"House Party: a Screwed-Up Fanfic, Chapter I", by the mighty Iatrogene. This fic features the following characters. Joe Higashi, Dan Hibiki, Saji Keisuke, Akira Koizumi, Mai Shiranui, Shingo Yabuki, Terry Bogard, Andy Bogard, Rugal, Ryuji Yamazaki, Blue Mary, and Whip. Most of these characters are from SNK's truly awesome 2d fighting games, the "King of Fighters" series.
Others, namely, would be the products of Capcom and an anime that I truly adore. The one Capcom character I did place in this fic would be Dan Hibiki, from the "Street Fighter Alpha" series. The two characters from my favorite anime, "Iketeru Futari", are Saji Keisuke, and Akira Koizumi.
It is a cold saturday night at Rugal's estate. Dark and cloudy, the skies look almost foreboding; as if something were to happen tonight. From the mansion can be heard many muffled screams, like festive animals on a hunt. Also, very loud music is heard from the mansion, as a karaoke party is going on...
One Saji Keisuke and one Shingo Yabuki, both drunk, are stumbling about, attempting to sing something sounding similar to "Speed Racer", but performed by the world's largest ensemble of dying cats and poor violin players. The results are quite frightening, and even more so is the arrival of an already drunk Mai Shiranui, who traverses the length of the audience (mostly passed-out drunks), and jumps up on the stage. Immediately following this, she removes a microphone from a bag on the stage, and joins in.
Almost instantaneously, her singing awakens over half of the drunken people, who were previously (and harmlessly) sleeping. This is not a good thing. As if a switch was thrown just then, the density of alcohol in the air triples, and the stench is almost visible, a wafting green monster floating about.
Just then, Ryuji gets up and knocks Mai over with the Hydra's Judgement. Immediately following this, Whip pulls out her gun, and shoots both the remaining drunkards onto their backs. A shocked sigh is heard through the room, and then Whip makes known the fact that she had only shot them with tranquilizer darts.
Saji's girlfriend, Koizumi, runs over and picks him up. Then she carries him off to a couch and proceeds to slap him senseless, in the hope that he will awaken due to this treatment. He does.
Saji: KOIZUMIIIII!!! MY LOOOOOVE!!
Having said this, he hugs her so tight that the cracking of bones can now be heard, and Koizumi swiftly, and deftly, applies bludgeoning force to Saji's groin. To this, he responds by immediately releasing her in favor of his injured loins. He lands on his face and squirms violently on the floor as Koizumi stomps off.
Saji: MY ANGEL IS GETTING AWAY! PART TWO!!
Koizumi, apparently softened by this gesture, acquires an icepack and hands it to Saji. Then she walks off again.
Mary: Wow, nice girl you got there. She a manic or something?
As Saji groans in reply, a scream of "OSHA!" is heard, and Joe is seen to be messing with Rugal's premium sound system. Ignoring Rugal's warnings, Joe cranks it up. The resulting sonic shock to the eardrums seems not to affect Joe at first. Then, his eyes get as big around as pumpkins, and as he realizes that he cannot hear, he turns it down a bit. Immediately following, a crowd flocks over to the middle of the floor. Joe jumps into the center.
Joe: Check this out! I'll bust a move like you ain't never SEEN!
Having said this, he starts doing the cabbage patch. Then the moonwalk. Then both at the same time, which, surprisingly, is a pretty cool-looking dance. This appears to his credit, as the applause ensues. Then, Dan turns from the punchbowl, and sees him.
A pink mass hurtles itself at the dance floor, and the screams of "OYAJIIIIIIIII!!" can be heard. Needless to say, Dan and Joe start competitively dancing.
Dan: Break it down, B!
Joe: Sho' thing, brudda.
Following this entourage, Joe starts break dancing, and the pros of Muay Thai kickboxing training are exhibited. Joe then does an insane pommel horse exercise as a break dance routine. Dan's jaw drops. Joe smiles. The crowd goes crazy.
Dan: Stand aside, ladies and gents. I'll blow this fish out the water!
Dan starts out with the Egyptian, then goes straight into the robot. Then, in almost a mirror image of Joe, both at the same time. Alternating between this and the moonwalk in a square motion coupled with liquid dancing; he is kicking butt and taking names.
Joe: Whoa. I guess we're both pretty good then, eh? Truce?
Dan: No way, man. I ain't done yet!
Joe: Dan, quit hoggin' the spotlight... I gotta do my thing too!
Dan: Aight, let's see whatcha got.
Joe then starts out with waving, and moonwalking in a horizontal line, then liquid dancing, then busts out the glow sticks.
Dan: SOMEBODY GET THE LIGHTS!
Joe: Thank you much, Dan.
As Ryuji turns the lights off, he walks out to the middle of the floor. As Joe is doing the liquid with the glow sticks, preceding the moonwalk-liquid combo, he, also, is kicking butt and taking names.
Ryuji: You guys suck. Let me show you how it's done. LIGHTS, PLEASE!
The lights turn off, and Joe cues the music. "Monsta Mack" by Sir Mix-a-lot is started. Ryuji appears to like this song. He waits for the beat, then taps his foot, then busts out with a mix of the moonwalk, liquid, then takes off his gloves and does a glove bit. Following this, he does a few breakdancing moves, dances on his hands; and finally slows down to a crawl. Then he inches down until he is on his haunches. From here, he moonwalks and does liquid, then waves himself into an erect position. Following this, he skanks, then straight-out break dances with lightning speed. He spins on his back, and spins himself into a standing position. He freezes with the end of the song, then puts his gloves back on, and says, "IN YOUR FACE!", into the faces of Joe and Dan.
