Sometimes, Marshall hates Lionel Trane. He hates his smug face and his pretentious attitude and sometimes, if he were violent and wasn't against seeing people hurt, he would be tempted to deck him. He hates the way he struts around school, acting flamboyant, trying to provoke others into giving him the attention he apparently needed and snapping at them as soon as he was called a fag. He hated that he was so exclusive and seemed to know everything about everybody, even when he didn't know shit. Marshall hated that he was so obnoxious and demanding and high strung. And don't even get him started on the fact that Lionel is permanently motivated by sex and that it was all he seemed to care about.
Other times, he loved Lionel. He loved the way the attention Lionel gave him made him feel like he was the only person in the world that mattered and when they kissed, he loved the way their lips fit perfectly against each other's. He loved that their hands seemed to be made for each other and that when they hung out, there was no pressure. It wasn't like with Courtney or Noah or, hell, even Jason. Lionel just … got what he was about and there was no rush on anything. It was a breath of fresh air compared to what he normally felt. It kept him from suffocating entirely.
But now? Now he hated Lionel. He hated Lionel more than he ever hated anyone. He hated him for leaving him behind to deal with this shitty life alone. He hated him for getting into a stupid car accident and he hated himself for hating Lionel for something beyond his control. Why hadn't he asked to hang out that night? At least they would be together. He wouldn't lose the only person he felt he truly loved beyond his family. So as he trashed the basement, having what they would call a shit fit and put T out in the shed and he was sobbing and he couldn't see and not even the pain of getting a gash on his hand from the stupid mirror he punched seemed to distract him.
Marshall Gregson really hated Lionel fucking Trane.