Keep Walking
A quiet figure walked in the endless sands. Cold desert air whipped through a brown cloak, revealing tatters of what looked like the dirty remains of a uniform.
Where are you?
The figure paused. Its head turned up towards the stars. Whatever it was looking for there, it did not seem to find. Slowly it lowered its head, and walked on.
What happened to you?
You remembered the war. The endless fighting, the screaming, the carnage. The pain, the horror, and underneath the never-ending fatigue that made your scream at the nurses who kept bringing your back to health to just "Go away, go away, just let me die pleaselet me die!"
And then he would come, and hold you firmly, soothing you, his gentle hands stroking your back as you sobbed. He, who had so many problems already, who was alienated by his own friends, trapped by the decisions he couldn't make.
Yet he was always there for you, cheering you up when no one else could.
And so you fought on.
You swore to me…
You lived for nothing else but him. In your enemies' faces you would see his. In the victim's faces, you would see his. In the suffering and horror, all you could see was his face as you walked, and walked, and kept walking in an endless road made of the foolishness of humanity.
You promised you would stay.
"He's gone." Gone? What was that? 'Gone' was a word used for something that left, that deserted a space and would not come back. "He saved us all. In the end, it was how he wanted it to be."
Lies. All lies, hidden with blood and sweat and tears."We're sorry." Sorry? For what? Sorry implied that they felt regret, remorse. But they couldn't feel that, because he wasn't gone; he wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead.
You promised.
"Where are you going?" A scientist blocked your way. You stepped around him and walked on.
"I'm going to find him." Voices were rising. People rushed around you, words mixing, melding. You ignored them all.
"You can't!" A girl stepped in front of you, her dark hair flowing past her shoulders, her arms outstretched. "He's gone! Dead! And he isn't coming back! Why can't you accept that?" Tears ran down her cheeks.
You paused. "You would stop me, Lenalee?"
Silence. Determination burned in the girl's eyes. Then the fire died, and grief drew lines on her face, making her look 20 years older. Her long hair covered her face as she bent her head and stepped to the side.
She had loved him too, after all.
And so you walked on, through green forests full of life to deserted sand dunes and lands of eternal winter. Searching, always searching.
The night was almost over. The far horizon was turning orange. You looked up once more into the stars that held the answers but refused to speak. They seemed to flicker more, like they too sensed the end of the night and the temporary end of their existence.
You felt tired. You could not remember the last time you had eaten, could not even remember what the word 'food' meant.
Ha… You could almost see his face, aghast that you had forgotten what his most favorite thing in the world was.Ha… ha… Something was bubbling in your chest. You hadn't felt that feeling in a long time.
Your legs stopped of their own accord. They bent, making you kneel in the dry cold sand.
Your hand clenched over your heart as the memories ran through your head. Memories of him eating piles of food in one sitting. Of him getting lost for the hundredth time in their base's many halls. Of him fighting to save just one child.
Of him kissing you.
Really, is that all you got? You could see him now, smiling down at you, that oh-so familiar smile, that one smile meant for you, eyes half lidded, the corners of his lips turning up. You promised you'd look for me, didn't you? Why are you just sitting there?
Ha… ha… Your throat hurt. The sky was getting lighter. The sun peeked over the horizon, its first rays bursting on your face.
You were tired. So tired.
"I'm coming…" you whispered. You fell forward, and lay unmoving as the sun grew more confident and shined brighter. "In a minute…"
Your eyes closed.
"I'm coming… Allen."
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As long as you keep walking, you will reach your destination. ~Anonymous