment. None of us have any idea where she is now." Lanie is forced to tell him.
Rick just stood there gawking at Lanie, trying to figure out how to breathe. "What about Jim, he'd know." Rick offered up, only to see Lanie shake her head.
"Javi found him in Florida somewhere. … Kate's gone Castle, … just gone." Lanie was missing her friend, but she had dropped off the map. Even Ryan and Javi couldn't find a trace of her.
"Thanks Lanie, … I'll see you around." Rick turned and walked away while pulling out his phone. People owed him favors or he knew people that his was willing to owe a favor to.
It is now 2 months later:
Rick was pulling up outside of a house that his report gave him the address for in a little town called Monroe, NY near the Canadian border. Rick had to admit that while it wasn't a tiny town, it's just that compared with New York City, it was tiny. A large truck with three men sitting up front pulled up right behind him. Rick knew from the report that the house wasn't Kate's, only that she was renting a room here.
Rick got out and motioned for the three men to follow him. After ringing the front door bell Rick was greeting by an older woman, somewhere around the age of his mother.
His report told him that she lived her with her husband and that Kate was living as a renter in their old daughter's bedroom. As soon as she opened the door, Rick knew that Mrs. Sanders recognized him since she sucked in a large breath.
"Hello Mrs. Sanders, my name is Richard, …" Rick is interrupted.
"Castle." Mrs. Sanders finishes for him. "Please tell me that you're here for Kate." Mrs. Sanders had her own hopes and dreams for Kate.
"Is she here?" Rick asks hopeful, even if his report did show that Kate lived here. She may have moved before he could arrange to get here.
"She's out with my husband buying groceries, they should be back shortly. … Kate is an amazing woman, just so lonely, so very lonely. … But she won't listen to us.
She has every book you've ever written and we've watched her read and re-read them over and over again. She has all these stories about you, but she won't let us help her.
Please tell me you're here to help her, she won't listen." It was breaking Mrs. Sander's heart watching Kate fall apart.
"Where's her room?" Rick asks and motions the three men down the hall carrying boxes and rolls of tape. "Does she have furniture, pictures?" Rick asks only to see Mrs. Sanders shake her head.
"She's using our daughter's old room and her old bed." Mrs. Sanders informs him. Meaning what was in that room was all Kate had left.
Rick was afraid of that after what he read in his report. "This is for you." Rick pulls out a small piece of paper and hands it to her. "It should cover a year's worth of rent along with payment for anything else, along with a little something for my thanks for looking after her."
Mrs. Sanders took the check and looked and Rick watched her mouth fall open and stopped her before she could decline. "It's yours, I want you to keep it, and since I'm not taking no for an answer, you don't have a choice." Rick smiles at her.
And Mrs. Sanders watches two of the men walking out carrying a full box all taped closed.
"I'm moving Kate back to New York, into my spare bedroom. I love her too much to leave her out here. And I'm going to do what I can to prove it to her. … And maybe somewhere along the way she'll love me back." Rick had hopes, and this time he wasn't letting Kate's walls or his fear of her running get in his way.
Rick had made too many bad choices that got them in this mess in the first place.
"Kate already does love you dear." Mrs. Sander's smiles. "She's just too stubborn and foolish to admit it. … Or ashamed. … She told us a little about her ex-husband. About the mistake she had made. Kate needs a good swift kick in the pants if you ask me. My husband and I have talked till were blue in the face, but she won't listen." Mrs. Sanders hangs her head.
They both watched as the men kept taking out boxes all taped closed. "Well she's going to listen this time, because I'm done talking." Rick was resolute.
"Good for you son." Mrs. Sanders patted his hand.
"CASTLE!?" Rick turned to see Kate step into the house carrying a bag of groceries with what was likely Mr. Sanders right behind her. Kate watched as another box was carried out the front door.
It was clear that Mr. Sanders recognized who he was and having Kate call his name only helped.
Mrs. Sanders stepped up to her husband who had two paper bags of groceries in his arms. "He's here to take Kate home dear." Mrs. Sanders looks up at him smiling.
"CASTLE!?" Kate had overheard that comment.
That got Rick to take the bag of groceries and put them down and take Kate's hand and escort her back outside so they could talk. That left Mr. and Mrs. Sanders to stand at the doorway and watch them out on their front lawn, talking.
It didn't look to either of them that Kate was listening, or if she was, her stubborn streak was just too big for him to get past. Mrs. Sanders was all set to charge out there and try to talk some sense into Kate, yet again, when suddenly Castle kissed her. And the two of them watched Kate wrap her arms around Castle and kiss him back.
"Please tell me this means what I think it means." Mr. Sanders looks down at his wife.
"I hope so dear, I certainly hope so." As Mrs. Sanders wiped away her tears and could see her husband blinking back his. Men don't cry her ass!