As everyone there is completely speechless, Ryuji, breathing hard, sits down and rests. Rugal, especially, is flabbergasted.
Rugal: All that time, and you never taught me to dance? Dang, Ryuji, you rock!
Ryuji: Stuff it, boss. I ain't no better than you are. You know what I'm talkin' about. Go ahead, show 'em!
Rugal: No way, man. I am not going to dance.
Dan and Joe: Come on, Rugal!
Dan: Whoa, that was kinda freaky. Are we thinking on the same level or somethin?
Joe: Shut up.
Rugal: All right, all right, already. Hold on a minute, okay?
As the group anxiously awaits Rugal's dance, seeing what a man in a bathrobe could do is a prevalent thought in everyone's mind. After all, this is a guy who killed a whole butt load of people, and if he could dance...
Rugal: All right, here we go...
Rugal steps out into the dance floor, and says, "music, please". As Joe fumbles with the controls, Rugal says "Joe, it's number one-fifty-seven, okay?" and Joe punches the number in. A whirring noise can be heard from the monstrous CD player as it clicks, clicks again, clacks once, and starts whirring some more. While the audience was expecting classical music, Rugal's Propellerheads CD starts playing. Rugal walks over, and switches it to "You Want It Back", then strolls back into the center of the crowd.
He stands there for a minute as the song begins. Then he starts the liquid. As this is somewhat boring, he starts moonwalking. Then he stops, flings his left arm, his right arm; and starts hip-hop dancing. Mouths drop open, and remain gaping. Rugal then begins breaking it down. He starts with a spinning breakdance move on the ground, jumps onto his hands and back again, criss-crosses his legs and back again, makes two fists and bends his knees, then goes up and down, and continues on with various dances. Then he spins around, stops and points his index finger of his left arm into the air. Following this, he moonwalks and liquid dances in a square area. Then, of all things. he starts skanking. After this, he kicks one foot forward, one foot back, and vice versa until he is exhausted. But not finding that to be a fitting finale, he ends by crossing his arms and inflating his chest at the crescendo of the very last note.
Everyone being thoroughly impressed, Rugal makes a point of strolling very dignified to the couch nearest him, and puts his elbows on his knees, crossing them in that position.
Rugal: Was that okay?
As empty faces with pumpkin eyes and gaping jaws nod vacantly, he smiles warmly.
Rugal: Thank you all. Now get your sorry butts back to partying!
No one is hesitant to conform to his will. They all start talking about his dancing and going back to their social activities. Terry wakes up just in time to see what he believes to be Blue Mary, but is, in reality, Whip.
Terry: Hey Mary, let's dance!
Whip: Let's DANCE?!! DANCE!! YOU DIE!!
Terry dodges a couple whip attacks successfully, but does not escape the flailing wrath of Whip so easily. He gets hit on his arms, forehead, stomach, kneecaps, and feet. Whip settles down, still breathing hard, walks over to Terry, and kicks him. Terry, feeling like the fool that he should, is shocked by the laughter emanating from a rather drunken (and disorderly) Andy. He turns just in time to see Andy peeing in the punchbowl. Aside from the very contrary behavior of his normally civilized brother, he finds this very funny. Especially since, not two minutes after, Mai serves herself a cup of punch. Then two cups. Then three.
Terry decides to tell Mai about Andy's antics, so he walks over. Mai turns around, and it is apparent that she is hammered. She falls onto Terry, who neglects to catch her. Instead, he lets her fall to the ground, and laughs. He stands there long enough to catch the flaming wrath of his brother.
Andy: What did you DO to her? If you hurt her, I'll--
Terry: Oh come on, Andy. What good would it be? I wouldn't cause any brain damage, that's impossible. She's plenty tough. I'm pretty sure she can handle falling down. Both then look at Mai, who is sleeping soundly on the floor, with a cup of urine punch spilled all over her.
Andy: So, you didn't hurt her? ...LIAR!!
After this, both of the Bogard brothers get into (yet another) fistfight. Although, this time, Terry has been injured more than just slightly, so he is somewhat hindered. Nevertheless, he still issues a medieval whooping on his sibling.
Terry: Learn how to fight, you wuss.
Andy: Well maybe if I had a metal plate on my head...
Terry: Shut up, whiner.
Andy: Take that back!
At this point, the fights are no longer funny at all. Rugal walks over and threatens the both of them, on behalf of the party.
Rugal: Don't force me to make you martyrs of my power, you two!
Terry and Andy simultaneously: Yes, sir.
Rugal: That's better. Terry, Mary is over on the dance floor. Go bother her. Andy, get up. And take your annoying girlfriend with you.
Both simultaneously: Yes, sir.
Ryuji: Boss, I don't see why you put up with them. Send them home... They'll cause nothing but trouble!
Rugal: Yes, perhaps you are right. At any rate, it's time for bed. Round them up, let's put them to sleep.
Ryuji: You got it, Boss.
At this point, most are already asleep, and Rugal takes note of this. As he turns around, Ryuji is doing just what he tells him to. At this, Rugal is happy.
Rugal: Ryuji, never mind. I think where they sit is just fine. Let's let them sleep. You get some rest, you deserve it.
Ryuji: Thanks, boss. I appreciate it. I'm pretty beat.
Rugal: Night, Ryuji. Sleep well! See you in the morning.
TO BE CONTINUED.......