Author: thecivilunrest
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Summary: I lost that part of me that's pure.
Character/Relationship(s): Gale Hawthorne/Prim Everdeen (A little? A very little), Peeta Mellark/Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne/Katniss Everdeen, Mrs. Everdeen, Beetee
Rating/Warning(s): T, for mentions of character death
Word Count: 818
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any related titles.
Notes: Trying out a new style. I don't know anymore. For if the stars were mine who is just an AWESOME writer seriously go check her out.
Somewhere Down the Line
You can't help but wonder what Prim would think about all of this. About you and Katniss not talking anymore, and Katniss and Peeta having two children, about her mother not being with her only living daughter.
About her not being alive.
You think it's lucky that you'll never be able to find out.
.x.
You feel like you've known Prim for her whole life. You've seen her grow up from the tiny, undernourished girl that she was into the calm lady that she is today. Her hands don't even shake as she watches her sister fight for the death, not even in the privacy of her own home.
Mrs. Everdeen refuses to watch Katniss fight for her life in the Hunger Games, so Prim asked you to watch with her. In all of the nights that you've been coming here, it's the only sign of weakness that she's shown.
Thank you for coming, she tells you one night, grabbing the hem of your coat, and you nod before leaving.
If a twelve year old isn't going to show weakness about the girl that they love most being shipped off to die, neither will you.
.x.
District 13 has given you your orders for the night. You're ready. You're more than ready for this. You and Beetee, but especially you, have been orchestrating the way that the bombs will ignite, looking like supplies and then not being what they want.
It's like what they've been doing with the Hunger Games; it's something that they want that's underlined with horror.
You anticipate watching the Capitol go up in flames.
What you're not expecting is watching your life go up in the very same way.
.x.
You pretend not to notice that Prim and Katniss have the exact same smile. It won't do anyone any good for you to notice that.
.x.
I hate it when Katniss leaves, she says, blue eyes huge in the white of her face. You've always hated the trademark paleness of a Merchant, but you can't hate it in her. Don't you?
You think about the fact that Katniss is the person that you've loved for most of your life, and then you think about Prim, who is the one person that has loved Katniss for their whole life. The one person that has more of a claim on Katniss than you is the girl standing in front of you, and that's something that you've never thought of before.
Yeah, you admit, but we just have to get through it. She's gone all the time now anyway. You pretend that your voice isn't bitter. So does she.
.x.
Seeing as how Katniss is in no condition to go the Prim's funeral, you figure that Mrs. Everdeen will at least invite you, but that's not to be.
You find out, years later, that since there were so many casualties and no one really could tell who was on what side, that all of the remains from that attack on the Capitol are put into a mass grave.
You go to that site, the snow crunching underneath your feet, and look at the ruins. The new democracy has left the Capitol-that-is-not-really-the-capitol alone as a memorial to all that died here. (To all that you killed here.)
They're almost beautiful, glinting like a knife in the sun. They almost hurt your eyes.
You don't say I'm sorry, because for most of these you aren't sorry. You're only sorry for killing one person-the rest were nameless and faceless casualties and sacrifices. They were necessary.
She wasn't.
.x.
Katniss' house isn't any different than your own, or anyone else's in the Seam. You knew it wouldn't be, and it's nice to see that Katniss is at the same level as you, on all counts.
Katniss, you hear a voice say, but when you look to see who is say it she freezes. She has soft blonde hair and big blue eyes and she reminds you of Posy.
Yes? Katniss replies, and her whole face softens. It's nice, seeing her that way. You wish she'd look at you like that.
Nothing, the girl says, and runs out.
I think she likes you. Katniss gives you one of her half smiles, and then you both start laughing.
.x.
You don't find out what you did until it's already done.
You didn't know that Prim was out there.
You might have thought twice about it.