Rick was out by the moving truck that turned out to be way too big for the job, however having three men to box everything and load it meant it was done in record time.
"I wanted to thank you two for everything." Kate hugged and kissed both of them.
"You don't have to thank us dear, we were happy to do it." They both hugged and kissed Kate back. "And let him love you dear, you deserve it. We both know that you were in love with him when you married that Davidson fella.
Stop running and making mistakes dear. Your fears are only ruining your life and making everyone around you suffer right along with you. And don't pretend to tell me that marrying that other guy was the right thing to do." Mrs. Sanders chastises Kate for her choices she has made.
"He loves you and his coming all the way out here to get you should show you that, if you are paying attention. We'll tell Ray that you have quit your job and moved away.
And Kate, we expect an invitation to the wedding. A glorious and happy wedding this time." Mrs. Sanders was convinced there wasn't an ounce of love and happiness at the last one.
A properly chastised Kate Davidson hugged and kissed the two of them and walked for Rick's car.
It was a quiet car ride till Kate finally spoke as she turned to Rick. "I'm sorry Castle, I'm so sorry. … I just, … I couldn't.
Josh told me that he loved me and then he proposed and offered me a future. Something you didn't want to do or couldn't do. Even after you came to my apartment that day. You told me that you loved me, but didn't offer me anything. It told me that you didn't want a future with me, only that you loved me.
And that wasn't enough Castle. … It just wasn't enough." Kate played with her hands and looked out the window. She may be going with Castle and move into the spare bedroom in the loft, but they still had a lot of work to do.
"I'm sorry Kate, I really am sorry. I loved you then and I love you still. I was a coward. My two failed marriages told me that I wasn't any good at keeping a marriage going and I was scared. Scared that I would fail you, not be good enough for you.
And I was scared that if I pushed too hard, you would just run and reject me, so I kept my mouth shut, and suffered in silence. I got that invitation to your wedding and I felt the my whole world crash down around me.
I thought that you were marrying him because you loved him, and if he made you happy then I was happy. I just wanted you to be happy Kate, I just wanted, …" Rick trailed off, not sure just what else to say.
"We need to talk Castle, this time really talk. … And I didn't love Josh. … I talked myself into thinking that I did since he was offering me a future that you didn't.
But it was a disaster from the day of the wedding on till he filed for divorce. I was going to stay and suffer through since it was the choice I had made, but Josh wanted more.
Even though we were married he kept throwing that I loved you instead of him in my face, it made both of us miserable." Kate laughed a little even though it was anything but funny. "Now we're both twice divorced. … I've screwed up my life so bad Castle, I don't even know what to think or do anymore.
I even drove my dad away. He lives in Florida now." Kate hung her head low. Quit her job, failed her mother, married the wrong guy, TWICE and even drove her father away to another state.
"I know." Rick tells Kate, getting Kate to turn and look at Rick. "I ran across Lanie at a crime scene that I stumbled across and she told me everything she knew. I hired three different private investigators to try and find you.
It's how I found where you were living, working as a local security guard in Monroe. They found your dad, talked to you old landlord, any number of things.
I'm not taking no for an answer this time Kate, not anymore. I love you and I'm going to prove it to you, even if you don't listen. Alexis is in college, staying in the dorms. Said she wanted the whole college experience. Mother moved out after getting the part that she has.
Mother is actually doing pretty well for herself again now. You should see her new place. … I won't sugar coat it Kate. Mother isn't please with you and Alexis has learned to hate you. Winning either or both of them back over to your side isn't going to be easy." Rick knew they were going to put up a fight, especially Alexis.
Kate was stepping out of the master bathroom having just finished taking a shower and was changed and stepped out into the living room just in time to watch the last of the movers place all of the boxes upstairs in one of the now 3 empty bedrooms.
The loft looked just like it always had; it was a place that she liked. Kate always thought Castle had good taste. "Now what?" Kate asked timidly, since this was a Castle she didn't know very well. Her Castle was timid and reserved, this one was take charge and in your face.
"For right now, I'm going to cook you dinner and you're going to help and we're going to talk. Something we should have done years ago. If I end up stepping on your toes Kate, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm done stepping around you waiting for you to break and run away.
Last time I did that you ran away into the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy, and I'm not doing that again." Rick tells Kate, getting Kate to smile at his nickname for her now ex-husband.
"Tomorrow were going down to the precinct to get your old job back, because there are three things that are going to happen Kate, three things." Rick tells Kate, since no wasn't an option.
"One, we are going to talk tonight, I want to know everything. Two, I have something I need to show you, which will likely piss you off, but since I'm not running away when you get mad at me this time, I'm not afraid. Especially since you haven't gotten your gun back yet." That got Kate to snicker.
