Disclaimer: I don't own anything square Enix owns.

A story I wrote at 2:16am in the morning!

"Denzel, Marlene. Why are there young teenage girls and boys outside our home?" I asked furiously.

"Those are your fan girls." Marlene replied. "On a poll survey from the internet, you are the most popular male character in Final fantasy, beating Squall Leonhart by 19%, and Tidus by 24%."
"Okay..."

"What makes you that popular, besides your hotness, is that you are available!"

"I'm available?" I gave the children a puzzling face. Last time I checked, wasn't Tifa and I consider a canon.

"Yeah, you never chose to be Clerith or CloTi." said Denzel.

"Uh, what is that?" This CloTi and Clerith business...

"Oh, well it's one of the biggest debate since forever!" the light brown boy replied. "Clerith is combining your name with Aerith, while CloTi your name with Tifa."

"Where did these people come up with this stuff?"

"Internet, Fanfiction. Apparently a lot of people are really into this."

"Huh?"
"Making up stories about you with Aerith or Tifa."

"... Do these people have anything better to do than write stories about my love life?"

"Nope!" answered both the children in unison. "Some of these stories are really good Cloud. You have to read them sometimes."

"Great..." I stared outside Seventh Heaven, a bunch of screaming fan girls... "How do I make them stop?"

"You can't... Cloud whatever you do, DO NOT get involve. Clerith and CloTi fans will tear you and each other apart!" screamed the young girl.

"I don't see how."

"Clerith fans won't accept the fact that CloTi is officially a canon and she was the one who saved Cloud in his subconscious, they bash her Cloud, THEY BASH HER." Marlene informed me.

"And CloTi fans won't accept the fact that Aerith was the one who opened Cloud's emotions. THEY BASH HER TOO!" Denzel also informed me too.

"This is stupid. Can't I get Tifa to ask them to leave?" I am tired of these constant hormonally girls screaming his name.

"Cloud... Tifa has her own troubles to deal with..." said the boy.

"What do you mean?"

"Tifa's fan boys are chasing her all around town. There are too many..." said Denzel. "Poor Tifa... since the game had a graphic error, it gave her huge jugs... Now she is crowned Queen of Hentai all over the internet..."

"Er... you are telling me that teenage boys are drooling over photo shopped images?"

"And fan art."

"Oh my lord..." I shook my heads. This game was so 14 years ago, can't everyone move on and play Final fantasy 13? Look at Lightning, she's practically the female version of me. I had to end this now. I walked over the door. As I opened it, I was attacked by hundreds of Clerith, Cloti, and my fan girls.

"Cloud! Run!" screamed the children.

I ran like hell, oh my god, these fans are worst than those twilight fan girls. It's like fighting over Team Jacob and Team Edward again. "Marlene! Denzel! I want to tell you guys, that I love you. But I don't think I'm going to be able to survive. Tell Tifa I love her too!"

"Cloud no!" screamed Denzel. "Run Cloud RUN!"

I just kept running and running. Eventually I caught up with Tifa who was running from her fan boys. "Hey, nice jog no?" I joked.

"Haha, not really." she replied back. "How are those fan girls?"

"Murderous, I asked them to go away, and they attacked me."

"Better than my boys. Urgh, "Tifa! Strip for me baby!" So immature."

"Haha, I ask you to kick these asses, but... there are too many."

"Yep, Cloud. How are we going to end all of this?" she asked.

"Good question. My fan girls are screaming that I'm single, or they ship this crap called Clerith or CloTi. I don't even understand. Stupid internet stuff."

"Haha, well these fan boys don't give a crap about my love life. They all want me to flash for them." she responded. "You have it so much more easier than I do."

"Tifa, please, if you flash for them, they are done. I can't do anything here. If I pick a side, the other side will maul me. If I say I'm single, these girls will all attack me again! So if you think I have it easy, you are wrong!"

"I am not going to flash for them. I have some pride and dignity."

"Well, looks like we are going to be running for a while."

"At least I'm running with you." she smiled.

"Oh my god, you totally ship CloTi don't you?"

"Haha, of course. Trust me Cloud, as of now, there are more CloTi fans than Clerith. Thanks to... America."

"Haha, and you are the Queen of Hentai!"

"That's so disgraceful." she laughed. "Since 1997."

"To be honest. I think I ship CloTi too." I chuckled. "Clerith is breaking the Bro Code."

"Bro Code?"

"Yes, Bro Code, you don't date your Best friend's ex, his sister, or any of his other relatives. Zerith Fans are as murderous as Cloti and Clerith."

"Really?"

"Yeah, because according to Marlene, they never officially broke up."

"She's been spending too much time on Fan fiction."

"How do we have internet?"

"Cloud, its 2012, everyone has internet now a day." I laughed, advance technology is really making my life harder. I glance over to Tifa again, wondering how she is holding up. "Cloud, I'm getting tired. I been running nonstop, but I can't outrun them all."

"Tifa, I'll carry you." I shouted back. She hopped onto my back as I continued running. I took a look back. "Look! CloTi fans are fighting the Clerith fans! About half the population stopped chasing us."

The reason why they stopped was because I gave Tifa a piggy back ride, so CloTi thought it was cute. Clerith on the other hand, denied and fought back.

"Now, for your loyal fan girls and my boys." she said. "We are going to have to do something that was never shown in Final fantasy VII."

"Oh no... Tifa... That would ruin all our fan's mind. We might be... degraded back down below Final fantasy X. Worst, Final fantasy XIV."

"Cloud! Do you want to survive?"

"Yes. I think, we don't have any other choice..."

I stopped running, and faced Tifa. I grabbed her by the waist and slowly our faces met. We kissed in front of all those fan girls and boys.

"NO!" screamed most of them. "Boo!"

"I'm going back to staring at Rikku from FFX-II." said some of the boys.

"Ladies, we can see that this is over. Come on, I think Noctis is still available." said some of the girls.

"I think it's safe." said Tifa.

"Hey, maybe we should just you know, continue kissing in case they come back." I suggested. To be honest, it was my first kiss. (I'm such a virgin.)

"Oh you." she laughed as she walked towards the bar.

"I wasn't kidding, Tifa. We aren't finish yet!"