The first few years she could only be too the side. As an infant she was merely being carried in Mother's arms, nuzzled up to her chest and oblivious to the attention the town gave her. Toddler years were spent mostly in the audience or backstage, watching her parents. And each year she'd be asked to come out and exploit her cuteness. Pacifica just kept her eyes on her parents, and she automatically felt more comfortable infront of so many people. Assuming the young Northwest heiress was shy or stage frightened, the town found it adorable. Finding the "aw"s satisfying, and some good publicity whenever they would comfort her, Mr. and Ms. Northwest had no problem with this habit. Kindergarten through 2nd grade Pacifica had graduated to simply just sitting in a chair in the back, or just standing there while holding either Mom or Dad's hand. Either way, the spotlight would eventually go over to the cute little girl in a designer dress, and she would always look at her parents instead of the audience.
2007
Wanting their 8 year old daughter to branch out a little, they had the young Pacifica was told that she would have to greet the town that year. Excited for this sort of experience, she practiced hard to memorize her lines, and took her parents advice to heart. Soon the big day came. She wore a crown of flowers in her hair, the top upper layer of her hair pulled into pigtails while the rest of her hair went down as-per-usual. The ceremony went on as usual, ending with her words. Mr. and Ms. Northwest announced that their daughter would say a few words before closing the ceremony, and exited the stage and into the audience.
Little Pacifica approached the microphone, repeating their advice in their mind. Once again, she looked at her parents sitting in the audience. Speak loud and clear. Use the stage. Put on a show. Look up. Make Mother and Father proud. her mind chanted. Repeating her lines, Pacifica walked around the stage and mimicked the earlier rehearsed hand gestures. She tried to follow their words exactly, her eyes trying to leave her parents cheering and encouraging faces. They were successful sometimes, but not by much. She looked at familiar faces in the crowd itself whenever not looking at Mother and Father. Finishing her speech, the audience cheering for her. Pacifica surprised herself that day, since it was the first time she felt like she had to truly perform infront of others. It would've been easy to jump to the conclusion that she would be nervous or get stage fright, having heard stories about the issue from her peers and various media. Instead of chickening out, she just felt comfortable. And loved how everything dissapeared when she was up there. She loved being on stage. She did not understand why she was so comfortable up there. She just was. And Pacifica knew that she would want to do it again and again.
Pioneer Day was the best day of her life.
The next day Mr. and Ms. Northwest got the footage back from the camera people, and re-watched the entire ceremony. Praised themselves for their perfection, criticized each other for any possible flaws that should be corrected the following year. Ms. Northwest called Pacifica over, and did some nit picking of her own. She pointed out how the little girl was looking down alot, and the most of her face the camera could catch would be blurry side views when she walked around the stage. "I didn't know there was a camera" the little girl said, genuinely surprised. Taking this into consideration, Mr. and Ms. Northwest excused the young girl for her mistake, and made sure she understood that she is not to repeat it. She only nodded, filing this rule away. For the most part though, Mr. and Ms. Northwest praised her for her work, telling her that she did a great job and that they were very proud of their daughter.
2008
The same routine was repeated this year. 9 year old Pacifica approached the microphone, her hair in a similar style. Only this time she chose to have a single flower rather than a crown. Her outfit of choice was a long creamy pink victorian dress that reached the floor. She thought she looked like a princess. Keep your head up. Look at the camera she reminded herself. Upon looking up, the little Pacifica couldn't help but notice the number of people staring at her. There were more faces than she remembered. She felt her nerves start to kick in. Don't look down. Keep your head up. Look at the camera. Pretend they're not there. Make Mother and Father proud. her mind plagued with these reminders. They must've fell flat though, cuz this sudden stage fright was quite apparent. Instead of using the stage, stood in one place half-frozen with very little movement. Instead of loud and clear, her speech became a series of low volumed stutters and mumbles, with very few words being at all intelligible. But this time she did keep her head up and looking straight at the camera, just as told.
Upon getting off the stage, she did not see the proud smiles or be greeted with the warm hugs from her family. While her Father had to leave to oversee some events in town, her Mom was left to watch her with a cold hard stare. Instead of letting her daughter participate in some of the activities and socialize with her peers, Ms. Northwest instead grabbed her hand, and dragged her home. Pacifica could tell something was wrong, and could only walk along in anticipation of what is to come.
Upon arriving in the privacy of their home, her Mother exploded. She screamed at Pacifica, threw a tantrum, smashed some of her daughters belongings to pieces, etc. She repeatedly told her daughter that she did a bad job, and that she had disappointed her. Pacifica, upset by her Mother's current mood, reminded her that she did look at the camera this time. She only brushed it off. She then tried using her status as a descendant of the town founder. "How dare you call yourself a Northwest. Your not a Northwest, you little brat! A Northwest does not do what you just did!" was her Mother's response. Throughout the entire thing, Pacifica cried. Both at her Mother's behavior, and at her disownment of her own daughter. Ms. Northwest didn't mean what she said, though at this point Pacifica had yet to figure out this character trait. Instead, she took it to heart. Her Mom told her that she would not be allowed to attend to Pioneer Day, and wouldn't be allowed out of her room. Pacifica was fine with the last part, since that was all she wished to do. Though the sudden cancellation of a family tradition as important as Pioneer Day was a huge blow. With her Mother having left the room, Pacifica ignored the mess of her now trashed room and cried her eyes out. Her Mother was mad at her, and just said some really mean things. And she did not know what she did wrong.
Few Hours Later
Once having calmed down, Ms. Northwest immediately had the mess cleaned up. She had Pacifica repair herself till she looked presentable again. And on herself. They went straight back to attending the Pioneer Day festivities as if nothing had happened. Pacifica only nodded and went with what her Mom told her too, too shaken up from earlier to argue. While she had fun celebrating this local holiday, her Mother would occasionally stop her and tell Pacifica how she should've acted. To be more professional. More enthusiastic. Proud. Welcoming. Use a stage persona. Put on a show. Be Perfect. She told her to think of it like Mickey Mouse welcoming guests when they come to DisneyLand. And if she were to feel shy again, to fake it til you make it. Initially Pacifica didn't think anything of it, wanting to spend time with her friends. But she did take it to heart.
2012
Be Perfect she thought to herself, putting together her outfit for this year. Age: 13. Be Flawless her mind repeated later as she tried to get her Rapunzel long hair to co-operate properly. Make no mistakes again, while trying to pull off a perfect and even set of cat-eye style eyeliners. Put on a show she thought as she pinned in her earrings. Fake it til you Make ither mind said as she observed herself in the mirror. Make Mother and Father Proud she came out of dressing room to show the result off to her parents. Pacifica's perfectionist instincts being merely the traumatic leftovers from a repressed memory.