"And the third?" Kate asks.
"We're getting married. … Not today, not tomorrow, but we are getting married. Right after I find the perfect ring to place on your finger that shows how much I love you and how committed I am to loving you for the rest of our lives. And when I do, I'm going to get down on one knee and ask you." It had Kate blinking back tears.
Two years and an accidental meeting between Castle and Lanie to get her here. Problem was Kate knew that if Castle had done something like this two years ago, she would have fought back and pushed him away. Now, 2 years later, things had changed, and she wanted him to ask her since she already knew what her answer was going to be.
Kate talked about her last two years while they ate, except neither of them actually ate much, since Kate was busy talking and Rick was sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
"I still have a couple of people who owe me favors; motorcycle boy is so going to pay for what he has done." Rick growled out and Kate had no illusions that Castle was going to make a couple of phone calls.
"That's Dr. Motorcycle Boy." Kate corrects him.
"Not after I get done with him. Not with 8 broken fingers that will never work properly again." Rick was getting madder the more he thought about it, and Kate could see his face starting to get red.
"He has 10 fingers Castle." Kate corrects him.
"No he has 8 fingers, the other two are technically thumbs, not fingers. Not that it matters, they're all going to end up broken in countless places. Provided that he gets to keep them at all." Rick was toying with the idea that they just be cut off and done with. It's just that he wanted Josh to know pain, lots and lots of pain.
"You said there was something you wanted to show me." Kate asks not hungry anymore.
Rick took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Kate wasn't sure she was going to like this, if Castle was this afraid of her reaction.
"This way." And Rick holds out his hand and escorts Kate into his study.
"You have your white board and I bought this to help me with my plot scenes for my books." Rick explains. "It's not nearly as good as agent Shaw's smart board, but it's nice." And Rick turns it on and brings up the screen he wanted to show Kate.
"That's my mom's murder. … WHAT THE HELL CASTLE!?" Rick was right, Kate was mad.
"I love you Kate and I knew Josh wasn't going to help you solve it or even let you solve it. He probably did everything he could to keep you away from it. And after listening to you, it worked to." Rick reasons with Kate, not that, that tactic ever worked with Kate before. However there was always a first time.
Kate went silent. "No he didn't, he even got mad whenever I even mentioned my mother." Kate replied softly, almost too soft for Rick to hear.
"Yeah, not surprising after what I've found." Rick looks at Kate.
"You found out something! … What Castle?" Did Castle really have something?
"I had people flown in from Europe to do some digging for me. The theory was that they wouldn't be known therefore not corrupted by all of this. … Cost me a pretty penny, but it was all worth it." Rick starts his explanation.
Kate only stared at him wondering just how much money Castle had spent on her mother's case, and he did all this because he loved her. All these years she had been so incredibly stupid!
"Josh Davidson." Rick paused as Kate turned her head to look at the board. "Josh was spotted only a couple of weeks ago talking to this man. It was a relatively private setting so he didn't get to listen, so I don't know what was said, but I can guess." Rick knew Kate wasn't going to like this, hell he had run for the toilet when he had found out.
"He was talking to this man." Rick brings his picture up front and center. "One Senator William H. Bracken. … Not too exciting, just a filthy rich politician talking to a doctor, who had gotten into your life and proposed to you and then treated you the way he did." Rick knew for a fact Josh was going to pay.
"William H. Bracken. … He was a lowly assistant back when your mother was killed. Immediately after your mother was killed his political career takes off and so begins his meteoric rise in politics. There is just one problem with his meteoric rise, everyone who was winning has something happen to them.
Meet Paul Heinz, he was a shoe in for councilman, with an excellent shot at being governor, maybe senator or higher. … However his little girl gets run over by a supposed drunk driver who fled the scene. There were open bottles and the car stunk of alcohol. A stolen only hours before car, that stunk of alcohol." Rick stops and lets Kate digest it.
"A set up, she was rundown on purpose." Kate could still see it, even if she hadn't been a homicide detective for 2 years.
"His little girl is still a cripple to this day, however it got him to pull out of the race and allow Bracken an easy victory." Rick points out.
Rick pulls a new picture up on the screen front and center. "Meet one Jonathan Gray; he was the top candidate running for his party's senate seat against a number of other contenders, one of which was Bracken." Rick pauses.
"Let me guess, something happened." Kate was still quick and it had Rick smiling that his Kate was still in there somewhere.
"Some interesting racy photos of him being with someone other than his wife surface, however no one can question the woman in the photos, since she is found dead. Stabbed no less, and give you one guess where she was stabbed." Rick offers Kate.
Kate's eyes are open wide and she is staring at Rick. "In the back where she bled out." And watches Rick nod his head.
"And guess who is running for President without taking money from political action committees, so that he is not beholding to any special interests? And guess what happened to the political front runner who was the party favorite?" Rick offers looking at Kate.
"How does this lead back to my mother's case?" Kate didn't see the connection.
"During his first campaign about the time your mother was killed, he used cash to finance his campaign." Rick starts off but is interrupted by Kate.
"Where did he get that kind of cash?" Kate didn't understand.
"That's were a few phone calls and a number of favors from contacts with the mob come in. … Seems back in the day, mob bosses were being rat'd out by someone. They were being kidnapped by someone who in turn would ransom them back to the highest bidder. Either his own mob or a competitor who wanted him out of the way." Rick explains.
"Dirty money. … Helps explain how he can run for President without PAC money. … That still doesn't tell me he had my mom killed. My mother wasn't involved with dirty money Castle." It was an accusatory tone and if Castle so much as hinted that her mother was dirty, she's live on the street before she stayed here for one more minute.
"Of course not, we both know your mother wasn't dirty. Problem is I don't have anything yet that places him as being involved with your mother or vice versa. I don't know how they connect, … yet.
I just have a dirty senator who started his rise to power at the same time as your mother was killed." Rick points out.
Rick had said good night and watched Kate walk up the stairs, a place no one went anymore except him to do some cleaning, otherwise it was just a void space that no one went to.
Rick however was still awake hours later when there was a knock on is door frame. "You awake Castle?"
"Come on in Kate." And Rick lifted up the covers inviting her in and watched as Kate crawled into bed and allowed herself to be spooned into Rick's chest with an arm draped over her to hold her close.
"I was cold." Kate half lies. Being upstairs all alone in the loft was a little cold, Kate just wasn't physically cold.
"Go to sleep Kate, you're perfectly safe here, you always were." Rick tells her and it allowed Kate to relax and goes to sleep. Only this time her sleep was filled with the future of Rick being in it.
Rick and Kate stepped off of the elevator together and it felt familiar and frightening all at the same time. They were both immediately recognized from people on the floor and greeted. "Beckett!" Espo all but yelled out.
"It's good to see you Beckett, we missed you around here chica. Lanie is going to burst at the seams when she finds out you are here." Espo is smiling wide.
Kate gave a weak smile since she was nervous. "Where's Ryan?" Kate had looked around but didn't see him.
"He's out with our new detective showing him the ropes chasing down a lead. He's going to be sorry he missed both of you. … I didn't know you two were back together. Lanie told us about the divorce. I'm sorry Beckett, really sorry." Espo was sorry she had to go through a divorce, not that she was divorced. He had never been a big fan of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.
"Beckett, my office." Gates yelled out and went back inside.
"Be right back." Kate tells them and goes inside Gates office and closes the door.
"You know what's going on?" Espo asks Rick who was still standing there watching Kate.
"Yup." Rick replies.
"Planning on sharing with the class Castle?" Espo was dying to know what was going on.
"Nope." And Rick sat down in his old chair next to what used to be Kate's desk, but was now someone named Dempsey? It felt good and strange all at the same time.
The meeting turned out to be relatively short and Kate walked back out and picked up Castle as she walked for the elevator. "And?" Rick was dying to know.
"You had something to do with that, didn't you." Kate was all over Castle as soon as the elevator door closed and it had Rick backing up until his back hit the wall of the elevator.
"I may have pulled in a few favors and made a few threats." Rick offers.
"Threats?" Kate questioned looking at Castle.
"It's amazing what some negative press in facebook and tweeter can do these days with people that need votes from the public to get or even keep their jobs." Rick points out.
"You threatened the commissioner to get me my job back?" Kate was ready to shoot him, if she had a gun or kiss him, she didn't know which, …. Yet.
"I didn't threaten him. I simply pointed out what happens to public officials who run afoul of popular opinion and if his 401k was big enough to retire on." It had Kate laughing lightly. "Did it work?"
"I'm a homicide detective again if I pass my psych evaluation and my weapons training. However I'm only a junior homicide detective under Espo and Ryan, and my pay is reduced to that level.
And Gates hates you again. … Thanks Castle." Kate stroked his cheek.
"I love you Kate, and being a homicide detective is who you are. Besides how else are we going to solve your mother's case?" Rick questions.
"You realize Gates is going to throw the both of us out the first chance she gets." Kate cautions, Gates was not happy being forced to take the two of them back. "And just how did you get added back into this anyway?" Kate looked up at him.
"Maybe someday I'll tell you Kate, after you tell me that you love me." Rick offers.
"I always did love you Rick, even before I married Josh. I was simply just as big a coward as you were." Kate tells Rick which gets her shoved up against the side of the elevator and kissed by Rick as passionately as he could, right up until the elevator went 'DING'.